by Marius Thue
Thoke's eyes grow wide. Can this be true or is it another one of Dorkas's lies?
“Liar,” Thoke says calmly.
“No, I promise! Your father's alive as well!” Dorkas almost speaks faster than his mouth can keep up. “I saw him the day after I got back to our old camp. I swear to you, I saw him. I never lied about that. I just avoided telling you. Pull me up and I will tell you everything.”
Thoke feels unsure about this, so he waits for a moment while he considers what to do. Dorkas has hidden so much from him, so this might just be another one of those things. It might be too good to be true, but he cannot let this go without hearing more. He grabs Dorkas's arms and pulls him up, holding him at eye level. His legs still dangle off the edge of the cliff.
“Where?” Thoke asks.
“I saw Thorkar by the campsite. He had lost an eye, it seemed. It was his tracks I told you about, those who ended up leading nowhere. That was the gods’ doing. They came in their flying boat and pulled him up with them.”
“The gods?” Thoke feared this. “What of Skarn, then?”
“I saw him much later, only a few summers past. Not far from here in fact, further south, though. I can show you. He might still be there.”
Thoke drops his hands a bit lower and gazes out over the mountain.
“They're out there somewhere, I'm sure of it, and I must find them,” Thoke whispers to no one in particular.
“The gods are the real enemy, Thoke,” Dorkas continues pleading. “They did all of this to us. We're just their playthings to do with as they please. I saw them here, you know. Right here on this peak. In truth, that's why I built my village here.”
Without knowing it, Thoke has dragged Dorkas back over the edge and loosens his grip on him. His body is filled by hope as he looks out over the forest and mountains.
Suddenly Dorkas has somehow managed to sneak up behind him and drives his dagger far into Thoke's back. He roars out in pain and falls down on his stomach.
“Now, Thoke, we'll see about that fall.” Dorkas sounds like a hissing serpent. “I've got to be careful not to throw you too far. I don't want to the pond to lessen your fall.”
Just then, Thoke hears a splashing sound. It moves in the beat of someone running.
Over the pond, Rhekir comes running at great speed. He throws himself at a surprised Dorkas, who has no time to react. They both disappear over the edge of the cliff. A long silence follows, before it's broken by a distant splash.
Thoke feels his entire body burning. Every part of him feels as if it's on fire. He can barely lift his head and pull himself toward the edge. Every stroke makes his body scream in pain.
He looks down the sheer cliff and at the rock and water below. All he can see are the ripples stretching in rings across the surface. The ice around the edges has been knocked free and begins to glide over the water.
Before long, the ice embraces the entire pond, making it seem invisible among the snow and ice around it. The pond is gone just like they are. Both have disappeared under the ice.
Thoke lies looking down into the lifeless abyss. The feeling in his legs gradually dissipates along with the burning pain.
“Neera,” he whispers.
The half-moon glides across the sky toward the horizon. Thoke stares at it as it fades away, along with his consciousness.
CHAPTER 25
The moon is replaced by the sun, which casts its light on the mountaintop. Thoke wakes as he feels the sun’s heat on his hands. He can hear footsteps behind him as someone approaches.
Neera bends down and touches the bloody dagger sticking out of Thoke's back. Quickly, she jerks it free, but Thoke doesn't even flinch. He's awake, she sees, but his eyes are distant and hazy.
“I'll get help, my love. Hang on,” she says softly before kissing his cheek above his beard.
She runs down the mountain faster than she would normally dare. Not far down the mountain, she finds Janeg, Serk, and Gerak walking up toward the top. On their way up the mountain, she had no patience to wait for them, so she went on ahead.
Thoke once again awakes, this time from the sound of several people talking beside him. Suddenly he's lifted up into the air, feeling like he's floating. He sees Neera and Serk holding his arms and Gerak and Janeg carrying him by the legs.
