To Be a Family (Harlequin Superromance)

by Kilby, Joan

  He put an arm around her and squeezed. “I do, too. Susan’s a wonderful woman. Don’t get me wrong, I love her dearly—”

  “I understand. You don’t have to explain.”

  “I’m sorry I wasn’t a better parent, both before and after your mother died,” he went on. “That was one of our sticking points. She thought I was turning home into a kiddie’s boot camp. I thought she was too soft.”

  Katie sat up and wiped her eyes. It all sounded so familiar. “How did you compromise?”

  “We didn’t. She took over raising you and your brother. I played a support role. After she was gone I struggled, not knowing you kids, not knowing how to handle you.” He bowed his head. “Guess I was an absent parent a lot of the time.”

  Katie was silent. His emotional absence had been another wound in the aftermath of her mother’s death. Something she hadn’t thought about for years. Now she recalled wishing he would love her half as much as he’d loved her mother. With Mum gone, her father absent through grief and her brother going through puberty with no time for his little sister, she’d felt…abandoned. As if she wasn’t worthy of love, as if she couldn’t count on anyone to be there for her.

  Only by constructing fantasies of a love so pure and perfect as what she believed her father felt for her mother had she gotten through her teen years. And who had her fantasies centered on?

  John.

  She buried her face in her hands. The poor man. She’d had visions of a relationship free of pain and conflict, the perfect marriage. Nobody could have lived up to her expectations.

  But she’d tested him. Oh, yes, over and over. And found him wanting. So in a self-fulfilling prophecy she’d unconsciously pushed him away until even he abandoned her.

  What he’d said was true. She’d condemned him before he had a chance to prove himself. She hadn’t looked at it that way before. Even before she got sick. Not setting a wedding date, avoiding conversations about the future, brushing him off when he tried to make plans about where they would live. He’d wanted to travel and live in other cities back then, too. She’d refused to even entertain the idea. Her insistence on having her own way was just a ploy to make him continuously prove his love for her. Even now, he was being so generous, giving her everything he could possibly think of to help her and to make a family. And once again, she was pushing him away. He wanted one thing for himself, one thing, to have a crack at a different kind of job. And she’d refused to compromise. Oh, God. What had she done?

  “I’m a horrible, horrible person.”

  “No, you’re wonderful.” Her father rubbed her back. “You’re warm and generous and loving. And strong. You and Riley turned out bloody good considering how badly I messed up as a parent. We can thank your mother for that.”

  “You were the one who got us through our teen years. You are a very good father.” Katie put her arms around him and hugged hard. “Don’t ever doubt that. I love you, Dad.”

  “Love you, too,” he said gruffly. Then he tipped up her chin and gave her a stern gaze. “You’ve got some of your mother’s stubbornness in you. Be careful you don’t push him too far. John loves you but there’s only so much a man can take.”

  “I know.” She jumped to her feet and hugged her dad again. “I’ve got to talk to him. Before it’s too late.”

  As Katie hurried away from the Men’s Shed she pulled her out her phone and punched in John’s number. She wanted to hear his voice, tell him she loved him, tell him she would go with him to the ends of the earth. Oh, they had a few things to work out, make no mistake, but she loved him.

  And where there was love, there was hope.

  After four rings her call went to voice mail. She stared at the screen. He always kept his phone on, even through the night when he was sleeping. He was always available—for Tuti, for his family, for the police station. For her.

  She rang the station. He wasn’t there. Patty was on her day off and the temp didn’t know where he was. Riley and Paula were out of the office.

  He might be at his parents’ house but she didn’t have their phone number. She pulled out of the Men’s Shed driveway and pointed her car in the direction of their house.

  Alison would know. But would Alison tell?

  CHAPTER SIXTEEN

  JOHN HELD TUTI’S hand as they went through airport security, keeping her close among the throngs of passengers coming and going. They’d checked their bags and were on their way to the departure lounge.

  He glanced at his watch. They had plenty of time. Getting to the airport early had seemed a better option than another hour moping around his town house over leaving Katie.

  Tuti stopped dead, planting her pink jelly sandals on the shiny tiles. Her thin shoulders shifted beneath her backpack, heavy with books and toys. “I didn’t say goodbye to Katie.”

  He’d already explained the whole thing to her twice. Patiently, he crouched in the middle of the concourse. “We’re just going to look at our new house so we can decide what furniture to have shipped up. We’ll be back in a couple of days.”

  “Can I bring Mummy’s spirit house?” Tuti asked anxiously.

  “Of course. Don’t forget we’re going to get you a puppy. Won’t that be nice?”

  “What about Katie?” Tuti’s eyes grew shiny. “Is Katie coming with us?”

  “I’m sorry, sweetheart. Katie is staying in Summerside. Her job is at the school. She can’t leave her students, or her family.”

