A Very Merry Superhero Wedding (Adventures of Lewis and Clarke)

by Kitty Bucholtz

  Tori laughed and felt the tears roll down her cheeks.

  He wiped them away with his thumbs. “But I’ll wait till June if it would make you happy.”

  Tori shook her head and wrapped her arms around him again. “No, I don’t want to wait. You make me so happy.” She pulled back enough to meet his gaze. “Not just happy, but…” She searched for a word to describe what she felt. “I feel strong when I’m with you. Strong and happy and peaceful and safe. But also, like I could do anything I set my mind to.”

  She tucked her chin down, feeling slightly foolish. She wasn’t in the habit of sharing her deepest feelings with anyone, not even Lexie or Hayley. At least not like this.

  Joe tilted her chin up and kissed her. At first, it was warm and reassuring. As it continued, it became a kiss of promise, and Tori reveled in it. Then it became a longing to end the waiting.

  “Just in case I wasn’t clear,” Tori said when they pulled away, her eyes closed against Joe’s cheek, feeling his heavy breathing in her ear, “I want to marry younow.” She opened her eyes and said with a teasing grin, “But I’m willing to wait till Wednesday, if you are.”

  Joe grinned back at her. “I guess we could do that. Since we all have these nice clothes and everything.”

  Another laugh, another hug, another kiss cut short, and Joe pulled back onto the street.

  Tori sat close to him, absorbing his strength. Together, they could do anything.

  Even stand up to her mother.

  JOE tried not to act nervous as he and Tori walked into her parents’ house. He’d never been particularly uneasy about a girlfriend’s parents in the past. But this was different. He hadn’t met Danny and Dixie Lewis until the day he proposed to their daughter. Now, less than four weeks later, they were about to become a permanent part of his life.

  His mother-in-law-to-be was intimidating, even if she was half his size. She may not have extraordinary powers, but she certainly wasn’t powerless. When she looked at him, Joe felt like she was cataloging all of his strengths and weaknesses, and he wasn’t sure which attributes were which around her. She brought out his best manners, his best posture, and more second-guessing than he’d experienced since he was a teenager.

  Then there was the whole superhero thing. Dixie had made it plain at the first Sunday dinner he’d attended that she didn’t believe in superheroes, thought everyone who professed to be one was mentally unbalanced, and that it was not acceptable subject matter in the Lewis household. Ever. Joe felt pretty confident she’d ban him from their house should the topic come up again.

  Testing the waters, in this case, showed that they were indeed infested with crocodiles.

  Tori’s father, Danny, was much more easy-going. He was friendly and welcoming from the first, discussed Lions football and Red Wings hockey with Joe with enthusiasm, and acted like he genuinely liked Joe. But he’d also displayed that “I’ve been cleaning my shotgun in case I need it” look several times since Joe and Tori announced their engagement.

  Joe had vented about all this to Mickey and Bull a couple weeks ago. Bad idea. Mickey told him he was a fool for getting involved with a girl whose family was so opposed to the idea of superheroes. Some people have unusual gifts — were they opposed to chess prodigies as well? Mickey had been trying harder than anyone, including Tori’s parents, to shut down this wedding. Joe didn’t want to ask why. He might not want to know the answer.

  Bull, ever the supportive friend and a true romantic, leaned heavily in the other direction. He eagerly performed the duties of best man, reminding Joe about expected gifts to the bride and bridal party, urging him to spend the extra money on the honeymoon package, and helping him get his house ready for his new bride. “Love changes everything,” he insisted. It made Joe wonder why Bull and Hayley couldn’t make things work.

  But today was going to be even more difficult than usual. Today Joe had to pretend he hadn’t seen Danny yesterday morning, hadn’t saved him from a pair of armed muggers, and in fact didn’t know anything about it. Would Danny bring it up? Did the family know? Tori hadn’t said anything and he was sure she would have if she had known.

  So probably Danny hadn’t told anyone. Which was good. Joe wouldn’t say anything and the whole situation would be a non-issue.

