Between Land and Sea

by Joanne Guidoccio

  “I don’t know. I haven’t spoken with him yet.”

  “Hmm. You called Stewart first and then me. What does that say about your relationship with Graham?”

  Barbara didn’t know how to respond, but she knew what she had to do next.

  Chapter 33

  Barbara dialed Graham’s number and waited for him to answer. Her throat felt dry, and involuntary tears sprung to her eyes as she heard Graham’s voice on the answering machine. Should she leave a message? What kind of message could she possibly leave? No, she would try his number later. Although she could easily walk over to his house, she hesitated to do so. It was still early in the evening, and it was very likely she would run into someone who knew her or at least knew of her. As for taking the car, that would add insult to injury. She couldn’t and wouldn’t flaunt Stewart’s gift in Graham’s face.

  She welcomed the temporary reprieve and busied herself with preparing dinner. She tried out a new tilapia recipe, steamed some asparagus, and made a salad. While she didn’t usually have a starch or dessert with dinner, she found herself craving something more substantial. She cut a generous piece of the amaretto cheesecake sitting in the fridge. Graham’s favorite.

  After dinner, she tried Graham’s number and got the machine again. He must still be at the shop. She tried that number and got the machine as well. She considered where he might be. Suddenly she remembered. He was making a few late deliveries and would drop by later in the evening.

  She looked at the clock. It was only seven-thirty. The whole evening loomed ahead and Barbara could do nothing else but obsess about the day’s events. She didn’t want to watch television or read any of the books sitting on her nightstand. She poured herself another glass of wine. She rested while savoring the taste of the Pinot Grigio Graham had given her. Two glasses was her usual limit, but tonight she’d make an exception.

  The loud banging on the door woke her up. It was dark and cold and Barbara’s back ached. She had fallen asleep on the couch. She looked at her watch and realized it was past nine. She got up and staggered toward the door.

  “Barbara,open up. I know you’re in there.”

  Graham was here. Slowly she made her way toward the door and opened it. She looked up into a pair of very angry, dark eyes, and his lips tightened as he took in her appearance. He made his way into the living room and picked up the half-empty wine bottle. He shook his head. “So, you’ve had a few as well.”

  Hot tears burned her eyes. This was a disaster. She had planned to sit and calmly tell him about Stewart. It didn’t look like this conversation would be a pleasant one.

  He continued to scrutinize her. “You’ll have to speak sooner or later. But in your case, later seems to be the operative word.” His voice became icy. “When were you planning to tell me about Stewart Tobin? Or were you just going to ride into the sunset and leave me behind in the dust? You’ve got the wheels now, fancy BMW wheels from what I saw outside.”

  She gestured toward the sofa. Her voice was strangely calm. “Let’s sit down and talk about this.”

  “I prefer to stand. I suggest you sit down before you topple over.” He looked at her in disgust.

  She took his advice and sat down. She longed for a cup of coffee, but didn’t trust herself to make it and had no intention of asking Graham to make it for her. She sighed and realized those solicitous days were over.

  “More sighing. Now I know what that’s all about. You’ve been mooning over Stewart ever since you got back from Chicago. I was a fool not to see it.”

  “No, you weren’t. I’m the one at fault here. I know I should have spoken sooner, but I didn’t know how to tell you. He wined and dined me, courted me like I had never been courted before. I have to admit I was charmed by him. And I lost my head.” She looked at Graham through tears. “I came back to you.”

  “But were you planning to stay with me?”

  How could she tell him about her plans to leave Carden? He would never understand. And she certainly couldn’t tell him about her mermaid origins. Not now. Not ever.

  He shook his head. “Just as I thought. You were biding your time here, until Stewart was ready to take you in.”

  “That’s not true. He would have taken me in last month. I didn’t want to stay.” She took a deep breath and looked directly at Graham. “To be truthful, I didn’t know how any of this would play out. I had feelings for both of you. I wanted time, time to think it through.”

