Everything After

by Melissa Toppen

  “Okay.” He continues, throwing me a nod. “Now, you have tonight to lay down the finishing touches on Fragments before we wrap up here. Please guys, let's get this done.” Sean looks around at each one of us individually, ensuring we all hear him and that we are all on board.

  “You got it Suit.” Gabe says, pushing away from the table. “Killian, let's head in and see if we can figure out the melody before we have Chet lay down the final drum beats.”

  “Sounds good to me.” I say, pushing up off of the couch, grabbing another handful of Cheetos as I do. “For the road.” I look back at Chet just in time to see him look inside his chip bag and then flip me his middle finger.

  “Man, you owe me a bag of Cheetos.” He jokes.

  “Yeah well get in line. Pretty sure he owes me his entire cut of the tour profits for keeping his whore's bar tabs paid.” Aiden says quietly, clearly expecting no one to hear him.

  Knowing Aiden, I know that his issue isn't with the money. We practically throw our money in a pot anyways and just spend as we need. Not that we have made any real money up to this point. I've been told that comes later. Good thing none of us are in this to get rich, otherwise we would be highly disappointed.

  No, Aiden's problem is the women. He isn't much of a ladies man. Being too shy for his own damn good, he tends to hide in the corner and watch the rest of us live it up. It's not for a lack of trying on my part. We have all tried to hook him up on countless occasions. But Aiden has never been one for random hookups. He has to get to know a person enough to feel comfortable with them in order to fuck them. Sucks to be him.

  “You heard the man.” I turn back to Chet. “Get in line asshole.” I laugh, closing the studio door, the joking and playful banter being immediately left in the lounge room.

  In here, it's business. I can joke and fuck around with the best of them but when it's time to work, I work. Well, when it comes to recording and performing anyways. I tend to zone out for the all the other bullshit.

  Settling into my place in front of the mic, I strap my Fender around my shoulder and wait for Gabe to get situated. I listen as he strums out a few chords before joining in behind him, letting the music find its place among the chaos of noise. I hum around the words, trying to feel out the perfect placement for the last chorus.

  When we feel like we finally have it down, we have Pete set it up and direct us from the outside, along with Sean. I manage to finalize my parts within an hour but stick around to hear the final product once all the guys have laid down their sections.

  Watching the music come to life right in front of my eyes is a thing of fucking beauty. This tiny idea, a lyric, a note that just turns into something else entirely. We breathe life into, we nurture it, and then, like a child, we release it out into the world and watch it soar.

  Everything After

  Fragments

  Take the time to realize

  what arches deep in the brain

  The tiny little fragments

  that drive a soul insane

  Chapter Four

  Nora

  It feels like only seconds pass between the time I fall asleep and the time the phone on the bedside table jerks me back awake. Fumbling in the darkness, I finally locate the receiver and after knocking almost everything off of the table, I manage to get it to my ear.

  “Hello.” I croak, confused and still fairly certain I am ninety percent asleep.

  “Nora, it's Sean. Sorry to call you so early. I realized I failed to get your cell number from you yesterday. Were you still sleeping?” Sean rambles, his words getting a little lost in my still foggy mind.

  “Um, no.” I mumble out, peeling one eye open to locate the clock next to me.

  Just after six in the morning. Awesome. I have been asleep a whopping three hours. Which means my first day on the job I am going to be a walking zombie. Perfect.

  “Listen, the band has a radio interview this morning with 106 Rock. Originally I wasn't planning on including you but seeing how this is the kick off for their tour, I thought it might be good for you at least to come listen in.” He says, catching my attention enough that I sit straight up in the bed.

  “Yes. Absolutely.” I say, hoping I don't sound too eager.

  Truth is, I am ready to get started. The sooner I get started, the sooner I will find a routine. The sooner I find a routine, the sooner I can establish a sense of normalcy for myself and hopefully chill out a little bit. I don't handle being in limbo well and honestly, the last forty-eight hours has been exactly that; limbo.

