A Very Merry Superhero Wedding (Adventures of Lewis and Clarke)

by Kitty Bucholtz

  “Oh, honey, no,” Joe’s expression changed again, back to his protective look. “There is nothing anyone could say that would change how I feel. I was just thinking that we haven’t known each other very long, and…things are bound to come up that may surprise the other, and…” He shrugged. “I’m sure it will all be fine.”

  Ah, she got it now. He was afraid she wouldn’t like something she might find out about him. She tried to lighten the mood. “You mean like if I found out you like country music?”

  He made a face. “That is never going to happen. Metallica all the way, baby.”

  He’d said things before about not liking country. Tori pushed his buttons. “Or if you found out I like country music?”

  “Don’t even joke about that.”

  “Would you still love me if you found out I own some Garth Brooks CDs? It’s great road trip music. You’ll love it.”

  “That’s not funny.” Joe put one hand on his chest. “You’re killing me.”

  She giggled. “Rascal Flats, too.”

  “Stop, just stop.” Joe’s comical expression morphed into laughter and he kissed her knuckles before letting go of her hand and picking up his fork.

  “You’re not an ax murderer,” she said with a smile. “You haven’t bilked thousands of people out of their retirement money, right? I can’t imagine finding out anything bad about you.”

  She meant it, too. Joe was the epitome of Mr. Nice Guy.

  “Maybe you’ll learn more about my job, wish I were in a different line of work.” His voice sounded casual.

  Tori tried to soothe his concerns, whatever they were. “You work in security, keeping people safe,” she said. “What’s not to like about that? I’m proud of you, Joe. You walk your talk. I haven’t met a lot of people who can do that. You’re my hero.” She gave him a flirtatious look.

  Joe smiled and took her hand again, pulling it against his cheek. “Like a superhero?”

  “No, areal hero. Not a Saturday morning cartoon. You really help people when they need it. That’s a wonderful thing. I’d like to find a job like that.”

  Until recently, Tori had worked with the single-minded goal of making enough money to help take care of her nephew. Temp jobs with few benefits paid more than the full-time jobs she’d looked into, and she could take time off if Ben was sick. But now that Lexie was on her feet, Tori could start thinking about what she wanted to do with her life, not what she had to do.

  “Come on,” Joe said in a teasing voice, “wouldn’t you like to meet a real superhero?”

  “Like Batman?” Tori laughed. “If I ran into Batman in our neighborhood, he’d scare the crap out of me! Really, if you’d never seen any of the movies to know he was a good guy, you’d take one look at him and assume it was all over. Pearly gates, here I come.”

  Joe chuckled and shook his head. “Maybe. But I think if you met a real superhero you’d know you were safe.”

  “You’re the one who makes me feel safe,” Tori said, pulling his hand to her lips and kissing it.

  Joe looked like he was going to say something else, but the waiter interrupted to ask if they had room for dessert. Tori thought about the flourless chocolate cake she’d seen on the menu, but Joe told the waiter they’d pass.

  “Eat too many cookies earlier?” she teased.

  Joe raised his eyebrows a couple times. “You’ll see. You want a to-go box?”

  With the rest of her meal wrapped up, they put on their coats and gloves and hats and scarves. Even without much snow, the temperatures had dipped into the 20s every night not long after the sun went down.

  Joe pulled her close as they walked to the truck. She loved his physical nature. His easy manner helped her to relax and allow herself to be a bit more demonstrative, in public and in private. She normally only let her guard down when she hung out with her siblings, especially with her little brother, Kevin. She’d spent so much energy over the years trying to please her mother, and staying away from men because they might ruin her life, she’d sort of lost herself. Hanging around Joe’s excessively huggy family reminded her that she rather liked physical displays of affection.

  She sighed happily.

  Again Joe drove in a direction not toward home. He made a couple of turns into a residential neighborhood and hit the buttons to roll down the windows partway. What was he doing now?

  Tori started to ask when she heard the Christmas music. She gasped in delight as Joe turned right and pulled into a long line of cars driving very slowly through the brightly lit street.