On the way down the mountain, he falls to sleep and wakes multiple times. He dreams about the time before the blizzard hit. He’s sitting by the campfire with his mother, father, sister, and brother. His uncle Helok and Dorkas are there as well.
They are listening to Grym telling bold stories about his many dangerous hunts. The wolf Grym claims to have killed with his bare hands becomes bigger with each night the story is told.
Dorkas looks at Thoke and smiles. A kind smile, a brotherly smile. There's no smugness, no sly or angry feel to it. It feels good and makes Thoke want to smile himself. They both know Gryms' story has taken on a life of its own but in no way will they ever dare to mock it. Grym the gentle but yet terrifying giant. No bigger man will ever exist, Thoke thinks. Even the beast Org would have to look straight into Grym's eyes.
This life is a life without worries. Every time Thorkar and the others leave for the hunting grounds where the traps are set, they always return with food a plenty. Sometimes they even head for the coast to trade meat and furs for fish and seal oil. Thorkar the Wise, they called him, and truly he was.
No one dared to mess with a tribe that had the giant men of Thorkar and Grym to fight for them. Not even the more numerous tribes in the south dared put up a fight when they came on rare visits. His mother said even the gods would feel doubt when Thorkar and Grym lifted their spears.
As they sit next to the fireplace, a green light begins to dance across the night sky. For a long time they remain watching it in awe. This happens often in the winter, but they never tire from it. The lights move and change shapes as the stars watch them from above.
“Those are the spirits of our ancestors,” Mother would say. “Up there they get to move among the gods and never have to go hungry again.” The light stretches out far and wide before contracting once again. Suddenly it stretches all the way into a single small point.
It becomes brighter and brighter, making Thoke blinded by the sharp light. He tries to put one hand over his eyes, but he cannot move. Out of the light, a dark hand comes out and grabs his own, squeezing it tight.
Thoke wakes up with a burst, confused and sweaty from his dreams. He feels dizzy and nauseous as he sits up. His back feels sore where the dagger struck. Once again, Neera sits by his side inside their hut.
“Calm down,” she says gently. “Let me have a look.”
Thoke turns so she can see his back. A long strip of moose fur has been wrapped around his stomach to cover the wound. Neera pulls it off to see how the wound has healed.
“The scar looks nasty, but the worst seems to be over now,” she says, once again in a gentle voice.
“Rhe—” is all Thoke manages to say before coughing. Neera hands him water in a hollowed out bone, and he drinks it all down. “Rhekir, have you found him?” he continues once finished drinking.
Neera’s face grows sad, and she looks down at her hands. She seems to struggle getting words out.
“We found our dear boy after the last ice melted,” she explains. “He rests by his sister and the others who died by the ravages’ doing.”
“Both our children gone,” he says, putting his face in his hands. “I shouldn't have been so hard on him after what happened to Larii.”
“You woke at times, asking for him and Larii, before crying yourself back into unconsciousness,” Neera says.
“I did?” Thoke looks up in confusion. “My dreams felt so real it was difficult to know what truly happened at times.”
“What's happened has happened, my love,” Neera pulls his head to her chest. “They are both with the gods now and will never feel the pain of this world like we now do.”
“How can you be this s
trong?” Thoke asks, feeling the comfort she gives him.
“It's been heavy, of course, but I've gotten by somehow.”
“You must be the strongest woman ever to draw breath,” Thoke looks up at his woman, in awe of her strength.
“The gods gave you strength on the outside and offered me strength on the inside. This is how we were made for each other.”
Thoke stretches up, feeling the pain in his back. He plants a kiss on her lips so good he forgets to breathe until he has to stop.
“What of Dorkas?” His voice darkens but the question has to be asked.
“We did not find him,” Neera says as they separate. “Hopefully he lies rotting on the deepest bottom of the pond.”
“Let us hope so.” Thoke feels his mind wandering again, thinking about the time he and Dorkas angered a mother bear. He never knew what happened to the cub as it vanished along with his old tribe.
