by Marius Thue
Janeg and Serk each sit their little boats made of skin, out on the lake. On land a small deer comes running out of the forest, tightly followed by Gerak, Terot, and Diseni. They scream and yell at the animal, who in its escape jumps into the water. The hunters don't follow it far but make sure it swims some ways out into the lake.
The deer appears to be trying to swim across to the other side, falling right into the hunter’s trap. Janeg and Serk row toward their prey at full speed. In the water, the deer is clumsy and slow, and as it spots its attackers, it begins to thrash around. Janeg and Serk row in next to it and stabs it to death with their spears. Together, they drag the carcass to land. Tonight’s meal has been secured.
The tribe is a lot smaller than it was, standing at less than twenty members. Luckily they have a lot of experienced and skilled hunters.
Gerak has shown to become even more like his father. Thoke can barely see the difference anymore. With Janeg’s support and wisdom, he will be able to lead the tribe well in time. Thoke has thought about this a lot lately as he pushes the tribe harder each day. He will not rest before he has looked everywhere for his old tribe. He realizes now that the others cannot keep it up for much longer.
The chance of finding them is slim at best, but he cannot give up now. The tribe members are tired from the nonstop wandering, and they get further into unknown lands every day. Many have already complained, wanting to turn back and get to more familiar surroundings.
This day, while watching his tribe catch the deer without needing his help, he realizes they haven't needed him for a long time now. He decides then to let them return to their old hunting grounds.
He has gathered them all by the campfire after consuming parts of today’s catch. The sun still shines, and now no one wears the thick furs they usually do.
“I know you are all tired and want to go home,” Thoke begins. “I want you to do this now. Gerak, you're still young but have more than enough experience to lead this tribe as your father and grandfather once did. Janeg is a wise old man now.” His last words make Janeg growl, but quickly he begins to laugh instead. “Listen to the old one’s advice and let the tribe flourish once again,” Thoke finishes.
“Not all are touched by the gods and spared by the passing of days,” Janeg says jokingly.
“If you keep walking further south now, Thoke, you will meet us up north again,” Serk jests.
“Serk, you idiot,” Terot spits in mockery. “He won't meet us in the north. He will fall off into the abyss when he runs out of dirt.”
“So you think the world is flat, then?” Gerak asks, seeming genuinely interested to know.
“Of course,” Terot replies.
“Look around, you louse, does this look flat?” Serk stands and gestures at the hills around them. He seems to be getting aggravated.
“No, you log. It's like a giant flat but jagged rock. With the hills and mountains sticking out like so …” Terot flattens a hand and moves the other to illustrate.
“This is a whole new kind of stupid. The world is like a giant round but jagged rock. With the hills and mountains sticking out.” Serk tries to show him with his hands as well, though somewhat in a more aggressive fashion by making a fist.
“Alright, you two.” Janeg stops the argument. “This is a discussion you two never will reach an agreement on.”
“You two are always fun to listen to, but we have to leave now,” Thoke says.
Gerak stands and lays one hand on Thoke's shoulder. The others stands as well, looking on.
“I promise to take good care of the tribe. You are welcome back in at any time,” he says.
Thoke places his hand on Gerak's shoulder as well, nodding in agreement. Neera and Thoke say their goodbyes to the rest, making sure to hug each one. They will continue south as the tribe wanders back north.
Thoke and Neera get in one of the boats and begin to row across the lake. Once on the other side, they drag the boats on land before walking into the forest. At the forest’s edge, they turn to look across the lake.
In a warm embrace, they take a final look at their tribe, their family. They watch them walk into the forest across the lake before disappearing out of view for good.
CHAPTER 27
Over forests, mountains, and green plains, Thoke and Neera wanders for years. Snow and cold have become rare over the years as even the winters seems to never come in some places. Neera likes it better down by the plains and forests, so they keep away from any mountain for the most part.
Not only have they been going south, but also to the east. Thoke and Neera have wandered far away from the area they once called home. Even Neera has never been this far away from the place of her birth.
Over the years they have met all kinds of people, seen new animals, and learned many strange languages. They have even found the salt sea again, but here it's warmer and of a more blue color.
Despite all the wandering, they haven't seen Skarn, Thorkar, or any of the others. Dorkas and Renai have eluded them as well, which none of them feel too badly about. Thoke never gives up the hope of finding his family, and Neera never complains, following him wherever he goes.
In order to find them, simply wandering around won't do it. So they have been seeking out people wherever they go. They figure the best way of finding clues is to ask around if anyone has seen them. A giant man with one eye and man with icy-blue eyes and blond hair would stick out and be remembered, Thoke thinks.
For a while they thought they were close to Skarn. The couple followed a legend about a man who possessed the mighty strength of the gods. The stories varied in content, but they were always about a powerful man with long, bright or red hair. Sometimes he defeated his enemies with raw strength, but sometimes he could also harness the power of thunder and lighting.
Most of the stories lack credibility. Thoke has experienced that they often get exaggerated and twisted over time. He's still convinced that the stories are about his brother, however. Some have even mentioned his pale or icy-blue eyes.
