To Be a Family (Harlequin Superromance)

by Kilby, Joan

  And yes, face it, she was nervous about seeing John again after running out without saying goodbye the day of the Skype session. But he had a nerve calling her naturopath and homeopath witch doctors. Especially considering she’d been in remission and perfectly healthy for over six years.

  She carefully placed the cat family in the center of the paper and began to fold and tape.

  How dare he try to control her health choices when the last time he tried had proved disastrous for their relationship? How much nicer if he’d simply given her a hug and said he hoped she felt better soon? Given her some credit for being able to take care of herself.

  As much as she was looking forward to seeing Tuti, she rather dreaded the coming encounter with John’s mother. The last time she’d run into Alison in the grocery store the woman had looked right through her as if she wasn’t there. The experience had shaken her. She was used to everyone liking her.

  She considered just dropping off the present and going straight home. Her sprained ankle would be a good enough excuse. But she wanted to go for Tuti’s sake. From things John let slip Katie knew the party was going to be bigger than Ben Hur. Tuti was easily overwhelmed by people and excitement.

  The party was to begin at two that afternoon. At a carefully calculated 2:15 p.m. Katie arrived at Alison and Marty’s beautiful two-story home in an exclusive neighborhood. She figured by this time Alison would be fully occupied with her other guests and she could slip in unnoticed.

  Her red dress wasn’t conducive to blending in with the furniture, but pride dictated that she make herself as attractive as possible to compensate and distract from the crutches and the ugly bandage around her sprained ankle.

  She pressed the doorbell. Please let John answer. Or one of his sisters, or his father, anyone but—the door opened—Alison.

  Perfect. Katie forced a smile. “Hello.”

  “There you are, Katie! We thought you weren’t coming.” Alison’s smile was effusive, her manner warmly welcoming as Katie entered the foyer. “It’s been so long since we’ve seen you. Come in, come in.”

  What was going on? Was she drunk? Katie leaned in cautiously as the other woman gave her a peck on the cheek. A cloud of perfume enveloped her but there was no alcohol on Alison’s breath. Warily, Katie hugged her back, conscious of a pang for the years when they’d had almost a mother-daughter relationship.

  “How have you been?” Katie stopped short of saying I missed you. Was Alison sincerely trying to mend their relationship or was her friendliness just for show on Tuti’s birthday? She really hoped it was genuine.

  “Oh, you know me. I’m always fine.” Alison led the way into the crowded lounge room. Adults filled all available seating while children ran in and out. “Put your present on the table and come and sit down. John told us all about your poor ankle. There’s tea or coffee or soft drinks. Marty’s got a bar going in the kitchen if you’d like something stronger.”

  “No alcohol, thanks, but I wouldn’t mind a cold drink.” Katie waved to a mother of one of the children in her class. “Where’s Tuti? I’d like to say happy birthday to her.”

  “She’s out back on the trampoline. That was our gift to her. We figured if we’re going to be babysitting regularly she would need something fun to do while she was here.” Alison removed a bag from a chair and pulled it out for Katie. “Sit down, you poor thing.”

  “Thank you.” Katie lowered herself and propped her crutches on the wall next to her. Through the kitchen doorway she spotted John’s sisters putting food onto platters. “Sonya, Leah, it’s so good to see you both.”

  A flurry of exclamations and hugs ensued. Katie chatted with them while they worked and got fully caught up on their kids, jobs and husbands. Katie in turn told the story of her sprained ankle.

  Alison poured her a tall glass of iced lemonade from a frosty jug. “There you go.”

  “Thanks,” Katie said warmly. “That’s so kind of you. I’ll rest a bit then go see Tuti.”

  “She’ll be thrilled you came.” Alison plucked an olive off one of the platters. “She talks about you all the time. Katie this, Katie that. She thinks you’re wonderful.”

  What was wonderful was hearing Alison, who’d once been so important to her and then so cold, pass on this information. Katie smiled up at her. “The feeling’s mutual. I adore Tuti.”

  A warm hand cupped her shoulder. “Glad you could make it.” John’s short blond hair was shiny, his jaw freshly shaven, his eyes very blue.

  “Thanks for inviting me.” Katie sipped her lemonade.

  John pulled out a chair and sat next to her. At a glance from him, his sisters and mother picked up the platters and moved into the backyard. “What happened the other day? You ran off.”

  “I had to go. You were busy with Tuti....”

  “I appreciate the trouble you went to over the shrine. It meant a lot to Tuti. And the book on grief.” He took a breath. “Maybe I wasn’t dealing with things the way I should.”

  “You’re doing a good job. It’s not easy to think of everything.”

  “Well, you were right. Can we leave it at that?”

  “Well…” She leveled him a direct look. “No apology for giving me a hard time about my choice in medicine?”

  “I won’t apologize for having your best interests at heart.” He held up a finger as she opened her mouth to protest. “Don’t spoil the party by arguing.”

  “In that case, I’ll go outside and say happy birthday to Tuti.”

