Unbreak My Heart (Childhood Sweethearts Reunited)

by Helen Scott Taylor

  Andre hadn't told her she wasn't good enough for him, but his drive to change her amounted to the same thing. An aching sadness stole through her. If Andre really loved her, he would accept her as she was. How she dressed and whether she had a career or not wouldn't matter.

  On weary legs, she rose and reluctantly headed back toward the hotel. With every step the tension in her stomach wound tighter. When she reached the Caspian, Andre was on the small landing in front of his office, talking to his secretary.

  "Kate," he said, smiling as she mounted the stairs. "How are you and Keiko?" He put an arm around her and kissed her temple.

  "Okay. Well, not really, to be honest. Can we talk?"

  Andre's smile fell away and his brows gathered. "You'd better come through to my office."

  He followed her inside and closed the door behind them. "Is everything all right, love?"

  Kate crossed the room to look out the window across the grounds and woodland to the sparkling sea beyond. "I saw Jerry Markham leave."

  "That's a good thing, isn't it?" Andre said, coming to stand at her side.

  "I need to ask you something, and I want you to be straight with me, okay?"

  "Of course."

  "Did you make a deal with him to give a quote about Keiko's paternity in exchange for the promotional piece Jerry's doing on the Caspian?"

  Silence met her question. A knock sounded at the door and Andre shouted over his shoulder that he was busy. "You make it sound so bad," he started, and sighed. "Look, it wasn't like that. Jerry caught me at the Court Royal and wheedled the information out of me. He was the one who suggested the promotion for the Caspian. I just agreed."

  Kate bit her lip as she considered what he'd said. She could imagine how Markham might twist things around and catch someone out. But she had thought Andre would be too sharp to be trapped that way. The hollow place inside her hummed sickly. However the deal came about, Jerry had basically told her the truth.

  "And what is this he tells me about a press conference?"

  "Ahh." Andre released a pent-up breath. "Look, I intended to tell you as soon as I had the details ironed out. I'm hiring a PR company to set it up."

  "So why the big secret?" This didn't make any sense. What was the big deal about the press conference? "Is it to introduce the new hotel brand?"

  "I haven't any other reason to call the press in. I'm timing the event to happen just after Jerry's article goes in the newspapers. I want you to do a joint presentation with me. Introduce your ideas and give some of the background research to get interest bubbling. That'll benefit both of us—"

  "No!" Kate threw up a hand to stop him. If he mentioned how it would benefit her career she was going to scream. Her sudden outburst startled Keiko and she started to wail in short anguished sobs.

  "Kate," Andre said, raising his voice above the noise. "Be reasonable. It's a good idea."

  She was suddenly so weary she could hardly think, weary of the pretense, weary of the pressure Andre put on her to step outside her comfort zone. She hadn't slept much last night. She'd spent most of the time making love with Andre. That beautiful intimacy now felt tainted.

  "Look, I really don't care." She sat on the windowsill and hugged her crying daughter, kissing her hair and stroking her back to sooth her until she quieted. "It's not important to me, Andre. Keiko is what matters. And when I have more children, if I do, they'll be my focus. Sucking up to a lot of pretentious twits who can't see past the designer label on someone's clothes is the last thing I care about.

  "So I'm a pretentious twit, am I?" he said tightly.

  She hadn't meant him, but what the hell. "If the cap fits!"

  He turned away, leaned a hand against the window frame and glared out the window. "You must admit I'm right. This privileged life you live is pretentious," she continued. "All you care about is what I wear and how I have my hair styled. I must have a successful career to impress your shallow friends or they won't take me seriously. And you think I'm the one with problems. I might have confidence issues and need help and support sometimes, but at least I know who I am. You threw yourself into this life to fulfill your grandfather's dreams but somewhere along the way you've lost yourself. I hate to say this, Andre, but you're becoming like your father."

