The Perfect Illusion

by Winter Renshaw

  She’s laughing, nodding. Her head tilts and her fingers trace the rim of her mug. There’s something relaxed about her, genuinely happy.

  Liquid heat scorches through my veins and my jaw clenches.

  He’s probably some old high school boyfriend who suddenly feels the need to sweep her off her feet and be her knight in shining armor now that she’s back in town.

  I refuse to allow this.

  Before I’ve had a chance to calm down or rationally talk myself out of it, I’m blazing through the front door of the shop and charging at the two of them.

  “Who the hell is this?” I ask when I approach, like I have any right to that answer.

  Her cheerful expression fades into a scowl and she rises. “Hudson, what are you doing?”

  The man across from her turns to face me, but it isn’t some high school boyfriend or local idiot asshole.

  “Alec?” I ask, glaring.

  “Hudson.” He stands, smiling and leaning in to give me a hug. He’s happy to see me, but he doesn’t get it. Retracting his reach, he takes a seat again. I can’t look at him. Seeing how happy Mari was with him makes me want to knock his fucking block off, and I’ve never hit a man in my life. It’s not my style. “Whoa. Wasn’t expecting to see you here. You two back together?”

  “No,” Mari informs him immediately. “We’re not. He bought a house here. In my hometown.” She emphasizes the last bit of detail as if it fucking matters at this point.

  My vision blurs as it passes between the two of them, and for a moment, I think about Audrina and how she’d been screwing my best friend behind my back for months and I hadn’t the slightest idea.

  I know Mari’s not mine—at least not any more, but the idea of her and Alec hitting it off … the idea that she might want him over me … fucking kills me.

  “Alec came so we could discuss our future,” Mari says.

  “Your future?” I ask, teeth gritting. A couple of weeks ago, he was telling her to get rid of the baby because he didn’t want to be a father.

  “The future as it pertains to our situation,” she clarifies.

  “What, now you want to be some fucking stand up guy?” I spit my words at him. “Now you want to come in and save the day?”

  “Hudson, what’s this about?” Alec scratches at his temple. “I’m doing the right thing. I’m doing what you told me to do. I mean, I’m doing it because I want to, but I thought about what you said.” I feel Mari’s stare land on me, but my glare is locked on him. “I’m going to take care of her. Of the baby. That upsets you, why?”

  Because I wanted to be there for her.

  Because maybe deep down, a small part of me wishes it were my baby she was carrying.

  The two of them will forever have this connection, and she deserves better.

  No doubt Alec has good intentions, but I’ve known him my entire life. He’s all talk and no follow-through. I can only hope it’ll be different now that his unborn child is involved.

  Turning to Mari, I see the hope in her eyes, the relief in her demeanor. I don’t want to take that away from her.

  “Forget it.” My shoulders tighten, and I check my watch. I need to grab lunch and get back to the house. The demo crew tore down the old plaster walls last week, and I’ve got an electrical crew coming at one-thirty to get started on bringing everything to code.

  I leave.

  I walk away, leaving Mari in Alec’s hands.

  It fucking kills me, and if he so much as lets her down once, I’m going to kill him.

  Chapter 41

  Mari

  “Do you need a place to stay while you’re in town, Alec?” My mother pours him a cup of Folgers coffee. “You’re welcome to stay with us or we can make some hotel recommendations. There’s a Super 8 just off the highway that’s been recently remodeled. I hear good things. Has a pool and a fitness center.”

  “Mom, he’s fine.” I chuckle. She’s going overboard with the hospitality today, treating Alec like the visiting King of England.

  “So, Alec, you’re a marketing guy?” Dad asks, crossing his legs wide at the head of the table. “You come up with any jingles or anything like that?”

  Alec fights a smile, shaking his head. “I do online marketing. Social media presence. Brand building. Search-engine optimization. That sort of thing.”