  “Christmas lights?” She clapped her gloved hands. “That’s one of my favorite parts of Christmas!”

  Chapter 2

  JOE grinned. The colored lights from the outside decorations danced over Tori’s face. Driving around looking at Christmas lights was one of his favorite parts of Christmas, too. The more he and Tori got to know each other, the more they found in common.

  Keeping his foot on the brake, Joe reached behind the seat and pulled several things to the front: a blanket, a thermos, and a plastic food container. He tucked the blanket around Tori’s lap, letting his hands linger at her hips. Then he opened the thermos and poured the steaming beverage into the lid-cup.

  “Hot chocolate?” Tori asked, reaching for the cup.

  “Starbucks hot chocolate. Your favorite, right?”

  Tori nodded and sipped and grinned. She was about to say something else when he opened the lid on the plastic container. Her eyes widened as she looked in.

  “Triple chocolate cheesecake with a mint chocolate ganache topping. For my lady,” Joe said, handing her a plastic fork with a flourish.

  “Oh my gosh,” Tori gushed. “Where in the world did you find something like this?” She scooped a bite onto her fork. “Oh, it’s really cold! Mmm, butawesome.”

  Joe laughed. “I hope it didn’t freeze in here while we were at dinner.” He took a bite. Wow, delicious. “At least the mint flavor goes well with the cold.”

  The cars ahead of them moved slowly enough that Joe could drive with his knee while he shared the cheesecake with Tori. This neighborhood had some of the best Christmas decorations in Double Bay. The house they were now passing had a Santa Claus scene with the sleigh and reindeer on the roof, Santa’s rear end sticking out of the chimney, and an air-filled snowman directing a choir of singing children on the lawn.

  The next house had a nativity scene with animatronic characters. Baby Jesus was waving his hands at Mary who was stroking his head while Joseph nodded. A young boy played a drum in time to “The Little Drummer Boy” music while an animatronic ox and lamb kept time with their nodding heads. The three wise men turned their heads to each other and then raised their arms to point at the star on the roof. The star was magnificent — at least five feet tall and glowing with a pulsing rainbow of pale colors.

  “I’d say these people know about Bronner’s in Frankenmuth.” Tori laughed. “Have you been there?”

  “Not yet. Been meaning to check it out sometime.”

  Tori gasped. “You haven’t been to the world’s largest Christmas store, and it’s only a few hours away?”

  Joe pretended his own shock with a gasp. “I can’t believe I haven’t taken time off work to go Christmas shopping.” He opened his mouth wide and covered it with his fingertips.

  Tori laughed and pushed at his shoulder. “If we had time, I’d take you there this year. Trust me, weare going next year.”

  “Fine.” He really had been meaning to visit Bronner’s. Just hadn’t gotten around to it. It would be fun to let Tori show him around. She’d probably light up like a Christmas tree herself.

  Sometimes she was very quiet, like she was trying to burrow into herself and hide. But when something caught her attention that she felt was important or that she had a strong opinion about, this vibrant woman appeared. That’s what she was like when he met her on Halloween night. She was strong, tough, beautiful, and funny. He was smitten from the start.

  If
only she didn’t have such strong feelings against superheroes. He wanted to find a way to change her mind tonight without spoiling the mood. How could he explain to her that she already knew and loved a superhero? More than one, in fact, though he couldn’t tell other peoples’ secrets.

  They drove past a couple more houses decorated with enough lights and decorations for most entire neighborhoods. “I don’t even want to think about their electric bill,” Joe said, shaking his head. “Just so you know, I’m not ever planning on doing this to our house. We’ll just drive over here every year to look.”

  Tori chuckled and patted his hand. “We’ll see.”

  The next house had a giant air-filled purple menorah in the center of the front lawn. A polar bear dressed in a sweater and knit cap played with a dreidel. Two more bears held a sign that read “Happy Hanukkah.” More menorahs shone inside the windows. A wreath shaped like the Star of David decorated the front door.