  “But I love her. I don’t want to leave her.”

  John drew his daughter into a hug. All of a sudden he didn’t want to leave, either. But he had to.

  * * *

  KATIE TUGGED DOWN her blouse and smoothed a hand through her hair. Then she rang the doorbell of Alison and Marty’s house. She waited, long enough to admire the white and red geraniums in big pots and the flourishing garden beds and trim green lawn. Her finger was poised to ring the bell again when the door opened. Alison was dressed formidably in a blue silk dress that set off her coiffed blond hair. Expensive perfume drifted into the fresh outdoors. Damn, she was hoping she would get Marty.

  “Hey, Alison,” Katie began. “I—”

  The older woman crossed her arms, her wrists and fingers heavy with gold. “He’s not here.”

  Katie started to count to ten. She only made it to five. “Can you tell me where he is?”

  “Why should I? So you can dig your knife a little deeper? Maybe give it a good hard twist? I thought you were different this time. I was starting to like you again.”

  “I need to see him. Please.”

  “Why?”

  God, this woman was hard. But she supposed she would be, too, if she were defending her child. She made an effort to soften her voice. “I want to accept his marriage proposal.” To her horror, tears sprang to her eyes. She gave up all pretense. “Oh, Alison. I love him. I made a mistake and I need to tell him so.”

  “My dear.” Alison dropped her hard veneer. “He’s gone to the airport with Tuti. They’re on their way to Tinman Island.”

  “They’re not moving so soon!” Katie exclaimed.

  “No, they’re just going for the weekend, to look over the place and see their new house.”

  “Well, I need to be there, too, because I’m going to be living there with them.” Katie dug her car keys out. “When is their flight?”

  “Not till one-thirty this afternoon.” Alison glanced at the regulator clock on the foyer wall. “
If you hurry you might make it.” Katie was halfway down the steps when Alison added, “Good luck!”

  Katie ran back up the steps, ignoring the twinge in her ankle, and hugged Alison. “I won’t hurt him ever again, I promise.”

  The sixty-minute drive to the airport was a nightmare. Why couldn’t she simply blink her eyes and find herself in the departure lounge, the way it happened in the movies? But no, there had to be an accident on the on-ramp to the freeway. And farther along, construction slowed traffic.

  When she finally made it to the airport she parked askew across two spaces and raced inside the Domestic Terminal. She quickly bought a ticket and sped through check-in, easier since she had no luggage. Thank God, luck was with her and there were spare seats on the flight.

  Reining in her impatience long enough to clear security, she grabbed her handbag off the conveyer belt and ran down the concourse. Naturally the departure lounge she wanted was at the very end. Puffing and panting, she came to a halt among the milling passengers lining up to go aboard.

  “Katie! Katie!” Tuti jumped up and down on the spot. She tugged on John’s arm. “Bapa, look!” Then she started to run.

  Katie held open her arms. Tuti slammed into her, her backpack nearly throwing them both off balance. Katie scooped her up and hugged her tightly. “Oh, my goodness. I thought you’d left without me.”

  “I missed you.” Tuti had a stranglehold on her neck. “I missed you so much. And we’re not even gone yet.”

  “I’m coming with you.” Katie gave her another hug and let her slide to the floor. John was three feet away looking like he was seeing a ghost.

  “Hey,” she said, suddenly nervous. “I know this is a horrible cliché, running to the airport at the last moment. But I had to tell you something.”

  The other passengers filed slowly toward the Jetway.

  “What did you want to tell me?” John asked.

  She took a big breath. “I accept. I will marry you. I will come with you to Tinman Island.”

  John just stood there, his jaw working.

  “Please say something.”

  He shook his head. For one horrible moment she thought he was refusing her. Then he took a giant stride forward and she was in his arms, her face pressed into his shirt. He rocked her back and forth. She couldn’t speak either for the tightness in her chest that closed up her throat.

  He cupped her face and kissed her all over. “Katie, Katie. I thought I’d lost you forever.”

  “No, no, the opposite. You’ve got me forever.” She searched his face. “If you still want me?”

  “Don’t ever doubt it. I love you. I’ve never stopped loving you.”

  “Bapa. Katie,” a little voice said. “People going.”

  “I love you.” She rained kisses on his nose, his jaw of golden stubble, his beautiful mouth. “I need you.”

  “Last call for passengers of Flight QF68. Your flight is now boarding. Last call for…”

  Katie broke apart and looked around. The departure lounge was empty. A pretty flight attendant, her auburn hair pulled into a bun, waited patiently at the entrance to the Jetway.

  “Bapa!” Tuti tugged on his hand. “We have to go!”

  “Have you got a boarding pass?” John asked as they hurried forward.