“Dorkas's village burned to the ground, palisade and all,” Neera tells him. “The ravages scurried off. No one knows where. The children are with us and are doing well. We have been living off fish and the caribou you caught. Luckily those who remained when we left wrangled them up before they were consumed by the fires.”
“We're still by the village?” Thoke wonders.
“Too many were hurt and needed to heal,” she explains.
“What of the others who joined our attack?”
“Terot was badly hurt, but he still lives. Hoster was killed by a ravage in Dorkas's village.”
“He was a true warrior.”
“True, but now that you have woken we need to leave for new lands. Summer has passed and the night light has gone again. Some have already left, but some, like me, have refused to leave until you were back with us.”
“Wander on, why?” Thoke pulls away and lies on his back, feeling the wound ache as he does so. “We have nothing left to wander for.”
“We have lost much, but not all,” Neera pulls him back up to a seated position. “We cannot just lie down and die because our children have left this world. Our time will come, and then we will get to see them again, I know, but this is not our time.”
Thoke shrugs and tries to recline, but Neera won't let him.
“A life without them can barely be called life,” Thoke protests.
“A life is always worth living. It's a gift we must hold on to with both hands. We have to fight to keep it. Life is a struggle not to die, and we cannot succumb to it,” Neera holds Thoke by the beard. “Your tribe needs you now more than ever. Janeg, Serk, Gerak, Terot, Diseni, and Sevi have all stayed with their families, waiting for you to heal. They love you and need your guidance.” She grabs his hand and pulls him to a standing position. “Come, let us go to the stone circle. There we can sit with our children once again.”
Thoke can feel pain stretching all the way out to his fingertips and into his toes. His legs barely respond to his commands as every step feels heavy.
They climb out of the hut, feeling the warm rays of the sun lighting up the day. Thoke's eyes need a moment to adjust. He can see that the camp has been moved into a part of the forest that was untouched by the fires.
To his right he sees what once was the village, lying in burnt ruins. Only a few half-burnt logs lie visible among a heap of ash and coal. He imagines what it must have looked like right after, before rain washed most of the ashes away.
All members of the tribe drop what they are doing and look to Thoke as he makes his way to the stone circle. Janeg is now the tribe’s elder and has at that taken on his father’s role as shaman. While Thoke recovered, he and Neera have been in charge.
Thoke and Neera sit down on their knees inside the circle, holding each other in an embrace while mourning their children. The rest of the tribe has gathered around them, sharing their grief. Janeg and Diseni sits together in an embrace, and Thoke notices after a while.
“What's happening with those two?” he wonders.
“Thoke,” Neera sighs. “You can see a pine cone on a mountaintop hundreds of steps away but not what's happening right in front of your nose.” She chuckles a bit while wiping away tears of sadness. His shortcomings seems to have lifted her spirits somehow.
“What?” he asks, feeling as stupid as Neera must think he is.
“Janeg and Diseni have been a pair of sorts for quite some time,” Neera explains.
“Really? But what of Hiro?” For a moment Thoke begins to doubt himself. Hiro was Diseni's man wasn't he? Or was that just one of his many dreams?
“Well, when Kora died and Hiro disappeared, Janeg and Diseni found comfort in each other’s arms,” Neera tells him. “When Hiro came back, Diseni was pregnant. He was convinced he was the father, and Diseni never had the heart to tell him otherwise.”
“Who else knows about this?” Thoke feels even more stupid now.
“Everyone, I think. Even Hiro knew as far, as I know.” Neera now looks at Thoke like one would a child while teaching them the ways of life. “Either he did or he closed his eyes to it, at least. All the others did as well, and no one really talked much about it. Diseni told me this herself, in fact. Hiro was just so happy to be a father, so we all pretended they were his. The poor man had gone through enough. Hiro and Diseni were together for many years without sprouting a child. Sadly, the gods had made Hiro sickly and without the possibility to reproduce.”
