A Very Merry Superhero Wedding (Adventures of Lewis and Clarke)

by Kitty Bucholtz

  They met Hayley and Bull at the entrance, and the four of them made their first stop at Starbucks. Joe ordered Tori’s hot chocolate exactly as she liked it, right down to the size she always chose. She smiled and wondered why people were so convinced they didn’t know enough about each other to get married.

  “Wipe that goofy look off your face before you embarrass us all,” Hayley whispered in her ear.

  Tori turned to her and grinned. They linked arms and walked over to where others were waiting for their drinks. “I’m so in love!” The words came out in a singsong whisper.

  Hayley chuckled with her. “You’re such a goofball. Listen, I have an idea. You know how we’re going to split up after lunch, and you and I will get mani-pedi’s while they do heaven knows what?”

  Tori nodded.

  “I saw a sign when we walked in that Victoria’s Secret is having a sale. Let’s go there after, okay?”

  “Ooo,” Tori clapped her hands twice, “yes, let’s!” Hayley would probably buy something red or black like she always did. Those colors complemented her thick dark hair and creamy skin. Tori would have to walk past the cute flannel loungewear and buy something — gasp! — with lace. She could hardly wait.

  The four of them spent the next couple hours shopping and laughing. Joe asked her and Hayley’s opinions on gifts for his sisters and nieces. Bull bought Hayley a red scarf with a green ivy pattern. Tori noticed a soft look pass between them. So sweet.

  She couldn’t remember the last time she had so much fun. The mall looked so beautiful draped in green and gold garlands with white candles and red bows. Lively Christmas music filled the air along with the smell of pretzels, cookies, chocolate — when they walked past the chocolatier — and scented candles. Tori wanted to look and taste and smell and buy a little of everything.

  They shopped and talked and walked and laughed until they were hungry. Bull and Joe offered to take all the bags to their trucks while Tori and Hayley waited for a table to open up in the food court. The delicious aromas of pizza and Chinese food made Tori’s stomach rumble.

  They’d been waiting about ten minutes when her cell phone rang — Joe. Tori smiled and hit the talk button, noticing that Hayley’s phone rang at the same time.

  “You guys having a snowball fight or something?” she said. “The womenfolk are getting hungry.”

  “Tori, honey,” Joe’s voice was serious, “listen to me. The gang of thieves is back. I want you to stay in the mall, all right?”

  “What? Well, wait, what are you going to do?” Tori stumbled over her words. Joe was outside with the gang of thieves? They were dangerous. He shouldn’t be out there.

  “Bull and I are going to try to help catch them,” Joe said. “The police will be here any minute. Mall security is already—”

  “Joe, no, you could get hurt! Come back inside and let the police take care of—”

  “Listen,” Joe interrupted. “Honey, listen, this is my job. You know that.”

  She bit her lip. Sure, but not the day before their wedding. What if he got hurt? He was big and strong, but it’s not like he could stop a bullet. “But you don’t work here,” she protested. What if those men had guns? The reports all said they didn’t, but what if they were getting bolder since they hadn’t been caught?

  “Do you want me to let other people get hurt?” Joe waited for her to answer.

  “No,” she finally said. If anyone could take down one or two of these thieves, it was Joe. And Bull was even bigger. So long as they stayed together, they could watch each other’s backs.

  “Do you trust me?”

  “Yes.” She didn’t have to think about it. “I trust you.”

  “Then I’m going to help out here, and you finish up in there. Bull and I know what we’re doing, we’ll be fine.” His voice was quick, tense, confident, and — for some strange reason — it gave her strength.

  “Stay with Hayley,” he continued. “She has keys to Bull’s truck. We may be awhile if we have to make a police report. I’ll see you tonight at church, okay?”

  She took a deep breath. This was the first time she’d been with him when there’d been a situation he had to rush off to help with. It felt strange.

  But she believed him when he said he could handle it. “Be safe,” she said. “I love you.”

  After she hung up, she looked over at Hayley. Her friend spoke quietly into her phone, glanced up at Tori and nodded, and a moment later hung up.

