The Fall (The Siren Series)

by Higginson, Rachel

  Finally, I couldn’t take it anymore.

  It was late and the crowd behind us had become disorderly and loud. Anaxandra had given up trying not to grimace a half hour ago. Her face was constantly contorted in pain and Crete’s hand had long ago slipped into Eva’s dress. She stood as still as a statue, struggling to endure the awkward shaming.

  I had one ally left tonight.

  And even while I didn’t want to, I had no other choice.

  Turning into Nix, I laid my hands on his chest before sliding them slowly around his neck. I felt his chest rumble with approval and he immediately dropped his head to press his lips to my ear.

  “Had enough?” he asked in a silky voice.

  “Please, Nix,” I begged with a trembling voice.

  “Remember this, Ivy,” his words were harsh and promising. “This could be you. I could auction you as easily as anyone else. Remember how I treated you tonight. How you will leave with your dignity intact and your body as perfect as when you walked in.”

  I nodded quickly. I didn’t think either of those things were true. My dignity felt smashed to pieces and my body was the farthest thing from perfect. I was a shattered vase, a crushed flower… I was nothing but fragmented pieces of a girl that used to be.

  Or maybe never was.

  “Gentleman, it’s been a pleasure.” Nix addressed the men behind me; men I couldn’t even stomach to look at again. I buried my face in Nix’s collar. I realized how sick this was. I was fully aware that Nix had brought me into this situation to foster this dependency on him. He created this nightmare and then made himself my knight in shining armor.

  But what choice did I have?

  “We have much more to discuss, Poseidon.” Ky called him by his real name and a tingle of reality slithered down my spine.

  I tried to pull back, but Nix pressed his hand on my lower back, effectively trapping me against his body. His way of warning me.

  “And we will,” Nix promised. “When you are sober again.”

  “So next week,” Crete laughed.

  That in itself was bizarre enough for tonight. Hades making jokes? I wanted to go home now.

  “The girls will stay of course.” Ky sounded so sure of himself that I had this horrible feeling I wouldn’t be able to do anything for Anaxandra or Evaleen. I started to shiver uncontrollably thinking that I would have to leave them here, leave them as part of this.

  “You know I can’t do that,” Nix chuckled. “They aren’t paid for and their price tag is the steepest it will ever be.” Ky made a sound of disapproval and I heard Anaxandra wince from his outward show of disappointment. “Of course if you’re willing to pay tonight…”

  Ana sailed by me when apparently Ky decided he didn’t want to commit to her steep price tag tonight. And why should he when he wouldn’t have to pay for anything tonight.

  Benefits of an orgy… everything was gratuitous.

  “We’ll be in touch soon, Poseidon,” Crete promised.

  “I look forward to it.” Nix bowed his head and then ushered me from the tent. Ana and Eva followed closely at our heels.

  He didn’t let go of me for even a second as he led us back to the town car. We waited silently for the driver to appear and then Nix himself held our door while we squished in the backseat. He climbed in the front seat and instructed the driver where to go to drop Evaleen and then Anaxandra off.

  I held both girls’ hands on the way to their houses and caught their falling tear drops as they landed on my shoulders. We dropped Evaleen off first and she scurried inside without ever lifting her head to look back at us.

  When Anaxandra stepped out of the car at her house, Nix went with her and spoke to her for more than five minutes. I couldn’t hear what they were saying… but it wasn’t for lack of trying.

  Finally, he walked her to the door and then rejoined me in the quiet car. The driver started off again and I felt the first promise of freedom all day.

  Nix’s oppression had been suffocating today… I had never felt more exhausted or drained. I couldn’t imagine another day like this.

  Or a lifetime.

  I couldn’t imagine another minute like this.

  We pulled up to the circular drive of my condo complex and sat in silence for several moments. Finally, Nix took my hand and played with my fingers. His short nails made lines over my wrist and my palm before he would trail them up to the tips of my fingers and then back down again.