“So Janeg and Diseni kept together even after Hiro came back?” Thoke asks.
“They stopped at first, I believe, but Hiro never quite returned after the storm. Parts of him remained in the snow, in more ways than one. Diseni and Janeg never were together openly, though.”
“How did I miss this?” Thoke says, shaking his head.
“Even you must have some weakness, my love.” Neera smiles and kisses him on the lips.
Together they return to camp and sit down outside their hut. Diseni walks over and gathers the tribe to sit down with them. Thoke has his hollowed out bone and drinks the warm water inside.
“Something happened after you left for Dorkas's village,” she begins telling. “This is not easy to say, so I'll just say it outright. When we gathered up the dead, we placed ours in the stone circle and left the ravages in the still burning village. We felt unsure as to where to put Renai, and decided to wait for you to return to make the choice. We dragged her outside the village and laid her next to a tree. When Janeg returned, he said to bury her with our own, despite what she had done. However, when we went to get her, she was gone.”
Thoke crushes the bone in his hand, turning it into dust, making the tribe members jump back a bit.
“We don't know if someone carried her away, or if she lived to walk herself, but with all the things that have happened, it's difficult to know what people are capable of,” Diseni continues.
Thoke silently stands up and walks into the forest. Neera knows better than to follow him at this point. Thoke needs time to process such a reveal.
He walks around between the pale white trunks, pondering the news. His thoughts fall to the footprints that led up the mountain, the smaller bloody ones. Still, she could not possibly have survived getting stabbed in the throat. Though, stranger things have happened. If both Renai and Dorkas remain alive, no one will be safe.
CHAPTER 26
Almost an entire year passes. Thoke's body heals fast, but this injury took quite a while to shake off. Now only an ugly looking scar bears witness of the dagger once buried in his back.
The tribe has been wandering far south. Thoke doesn't want to return to the old hunting grounds and all those bad memories. There the dead will be allowed to rest undisturbed.
As soon as Thoke was able, he went up to the once frozen pond to look for Dorkas. For days he swam into its deepest parts without finding a thing. He looked for Renai for some time as well, but with similar results.
If Dorkas spoke the truth, then it means Skarn might still be out there somewhere, if he's been able to escape the gods, that is. He mig
ht be anywhere in the world, though, and Thoke has no idea how big that world might be. The rest of his family might be out there somewhere as well, although the gods may have taken them into the skies in their boats like Dorkas had said.
The most important thing to him now, the only thing keeping him going, is finding them. Traveling these great distances is a strain on his tribe, and he sees they're tired and uncomfortable so far from home.
They have set up camp by a large lake, hoping to catch some fish. It's been many moons since they last saw the salt sea, and some believe they are never to find it again if they keep going south.
Thoke strokes his long, black beard. The tie has fallen out, and he's about to finish a new one to replace it. He sits on a small rocky hill, carving out a strip of moose skin with his dagger.
The grass is green and lush down by the lake. Such strong and vibrant colors are a nice change from the dark rocks and bland moss of the mountains. Neera loves these surroundings, as it reminds her of her homelands. Snow and rock have never been for her.
With a fine little knot, Thoke fastens his beard again. Neera sits behind him tending the two braids on each side of his long, black hair. It glistens in the sunlight as she tightens them. They both feel better now as the pain of losing their children grows more distant. That's not to say it's gone, however.
Thoke holds out his rib bone necklace he got from his sister. Over the years he's had to replace all the bones with fresh ones, but it still holds the same significance to him. He wears it with pride as if it was the same one.
Thoke hasn't chosen this campsite only for its fish. They are to use the lake for hunting prey, a trick he learned from his father many years past. He doesn't partake as much during the hunts anymore, as he spends most of his time thinking and looking around at his surroundings, hoping one day to spot one of his family members. Chances are slim but still possible.
Neera and Thoke sit on the hill for nearly half the day, looking out on the lake. The sun glimpses in between the thin layers of clouds as it pulls the day with it.