  Unless Danny started thinking that Joe looked like the guy who helped him. And, darn it, Stretch had given their superhero names. No way to take that back. Granted, only the Paladins and the SLU knew Joe was Superhero X. But Joe already felt under the microscope with this family. And Danny was a lawyer. Didn’t lawyers go around digging up facts? The SLU wouldn’t tell him anything, if he found out about the SLU at all. It wasn’t a secret, but they didn’t advertise their presence.

  Joe took a deep breath as he took off his coat and hung it up. He just had to act normal and no one would be the wiser.

  Everyone called out their greetings, and Joe sank with relief onto the couch beside Kevin. A football game was on — the Lions versus the Bears — and all the men were in the living room. Football was safe. That’s all they’d be talking about today.

  “So, how was your bachelor party last night?” Danny asked.

  Joe stuttered as he tried to decide what to say. What was appropriate to share with the protective father of the bride? Some of his friends had allowed their powers to show a little, but Kevin had been pretty focused on the cheerleader, oblivious to everything else. “It-it was good. Very low-key. Football and food, mostly.” He tried to make it sound like nothing untoward had happened, nothing that would make him look like a bad choice for this man’s daughter.

  Danny raised his eyebrows. “No girls?”

  “Uh, just one and she…” Joe looked to Kevin for help. What had he told his dad?

  Kevin apparently didn’t mind talking about her. “She’s a cheerleader at UNM, Dad. We think we might’ve been in a chemistry lecture together.”

  He told his dad that Teresa was a junior like him, but she was in the Honors College, majoring in international finance.

  Danny turned his focus to his son, listening to him go on and on about the girl, asking him questions and ribbing Kevin about his new crush. Joe all but groaned in relief.

  Then the Lions scored and everyone’s focus returned to the TV. Joe cheered a little too loudly, an outlet for his nervous energy. He had to get hold of himself. Act like it’s a job, an undercover job. Darned if it wasn’t.

  Even after he told Tori, her family would probably never find out. Carl’s in-laws didn’t know. Of course, Carl himself had never gotten a power, and he was quite happy about that. Joe’s next oldest brother Eddie wouldn’t acknowledge his power, and Joe assumed his in-laws didn’t know either.

  Lexie and Ben arrived, and the little boy gave Joe something else to think about. Ben high-fived all the men, then climbed on Joe and used him as a jungle gym. A few more relatives showed up that Joe hadn’t met yet. He was beginning to think he couldn’t wait until Wednesday. The “why are you getting married so quickly?” looks were getting harder to ignore. He wanted to tell everyone, I didnot get her pregnant.

  When Dixie called everyone in to dinner, Joe could hardly believe what happened — all the men got up and filed into the dining room. The Lions were on a third down, two yards from the goal line. In the next sixty seconds, they could score and get ahead for the first time this game. Joe knew Danny and Kevin cared. They’d all been cheering together a moment ago. Wow, Dixie sure held the power in this house.

  Danny left the TV on, but muted the sound. In the dining room, Joe noticed the TV wasn’t visible to anyone from the table. He knew because he walked around the table looking for a seat with a view. This family was so unlike his own.

  Tori took his hand and they sat down next to each other, a cousin on Tori’s side and Grandma Lewis next to Joe.

  Okay, you can do this.

  Danny said grace, and various bowls and platters were passed around. Always to the right, Joe remembered this time. Maybe everyone w
ould talk around him and he could get through the next hour or two by smiling and nodding.

  “So explain to me, dear,” said Grandma Lewis as she patted his hand, “why you feel like you need to get married so quickly.”

  Smiling and nodding probably wasn’t going to work this time.

  Joe’s gaze darted around the table to find everyone listening, waiting for his answer. How could he get out of this quickly and politely? “Chastity,” he finally said. They knew he was a preacher’s kid. It was a good answer.

  Tori choked on a sip of water. Her siblings and cousins all started to laugh, then quickly tried to hide it. Joe wasn’t sure why that answer was funny, but by the strange reactions around the table, he wished he could take it back.