  As the words left her mouth she knew he would take them hard, but it needed to be said. Andre turned his head, a dangerous glitter in his eyes. "If that's what you believe, then it's a good thing we got it out in the open now. I'm sure I can find someone else to present your ideas at the press conference. You seem to think it's beneath your dignity to sell yourself to get business like the rest of us have to."

  "Andre, I'm not saying presenting at the conference is beneath my dignity. It's just not me."

  "Do you know," Andre pivoted to face her, angry lines of tension bracketing his mouth as he continued, "I'm not the one who feels superior, Kat. It's you!"

  "No!" She couldn't believe her ears.

  "You've always been aloof and behaved as though you don't belong with the rest of us mere mortals. I used to put it down to your creative nature, but it's more than that. You don't want to dirty your hands by grubbing around in the dirt with us ordinary people, trying to earn a living the traditional way by running a business or getting a job. You float through life with your head in the clouds, thinking money grows on trees or materializes out of thin air at the swish of your magic wand."

  "That's rubbish. I've had a job."

  "Not for long. I know full well you gave it up when Dan started earning a lot." Heat burst into Kate's cheeks at the accusation. She had given up work and let Dan support her, but only because she was pregnant with Keiko and had bad morning sickness.

  Andre thought her a liability in every way, not just emotionally needy but also a freeloader who couldn't look after herself. Now she knew what his attitude would be to a wife who didn't pull her weight and simply wanted to stay at home with her children."I think I should go."

  "Perhaps you should." Tight-lipped, Andre dipped a hand inside the breast pocket of his jacket and pulled out his wallet. He extracted a wad of banknotes. "Here. This should cover fares for the taxi and ferry back to England."

  Angry heat flared through Kate. "I don't want your cash!"

  He shrugged and dropped the money on the windowsill at her side. "Suit yourself." He crossed to his desk, sat in the leather chair, and started shuffling papers. "Close the door on your way out."

  That was it? She was dismissed? So much for love. So much for being partners who supported each other. This was not the Andre she knew and loved. She rose to her feet, the wind knocked out of her. Tears filled her eyes as she headed for the door. She paused with her hand on the doorknob. "Thank you for taking me in when I needed sanctuary."

  "You're welcome." He glanced up briefly then returned his attention to a paper in his hand.

  Kate headed down the stairs, her heart aching at how much like his father Andre had become. This cold judgmental behavior was pure Robert Le Court.

  ***

  Andre stood at his office window, jaw clenched, and watched Kate until he lost sight of her in the trees. His temper rarely got the better of him, but Kate had always been able to push his buttons.

  Anger sizzled along his nerves as he remembered her words. She had a nerve judging him when she was the one who trailed mayhem in her wake. He'd spent his childhood in conflict with other kids because he chose to be her friend and protector. She wouldn't have survived without him. She didn't live in the real world and other kids hated anyone different.

  He knew he was being a little unfair because she had been shy and was bullied, which had made her withdraw even more, but right now he didn't care. She did nothing to help herself and never had.

  And she had the nerve to criticize him. He was not like his father! He slammed his hand against the window frame. The mere thought filled him with fury. His father had been a womanizer with zero integrity. Kate had accused him of being pretentious and shall
ow simply because he wanted her to make the best of herself and get involved in his life. If that was her opinion of him, they had no future together.

  The silence hung heavily around him after the recent angry words and Keiko's cries. Gradually his anger faded like a flash fire that had burned itself out. He didn't really want her to leave. His breath rushed out in a frustrated sigh. What did he have to do to make things right between them? He'd tried, for God's sake.

  He stuffed his hand in the pocket of his trousers and pulled out the end of her plait he'd picked up in the hair salon. He ran his finger over the two green beads and the silky length of blonde hair, a sick tightness in his chest. She'd always worn her hair in weird styles. That was part of her charm. It was also the main reason she'd been picked on at school, that and her new-age clothes.

  Kate's mother had told him Kate didn't have a problem; the bullies did. He'd known that, obviously, but he'd argued it was best not to stand out as being different. Mrs. Frost refused to stunt her daughter's individuality just to placate the narrow-minded.