  “Soo…” Tori said. “This is a new experience for me. Happen often?”

  Hayley shrugged. “Yeah.” She put her arm around Tori and gave her a hug. “Don’t worry, Tori. They know what they’re doing. No one has ever hurt them. If you’re going to worry about someone, worry about the punks who are about to get their asses kicked.” She grinned.

  Tori gave a little laugh. “Okay, I guess I’m following your lead.”

  What an unusual twist her life had taken. On the one hand, the current situation was a shock and she didn’t know how to respond. On the other hand, it didn’t surprise her one bit that if she were going to fall in love, it would be with a man who was a protector.

  What did he say he was — six-five? Joe was huge, and the strongest man she’d ever met. She doubted he’d get into it with anyone near his size.

  Nonetheless, she prayed,God, please keep him safe.

  JOE hung up the phone with Tori, then spoke to Hayley for a moment on Bull’s phone. “Stay inside. Don’t let her out of your sight. No, Mickey will be here soon. We’ll be okay without you. Enjoy your foot massage.” He laughed at Hayley’s response and hung up.

  Bull flexed his shoulders. “I was tired of shopping anyway.”

  Joe grinned. “Same here. So how do you want to handle this?” He pulled his warm knit cap out of a pocket and pulled it on.

  “Thorn in the side until backup arrives?” Bull pulled his hat on as well.

  “Love it.”

  The two men split up, keeping their eyes on the men and vehicles that had caught their attention a few minutes earlier. The SLU had briefed the teams with what information the police had been able to gather from past victims and witnesses.

  The two- and three-man teams included a point man who would walk the parking lot looking like he was heading to his car or like he’d forgotten where he parked. He’d try to cross paths with someone with a lot of bags opening their car door or trunk. If the catch looked good, he’d grab all the bags while the second man pulled up in the getaway car. They’d load the car and take off, sometimes picking up the haul from a second point man.

  Descriptions of the vehicles varied, so police figured they drove off-site to unload and came back with a different car. It seemed that each team tried to make two to three runs before they quit for the day.

  Joe had spotted the first man while taking his and Tori’s bags to his truck. The man’s gaze darted around, always coming back to face forward as he walked toward the far end of the lot. But the man was noticing people, not cars, and not people goingin the mall.

  Joe walked back up to where Bull had found a parking space closer to the mall entrance, told him what he’d seen, and Bull pointed to a car two aisles away. Dirty nondescript sedan, dark windows, looking like it was waiting for a space to open up.

  Now the two of them started walking, Joe toward the man he’d seen, Bull toward the idling car.

  Joe didn’t want to scare the guys off, not with backup on the way. He wanted to surround and catch them, take down the whole team. But he also wanted to keep the locals from getting hurt or robbed.

  A woman with more bags than she could easily carry exited the mall and walked down the aisle to Joe’s left. Joe looked for the man he’d seen earlier. There. And on a collision course with the woman.

  Joe walked toward them, trying to guess where the woman was headed. The green Explorer? No. The red Honda? Maybe. No. Just as she slowed near a white Mercedes, the handle of one of the bags ripped. The other man started jogging toward
her.

  Closer by a couple car lengths, Joe arrived first. Trying not to scare her, he said quietly, “Ma’am, get in your car.”

  She looked up, still struggling with her packages. “I don’t need any help, thank you.” She tried to get everything back in her hands.

  The other man jogged up. “Let me help you with those,” he said in a smooth, honeyed voice.

  Joe stepped between them. “I don’t think so. Ma’am, get in your car, please.”

  “OMG! OMG! You’re the robbers!” She struggled frantically with her bags causing another one to rip open. “Leave me alone!”

  While Joe was processing the fact that the young woman actually spoke in acronyms, the other man stepped around him. In a reassuring voice, he said, “Don’t worry, I’m part of the community watch. We’re patrolling the parking lots to make sure no one gets hurt. Is this man bothering you?”

  “Yes!” The woman shouted. “Help me!”

  The man reached for her bags and grabbed one before Joe lifted him off his feet.

  “Give it back to her,” Joe commanded.