  “Okay great. How about you get ready and meet me in the lobby in say...” He pauses for a moment, which tells me he's checking the time. “An hour.” He continues. “We will be meeting the guys at the station at eight so that will give you enough time to grab some coffee and a quick bite.”

  “Works for me.” I say, throwing my legs over the side of the bed.

  “Perfect. I will see you in an hour.”

  “See you in an hour.” I agree, pushing the rest of the way out of bed before dropping the phone back onto the receiver.

  ****

  “There she is.” Sean smiles the moment he spots me rounding the corner into the lobby. He's sitting in one of the tall back chairs, a coffee in one hand, and a newspaper in the other.

  “I didn't realize people still read those.” I joke, knowing most people get their news online these days.

  “Yeah well, call me old fashioned but I like holding an actual paper in my hands.” He smiles up at me, folding the paper over and dropping it on the table next to him.

  “Did you sleep okay?” He asks, pushing into a stand.

  “Not really.” I admit. “But I don't usually sleep well in new places.”

  “Well being out on the road for nearly two months will change that. You will be lucky to get to sleep in a real bed for more than a night or two.” He says, leading me to a long table at the back of the room that is covered in different pastries and fruit.

  “That's reassuring.” I sigh, bypassing the food and heading straight for the coffee pot at the end of the table.

  “You'll get used to it quicker than you think.” He says, waiting until I have my coffee fixed and the plastic lid in place before gesturing to the table. “Aren't you going to eat?”

  “I'm not hungry.” I lie. Truth is, my stomach has been rumbling since the moment I woke up but I am so nervous about today that the thought of actually eating something makes me feel a bit queasy.

  “Another tip for being on the road; eat when you can. The schedule is a bit all over the place and sometimes you'll be stuck on the bus for hours with nothing to eat but the junk food the guys stock up on or whatever you can grab from the gas station when we stop.”

  “I won't be on the bus with the band will I?” I ask, following Sean out of the front doors of the hotel into the warm morning air.

  “How else do you expect to get the whole experience?” He laughs when he sees the look of horror that crosses my face. “Don't worry, it's not so bad.” He chuckles again, reaching into his pocket to retrieve his keys before unlocking the doors and allowing me to climb into the passenger seat.

  “There are ten bunks on the main bus. You will have one. The others will be occupied by the four guys, Chet's girlfriend Kate, one for the driver, and then a couple extra for well, just extra.” He says, throwing me a side glance. I immediately pick up on the meaning. Extra in case one of the guys brings back a house guest.

  “I will be with the road crew that will follow on another bus with all of the equipment.” He says, firing the engine of the Escalade to life, wasting no time as he pulls out onto the already semi-busy street.

  “The beds are small but they each have a curtain so you will have some privacy.” He continues, as he weaves in and out of the early morning traffic. “We will spend most of the tour on the buses but may have the luxury of staying in a hotel for a night or two when time allows.”

  “Do the guys get much free time betwee
n shows?” I ask, just trying to get an idea of how all this works.

  “Depends on the day honestly.” Sean says, slowing to a near stop as he pulls into a guarded parking lot. He rolls down the window and shows the security officer his identification before being waved through.

  “There are some points throughout the tour where they will get a full day or two to just do their own thing. During that time, of course, you are free to do yours as well. It's not every day that you get to road trip across half of the country. When the band is off duty, so are you.” He pauses, pulling the car into a vacant spot and killing the engine before turning to face me.

  “When we get inside, you stick with me. You are just here to observe so don't feel like you need to do anything. I will introduce you to the guys afterward, though they all know you will be with me so don't be surprised if they come over and introduce themselves on their own. You ready?” He asks, giving me an encouraging smile before peeling open the driver’s side door.