  He'd forgotten that long-ago conversation until now. Discomfort whispered through him as he realized he'd been doing exactly this ever since Kate arrived—changing her to make her acceptable to his social circle and business acquaintances. He closed his fist around the piece of hair as he turned the issue over in his mind. Even though Mrs Frost had the moral high ground, he still believed life was hard enough without purposely making it tougher.

  But if Kate was like every other woman he knew, she wouldn't be Kate. The woman he loved, quirks and all.

  "Damn, damn." Andre sat on the windowsill and picked up the money he'd offered her. How would she pay her fares? He should have paid her for the design work instead of expecting her to do it for nothing. In his mind, he'd set the fee off against the cost of her stay. He'd even joked with her about it. But one didn't charge a friend to stay, especially not when that friend was in trouble.

  God, he wasn't really turning into a mercenary, arrogant bastard like his father, was he? His motives for persuading her to change had been good, hadn't they? He wanted her to fit in so she could share his life. But maybe that was the problem—he'd only thought about what he wanted.

  He stared at the picture of his grandfather's smiling face above the fireplace. Andre had spent years trying to realize the old man's vision of success, but his grandpa would not be happy to see him lose Kate and Keiko. Family had always come first with him. The old man had fought to persuade Andre's mother to stay when his father's womanizing had driven her away. Edmund valued family above all else, as well.

  Andre couldn't lose Kate. Without her, life stretched ahead of him, barren and colorless. He was so used to managing on his own, he'd lost sight of what was really important. People came first. Kate came first. God, he'd messed up again. How would he win her back a second time?

  He rose and headed for the door to chase after Kate before she left, but as his hand closed around the doorknob he paused and rested his forehead on the cool wood. He didn't want her to leave, but they couldn't carry on like this. He needed space to think. Perhaps some time apart to cool off would do them both good? Perhaps she would miss him? And if she didn't love him enough to adapt to this life he led, then he would have to change.

  Chapter Ten

  With every step toward the cottage, Kate willed Andre to come after her. She strained her ears for the sound of his footsteps. But the silence was broken only by the scuttling of small creatures in the undergrowth.

  Kate packed in silence while Keiko lay on the bed. She opened the wardrobe door and stared at the new clothes Andre had bought her. Her fingers brushed the green chiffon releasing a burst of fragrance loaded with sweet memories. She had to keep the dress and matching sandals. She folded the items together and squeezed them into her backpack.

  On the dressing table, she placed the picture she'd painted for Andre and the small glass dragon she'd wrapped and labeled from Keiko. He didn't deserve the birthday presents after what he'd said to her. He was lucky she didn't have room in her pack for them. Holding tightly to her emotions, she set down the engagement ring box beside the gifts, resisting the urge to take one last look at the diamond and pearl cluster.

  Andre might have mentioned marriage in bed last night, but he had never officially asked her. The ring had never really been hers, not even for a moment. Kate turned away before she could change her mind, strapped Keiko into her baby sling and hoisted her backpack. She halted when she reached the sitting room and stared around, listening to the tick of the clock, remembering everything they had said and done together the last few weeks. Still hoping Andre would walk through the door and make her stay. But he didn't, and she couldn't stand there all day. It was time to go. With one last glance behind her at Andre's dragons, she walked away and left her dreams behind.

  ***

  The following morning, tired and sweaty, Kate tramped along the narrow Cornish road from the bus stop to her mother's cottage. Keiko fussed, obviously hungry and uncomfortable. Her diaper needed changing, and her fine golden hair clung damply against her head.

  As Kate opened the front gate, her stepfather, Derrick, was on his knees weeding the garden. He sat back on his heels, and gave her a guarded look. "I hope you haven't got an entourage with you."

  Kate sighed and shook her head. She didn't want to argue with her stepfather again. It upset her mother. "No. Just the two of us this time."