  “Well, it has played out, and I think Stewart is the puppet master here. But I won’t be one of his puppets or yours either. We’re through, Barbara.” He stormed out the door.

  Barbara heard Bob’s voice in the hall and closed her eyes. Just what she needed, another witness to her humiliation.

  “Ma’am, are you all right?”

  Barbara looked up into Bob’s concerned eyes. Beside him, Rita stood quietly, watching Barbara.

  Barbara managed a smile. “I’m fine, Bob. We just had a disagreement, that’s all.”

  He nodded and left, closing the door behind him.

  Barbara caught fragments of Rita’s conversation. “. . . knew there’d be trouble . . . comings and goings . . . BMW.”

  The phone rang. Barbara looked at the call display and breathed a sigh of relief when she saw Janice’s name. She picked up the phone and heard Janice’s concerned hello. Thank goodness there was at least one person in her corner.

  “I tried to call earlier but the line was busy. How are you doing, Barbara?”

  “I’ve been better, Janice.” The tears flowed freely and she cried quietly. “Graham just left. He broke it off with me.”

  “I was afraid he might do that,” said Janice. “After you left, the others immediately Googled Stewart Tobin. And they probably emailed a few friends. I tried to control the gossip during office hours, but I couldn’t do much afterward.”

  “Thank you, Janice. I appreciate all you’ve done for me. About coming in tomorrow, I don’t think—”

  “That’s one of the reasons I’m calling tonight.” Janice paused. “I think it would be a good idea if you stayed home for the rest of the week. Wait until this gossip dies down.”

  “Do you honestly think it’ll die down by then?”

  “I don’t know, Barbara. But you may be in better shape.”

  “I think it might be best if I don’t come back at all, Janice. I hate to leave you in a lurch.”

  There was a long wait at the other end. Janice finally spoke. “Don’t worry about me or the office. I can call in one of the retired guidance counselors to help. They like to do that, as long as it’s not during the golf season.” She spoke genuinely. “I hate to see you go, Barbara.”

  The tears continued as she listened to Janice, but her brain did not register a single word. The two women said their goodbyes and Barbara sank into the couch. She caught sight of the wine bottle and, in a fit of anger, pushed everything off the table. She watched as the red wine stained the pale grey carpet. She knew she should get up and take care of the stain, but her legs would not move.

  “Barbara, is everything all right?” The high-pitched voice sounded frightened.

  Barbara opened her eyes. She had forgotten about the tablet lying on the coffee table. It was extremely sensitive and easily activated. She considered ignoring Lisa738, but the voice persisted, “Barbara? Barbara, are you there?”

  Sighing, Barbara picked up the tablet.

  Lisa738 gasped. “Barbara, you look terrible. What has happened?”

  Barbara found herself weeping and telling Lisa738 all about the book, Stewart, Gillian, and today’s events. She took a deep breath and sank back into the couch.

  “Oh, Barbara. I’m sorry to hear all of this. I wish you had confided in me sooner. I wish I had asked more questions about your life. I wish . . .” Lisa738’s voice was shaking and Barbara was surprised to see empathetic tears in the mermaid’s eyes.

  “Lisa738, do not distress yourself over any of this. You are not to bla
me. This is all my doing.” To her ears, her voice sounded strangely calm.

  Lisa738 swallowed and regained her composure. “You have the car and your book. Real money and potential money.”

  Trust the Numbers mermaid to focus on the bottom line. Barbara said lightly, “You’re right. In spite of everything, I’m further ahead financially than I was three months ago.”

  Lisa738’s head was bent over another tablet. She was swiftly entering data of some kind. She finally looked up with a triumphant look on her face. “Your net worth is roughly seventy-nine thousand dollars. You’re in a good place right now. You could easily sit in that apartment and do nothing for a few months. Now, if you decide to sell the car.”

  “The ownership is in Stewart’s name. He’s also paid the insurance for the rest of the year. I plan to use the car for the next six months, drive to Chicago, and return it to him as soon as my book comes out.”