  “We all know how you feel about virgin brides, Grandma,” Lexie said with a cheeky grin. “At least one of your grandchildren is going to follow in your footsteps.”

  Grandma Lewis pursed her lips slightly at the laughter from the young people. Then she leaned around Joe. “Is that right, Tori? You’ll be a virgin bride?”

  Joe glanced down at Tori. He tried to send her a message — sorry, and could they please go home now? Under the table she squeezed his hand, but she didn’t look at him. She leaned over to tell her grandmother, “Only until we get to the hotel, Grandma.”

  “Victoria Joy!” exclaimed Dixie.

  “What?” Tori asked with an innocent smile. “I only have to wait until after the wedding, right? I’m waiting another seven hours after that.”

  “That’s going above and beyond,” one of her cousins said seriously. “Good for you.”

  Dixie sputtered at one end of the table. Joe noticed Danny chewing and trying not to smile at the other end.

  “At least we don’t live in one of those cultures,” Kevin piped up, “where they consummate their vows during the reception with someone watching to make sure they do it right.”

  Dixie spiked her son with a quelling look.

  Joe didn’t look at anyone else, just stabbed a forkful of beans from his plate and chewed, trying to stay out of the line of fire. He wanted to laugh with the younger people, but the older adults weren’t laughing. They mostly seemed irritated.

  In his family, teasing was as natural as breathing, and everyone laughed. But the Lewis family was so serious when they were together. They seemed to be big fans of privacy, apparently thinking you shouldn’t talk about or joke about anything remotely personal. If anyone had a reason to be careful and secretive, it was his superhero family. Didn’t Tori’s family trust each other enough to be relaxed and open when they were together?

  Grandma Lewis patted Joe’s hand again. “Well, then I give you my blessing, young man.”

  Joe desperately wanted to laugh, or at least grin, but he forked a bite of meat into his mouth and nodded to the woman. If he could keep his mouth shut for the rest of the meal, maybe he could keep from adding ammunition to the hundred and one reasons Tori’s family cited for postponing the wedding.

  A few minutes later, when Dixie was engaged in another conversation at her end of the long table, Danny said, “So Joe, you work in security, right?”

  Joe nodded. “Yes, sir.”

  “You’re a security guard?” asked an aunt. “That can’t pay very well.” She sent a pointed look to Tori.

  It wasn’t that far from the truth, Joe supposed. “So to speak, yes, ma’am.” Let her think what she wanted.

  “Does your company do residential work or commercial work?” Danny asked.

  “We do both, though we have more residential customers right now. It depends on the needs of the client.”

  “I see.” Danny nodded. “So do you protect retail stores, strip malls, banks, that sort of thing?”

  Joe stiffened. Did Danny recognize him? Or was he asking strictly from the security angle? “There is another company who nailed down most of the banks a few years ago. I think we might have a strip mall or two, and yes, we do individual retail stores. A little of everything.”

  “Security at the mall is atrocious,” inserted the aunt with a contemptuous sniff. “I hope you’re not a mall security guard.”

  “Joe isn’t a security guard,” Tori said firmly to her aunt. “He works with clients to create a security plan tailored for their needs. He has a dual degree in engineering and computer science. He’s excellent at what he does and makes a fine living. He even owns his own house.”

  Joe stared at his girl with surprise. Apparently, she was a good listener. He barely remembered telling her some of that. He lifted her hand and kissed it.

  She gazed up at him with that gorgeous smile of hers, then she leaned over and kissed his cheek. From what Joe had been able to tell, this was a huge and embarrassing display of public affection in the Lewis house. He felt his heart swell.

  Danny cleared his throat.

  Tori winked at Joe, dropped his hand, and went back to eating. Joe was still staring at her when her father spoke up.

  “So banks have good security?” he asked. He looked a bit skeptical.

  Joe could understand why. “I don’t like to comment on other firms’ work,” he said. “It can be a difficult business, especially this time of year. Every time you upgrade your system, there’s a criminal working on a way to get around it.”

  Danny nodded. “Makes sense.”