  “I’ve been thinking about getting one of this Insta-macallits for my company. I’ve got a Facebook page. Think we’ve got about three hundred likes so far? I don’t post anything on there. I wouldn’t even know what to say.” Dad takes a sip of the coffee Mom places in front of him. “What do you say? I’ve never understood those websites anyway. Who cares what I ate for breakfast or what movie I saw last night. Why does everyone need to tell everyone what they’re doing all the damn time?”

  Alec laughs. “It’s a bit more complex than that. If we had more time, I’d outline a quick strategy for you. Maybe once I get back to Hong Kong I can send you some notes?”

  “Yeah. I’d like that.” Dad nods.

  Mom takes a seat next to Alec, resting her chin in her hand as she stares at him. I can tell he notices, but he’s trying to be polite. I’d kick her under the table if I could. She needs to stop.

  “I wonder whose eyes the baby will have,” Mom muses out loud. “Alec, you have dimples, right?”

  “Mom.” I clear my throat.

  “I’m sorry. I’m just excited. Didn’t think I’d get to be a grandma so young,” she says. “How do your parents feel about this? Will this be their first?”

  Alec nods. “Yeah, we haven’t really discussed it yet. They know about it. Thanks to my sister. But we haven’t had a chance to really sit down.”

  My dad frowns. “Oh?”

  “So you’re working in Hong Kong,” Mom says. “What are you going to do if she goes into labor?”

  He glances at me. “I plan to come back to the States by the time Mari gets close to her due date. We’ll figure it out. I’ll be there no matter what.”

  Checking his phone, he takes a generous sip of his coffee before standing.

  “I hate to cut out of here already, but I’ve got a flight out of Omaha back to New York in a few hours, then I’m catching a red-eye back to Hong Kong.” Alec places his phone back in his pocket.

  My father rises before walking closer and extending a hand. “This situation may not be ideal, Alec, but I appreciate you stepping up to do the right thing.”

  Alec gives him a tight-lipped nod. “Of course. Was a bit of a shock to me, but a good friend kind of put things into perspective for me, and I knew I couldn’t leave Mari like that.”

  “I’ll show you out.” I get up from the table, heading toward the front door as my mom wraps Alec in a warm hug.

  Once we’re outside, he climbs into his car, and I stand outside the driver’s window.

  “Thanks again,” I say.

  We spent all day together, trying to figure out the logistics of this entire thing. He says if I wanted to move back to the city, he’d ensure I had a comfortable apartment and that our child would attend the best schools. But with as much as Alec travels, I think I should stay here and raise the baby in Nebraska, where my family can help. He vowed to help me either way.

  He also vowed to spend as much time with the baby as possible when he’s stateside.

  I hope he wasn’t just telling me what I wanted to hear, but for now, I have every reason to believe he meant what he said.

  “Hey, Alec …” I lean into his window. I hate that I’m about to ask this, but I have to know. “What did Hudson say to you that made you change your mind?”

  He leans back in his seat, staring straight ahead at my parents’ garage door and the old basketball hoop attached at the top.

  He exhales. “It was more in the delivery than the actual message.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I’ve known Hudson my entire life, and when I told him about how I didn’t want to be a father and how I wanted you to ge
t rid of it, I’d never seen him so angry. He told me to do the right thing,” he says. “And there was this fire in his eyes like I’ve never seen. He said I only had one chance to do the right thing. Those words really resonated with me after that. This baby’s coming into the world, and it’s only going to be born once. If I miss that or birthdays or anything else, there’s no going back.”

  “When did he say this to you?”

  He turns to me. “A few hours after you left Sea La Vie.”

  I rise, taken aback.

  So this man was furious with me for hiding the pregnancy … but he still had it in him to make damn sure Alec knew he should do the right thing?

  “Hudson loves you, Mari,” Alec says, nodding. “I’ve never seen him care that much about anyone. Not even my sister.” He starts his engine. “Anyway, I hope you guys can work things out. It’d be a shame if you couldn’t. You guys seemed really happy back in Montauk. Like, genuinely happy.”

  Stepping away from the car, I give him a wave and watch as he pulls out of the drive.

