Between Land and Sea

by Joanne Guidoccio

  While Barbara nodded in agreement, her insides were in turmoil. She wasn’t certain if she was wired for a long-term relationship. As it was, she planned to leave Carden in less than a year. She wondered what Janice and the others would think of her then. She forced a smile and tried to speak in a more controlled voice. “I had a fling with him. I guess it could be classed as a one-night stand. I didn’t expect him to send flowers.”

  “What does he mean by the 190 days?” Janice asked.

  “The book is coming out in the summer. I’ll be going down to Chicago in late June.” She decided not to tell Janice about the deadline she had imposed on Stewart.

  “Hmm. You are definitely in bed with the man, in more ways than one. You don’t want to jeopardize your future in the literary world. From what I hear, he is well connected in both the U.S. and Canada. And as your agent, he will be spending a lot of time with you for the next year or more.” She took a deep breath and continued. “Call him and tell him to stop sending you flowers. Speak firmly and insist on a professional relationship.” A thoughtful look appeared on her face. “How attached are you to these flowers?”

  Barbara shrugged. “I don’t really want them. But I shouldn’t just throw them away.”

  “Let me take them to the nursing home near my house. I’ll ask the receptionist to give them to a couple of the ladies who don’t receive too many visitors.” She started to pick up the flowers. “You probably don’t want Graham to see another man’s flowers in your apartment. And about Graham, you should tell him about Stewart.”

  “I can’t do that right now. I feel so embarrassed and ashamed.” Barbara started to cry softly.

  Janice stroked her arm and let her finish crying. “You don’t have to do it this weekend, but think about doing it soon. It’s better if he hears it from you.”

  Barbara gasped. “You don’t think Stewart will call him.”

  “No, I was thinking more about the local gossip machine. You have a number of very observant and talkative colleagues who might tell a few other people about the flowers. That could get back to Graham.” Janice looked at her watch and pointed to the telephone. “I’ve got a few more letters to send before I leave. Why don’t you call Stewart from here? It will sound more businesslike.”

  Barbara waited until Janice closed the door of her office. She took out her address book and found Stewart’s phone number. She dialed the number and could hear her heart pounding as she waited for him to answer. Part of her hoped she could get away with leaving a message on his voice mail.

  “Barbara! I was hoping you would call.” The familiar voice unsettled her.

  “I’m calling about the flowers. I don’t want you to send me any more flowers.”

  “You don’t like them?” He sounded hurt.

  “The flowers are lovely, but I don’t appreciate receiving them. You agreed to give me time and space. You have not done that.”

  “So, no more flowers.”

  “That’s right.”

  No one spoke for a few seconds. He sighed. “I still think about Monday. I haven’t forgotten about that afternoon we spent together. Have you, Barbara?”

  She did not dare admit that he had occupied the lion’s share of her thoughts all week. She decided to ignore his question. “You promised to give me time and space, Stewart.”

  “Enjoy your weekend, Barbara.” He sounded amused.

  “Goodbye, Stewart.” She hung up quickly.

  Chapter 29

  It was back to normal, or more precisely a pins-and-needles normal. After one week of no flower deliveries, Barbara started to relax and get into the spirit of the holiday season. It was her first Christmas holiday and she was looking forward to it. In the kingdom, they had celebrated the fifteenth of each month with a festival. And of course there were always birthday parties.

  Graham had not celebrated Christmas since Marjorie’s death. This year, he was determined to make up for lost time. Each day, he called or met with Barbara to talk about the food, decorations, or gifts.

  She took out a few craft books from the library and created wreaths, swags, and tree ornaments. She ended up decorating her own apartment and Graham’s house. Together they searched for trees and found two perfect ones, a small one for her apartment and a majestic seven-footer for Graham’s house.

  She was also spending more time at Graham’s. While she had been there a few times for dinner, it seemed that Graham was more comfortable spending time in her apartment. They always had sex at her place. As she walked through the house, she realized that, in many ways, it was still a shrine to Marjorie. Pictures of her could be found in every room.