  Next came Joe’s favorite house, and the reason for all of the slow-moving traffic. A light show flashed across the lawn, the garage door, and the roof with a loud upbeat mix of holiday songs playing along. The trees flashed on and off in time to the music, and different holiday greetings lit up on the roof and garage, flashing in a lively beat.

  Tori laughed and watched the display for a couple minutes until they moved on. “I can’t imagine how much work that must be, but I love it!”

  She unfastened her seat belt and scooted into the middle of the truck’s bench seat, snuggling up next to Joe. Putting one hand on his chin, she leaned over and kissed his cheek with a loud squeaking sound.

  “You are the best, Joe Clarke. Thank you for all of this.” She cuddled into his side as he put his arm around her shoulders. “This is the best last date I can imagine.”

  Joe chuckled and kissed the top of her head. “I’m glad you like it. But just because we’re getting married doesn’t mean we aren’t going to do stuff like this anymore.”

  “Good to know,” Tori said, eating the last bite of cheesecake. “If being married to you is at all like dating you, I’m going to be a very happy girl.” She licked her fork. “Fat, but happy.”

  Joe laughed and kissed her. He wanted to kiss her more, but he couldn’t while he was driving. Home. They should go home soon. While he was considering the relative merits of cutting short their night out, he noticed a furtive movement. A dark-clad figure stood in the shadows outside the house on the right. Joe braked as he’d done in front of other houses they’d admired.

  No. Not now. What would he tell Tori?I need to run out for a minute. Will you get behind the wheel and keep following this line of cars? I’ll catch up to you as soon as I can.

  Right. And then when she pressed for an explanation?I’ve been meaning to tell you, I’m a superhero. Kind of heir to the leadership, too. Even though you don’t believe in superheroes, you’re still going to marry me, right?

  Joe watched the punk, willing him not to do anything stupid. How did these guys think they could get away with breaking into houses with people around?

  He squeezed Tori tighter. The bigger question might be, how did he think he could continue to keep his secret from her when they were married and living in the same house? He’d promised his parents he would tell Tori before the wedding. Surely she would believe he was one of the good guys, not a poser.

  In Joe’s superhero vernacular, those people were called Pretenders, and there were plenty of them. The colloquial “superhero” came from comic books, but people with powers had been called Paladins for thousands of years. Unless, of course, they used their powers for anything other than the protection of the human race.

  While Joe didn’t believe “villain” was a fair descriptor of many of those people, he was a product of his generation and tended to use the word too freely. Especially since he knew there were some truly nasty villains around, most notably The Nine. Thankfully, the one member of The Nine who had lived in Double Bay died a couple years back. The city became a much better place after his passing.

  But this was the problem: as he tried to explain himself and his abilities, Tori would likely have more and more questions, and he’d have to explain about the history of the Paladins, try to explain why so many people didn’t know they existed, reassure her that their life would be pretty normal. She’d just have to accept that his job might be similar to that of a police officer or a government agent with him coming and going at all hours, in and out of danger, mostly working undercover.

  And then she would ask about their children.

  Joe shook his head slightly and kissed the top of her head. He couldn’t tell her before the wedding. As determined as he’d been only a few months ago not to settle down too quickly, now all he wanted was a permanent tie to the woman in his arms. When they were married, he’d figure out a way to explain everything so that she would understand. He hoped, in fact, that she would embrace the challenges like his mother had, that she would partner with him as part of his support system. His mom could help show Tori what to do.

  If he were so certain it would all work out — Joe could hear his dad’s voice in his head — then he would tell her now. In fact, he would have told her before he proposed.

  Another figure crept out of the darkness from behind the house Joe was watching. Great. What should he do? He couldn’t run out as Joe and confront them. As he watched in indecision, the pair clasped hands and ran hunched over under the cover of trees, then walked sedately out to the sidewalk in front of the house next door. The first one opened the passenger door of a parked car, kissed the second one, and went around to the other side.

  Teenagers. He should’ve known.