  Heading back in, I slip on my sneakers and tell my parents I’m taking a walk. It’s dusk now, the sun just dipping under the horizon, and in the distance, the lights are on at the Frank Lloyd Wright house.

  I don’t know what I’m going to say when I get there, but something is compelling me, pulling me in that direction.

  Seeing Hudson so jealous at the coffee shop earlier and hearing how he defended me when he didn’t have to … it changes things.

  I wanted to be done with him.

  I wanted to cut my losses and move on.

  But I don’t think I could if I tried. And god have I tried.

  Five minutes later, I’m a couple of houses down from his, my heart racing a thousand beats per second.

  There’s a white Mercedes in his driveway, and upon closer inspection, I spot two shadows in the front window by the door. They’re standing close together, nodding and probably chatting. It’s a woman, her hourglass curves exceedingly obvious by the shadow her body makes against the glass.

  She reaches for his shoulder, then his face. Touching him. Standing closer, closer still.

  A moment later, the door opens and a gorgeous platinum blonde bombshell steps out, giving him a tiny wave with her fingertips before her cherry lips spread into a sex kitten smirk. I watch as she brushes her hair from her face, wearing the smile of a woman who’s stumbled across a man who makes her feel alive again.

  I know that smile.

  I know that feeling.

  Hudson stands in the doorway, watching her leave, and she struts down the concrete steps and paved sidewalk to her waiting car, her hips swinging with each step. Once she’s gone, he disappears inside.

  Hours ago he was flying into a jealous rage at the sight of me having coffee with Alec, but it seems as though he wasted no time finding a pretty little thing to ease his pain.

  The vision of him watching her walk away is what kills me.

  And here I thought Hudson had changed.

  This was a bad idea, and for that reason, I’m going home.

  Chapter 42

  Hudson

  Alexa Lowell’s headlights flick on, lighting up the living room of the house as I shut the front door. A stack of listings rest on a nearby saw horse. She stopped by tonight because she found a whole bevy of Orchard Hill homes all in desperate need or renovating.

  When I told her I wasn’t interested, that the FLW home was a one-and-done type of venture for me, she seemed discouraged but not dissuaded.

  I walked her to the door, but she lingered, telling me all about Orchard Hill and how there’s this little restaurant made out of an old train depot south of the square that she’d love to take me to sometime.

  Her treat.

  She then proceeded to brush lint off my shoulder—any excuse she could find to touch me.

  This woman had no finesse. She may have been beautiful, but she was as clear as cellophane.

  And most importantly, she’s not Mari.

  When Alexa finally left, I stood on the front steps, watching her navigate the jagged, broken concrete in those sky high fuck-me heels she wore to my construction zone. I know an opportunist when I see one, and the last thing I need is some small-town real estate agent breaking her neck on my sidewalk. A woman like that would waste no time calling her attorney on speed dial and ensuring the lawsuit is filed the very next day.

  Locking the front door, I exhale. This place is coming along nicely. Electricians and plumbers will be working around the clock the next few days and the dry wall crew and roofers should be here early next week. After that, I’ll focus on the interior finishes, keeping everything in line with the original FLW design elements, and with any luck, this thing will be restored to her original glory and I’ll be on my way.

  I thought about keeping this house, but that would be pointless.

  I have no business being here in Orchard Hill.

  Mari made it perfectly clear she doesn’t want to be with me.

  She’s moving on.

  And I should do the same.

  Chapter 43

  Mari

  There’s something soothing about the feel of cool dirt between my fingers. Before plucking a small white petunia from its container, I dig a small hole with my hand trowel. Mom sprained her wrist last night at bowling but Dad had already purchased a hundred dollars’ worth of petunias, impatiens, hostas, and marigolds, so I told her I’d handle it.

  It’s win-win anyway.

  There’s only so much Wheel of Fortune watching and coffee shop shifts I can distract myself with before my mind circles back to the inevitable.

  Him.

  “Mari.”

  Dusting the dirt from my hands, I turn toward the familiar voice, quelling the simultaneous swell of butterflies and swirl of tension in my stomach.