  Nausea boiled in my stomach and I had to shut my eyes to keep some part of me together.

  Finally, Nix spoke, “Whatever you think of those men, they will become my allies. And in the world we live in, allies are as important as enemies. What the Fates told you is true. You are the future of Olympus. And by my side we will take the mountain together. Those men will ensure that we get there.”

  “When?” I whispered. It was the only thing I could think to say.

  “A year from now,” he answered. “When you’re eighteen. I promised your mother I would let you graduate from high school while she is confined to this town. But that is the only reason I hold back now.”

  I thought of my mother dangling from the end of his chokehold earlier tonight. What kind of promise did he feel obligated to keep to a woman he would strangle in front of her own daughter?

  I nodded.

  I moved my hand to the door handle and retracted my hand from his tender hold.

  “Ivy,” he called out just as the door opened. I half turned back but kept my eyes averted from his. “Just because I have not taken you yet, does not mean you do not belong to me. Do you understand? After tonight, do you understand what that means?” His voice sunk into my skin, deceptively gentle and coaxing.

  “I understand, Nix.” I climbed out of the car and let the door slam behind me. I walked into my apartment with his words bouncing from one side of my head to the other. Did I understand that I belonged to Nix?

  Absolutely.

  Which was why I had to leave.

  As soon as possible.

  Chapter Nine

  He was waiting for me when I walked into Phoenix’s the next night. The house was packed with obnoxious classmates of mine that were already well beyond plastered.

  My heart jumped to my throat and my feet forgot what they were doing. I stumbled into Exie who shot me a weird look. Sloane grabbed my elbow and steadied me out.

  Usually our entrances were something out of terrible teenage high school movies. We would walk into a room and people would swear it happened in slow motion. We were pretty on our own, but together we were… legendary. Which was kind of a problem.

  Not tonight though. Instead of our careless grace that came packaged with our stellar DNA and lifelong servitude, I made a fool of myself from step one.

  Awesome.

  Ryder did not look amused.

  His back leaned against the banister and his eyebrows dipped low over furious gray eyes. His smile turned down into a grim frown and his toe tapped out an angry rhythm.

  “Excuse us, ladies,” he spoke to my friends, never taking his eyes off mine. Before I could ask him what he was talking about, he reached for my hand and yanked me to his side. “You and I need to talk,” he growled in my ear, his lips tickling the tender flesh.

  I knew he was right. I knew he was mad I hadn’t shown up last night to practice. But there was a hell of a lot he didn’t know.

  And it wasn’t exactly fair for him to be so upset with me.

  I didn’t get the chance to tell him that, though, while he dragged me along upstairs with him. I shot Exie and Sloane an apologetic look but they just waved me on. Apparently they didn’t think I was in any great danger.

  He didn’t let go of my hand or slow his pace until we were safely shut away in Phoenix’s room. The rumble of the party vibrated on the soles of my feet. Everything was muffled in this private space. We were alone. And I felt the isolation as acutely as I felt Ryder standing in front of me, breathing heavily and tugging one of his ro
ugh hands through his untamed hair.

  I pulled my gaze back to his, prepared for a lecture on responsible friendship. Instead of anger and resentment dancing in those gunmetal depths there was something much hotter… something much brighter.

  We stood there just inches apart from each other. I could feel his energy like it was a palpable fire consuming his body. He vibrated from it, quivering and bouncing like a cluster of atoms. His body seemed to shimmer in front of me because there was just too much verve to contain in his too-confined body. He couldn’t hold it in. He couldn’t contain the force that built inside of him as quickly as his intake of breath. He was the tremors before the earthquake hit off the Richter Scale. He was the earth rumbling before the volcano erupted.

  He was the blinding light before the star exploded into a supernova.

  An entire minute past while we stared at each other, absorbing each other like the surface of the sand absorbs the sun or like a mirror reflects so perfectly. His energy became mine. He breathed me into him and added me to his building intensity.

  And then all at once he burst.