  Joe decided to put his dilemma out of his head and enjoy his last date night with his bride-to-be. They spent another hour wandering around looking at Christmas lights. Then Tori made him laugh as she took a few selfies of them both and posted them to Facebook and Instagram. Eventually he turned his truck for home.

  Their own neighborhood certainly looked different from the ones they’d been driving around. The asphalt on the street was buckled and cracked. Half of the streetlights didn’t work. There were Christmas lights along the roof eaves on many houses, but no expensive decorations on the lawns. Too easily stolen. The windows of many of the older houses were covered in heavy plastic to keep out the cold.

  Joe had spent the money to put double-paned windows in his house before his first winter there, but he still needed to put better insulation in the walls. The city gave him the abandoned house two years ago on the condition that he live there undercover, patrolling the neighborhood as Superhero X. City officials wanted to test the theory that crime would drop in areas with more adjunct patrols. Of course, “undercover” meant not standing out, which meant not spending lots of money, so Joe still had a long list of home improvements he wanted to tackle.

  Coming from a long line of superheroes who had saved and invested so that family members who wanted to work full-time had something to live on, Joe could afford a nicer house. But he and his team wanted the new Superhero Liaison Unit of the Double Bay Police Department to thrive and produce results so that the temporary unit would become permanent. They were willing to accept the city’s terms, hoping that as they proved themselves, superheroes would be allowed to work more and more with the police. Including undercover work with the SLU.

  He pulled into his driveway and shut off the truck. He’d turned on his porch light and Christmas lights before he left to pick up Tori so that they wouldn’t return to a dark house. Looking at the place now, after touring those other areas, he decided he’d let Tori convince him to buy a few more decorations next year. They sat quietly for a moment, enjoying the lights of home.

  “I like these icicle lights the best,” she said. “It’s funny how similar our tastes are. I don’t think that’s ever happened to me before.” She chuckled. “Not that I’ve dated that much. Before I met you, I had grand plans for a full life as a single woman.”

 
; Joe grunted in agreement. “You and me both.” Then he looked down at her. “Well, not the woman part.”

  Tori laughed up at him.

  God, I love her so much. Please don’t let me mess it up.

  Joe leaned down slowly and placed a kiss on her lips, filled with all the promises he wanted to make. What if it wasn’t enough towant to be a good husband, a good friend? What if he should have — but hadn’t — learned an essential relational principle vital for building a great life?

  He was beginning to see what his dad was getting at during the very little pre-marriage counseling Joe had agreed to. He and Tori had a lot to learn about being husband and wife, and not knowing each other very well would make the whole process more difficult.

  But the loving part would be easy. He pulled back from the kiss, feeling himself get carried away. Five more days. It was only five more days, and Tori said she wanted to wait. Good thing it was already getting cold in the truck.

  “We should probably go inside,” he said. At the look on her face, he added, “To move things around and make room for your stuff.”

  “Soon,” she said in answer to what they left unspoken.

  Joe kissed her forehead and opened his door, welcoming the icy blast against his face. This was going to be the longest five days of his life.

  TORI awoke slowly the next morning. She couldn’t remember what she’d been dreaming about, but she remembered being happy. She stretched a little and then opened her eyes with a start. This wasn’t her bed.

  She looked around her former bedroom in Lexie’s apartment. Oh, right. She grinned into her pillow. When she and Joe got to his house last night, they needed something to keep their minds off what they wanted to do to each other. Joe’s newly-adopted cat, Snickers, a former stray he had been feeding for months, wandered in from the living room demanding attention, food, and more attention.

  Tori had teased Joe about the smell of cleaning products in his house, something she’d never noticed before. He stuttered for a moment before admitting he’d hired a cleaning service. He wanted the house to be as perfect as possible before she moved in. That had seemed a good segue into their task for the evening — moving furniture around and rearranging the closets to make space for Tori’s belongings. Since she didn’t have much — she’d only moved into her tiny studio apartment a few days before she met Joe — they were able to complete their task relatively quickly.