  “Uh-uh-uh. You promised not to run away when I came into a room.” He dropped his hand to her strapped ankle. “How’s the foot?”

  “It doesn’t throb anymore. I can stand on it without crutches for short periods.”

  “And your cold? Can I get you anything—a box of tissues, freshen your drink? I’ll be your personal butler. Anything you want, just ask.” John got up and dragged over another chair, covered it with a cushion off the breakfast nook and lifted her bandaged ankle onto the cushion. “Is that better?”

  “It’s great. Thanks.”

  He was purposely being charming. And it was working. She couldn’t bring herself to remind him he’d promised not to flirt. In the old days he used to overwhelm her with pampering. She’d end up laughing and exasperated, batting him away. But she’d loved the attention. And now? She still enjoyed him. But she was wary of getting used to the royal treatment again. Who knew when he might suddenly withdraw it. And himself.

  He grabbed himself a cold beer from a bucket of ice, nodding at the shrieks of children’s laughter coming from outside. “It’s a zoo. I don’t know where my mother found all those kids.”

  “She’s gone to a huge effort for Tuti.”

  John twisted off the beer cap. “It’s too much. Tuti’s not used to the attention or all the presents. I don’t want her upset. Or spoiled.”

  “It will take more than a few presents to spoil Tuti. Don’t be mad at your mother for indulging her. It’s a grandmother’s right.”

  “Speaking of my mother, I hope she’s behaving?”

  Suddenly she knew what had happened. He’d told his mother to be nice to her. It was thoughtful of him—but wrong. Alison would only be more resentful of Katie if she had to pretend to like her. Suddenly she felt tired and sad and disappointed. She’d thought all her old wounds had healed. She’d thought she no longer cared whether Alison liked her or not. But then Alison had hugged her and she’d almost cried because it had felt like she was coming home.
To know that Alison was only pretending was awful.

  “You don’t need to protect me from her,” Katie said quietly. “We’ll work things out if we’re able to. If not, her being nice because you asked her to won’t help.”

  “In other words, she’s gone over the top, as usual.”

  “I’ll survive.”

  “Of course you will, because that’s what you do.” He gave her a smile, as if trying to make up again.

  Here was the opening—if she decided to take it—to tell him why she’d made the decision not to have a mastectomy. After him telling her why he left she thought he deserved an explanation in turn. She didn’t want him to think she was a crackpot. But who wanted to talk about breast cancer at a child’s birthday party? It wasn’t a sexy topic. And she’d noticed several attractive women here today. She already had a bum ankle. She hated that in his mind she would always be the sick girl.

  “Come along, everyone,” Alison said, poking her head into the room. “Tuti’s opening her presents.”

  Katie and John followed the rest of the guests out back. Tuti sat atop a picnic table surrounded by gifts, her eyes wide, her round cheeks flushed. She was overexcited, a little frightened by all the attention and confused as to what she should be doing. Katie felt for her and wished she could help. But this was Alison’s show and she didn’t want to risk her wrath by interfering. She cringed as Tuti edged away when John’s mother sat next to her to hand her presents. Despite everything, she couldn’t help but feel sorry for Alison.

  “Excuse me, Katie, I’d better get in there,” John muttered, and pushed through the crowd to join Tuti. “May I help?” he asked his mother. Without waiting for an answer he sat between Tuti and Alison and became the go-between.

  There were so many presents and half of them seemed to come from John’s mother. Tuti was starting to lose it. She ripped off the paper, barely looking at each gift before thrusting it aside and demanding another. John whispered in her ear. She merely shrugged. Katie winced. What should have been a simple celebration with close family had turned into a circus.

  Tuti was handed Katie’s present. The hand-painted wrapping was torn off and flung on the ground. Katie braced herself for Tuti to toss the gift aside just as she’d done the plastic dolls and jewelry-making kits. But when Tuti saw the cats she went still. She tugged on her father’s arm to show him. John had picked up the wrapping paper and was examining it. He looked at the cats then pointed Katie out to Tuti. Across the other children’s heads, Tuti beamed at Katie.

  Katie’s heart filled. Misty-eyed, she smiled back. No matter what happened between her and John, she would never be just Tuti’s teacher.

  When all the presents had been opened, it was time for barbecued lamb and salads. The music was turned up and the adults spilled into the backyard, sipping wine and beer. The children piled into the bouncing castle or jumped on the trampoline.

  Katie didn’t feel like drinking and she’d had enough socializing for the moment. She went in search of Tuti, knowing she would be someplace quiet. It took an introvert to recognize another one, something that Alison didn’t get. She found the girl in Marty’s den, sitting up at her grandfather’s desk playing with the Balinese cat family.

  “Hey, Tuti,” Katie said softly from the doorway. “Do you like your present?”

  “I like very big.” Tuti arranged the cats in a circle.

  “You like it very much. What do you say when someone gives you something?”

  Tuti beamed at Katie. “Thank you.”

  “You’re welcome.” Katie took a seat in an easy chair next to the fireplace and watched Tuti play for a few minutes. “There are a lot of people here today.”