  He stood and peered up and down the road as if he didn't believe her. With a critical glance her way, he brushed the soil from his hands. She'd never gotten along with Derrick. He put up with her mum's quirky ways, but then her mum's sculptures brought in a lot of money and had allowed Derrick to retire early. "Your mum's in her studio."

  Kate smiled. Some things never changed. She entered the open front door, dropped her backpack and walked through the cottage to the sunny studio at the back. Hesitating in the doorway, she savored the familiar clean, wet smell of clay that enveloped her like a welcoming hug.

  Her mother's fair hair was twisted up haphazardly, secured with silk flowers. Her head angled thoughtfully, she smoothed the torso of a clay figurine with her fingers. Keiko snuffled, and Kate's mother turned, eyebrows raised.

  "Hi, Mum." Kate tried to smile but her face wouldn't work. Her lips trembled. Her control cracked, and all her pent-up emotions burst out, tears flooding her eyes.

  "Oh, Katey, are they following you again, sweet pea? Come here." Her mother stood and wrapped her arms around both her and Keiko. Kate pressed her face into her mother's shirt collar, breathed in the familiar smells of clay, glaze, and patchouli oil, and sobbed.

  When she'd cried herself out, her mum made them a cup of tea and took her into the shady sitting room. Kate fed Keiko and related everything that had happened since her last visit.

  Her mother sipped her tea and twisted a stray lock of hair between her fingers. When Kate finished, her mum released an anguished breath. "I'm so sorry Derrick sent you away last time, Katey love. I would never have let him if I'd known."

  "It's all right. It was my problem, Mum. Not yours."

  Kate's mother moved to her side and lifted Keiko into her arms. "My poor, sweet, little darling. What a start to life and all because of that horrid daddy of yours."

  Kate closed her eyes and let her head drop back against the cushions. The last thing she wanted was another argument about Daniel Crowther. Her mother had never liked Dan and made no secret of the fact. She had been unhappy about Kate's pregnancy, but of course adored Keiko when she was born.

  "I bet Andre will make a good daddy, though," her mum continued with a pointed glance Kate's way. She held Keiko up in front of her. "What do you think, sweet pea? Would you like Andre to be your daddy?"

  "Mum!"

  "What? Keiko can't understand me."

  "I can."

  "It sounds to me like he's been auditioning for the jobs of father and husband if I'm reading between the lines correctly." Her mother ra
ised her eyebrows.

  Now Kate wished she hadn't gone into so much detail about her time in Jersey, but she'd needed to get it all off her chest. Although talking hadn't help ease the sick feeling of loss inside her. "Can we continue our chat tomorrow? I'm too tired right now." Kate shut her eyes and let her mind drift, hoping she might doze.

  "If you love Andre, why did you run away?"

  Kate rubbed her gritty eyes. "I told you what he said."

  "Men say all sorts of rubbish they don't mean, love, especially when they're cross. You have to ignore most of it."

  "Is that how you handle Derrick?"

  Her mum gave her a conspiratorial smile.

  Maybe she should have waited for Andre to come back to the cottage yesterday evening and talk things over calmly, but really, what was the point. She wasn't the type of wife he wanted. She'd thought about their situation endlessly on the ferry to England and bus ride to Cornwall. "Our differences amount to more than a few cross words, Mum. Andre and I are just not right for each other."

  "It sounds to me as though he's behaved like a man in love. He took you in and looked after you. He didn't have to."

  "I love him too, Mum. But it's not enough. We're different."

  Kate's mother stared out the window pensively. "Your dad thought the two of you would end up together. 'Two peas in a pod,' he used to say. Robert Le Court saw it as well. That's why he was desperate to separate Andre from you."

  Her mother was quiet for a while and despite her weariness, Kate found her thoughts drifting back over the years. Her childhood on Jersey was all about Andre. He had been her world, life without him unthinkable. This last month she'd fallen right back into that world as if the years apart had never happened. And the night they made love her feelings for him had transcended the past. She pressed her fist against the pain in her chest.

  "When's this press conference Andre wants you to attend?" her mum asked, breaking into her reverie.