  Lisa738 nodded in approval. “You’ve got a plan.” Her eyes misted. “But what will you do in the meantime? Gillian is far away, and it sounds like all of your Carden friends have abandoned you. I can’t even imagine it. A Bella without friends.” She burst into tears.

  This Numbers mermaid genuinely cared about her. Why had she not seen it before? She could not bear to see her cry. “Lisa738, please stop crying. You’re not helping me.”

  Lisa738 shrugged helplessly and faded away into the screen.

  “Wake up, Isabella. Wake up.”

  Barbara woke up to the sounds of waves crashing on the shore. She was surrounded by large, dark rocks and a murky, ominous sky. The locale looked strangely familiar as she tried to find her bearings. She shivered and looked down at the warm coat of animal skins that had been wrapped around her. She gasped and tried to take off the coat. Who had dared to wrap her in this?

  She heard the familiar laughter and turned to see her grandmother, Annabella, watching her. “You are on the shores of your beloved Malta. Have you already forgotten those long nights you spent here with Andrew, the love of your life? It’s only been a few months.” The mocking voice continued. “And if I were you, I wouldn’t try to get out of that coat. That human body of yours will freeze. It’s cold here.”

  Annabella floated above one of the larger rocks. She had positioned herself so that she could look down on her granddaughter.

  “Am I to be banished here now? Is that your new plan for me?”

  “I don’t have any new plans for you, Isabella. I just wanted to give you a change of scenery. Lisa738 thinks you should get away from Carden.” Annabella shook her head. “You’ve really upset that poor Numbers mermaid. I’ve suspended her from her duties. She needs to learn how to control those emotions of hers.”

  “Why are you punishing her? She’s not to blame for any of this. I’m the one who chose to sugar coat everything and keep her out of the loop.” She spoke more forcefully. “I insist that you reinstate Lisa738. Do not demote her. Do not assign me another Numbers mermaid.” She looked directly at her grandmother.

  Annabella looked away first. “So, there is some strength of character left.” She nodded. “I will reinstate Lisa738 in a couple of days. I suggest you contact her at that time and start rebuilding your life with her help.”

  Barbara looked down at her hands. Her anger had turned into shame. She thought of all her mistakes, beginning with the trip to Chicago.

  “There’s no point crying over spilled milk.” Annabella smiled. “I’ve always wanted to use that overworked human expression. This situation certainly calls for it.” She looked at Barbara curiously and asked, “Will you go to Chicago now?”

  Barbara looked up in surprise. “I have absolutely no intention of going to Chicago until the summer.”

  “I see. You want to play with Stewart’s emotions. Let him want you even more.”

  “No, that’s not the plan at all. I don’t know if I want him anymore.” Barbara was surprised to hear herself speak those words.

  “I don’t understand you, Isabella. A second man has dumped you and now you’re planning to throw away your chances with the only man you have left. If you’re not careful, you will end up alone and poor.”

  Barbara shook her head. “Those are not my only options. I still have my book.”

  “Which is being published by one of Stewart Tobin’s friends. Melanie could easily change her mind.”

  “No, she can’t. We’ve all signed contracts. If Melanie James tries anything, I’ll get my lawyer involved. That book will be published and it will be a success.” Barbara laughed out loud as she listened to her echo.

  Annabella smiled as well. “I believe in you and so does this human universe.” She continued in a gentler tone. “I still care about you, Isabella. Regardless of what you may believe, I want to see you succeed here on earth.”

  Barbara continued to fidget as the fur scratched the back of her neck. When she looked up, Annabella had vanished.

  Chapter 34

  Barbara woke up to her first hangover and her worst headache. But she was relieved to find herself in her cozy bedroom. She was not stranded in Malta. She shivered as she recalled fragments of last night’s dream or, more precisely, nightmare. And then she saw the fur coat draped over her chair. She gasped. So, it had not been a dream. She got up and examined the coat. Mink. Expensive mink. Chocolate brown, luxurious mink. For a fraction of a second, she imagined wearing it. While it would fly against all mermaid principles to drape herself in the skins of an animal, she would certainly provide the people of Carden with something else to gossip about. No one would believe that it was a gift from her grandmother.