  When Graham wasn’t looking, Barbara took a closer look at the photos of this delicate, fragile-looking woman who had captured and held Graham’s heart for almost thirty years. But beneath that serene blonde exterior, she could see traces of boundless love and passion. Marjorie had been a homebody, content to raise her family and illustrate children’s books in the makeshift studio Graham had created for her.

  Barbara examined the shabby furnishings which had not been updated in years. The house itself had good bones and with the right touch it could look stunning. It was similar in size and structure to the Furness home in Chicago. There, Doris and Edgar had spared no expense in showcasing their home. But would Graham welcome any decorating suggestions? He seemed content with the status quo and might object to any changes that might diminish or destroy Marjorie’s memories.

  Why I am even thinking about decorating this house? I won’t be here long enough to live in it. She forced herself to focus on the task on hand and finished decorating the banister. As she made her way down the stairs, she saw Graham at the door with a stack of gaily decorated parcels. He placed them under the tree and stood back, admiring the growing pile of gifts.

  “That must be it, the last of the gifts. If you’re not careful, there won’t be any room for Santa’s gifts.” Barbara said with an easy smile.

  Graham’s eyes twinkled. “There’s always room for one more gift.”

  Barbara had never seen him so happy. At times like this, she realized just how kind and thoughtful he really was. The Christmas season was bringing out his younger, less encumbered side and making him look even more attractive. She sighed. That’s all she needed to further complicate her life.

  “Another sigh.” Graham spoke with concern. “Since you got back from Chicago, you’ve been sighing a lot. And you look a bit startled whenever someone knocks on a door or enters a room. Do you want to talk about it?”

  Barbara hadn’t realized that her nervousness about Stewart and his gifts was noticed. She managed a half smile. “I guess Chicago was a bit too much for me. There was lots of activity and movement.”

  “There’s no need to go back there again. Call up that agent and tell him to meet with you in Toronto. Lots of agents do that for their writers.” He added, “If you want, I can talk with him.”

  That must never happen, she thought. Stewart must never meet Graham. She cleared her throat. “There’s no need to do anything now. I don’t have to meet with him until the summer.”

  “That’s all right then.” His eyes suddenly lit up. “I can go with you. I’d love to see the Art Institute again. And I hear there’s a new park behind it.”

  “Millennium Park,” Barbara said. Her smile was frozen in place. She couldn’t imagine Graham with her in Chicago. And visiting Stewart’s favorite haunts. It was unthinkable. She spoke in a neutral tone. “I’ll let you know as the time gets closer.”

  Graham, pleased, glanced around the room. “You’ve done an amazing job with the decorations. I can hardly wait for the kids to see all this.”

  Barbara welcomed the change of subject. “So, when are they coming?”

  “They’re all coming on the twenty-third and leaving early on the twenty-sixth. He added, “They won’t be able to stay for the Open House. I had to arrange for their Red Car. I’ve never had to do that before.”

  Sinc
e Marjorie’s death, the children always left after only a couple of days. They did not want to spend too much time in this house filled with ghosts of Christmases past. Four years after Marjorie’s death, Graham was only now starting to move on.

  He was looking at her intently. Barbara had agreed to spend this weekend before Christmas getting the house cleaned and decorated. While she had accomplished a lot that morning, an afternoon of work awaited them. There was definitely lust in Graham’s eyes, but he would not initiate anything here, not with Marjorie’s picture staring at them in every room. And they didn’t have time to run over to her apartment for a quickie.

  While they had sex a number of times since she returned from Chicago, Barbara felt guilty and uneasy afterward. What she really needed was a month or two without sex. She wanted time to clear her mind and think rationally about the two men in her life. Be careful what you wish for . . . you may get it. She shivered as that intrusive thought materialized in her mind.

  “I can turn up the thermostat.” Graham started to move toward the other room.