  Tuti flashed her an anxious glance, as if worried Katie might send her back out. “Many peoples.”

  “Your grandmother loves you very much.” She never thought she’d be pleading Alison’s case, but Tuti needed her grandmother even if she didn’t know it.

  Tuti shrugged and continued to play.

  “You know, if you don’t run away from her all the time, she might give you some space.”

  Tuti glanced up, puzzled. Hmm, how to explain “space”? “She might not sit so close or try to hug you all the time. She might not talk to you so much and expect you to talk. People don’t understand that you need to be alone sometimes.”

  “I didn’t realize I was so annoying.”

  Katie twisted in her chair.

  Alison stood in the doorway. Her blue eyes, so like John’s, shimmered, not with tears but with resentment.

  “Oh, dear. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean—”

  “Yes, you did,” she said curtly. “We’re ready to sing happy birthday to Tuti. Tuti, would you like to come and blow out the candles on your cake?” Alison glanced at Katie with an unfathomable look before turning back to Tuti. “Or would you like to play by yourself a little longer?”

  Tuti looked like she didn’t know what she wanted.

  “Why don’t you come in for a moment,” Katie suggested to Alison. “Tuti, can you show your grandmother your cat family?”

  Tuti nodded.

  Alison started to go to her side, hesitated then sat across the desk from her. “Do they have names?”

  “Bapa, meme, Wayan, Made, Nyoman, Ketut,” Tuti recited mother, father, followed by the Balinese names commonly given to the first, second, third and fourth children in a family.

  “Those are lovely.” Alison watched Tuti line the cats up on the couch in order of size. When Tuti put them in the wrong order she opened her mouth to correct her. Then she caught Katie’s eye and pressed her lips together.

  After a bit of rearranging Tuti got the order right all by herself. Satisfied, she looked at her grandmother. “Cake?”

  “Cake.” Alison rose and held out her hand.

  Tuti slid off her grandfather’s big leather chair. She ran past Alison’s outstretched hand and threw her arms around Katie’s neck. “I love you.” Then she ran out of the room.

  Alison froze, her face flushing brick-red. Her fingers curled in on her palm.

  “She’s only a little girl,” Katie defended. “She doesn’t mean to hurt you. She’ll come around.”

  “Save your advice for someone who wants it.” Alison gave a haughty sniff. “Everyone thinks you’re so wonderful. But it’s your fault John won’t stick with any woman for long. What he went through with you scarred him.”

  Katie stared. Where was this coming from? Had John talked to his mother about their relationship? She agreed John had changed. But life-and-death situations often had that effect. How did Alison think she’d felt?

  “I am not responsible for his playboy lifestyle!”

  “You broke his heart when you wouldn’t reconcile. Now you’ve wormed your way into his life through Tuti. If you hurt him again—”

  “He left me when I needed him most. He broke my heart.”

  No question about it now, Alison’s earlier display of affection had been completely phony. It hurt all the more because the affection between them used to be genuine. Oh, why hadn’t she stayed home and worked on her book? If she’d done that she wouldn’t be having this conversation.

  “Really? Then why hasn’t he ever married and had a proper family?”

  “I don’t know.” She shook her head, hurt and bewildered. “You’re being unfair.”

  Alison walked out, clearly not prepared to listen to any more. Katie sat very still, her hands clenched in her lap. How cou
ld Alison have said those things? They were untrue—they had to be, calculated to hurt her. She hadn’t damaged John. It was unthinkable.

  “Katie, there you are!” Sonya appeared in the open door. “Come on. We’re singing happy birthday.” She hustled Katie back to the backyard. A plate with cake and a glass of champagne were pressed into her hands.

  Smiling faces were all around but she was close to tears. Could Alison be right? Had she ruined John’s life? In focusing on getting and staying well had she been that self-absorbed that she hadn’t noticed he was hurting?

  She slipped away from the group to a quiet corner of the yard separated by a hedge and sat on the wide swing made for two beneath a big old oak tree. She and John used to sit here on moonlit nights....

  As if she’d conjured him, he came around the hedge.

  CHAPTER TEN

  “AHA, I FIGURED YOU would have gone into hiding by now. Tuti really likes those cats. Are they from Bali?”

  “What? Oh, yes, they are.” She kept her face averted. Her emotions were close to the surface.

  He walked around the swing and bent to narrow his gaze at her. “What’s wrong? Did my mother say something to upset you?”

  Katie knew better than to criticize his mother. He could complain about her all he liked but he wouldn’t appreciate her doing it. “It’s no big deal.”

  John sat next to her on the swing. “Tell me.”

  Fearing she might cry for all she’d had, and lost, not just John and his family, but the core of who she thought she was, she took a deep shaky breath. Still she couldn’t speak.

  John took her hand. His grip was warm and comforting, his thigh and shoulder pressed against hers. “What did Mother do?”

  “Did I break your heart?” she blurted. “Am I the reason you haven’t found someone else and married?”

  He swore under his breath. “Is that what she told you?”

  “Basically.”