One day, they came upon a small village down by the warm salt sea. There they were told that a large, blond man had defeated a wolf by twisting its upper and lower jaws in the opposite directions. This way he had saved the village from a threat that had been hanging over them for years.
After the triumph, the man had disappeared into the sky in a clap of thunder and blinding lighting. The story had been so promising, until the last part was told. Some of the people they met liked to tell a good jape.
More of these disappointments followed over the years, but Thoke and Neera have never given up hope. The stories pulled them further east, where the contents just got stranger and stranger. Many of the stories there say the man has gone back north to his homeland to be with his people in the mountains. Others say he's gone to live with the other gods, in their realm beyond this one.
Thoke and Neera decide to prepare for the journey back north. However, it seems they won't get very far. Neera seems tired from years of wandering. She has become an old woman now, Thoke realizes, and she can't keep going with these heavy days.
Simple things, like getting up in the morning, have become more difficult than they should be. Only Thoke's unwavering care for his dear old woman has kept her alive for this long.
The couple has set up camp on an open green plain. Grass stretches out as far as the eyes can see. A single large oak tree gives them shade from the intense sunlight. Rarely would they ever find this kind of heat back home.
Only thin animal skins are used now as furs are way too hot. Thoke barely wears anything at all. He only covers his privates from the heat of the day. Give me a day in the snow any day, he reflects.
Thoke helps Neera sit up straight by the trunk of the tree. He supports her as she sits so that she can better relax. The grass is soft under them. She lets the straws glide between her skinny fingers. A light breeze blows on her wrinkly face, and she draws in a deep breath of fresh air.
Gray hai
rs have nearly completely covered her once coal-black mane. Only a few black ones are scattered among a sea of gray and white. Thoke places some furs behind her back so she can support herself against something soft.
“Stop,” she says with a weak voice as she lays a hand on his arm. “Relax, Thoke, you don't need to tend to me any more now.”
Thoke stops for only a moment before once again making sure Neera I seated comfortably. She looks at him with demanding eyes, and he has no choice but to give in. He sits down next to her and lays one arm over her shoulder, holding her gently. She tips her head toward him, laying her forehead next to his jaw. He answers the gesture by kissing her where they meet.
“It's time, Thoke. The time has come for me to see our children again,” she whispers.
“Don't say these things, my love. I can see you are tired. We'll rest here for a few days, then we’ll head out once you've gathered your strength. We're getting close, I can feel it. Skarn might be over the next ridge,” Thoke says smiling, but then he sees the glaze in her eyes and how she struggles to keep them open. “What am I saying? I don't even know where we're headed. We're lost and Skarn might not even still be alive.”
“Thoke, my dear,” Neera looks up, whispering. “You may not know where you are headed, but you have to keep going. Don't let anything stop you. I must remain here, though.”
“Stop it now, I can't lose you as well.” Thoke strokes her chin gently.
“You never will as I will always be with you. I promise. You never were a god, I know, nor were you simply one touched by them. You're better, Thoke. You must embrace your abilities. Go out and find your family. Along the way you must protect innocent people against evil doers like Dorkas. One day you will gather a lot of people and lead them into a good life. I know you can do it. I've seen it. Do this if not for yourself then for me, Rhekir, and Larii. We will always follow your journeys. You're a good man, Thoke, the very best.” Neera's voice cracks at the end, and Thoke can see her struggling to stay awake.
“I never could say no to you.” He smiles, although sadly.
Neera's eyes keeps getting narrower. She gasps at the fresh summer air, but Thoke sees she struggles to draw it in. With a last burst of life, she looks up at Thoke, stroking his face and beard.
“My man, you're still as young and handsome as the day I met you,” she says, sounding like her old self again.
“And you're just as pretty,” he replies.
There's somehow joy in Neera's eyes, blended with more love than Thoke has ever dreamed to receive.
She looks deep into his eyes before blinking one last time, her eyes never to behold anything ever again. He kisses her hand and strokes her cheek. Tears slide gently from his eyes and disappear into his beard while he presses Neera against him one last time.
The day goes over into night, and the sun is about to fall behind the horizon. Thoke still sits under the tree, holding Neera's hand, his gaze never wavering from her for even a heartbeat. A part of him wishes she might suddenly burst awake. The pain of seeing her like this is beyond anything he's felt for many years. Her hand begins to feel cold in his own.
In the end he has to let go, as the sun shines on Neera for the last time. Thoke stands up and begins gathering wood for a pyre. He has to walk quite some distance to find enough as there are long distances between the trees. The oak, he will not touch.
The morning after Neera is gone. Thoke buries her ashes and bones in the ground a few steps away from the oak. He takes his time covering her up, feeling the weight of the work. On the site he decides to place a massive boulder to always know where she rests.
He finds a stone of an appropriate size a long way from the burial site. Even with Thoke's strength and endurance, it takes him days to get in in place. The boulder is so large he decides to use logs to roll it over. He and Neera saw this done further south some years past.
The boulder is taller than himself and almost just as wide. In the end, he gets it into place. Thoke likes to process grief this way, he realizes. Keeping busy and working makes it all go away for a while.