  Sometimes, he was just so solicitous, it was almost suffocating. She wondered if Stewart would be like this if they lived together. While the sex with Stewart was all-consuming, she doubted he would hang on her every word or gesture. She definitely needed her space. Space was something she had never even thought about in the mermaid kingdom. There, she had been constantly surrounded by other young mermaids and had frequent meetings with Annabella.

  Annabella. The familiar anger and resentment did not rise to the surface. Did she miss Annabella? That last thought was surprising and brought a sad smile to her face. She was moving on.

  “Barbara! Barbara!”Graham was waving his hands in front of her.

  “Sorry! I was just thinking of my grandmother.”

  “You’ve never mentioned her before. Is she still living?”

  “She is no longer with us.” Barbara pointed toward the boxes in the living area. She had spent most of the morning collecting and organizing the children’s yearbooks, awards, and other school memorabilia. “Those boxes should be moved to the basement. Gwen and Peter can look through them and decide what they want to keep.”

  Graham raised his eyebrows at the sudden change of subject. “Great. I really appreciate all the time you’re spending here. I don’t think I could have done it without you.”

  Barbara squeezed his arm. “I’ve enjoyed it. I’m looking forward to meeting your children and hosting the Open House. This holiday will be one to remember for all of us.” She spoke sincerely.

  Graham looked at her carefully. “I don’t want you overdoing it. For the past two weeks, you’ve been going nonstop. You work all day at the office and then spend your evenings and weekends baking, cleaning, and decorating. I don’t want you collapsing on Christmas Day.”

  “Not to worry. I’m only working three days this coming week. Janice is closing down the office until after New Year’s.”

  “She does that every year,” Graham said. “It makes sense. Not too many people are looking for employment advice at this time. She gets to spend more time visiting her children in Alberta and the staff members enjoy an extended holiday.” He moved toward the boxes. “Back to work.”

  They worked diligently all afternoon and into the evening, stopping only to eat pizza. Graham had insisted on take-out food. He didn’t want her cooking a meal after working so hard.

  Chapter 30

  Christmas Eve arrived.

  Barbara found it hard to believe it would all be over in less than two days. She marveled at the amount of work that went into the holiday celebrations. She shook her head in amazement and wondered why humans repeated this process each year. Did they never tire of it?

  She was in no hurry today. There was nothing left for her to do. Graham’s house was sparkling clean and decorated. Graham’s fridge and large chest freezer were filled with side dishes and desserts. All that was left was the turkey and the butternut squash soup. Graham proclaimed himself master of the bird and Gwen wanted to make the soup.

  Graham had invited Barbara to spend the day with them, but Barbara declined and suggested he spend some time alone with Gwen and Peter. Graham did not object too strongly. She knew he was also nervous about his children’s reaction to her. They had never met any of his previous lady friends. None of the relationships had lasted longer than a few months, and he had usually found himself alone at Christmas.

  She smiled as she recalled yesterday’s conversation with Gillian. The younger woman had just received a last-minute invitation to spend a week in St. Lucia. The new man in her life was handsome, rich, and slightly older. While Gillian breezed over that last fact, Barbara wondered just how much older, but she didn’t want to pry and upset Gillian. The younger woman had too many issues with aging and would not welcome any comments or questions regarding age differences.

  Stewart Tobin. What was he doing for the holidays?

  While she could still conjure up his perfect features and that megawatt smile that could charm the pants off any woman, she no longer obsessed about him each day. She knew that a decision would have to be made, but it didn’t have to be made now. There was no point squandering the precious present worrying about what may or may not happen in six months time. That last thought brought another smile to her face. She was starting to sound more and more like the self-help books she devoured on a regular basis.

  Her tea was cold and the clock was ticking. It was time to get ready for dinner. Graham was typically very casual and he had informed her that his children would probably not dress up for dinner. Barbara decided that a dressy casual look would be appropriate, and, after some deliberation, wore a pair of black dress pants with her ruby red sweater set. She settled on silver jewellery instead of the pearls she usually wore.