  The man’s eyes widened in alarm as Joe lifted him over his head. Joe gave him a shake, but the guy didn’t drop the bag. He turned at the sound of a car’s engine.

  The car Bull was tracking pulled up, but Bull wasn’t in sight. The driver slid out and grabbed several of the young woman’s bags. She screamed and pulled. The bags ripped open, littering the snow with gaily wrapped gifts. The driver started grabbing and tossing.

  Just as Joe reached for the driver, the first man kicked at his groin. Joe groaned and twisted, grateful it hadn’t been a direct hit. He let the guy drop, hoping he’d get the breath knocked out of him. He reached for the driver, but the young woman started hitting him with her purse.

  “Lady,get in your car!” He was tempted to let her get robbed. He hadn’t experienced this kind of abuse in months.

  The driver threw another bag in the front seat. As he reached for another, Joe clotheslined him. Wham! And down. He grabbed the keys from the ignition and tossed them a few car lengths away.

  The other man began to stir, crawling toward the car. Joe picked him up, opened the rear door and tossed him in. Then he tossed the driver into the front seat and slammed the door.

  Keeping his back to the screamer still whacking him with her purse — what did she have in there? — Joe placed his hands on the doorframes and focused. Then he squeezed. The metal crumpled in his hands like aluminum foil. With one hand firmly on the metal of the car, he hit his other fist into the door handles, then went around and did the same on the other side.

  The perps weren’t going anywhere. Neither the doors nor the windows were going to open now.

  He turned to the woman who followed him around to the other side of the car, still screaming and trying to hit him with her purse. “Call the police,” he told her. “Tell them exactly where you’re located and wait for them here. They’ll get your packages back.”

  Not waiting for a thank-you he knew would never come, Joe took off across the parking lot. Without his costume, the police wouldn’t know who he was. And he wanted to protect his real identity as much as he could from any officers not in the SLU.

  He jogged to another section of the huge parking lot, his lungs burning a little in the cold air. He looked around for Bull, or anyone who looked like they were getting robbed.

  A minute later he thought he saw Bull several aisles away. Joe jogged closer. Then he laughed. Bull was helping a little old lady into her ancient Cadillac. Joe watched him wait until she was buckled in, then he closed the door gently. He used his gloved hand to wipe the snow from all the windows and taillights. Then he stood out in the aisle, held up one hand to an oncoming car, and used his other hand to motion the woman to back up.

  When she was safely out, she pulled up so the other car could have her space, then she rolled down her window. She spoke to Bull for a moment, he laughed, and she pulled away.

  Joe walked up as Bull was waving goodbye. “What is it with you and kids and old people?” he asked, shaking his head. “A young woman in a Mercedes was beating me with her purse while the thief kicked me in the jewels.”

  A laugh burst out of Bull’s throat. “Oh man, you all right?”

  “I would’ve been better if I’d been holding onto the metal car,” Joe said wryly.

  “Aw, buddy, you and Mickey gotta keep working on those titanium-lined gloves.”

  Joe grunted and nodded. They walked down the aisle, looking for more thugs. “How do you keep yourself safe? Don’t tell me no one’s ever kicked you there?”

  “Cup,” Bull said.

  Joe raised his eyebrows. “Every day? Even when we’re not officially working?”

  Bull snorted. “At Christmas, we’re always working, aren’t we? And it’s not so bad, you get used to it.”

  “Better than the alternative, I guess,” Joe said, stepping sideways and trying to rub his thigh unobtrusively.

  It only took them a few minutes to find the next team. By the time they ran over and tried to stop them, both thieves had already gotten in the car. The sedan slipped and slid as the driver hit the gas.

  “Light pole,” Bull called and pointed.

  Joe nodded and they both ran as fast as they could, angling to intersect with the car near the end of the aisle. Both men slammed into the sedan as the driver tried to turn onto the outer drive.

  The car slid sideways. Joe and Bull hung on as it spun from the force of the collision. Near the light pole, they both sank their feet into the packed snow and pushed. The angle was perfect — the car smashed into the light pole nose first. The engine clunked and clicked and died.