  His mouth descended to mine with hungry precision. Our lips mashed together with punishing, greedy kisses. His tongue pushed past my lips and I let him consume me in those delicious moments.

  We tangled together and fell back on Phoenix’s bed. Ryder pushed over me, cradling me beneath him in a gentleness that warred with his bruising, biting kisses. I shoved my fingers through his hair and let my fingers tangle in his messy locks.

  We wiggled and scooted back with jerking, fighting movements until my head rested on a pillow and Ryder’s body lowered to his side. He cupped my jaw in his calloused hand and slowed his assault on my mouth.

  He went from frantic to tender in a breath and I shivered beneath the searing heat of his touch. Our mouths moved in a slow dance against each other. He kissed me until my breath staggered in my chest and my fingers trembled as I tried to touch him.

  There was something innocent about this moment, something exploratory and fragile. The desire he brought to life inside me was so much deeper than simple, base lust. It was deeper than my soul, bigger than my heart. I tasted him and the feel of him dug into my bones and bloomed through my blood. He imprinted on my future and claimed my present. He was so much more than a friend.

  So much more than a man that was stealing my heart.

  He was Ryder. My Ryder.

  “Ivy,” he whispered, resting his forehead on mine.

  One of my hands left his hair and caressed the rough stubble of his jaw. He never had a lot of hair along his jaw, but at the end of the day there was always a sandpapery feel of growth that roughened my fingers and reminded me of the pads of his fingers from playing so much guitar.

  I turned my body so that I was also on my side and could face him.

  “Don’t pull away.” His voice was pleading as his minty breath fanned over my face.

  I shook my head, too far into this to fight it anymore. “I won’t,” I promised. “I can’t.”

  “Do you trust me?” For the first time since I had known him, he sounded unsure.

  He sounded afraid.

  “I trust you.” And I did. I trusted him to tell me the truth. I trusted him to know himself and whether he was under my influence or making decisions based on his own free will.

  I trusted Ryder completely.

  I didn’t trust myself for even a second.

  But I would deal with that tomorrow. I was too afraid tonight to deal with that.

  I moved closer to him and threw my arms around his neck. I snuggled as close to him as I could, drinking in the warm security his body offered. He pressed against me and we lay like that for a long time.

  Wrapped in his arms I felt like I could breathe again. I felt like I could survive again.

  He represented these solid moments in my life that didn’t seem so depressingly hopeless. When I wasn’t with him, those feelings of security and future-freedom shifted from under my feet like sifting sand.

  I couldn’t have him forever, but while I did have him, I would worship these moments until they became real.

  Until they became my reality.

  “Why did you miss practice?” His voice got lost in my hair and I could feel his words as they vibrated through his lean body.

  If I had my way, I would never leave this bed.

  Or his arms.

  Not ever.

  “Something happened,” I whispered.

  He pulled back immediately and inspected my face for harm. His hands tangled through my hair and he pressed another fast kiss to my lips as if he wouldn’t get the chance again, as if I’d be ripped from his arms and dragged through a portal by the hands of hell.

  “I’m fine,” I assured him. “Physically, I’m fine.”

  “Can you talk about it?”

  “I’m not sure,” I said honestly. How could I explain that to Ryder? How could I show him my world and then expect him to understand? “But, we talked before. About finding a place for me to go. I’m ready.” My words were faint whispers of truths I wasn’t ready to believe yet. “I can’t wait, Ryder. I need to find some place to go now.”

  “My house,” he offered immediately. Which was really sweet. Super naïve, but really sweet.

  I shook my head sadly. “It has to be somewhere far away. He’ll hunt me down. I have to disappear completely.”

  “Where is that?” Ryder asked sweetly.

  It sounded impossible to him too, but he was giving me my sanity by going along with my demands.

  “I don’t know. But I have to go. I have to leave or he’s going to take me. He’s insane. What he will do to me… is doing to me… he’s out of his mind. I can’t, I can’t do this any longer.” Tears dripped from my eyes and soaked Phoenix’s white pillowcase. I felt a little bad for ruining Phoenix’s pillowcase with my gloopy mascara and eyeliner, but not enough to stop crying.