  She sighed and wondered what to do with the fur. She could leave it downstairs in the lobby with all the other loose, unwanted items. Or she could try selling it on eBay. And then a solution came to her. She would ask Lisa738 to dispose of the coat. It would be her first task after this debacle.

  Barbara was determined to start anew with Lisa738. She knew she had not treated the Numbers mermaid with proper respect and consideration. That would change. Starting tomorrow, she would contact her regularly and share all confidences. There were no secrets left. No unturned stones. No one left to impress or please.

  Barbara looked back at her unmade bed. It was tempting, almost too tempting. She gave herself a shake, quickly made her bed, showered, and ate her usual breakfast. It was a bright, sunny day with a bit of a chill. But that did not deter her. She dressed warmly and headed for her car. Her car. Her BMW. She smiled with satisfaction as she sat in the driver’s seat. She turned on the GPS and headed toward the highway. The car purred contentedly as she drove to the Mountsberg Conservation Area. She spent the morning cross-country skiing through some of the more challenging trails. She mentally thanked Megan and Graham for their patient instruction.

  After a quick lunch, she drove to Oakville and spent most of the afternoon walking along the boardwalk. In spite of the frigid temperatures, she absorbed the healing powers of Lake Ontario. She was pleased to discover the main branch of the Oakville Public Library nearby. She went inside and read through the day’s newspapers. She returned home in the late afternoon.

  Each day, she followed this regimen. Occasionally she would drive to Port Credit or Burlington, but she generally found it easier to slip over to Oakville. Between the cross-country skiing and the walking, she was getting about three hours of exercise a day. At the end of two weeks, her new clothes started to feel loose around the waist.

  Lisa738 had been overjoyed to hear from her and had enthusiastically embraced her first task. She found a buyer for the mink coat in Markham, and Barbara happily received a cheque for three thousand dollars.

  Her conversation with Gillian had not been as pleasant. The younger woman had sounded distant and there was a definite edge to her voice. When Barbara had asked about her week in St. Lucia, Gillian had snapped. “The weather was great and I worked on my tan. As for the man, well, let’s just say he had a good time with every unattached female guest on the isla
nd.”

  Gillian had not been too sympathetic about Barbara losing her job. “What did you expect up there in Mayberry? You just need to move on and out of there.” When she was between men, Gillian was not a happy camper.

  Exactly two weeks after that fateful Monday, Barbara sat down and faced the telephone. It was time to get a job. She glanced at the business card in her hand. It was her one and only lead and she could no longer ignore it. She didn’t have the time or energy to network and pursue other options. As she dialed the number, her heart started pounding, and she secretly hoped that no one would answer.

  “Good morning, Sharon Clarke speaking.”

  “Good morning, Sharon. It’s Barbara. Barbara Davies from Carden.”

  “Hello, Barbara. How are you doing?” There was genuine concern in Sharon’s voice.

  “Much better. I’m starting to feel like myself again.”

  “I’m glad to hear that.” There was a short pause. “I’ve heard about your situation. I can’t say I’m surprised. I know that a lot of other people like to pooh-pooh all the New Age nonsense, but I strongly believe there are forces at play in our universe. Some of us are more in tune than others.”

  While Barbara was still not convinced that Sharon had special powers, she couldn’t risk antagonizing the woman. She needed her goodwill and a job. She took another deep breath and continued. “When we met last month, you offered me a job. Is that offer still open?”

  “Let’s see. I’ve got an opening tomorrow afternoon at two. Does that work for you?”

  “Yes, yes of course.”

  “Good, I’ll be at our west end office.” She gave Barbara the address and directions.

  Barbara hung up the phone. She spent the rest of the day tidying her apartment, doing laundry, and making enough meals to last the week. The housework kept her busy and by the evening she had everything in order. She was ready for the next phase of her life.