  She dressed warmly and walked over to Graham’s house. She rang the doorbell. A surprised Graham answered the door. “You don’t have to ring the bell. You can come right in.” He kissed her quickly and let her in.

  Barbara smiled reflectively to herself. She could sense his unease and nervousness.

  They were sitting in the living area. Four sets of eyes looked her way, and Barbara tried to pick out the children. Gwen was obvious. She was a dead ringer for her mother with long, blond silky hair and dark blue eyes that seemed to see right through her. The two young men looked very much alike, and Barbara couldn’t tell which one was Peter. Barbara noticed that they all had made an effort to dress up. No one was wearing jeans. Like her, they had settled on dressy casual: black pants and sweaters.

  Graham made the introductions. Gwen nodded and the other young woman, Megan, flashed an encouraging smile. Both young men—Peter and Sam—got up and shook her hand warmly. Three down and one to go.

  The pre-dinner conversation was light, dominated by Peter and Sam, who regaled everyone with their latest snowboarding adventures. As they spoke, Barbara carefully scrutinized Gwen. The younger woman was also watching her intently. Megan continued to smile but contributed little to the conversation. Graham was in the kitchen, attending to the bird. He had waved away her help and encouraged her to sit and chat.

  The food was outstanding. While Barbara had inwardly chaffed at using only Marjorie’s recipes, she had to admit the final results were spectacular. And everyone at the table agreed. Gwen sighed contentedly and Peter praised both of them profusely, “Dad, Barbara, this is great. You’ve outdone yourselves.” He frowned and added, “I hope Dad didn’t tire you out.”

  “Not at all,” Barbara said. “I enjoyed helping your father create this Christmas meal for all of you. It’s my first Christmas in Canada, and I’m loving every minute of it.”

  Peter spoke enthusiastically. “We are very glad to have you here. I don’t think I’ve seen Dad this happy since . . .” A dark shadow crossed his face and everyone was quiet for a few minutes.

  Barbara broke the silence. “I’m looking forward to trying out some winter sports tomorrow. Your father seems t
o think I can learn all of them in a day.”

  “Start with snowshoeing,” Sam advised. “And then try some cross-country skiing.” He smiled wickedly. “And if you’re feeling really adventurous, you could always try snowboarding.”

  Everyone laughed. The young men were passionate about their sport and wanted to share it with everyone.

  Barbara put up her hand. “I think I’ll pass on that last suggestion.” She turned to Gwen and Megan. “And what are your favourite winter sports?”

  Megan answered for the both of them. “We like ice skating. But we’re game for all the others.”

  Definitely a hard nut to crack, thought Barbara. She decided not to dwell on Gwen’s coolness toward her. Thankfully, Graham appeared with the three pies—pumpkin, lemon meringue, and apple. The young men took a piece of each, Graham went for the pumpkin and apple, Gwen’s eyes lit up at the sight of the lemon meringue, and she urged Megan to try it as well. Barbara helped herself to a small piece of the apple pie.

  Afterward, they gathered around the piano and sang carols. Graham and Gwen sat together at the piano and took turns playing. Gwen was at her happiest and her blue eyes lit up with pleasure each time she looked at her father. Definitely a daddy’s girl.

  Suddenly, Peter stood up and announced, “It’s ten-thirty.” He looked expectantly at Graham and Gwen.

  “We like to open our gifts early,” Graham explained. “We used to do that so we could go to Midnight Mass afterward.” He winced as he realized the full impact of what he had just said.

  Gwen and Peter avoided looking at each other. Sam and Megan had surprised looks on their faces. Comprehension dawned as Barbara remembered one of Graham’s stories. A devout Catholic, Marjorie had talked him into converting. Gwen and Peter were baptised into the faith and attended mass regularly with Marjorie. After her funeral, they had stopped going to church; they no longer wished to worship a God who had allowed their mother to die at such a young age.