  Joe cut a piece of meat and chewed. Should he say any more? If he asked a direct question about the bank, or commented on muggings, it might push Danny to wonder why Joe asked just the right question. On the other hand, it was his job — his calling — to protect people, make them feel safer.

  “If you’re interested, I could take a look at your security system here, see if I have any suggestions for improvements.”

  Danny’s expression cleared a little. “That’d be great. Let’s talk later.”

  Joe nodded. Tori’s family may not have warmed to him any more as a “security guard” than they had to conversations about superheroes. But maybe he could win them over one person at a time.

  Chapter 7

  TORI tried not to be disappointed. Yesterday was the perfect mother-daughter day. Dixie was everything a girl could want — supportive, loving, laughing and smiling with everyone at both the dress fitting and the shower.

  Today, well, it almost seemed as if her mother needed to make up for yesterday. As if, for one day, she had forgotten how much she didn’t want Tori to get married and be happy. Might she be so worried about appearances that she would pretend to be supportive in front of Joe’s family? That didn’t even make sense since his family would be happier if they moved back the date, too.

  “Flo is right, you know,” Dixie said in the kitchen after dinner. “We need to know if he makes enough money to support you. I don’t know why I never asked before.”

  “Probably because it’s none of your business,” Tori said, scraping bits of food off plates into the trash. She wished she were a boy child so she could go hide in the living room and pretend to be excited about football. She couldn’t remember Kevin ever having to help in the kitchen when they had company.

  “It is their business,” Aunt Flo interjected, taking the plates from Tori and loading the dishwasher. “They don’t want to be supporting you years from now like George and I are with Jessie and her husband.”

  Tori prayed for patience. She would not play this game with them, especially with Joe right here in the house. And at Christmas! She ground her teeth to keep her mouth closed.

  “That’s so true,” Dixie agreed with her sister. “And you don’t want to turn out like Lexie, either,” she added.

  “Mom!” Tori looked through the kitchen door to make sure Lexie wasn’t within earshot. “That’s mean.”

  “But true,” Aunt Flo said, shaking her head. “Two babies, one taken away, no husband.” She made a tsk-tsk sound. “Your mother says that you said you aren’t pregnant, but if you are, you definitelyshould get married this week. You can always get divorced after the baby is born. Th
at way you won’t shame your parents.”

  Tori wondered why Christmas was advertised as this beautiful, loving time of year when everyone put their issues on hold for a day. That had never been her experience. Since Aunt Flo and her family only visited at Christmas and during the summer festival season, those seemed to be the times when all the gossiping and nastiness came to the center.

  Now that she was getting married, Tori decided she would be away on vacation during Aunt Flo’s visits.

  “There are too many things you don’t know about him, Tori,” said Aunt Flo. “And I’m not talking about does he snore, though that will definitely impact your future happiness. I’m talking about things like does he have a retirement plan, how does he vote, does he buy expensive man-toys without asking. A couple of weeks is not enough time to know if you’ll be compatible, let alone if he can support you in the manner you deserve.”

  Be quiet. Don’t speak. Think about something pleasant…like the plane that will take you away from this family in three days.

  “See? You don’t know, do you?” Aunt Flo nodded. “And what about his relatives? What do you know about them? When you marry a man, you marry his whole crazy family as well. You’re going to have problems. Mark my words.”

  Tori shot her mother a glare —make her stop or else. Dixie didn’t seem so bad when compared to her sister. Tori should be grateful for that small favor.

  “You can never fully know another human being,” Dixie said, “no matter how long you know them. And part of the fun of a good relationship is getting to know them and all their idiosyncrasies. But you can do that while you’re dating. That’s what dating is for.”

  “Okay, I think the table is clear,” Tori said, changing the subject. “Shall I find out who wants coffee?” She left before anyone answered.

  In the living room, everyone was watching the Lions with varying degrees of excitement. Sam was only half-watching as she texted someone. One of their cousins read a book on her tablet.

  “Who wants coffee?” Tori called out, then counted hands.