  I take a couple deep breaths and then exit as well, joining Sean at the front of the vehicle. He leads us up a long sidewalk on a pretty large incline, making me immediately thankful that I opted for my black flats rather than heels. I follow him through a large revolving door and then stop while he checks us in at the security desk.

  Within moments, we are in the elevator climbing to the tenth floor which houses 106 Rock. I can't help but fidget with the front of my pale pink sleeveless blouse as I stare at my reflection in the mirrored elevator doors. I thought semi-casual would be acceptable so I opted to partner it with dark blue jean capris. Now, standing next to Sean in his suit, looking back and forth between our reflections, I wish I had opted for something nicer.

  Knowing there is nothing I can do about it now, I run my fingers through my long strands of hair, which I decided to wear down, hoping it can hold out for at least this morning without becoming a frizzy mess. The weather here has not agreed with my hair thus far.

  I jump slightly when the doors slide open, not expecting for them to open directly into a reception area. Sean takes my elbow and guides me into the room, flashing a badge he was given by security before turning right down a narrow hall which eventually opens up into an open space lined with picnic style tables and speakers positioned at each end of the room. I know immediately that this must be where bands play when they do a live radio show. The kind where fans can call in and try to win one of twenty spots to meet bands and witness their very own private show.

  I visited a radio station similar to this one back in Philly when Bridget landed us tickets to a meet and greet with One of These Days, one of my top five bands of all time. I remember sitting in the front row at a table very much like the ones that line this room, eagerly awaiting the moment when the band would come out and perform not five feet from where I was sitting. To say it was surreal is a complete understatement.

  I follow Sean to the far right corner of the room where another room is sectioned off with floor to ceiling windows, a man sitting inside talking into a microphone. He catches sight of us within seconds and nods towards Sean, holding up his finger.

  “You know him?” I ask.

  “We have worked together a few times in the past.” He says, smiling when the man stands and exits the booth.

  “Sean Persley, it has been too long.” The man says, clasping Sean's hand.

  He's a big guy. Well over six feet. Tattoos clutter both of his arms and his red tinted goatee is at least six inches long. While he dresses like a twenty year old rocker in a vintage Nirvana shirt and ripped jeans, I would guess him more in his mid to late forties.

  “It's good to see you Jase.” Sean says, releasing his hand and turning towards me. “Jase, this is Nora Brandt. She's a journalist with SMASH magazine.”

  “No shit?” Jase says, reaching out to shake my hand as well. “What are you doing hanging around with this tool?” He asks, immediately making me laugh.

  “I am actually doing a feature on Everything After for the September cover of the magazine.” I say proudly.

  “She is going to tour with the band for the summer.” Sean adds.

  “Well shit. I want your job.” He smiles widely and then looks behind me, the sound of voices filling the room, giving away the arrival of more people.

  “There they are.” Sean says, turning around when he catches sight of the guys entering the room. I take a deep breath and then slowly follow his line of sight, terrified that the man I saw on the elevator last night is going to be exactly who I suspect he is.

  Sure enough, the moment my head makes it around, I spot him. Ratty jeans, plain black t-shirt, a black baseball cap flipped around backwards on his head. My breath catches in my throat the second his eyes meet mine and a look of recognition crosses his features. Before I have a chance to even think of how to react, Jase's voice washes over me from behind.

  “Hey guys. Good to see you again.” He says, stepping past me to shake each of the guys’ hands. “We have you guys live in about ten minutes so if you want to jump on in the booth and grab some headphones, we will get going shortly.” He says, clearly having had the band here before.

  “I know you.” A smooth Irish accent pulls my attention from Jase and I turn to find a pair of deep blue eyes locked firmly on mine.

  “I'm sorry?” I question, my mind melting to mush the moment I realize he's talking to me.

  “I know you.” He repeats. “The elevator.” He smiles, revealing a row of perfectly straight white teeth.

  “Oh. Yeah. That.” I stutter, feeling immediately flushed. “I'm surprised you remembered.”