  Katie fished it out of her purse. In a last-minute flurry they ran down the Jetway and went on board. The flight attendant closed the hatch behind them.

  “Oh, no, we won’t get to sit together,” Katie said.

  The attendant reached for their passes. “Let me see what I can do.”

  A businessman moved into Katie’s seat and she was able to take his place. Tuti wanted the window so she could watch “the ground go away.” Katie sat in the middle.

  John still couldn’t quite believe she was here beside him. When he’d looked across the departure lounge and seen her hurrying toward him he’d thought his imagination had conjured her out of his longing.

  Could it really be true? Was Katie his at last?

  The airplane began to back onto the runway. John twisted in his seat to kiss her. “Are you sure about us? I couldn’t take it if you backed out now. Tuti couldn’t take it.”

  “I won’t,” she said earnestly. “I’ve worked out some things…about my past, my mother’s death.”

  “What made you change your mind?”

  “I realized that all my life I’ve been waiting for the other shoe to drop. I thought that because my mother died of cancer, because I had it so young, that sooner or later I would get it again. And die, like she did.” Katie’s eyes filled. “But that’s not necessarily true. And anyway, I can’t live like that. I have to live bravely, with courage.”

  “You’re braver than you give yourself credit for.”

  Now the airplane was trundling down the runway. The flight attendant came by and made sure their seat belts were fastened. Katie helped Tuti with hers then turned to John.

  “How did you know my mother had the gene that predisposed her to breast cancer?”

  “My mother told me a few years ago. Your mother must have told her. They used to have coffee together when Riley and I were little and we needed our mums to take us to play at each other’s houses.”

  He wiped away the moisture clinging to her lower lid. “You could get the genetic testing. That might ease your mind.”

  “Or depress the hell out of me.” She lifted her chin. “But you’re right, it’s better to know. I’ll do it.” Then she frowned. “And if it’s positive…”

  “We’ll deal with that if and when we come to it.”

  She turned his hand over and traced the veins on his wrist. “I will promise that if I ever do get cancer again I’ll do everything possible to get well.” She met his gaze, her eyes shining. “I don’t want to leave you and Tuti. I know how devastating that feels.”

  He folded her hand in his and brought it to his lips. “And I promise you that if you’re ever sick again for whatever reason I won’t leave you, not even if you push me away.”

  “I pushed you away because I was afraid of dying and leaving you behind—you and any children we might have. I won’t ever do that again. We’ve missed too many good years being apart.”

  “We’ll make up for that, don’t you worry.”

  The airplane picked up speed as it moved down the runway.

  Tuti glanced around, excited. “Bapa, Katie, we’re going fast!” Then she pressed her nose to the window again.

  Katie’s deep brown eyes sparkled. “November sixteenth.”

  John was at a loss. That was months away. “What about it?”

  “Our wedding day. You wanted me to pick a date. That’s what I choose. We always wanted a spring wedding.” Softly she added, “Remember?”

  He remembered their plans, the dreams they’d shared. His throat closed thinking of how they could start making new plans, for themselves and Tuti. And children of their own.

  He smiled. “I suppose you think you can rule the roost now that you’ve made me the happiest man alive.”

  “Well,” she said coyly. “I do have some conditions.”

  “I knew it.” He braced himself as g-forces pressed him against the seat back. The plane was nearing takeoff.

  “I want Tuti to practice on the boogie board in a pool before she goes in the ocean again.”

  “Is that all? Whew, I’m getting off lightly.”

  “There’s more.”

  He began to roll his eyes until
he realized she’d turned serious. Outside the engines were screaming at high rev. “Go on.”

  “I know now that my parents didn’t have a conflict-free marriage. But fighting upsets me. And to leave issues unresolved goes against my grain. I need to talk things through before I feel better. I need a period of talking without anger before I’m ready to…” she lowered her voice to a whisper “…make love.”

  The plane left the ground.

  John let out his breath. “I’ll remember.” He brushed a lock of hair away from her eyes. “I hope you’ll remember that just because I get mad sometimes and we fight doesn’t mean I don’t still love you.”

  “Can I get that in writing?”

  “I’ll have it tattooed on my forehead if it will make you believe in yourself and in my love.”

  “I believe.”

  “Are you sure you’re okay with making the move to Tinman Island?”

  “Que sera sera,” she said airily. “I’m looking forward to taking time off from teaching, to give myself a shot at this writing gig. And I want you to find the challenge you need in your life. I want to support you, be by your side every step of the way.”

  “In that case, Katykins, or should I call you Lizzy, we’ll have to go on more adventures to give you something to write about.”

  Katie grinned. “Bring it on. I have a feeling being married to you will be my greatest adventure yet.”

  * * * * *

  Keep reading for an excerpt of The Road to Bayou Bridge by Liz Talley!

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