By the oak, the boulder will stand over Neera's buried remains. Now it will seem less lonely out on the plain.
Thoke remains by the site all summer, not being able to get himself to move on. He doesn't build any shelter but sits under the big oak tree day after day. Many days are spent reminiscing about the long life he has lived. There's been a lot of joy, but too much pain. Now he's lost his partner in life, the one human who stayed by his side wherever he went.
He struggles to find any point to it. Why even move on from here … and where to? With his eyes fixed on the sky, he tries to find answers up there but to no avail.
Thoke has lived for over seventy summers now but feels no different than he did at his twentieth. He climbs on top of the boulder and looks around the plain. Hopefully Neera was right, and she now walks the afterlife alongside Rhekir and Larii. It makes him wonder if he will ever die and get to see them again. So far nothing seems able to kill him, not even time.
Neera wanted Thoke to help other people against those who would do them harm. If Dorkas still walks around out there somewhere, then no one is safe. Thoke still has a purpose. Dorkas must be stopped, but only the gods will know where to find him.
Thoke climbs back down and sits under the tree, not wanting to leave. The gods, he thinks. It always comes down to the gods.
One night Thoke lies on his back, looking up at the stars. In quiet times like this, he lies by the boulder, talking to Neera as if she were there to answer. He knows her answers, though, so he fills in whatever he knows she would say.
The grass feels nice to lie on. Even though it's warm in the day, the nights can be cold, so Thoke wears his best furs while stargazing. His mind wanders all around, thinking about how it was the last time he spent time alone, before ever having met Neera.
The stars can take any shapes. He sees bears, wolves, and deer up there. All he needs to do is imagine lines between the lights. With the tip of a finger, he draws on the black sky. Meanwhile, he talks to Neera about what the different shapes look like, just as they often would do together. After the children were born, for some reason they did it less.
Just where Thoke holds his finger, a new star suddenly begins to shine. Slowly it begins to move across the sky. Thoke sits up in a jolt. It begins to grow bigger as it seems to be coming closer. Suddenly it changes direction and increases in speed.
Thoke has seen this before. This must be the gods who’ve cursed him to be this way. The light moves toward a chain of mountains in the distance.
Thoke roars in anger, feeling like they are the reason he now sits alone, unable to die. Grass goes flying as he runs after it. Using all his anger and frustration, he feels like he's running faster than ever.
For many days he pursues the light, running over hills, valleys, and small mountains. Thoke refuses to give up and never loses sight of it.
After a while, he loses track of how long he's been running. The days have begun to blur together as everyone feels the same. He doesn't even pay attention to where he's running to, as if he's in some kind of trance. All he can focus on is the bright light gliding slowly across the sky. Sometimes it will stand still for a while, making Thoke believe he might be able to catch up to it, but then it always shoots off again. It feels as if it might be luring him along.
Thoke stands on a tall mountain, feeling the freezing cold. It’s uncomfortable, even for him. The light disappears over the highest peak. Believing the light may have landed above, he picks up the pace even faster. At least this is a familiar landscape. Snow and mountains have always been his home.
As he gets to the top, he's met by a heartbreaking sight. The light has once again vanished. Thoke looks around in desperation. The peak is pointy and free of snow. There's not a lot of room up here to move, but it gives him a magnificent view of the surrounding mass of mountains. From here the whole world seems to be visible, but the light is not in si
ght.
Thoke falls down to his knees, feeling an empty void deep in his chest.
He releases a powerful scream out into the night sky. A lifetime of pain and suffering flow through his body. The loose rocks under him give way as they tremble, making Thoke fall a few steps down into a small dip by the peak.
Thoke doesn't even try to stop the fall. He lies on his back, black rocks surrounding him on every side. His will to stand and move on is nowhere to be found. It feels as if all life in him has fled.
Now he truly is alone in this wasted world. Thorkar, Sira, Skarn, Tseena, Larii, Rhekir, and Neera are all gone. All those he loved the most are dead or somewhere he might never find.
His mind drifts to a young Rhekir running around camp throwing rocks, to the time when he built the hut for the boy and Neera, to Larii jumping on him in the morning, so full of life. He sees Neera's beautiful eyes. Eyes he could drown in and be happy.
The snow begins to fall in thick and heavy sheets. Thoke remains still, looking up at the thousands of snowflakes. Without the will to rise, snow begins to cover him. Higher and higher, it rises up his body.
Thoke can feel the snow begin to cover his face and land on his eyelids. Darkness begins to spread, but he feels no need to move. He just wants to sleep—or die if it’s possible.
In the end, Thoke disappears completely under the masses. Once again, the mountain is cold and lifeless.
Table of Contents
PROLOGUE
CHAPTER 1
CHAPTER 2
CHAPTER 3
CHAPTER 4
CHAPTER 5
CHAPTER 6
CHAPTER 7
CHAPTER 8
CHAPTER 9
CHAPTER 10
CHAPTER 11
CHAPTER 12
CHAPTER 13
CHAPTER 14
CHAPTER 15
CHAPTER 16
CHAPTER 17
CHAPTER 18
CHAPTER 19
CHAPTER 20
CHAPTER 21
CHAPTER 22