  “I never forget a pretty face.” He smiles wider.

  “I can't imagine it's easy for you to remember any woman's face. You see so many.” My eyes widen the moment I realize how that must have sounded. “Oh God.” I say, holding my hand up to my mouth.

  “Damn. Thirty seconds and she already has you figured out.” One of the guys jokes as he passes us. “I'm gonna like her.”

  “I didn't. I didn't mean it like that.” I immediately start to fumble through an apology. “I just meant, you know, with all the fans and stuff. You see so many people. It must be hard to remember faces.” I can feel my cheeks heat crimson.

  “I think you may have had it right the first time.” His smile only grows wider and it takes me a moment to realize he is holding his hand out to me. “I'm Killian.” He says, laughing lightly when I scramble to shake his hand, having no idea how long he's been holding it out.

  “Nora. Nora Brandt.” I say, plastering on the best smile I can muster given my level of embarrassment.

  “The journalist.” He states, clearly already knowing this fact.

  “Killian, let's go.” I hear one of the guys yell from the booth. He flips his gaze to whoever is talking and then back down to me.

  “It was nice to meet you Nora Brandt. If you'll excuse me, I am being summoned.” He chuckles lightly and then steps past me, leaving me standing rooted to the tile floor that seems to be smothered in glue, holding me to this spot.

  “Nora, you coming?” I hear Sean call and turn just in time to see him waving me into the booth.

  “I can go in there?” I ask, closing the few feet of distance between us.

  “Of course.” He says, offering me his arm as I step inside the booth. He leads me to two chairs shoved against the side wall, waiting until I sit in one before taking the one next to me.

  From where we are sitting, I have a perfect view of the entire band. They are all sitting side by side on backless stools, each holding a microphone and wearing a large set of black headphones, while Jase is sitting behind his microphone on the opposite side of the booth, facing the band.

  The last few chords of a song plays and then Jase cues the guys, letting them know that they are going live before flipping on the microphone and greeting his listening audience. Jase goes through a small intro on the band and then asks them about their upcoming tour.

  Killian is the first to
speak and I swear I could listen to him talk all day long. He is sitting on the far left and as he smoothly glides through his answer, I avoid looking in his direction at all cost. Instead, I take this opportunity to check out the other members of the band.

  I don't know for sure who is who but based on the information that Sean gave me about each of them, it's really not that hard to guess. Next to Killian is another good looking guy. A bit on the bulky side, pure muscle I'm sure, with short messy dark hair and a silver hoop through his bottom lip on the right side.

  I know it's Gabe the moment he looks in my direction. I can tell by the way he raises his eyebrows and licks his bottom lip when he catches me staring at him. The cocky one. Well, he definitely fits that title well. I immediately look away.

  Next to Gabe is a tall, skinny guy. He has dark blonde shaggy hair that hangs directly into his eyes. He's not as hot as the other band members, but he's not bad looking either. Maybe a little awkward but still pretty cute. Given that he is the only one who has not spoken even once, I can only assume that he is Aiden, the shy one.

  Which leaves Chester, or Chet as he is called. Chet is much shorter than his band mates. I would say he's probably only three or four inches taller than me based on how high he sits in his chair versus the others. He has a navy tank on that shows off his massive arms, no doubt from playing drums for so many years, and his dark hair is kept shaved almost completely down to the scalp. Like Jase, his arms are covered in tattoos and he has about the cutest dimples I have ever seen. He laughs, a lot, and seems much more comfortable than the other guys. The goofy one.

  I finally chance a look in Killian's direction, regretting it the moment I do. His deep blue eyes are locked firmly on my face and he gives me a crooked smile before turning his attention back to Jase, who thankfully throws another question his way.

  Honestly, I am so busy watching him speak, the way his mouth moves around his words, that I don't actually catch anything he is saying. Taking a deep breath, I turn my attention back to Jase, determined to not look in Killian's direction again.