  Although, now that I started, I didn’t know if it was possible for me to stop.

  He wrapped his arms as tightly around me as if he could absorb all of my pain and fear, and crushed me to his body. Our legs naturally tangled and my hands fit in a prayer position between us. He laid his chin on the top of my head and with the patience of a saint let me sob it out into his gray t-shirt.

  The tears wouldn’t stop. They just kept coming and coming until his t-shirt was soaked and my voice was nothing but hoarse, croaking rasps.

  “It’s going to be alright, Ivy. I’m not going to let him hurt you. I’m going to get you out of this… take you away from him.” He continued to murmur those soothing words into my ear and after a while I started to believe him. I started to actually hear the words, acknowledge them as possibilities. He promised me a new future. He promised me safety and a lifetime of easy-breathing.

  He promised me choices and free will.

  “Ryder, please always remind me of why I need to go. Don’t let me forget.”

  “Red…” His voice sounded choked with emotion as he spoke against my forehead. “Nothing will keep me from saving you. Not even you.”

  I looked up at him with wet eyes and let him see all the broken, fragmented pieces of me. Those words were the most beautiful sounds that had ever been spoken and I fell for Ryder infinitely more.

  I had a feeling this wasn’t the last time either. I would fall for him every day that I got to be with him; every moment spent with him would take me closer to my end, to his end. He would continue to be himself.

  And I would just continue to fall.

  I kissed him again. I pressed my salty, wet lips against his and tasted him again. I couldn’t get enough. I didn’t want to get enough.

  I knew I had to run and that Ryder couldn’t go with me. So maybe this was another form of my destruction. It was only a matter of time before I had to leave him. I wanted to savor every second with him. I wanted to give myself over to every moment and small second of time I got to share with him.

  As I kissed hi
m with all the passion I was capable of, I realized leaving him would be the hardest thing I would ever do.

  Honor would be difficult, as well, but she was my sister and I wanted to keep her as far away from this world as possible. By leaving her, I was helping to protect her and save her.

  I could never risk that with Ryder. He would either accidentally get me caught or I would hurt him after enough time had passed. I would kill him. He might not fall under the curse but the repercussions of spending time with me were still very real.

  I had a year with him at most.

  I wanted every minute we were together to count.

  And he didn’t seem to mind.

  “Ivy!” a drunken voice interrupted our sweet moment. “Ivvvvvvvvy!”

  We pulled apart and gave each other a funny look. “Who is that?” I asked him.

  “Ivvvvyyyyyyy!” The drunkard pounded on the door. “We needta talk!”

  I gasped. “Is that Chase?”

  Ryder shook his head adamantly, “No way.”

  “Ivy. Ivy. Ivy. Ivy. Ivy,” he chanted. “Why did you leave me? Why wasn’t I good enough?”

  “Oh, gosh,” I groaned.

  “I don’t believe this,” Ryder grumbled.

  He made a move to stand up and I grabbed his arm to hold him in place. “This is my fault.”

  “This is your fault that Chase got drunk enough to piss all over his emotional filter? I don’t care what kind of superpowers you have, Red, you did not make him start acting like an idiot.”

  “You’re only saying that because you’re not affected. You have no idea how easily I can turn a boy into an idiot.”

  He sat up and adjusted his clothes. “Believe me,” he drawled. “I have an idea.”

  “Ivy!” Chase shouted through the door. “Is it because I can’t sing? I can sing! If you need me to sing, I can sing!”

  And then he started singing.

  “Oh, no,” I buried my face in the pillow trying not to laugh. “I didn’t really believe you before.”

  “About what?” Ryder asked from the edge of the bed.

  “That he was that tone deaf,” I laughed.

  Ryder looked back at me from over his shoulder and grinned. “He’s terrible.”