  “Hudson,” I say, pushing myself up from the grassy patch of yard beneath the old maple tree I used to climb as a child.

  He’s dressed for a jog and judging by the thin sheen of sweat gracing his muscled upper body, I’m not the first stop on his route.

  “Just came by to tell you my accountant is making a deposit on Monday,” he says, hands hooked on his hips. My eyes fall to the muscled V pointing toward his shorts before meeting his gaze.

  “For what?”

  “It’s a pro-rated amount,” he says. “I’m paying you for the month of work you did.”

  “I thought the contract said if I didn’t finish the agreement in full, I wouldn’t be paid at all?”

  “It does say that,” he says. “But I didn’t feel it was a fair deal for you, Mari. I just want to do the right thing.”

  “It’s not necessary.” I stand up straight. “I don’t need a handout.”

  “I employed you,” he says, his voice holding that chilled quality I once knew so well. Only Hudson could be so cold and so generous at the same time. “You should be compensated.”

  We stand in quietude, or maybe it’s an emotional impasse.

  I half expect him to offer one last apology before he goes, one final try to get something out of me. But he says nothing, he simply studies my face before eyeing the distance toward his house.

  “Goodbye, Mari.” He heads back to the sidewalk, but I’d feel remiss if I didn’t tell him that I think about him all the time, even when I don’t want to.

  “I have this rubber band,” I say, calling after him.

  He stops, his hands on his hips as he turns to me with twisted brows.

  “I wear it on my wrist sometimes, and every time I think of you, I snap it,” I say, giving an earnest chuckle. “I thought I could condition myself not to think about you as much, but all it does is leave welts and the second they’re gone, you’re back in my mind again.”

  I expect him to come closer to me, but he stays, feet planted on the chipped sidewalk. It hurts more than I thought it would, feeling the sting of emotional and physical distance as it lingers between us.

 
“The worst is when I’m lying in bed at night,” I say, “tossing and turning and thinking about you. About us. I play all these scenarios in my head, asking ‘what if, what if, what if.’ And then knowing you’re right up the street?”

  I shake my head.

  “I hate it. I hate that I want you. I hate that I want to be with you when all you’ve done so far is hurt me and prove that you’re probably going to hurt me again,” I say, feeling the sting of tears rim my eyes. “But I thought you should know. I’m guessing I’m not going to see you again after this, and I wanted to say it when I had the chance.”

  He’s quiet, watching me with an unmoving stance.

  “You left a mark on me.” I place my hand over my heart. “Good or bad, it’s there. And it’s going to be there forever. And I don’t quite know what to do with that yet, but I guess I’ll figure it out one of these days.”

  Hudson lifts his hand to his face, rubbing his eyes before pinching the bridge of his nose and breathing out.

  A weight anchors my chest as a rush of emotions flood to my surface. A cry builds. I blink away a single tear because I refuse to cry in front of him.

  “I liked you a lot,” he says, breaking his silence.

  His use of past tense breaks my heart, but I’m not sure what I expected. He came back for me, and I let him go. Many, many times. A candle doesn’t reignite after you’ve blown it out.

  Hudson takes elongated strides toward me, his lips flat as his face grows somber. I brace myself for the worst, for the conversation I knew would need to happen sooner or later.

  We did this to ourselves. We were careless, frivolous with our emotions. Too generous with our hearts when we had no business doing so. It’s no wonder we wound up in a free-fall, spiraling back down to the earth only to crash and burn.

  You can’t come back from that.

  “But then I realized it was turning into something more,” he says. “That last night we spent together, Mari, something changed. I realized I was falling in love with you. I didn’t want to believe it at first because it was happening so fast. I didn’t think it was possible actually.” He glances away, pausing. “But the next day, when you came to me with your news, I’d never felt so upset because I knew this was going to change things. Not only did you lie to me in a roundabout way, but knowing you had a piece of Alec inside you, a connection with him that you were never going to have with me … that’s what hurt the most. And that’s when I knew. That’s when I knew I was falling in love with you.” He pulls in a deep breath. “I love you, Mari.”