  The two men made short work of sealing the two thugs inside. They high-fived. Joe enjoyed his work most of the time, but it was particularly fun when they were winning. The adrenaline rush wasn’t bad either.

  In the distance, a police car headed their way around the outer drive. Both men pulled their hats down and walked nonchalantly toward the closest mall entrance.

  “That’s two,” Bull said. “How many more do you think there are?”

  Joe shrugged. “At least one more, I’d say. Let’s call Tick Tock, see if he’s here.” He pulled out his cell phone and hit the speed dial for “Pizza Delivery,” which was really the communication system in their super suits.

  “Tick Tock, it’s X and Powerhouse. You at the mall yet?” Joe nodded and shut the phone. “The entrance where the carousel is,” he told Bull. “What’s the closest way to get there?”

  “Behind us, where the cops are,” said Bull. Then he looked around to orient himself. “But if we go through the department store here, we can cut through the mall.”

  The men rushed in, taking off their coats and hats as if they were regular shoppers. They took ground-eating but unhurried-looking strides through the women’s wear and cosmetics sections, across the mall to the carousel going round and round with its music and horses, and back out to the parking lot.

  Upon exiting, both men once again donned their winter outerwear to walk unnoticed amongst the mall’s patrons. It only took a moment for them to find Tick Tock. He stood in his suit in front of another dirty older sedan, fighting with another man. As Joe and Bull jogged up, Joe noticed the engine making an awful noise. Tick Tock could use his gift to destroy machinery as easily as to create or repair it.

  Bull picked up the man taking a swing at Tick Tock. Joe ran toward another man sneaking up behind the superhero. He tackled him, punched him once in the jaw, and left him knocked cold in the snow.

  Joe dusted the snow off his knees and grinned at his friends. “What a day, huh?”

  “Behind you!” Bull ran forward as Joe turned.

  Another sedan sped toward them down the aisle. The three men worked together to stop the car before it ran over people, including themselves.

  Joe and Bull ran toward the car, giving themselves space to slow it down before it hit the barely idling car directly behi
nd them. Off to the side, Tick Tock threw his arm out toward the moving vehicle and focused.

  The engine began rattling before the car got to Joe and Bull. The acceleration had dropped off, but it still hit the men with force.

  Not as much force as Bull hit the car, though. Joe threw both hands onto the metal hood, felt the cold, hard energy rush through his body, and let his feet slide on the snow for a few yards. Then he and Bull both pressed their feet more solidly against the snow-packed asphalt.

  The ragged sound coming from the engine gave Joe confidence they’d stop the car without any problem. Then he looked behind him. They were still closing in too fast on the car Tick Tock had disabled.

  He reached one hand behind him, turning his body sideways. Bull saw him and imitated his movements. Tick Tock shouted to the shoppers walking down the aisle toward them. One teenage girl was talking on her phone and not paying any attention.

  Joe and Bull braced for impact. Tick Tock ran toward the girl.

  Bam!

  Joe felt his teeth clatter together as the bone-jarring impact rippled through his body. But his power protected him, and he didn’t get pinned between the vehicles. The cars slid several yards on the snowpack before he and Bull stopped them.

  Joe looked up to make sure all the pedestrians were safe. He saw Tick Tock with the shocked teenager between two parked cars. He turned to trap the passenger into the car the way he had the others.

  Thwack!

  Joe heard a loud crack and felt a blazing pain burst from his hip down his leg.

  He hit the ground hard, remembering at the last moment how to land without hurting himself more. He realized his eyes were closed against the pain. Training and instinct pushed him to open them, looking for his attacker to strike again.

  A lug wrench swung inches from his face when Joe reached out with both hands and gripped it hard.

  A battle cry burst forth as his body reacted to the steel against his hands. He felt his muscles instantly gain strength equal to the metal, felt his skin tighten, and the pain in his leg lessen.

  Joe jerked the lug wrench to the left, pulling his attacker off his feet. He rolled on top of him and pressed the X-shaped bar against the other man’s chest. With the intense pain in his hip and leg, it was all he could do to remember not to press down so hard that he might break the man’s ribs.