Small Wonders

by Courtney Lux

  Nate nods. “Yeah, of course.”

  “I’ve had that picture since I was sixteen. When we ran into each other in the park—well, you ran into me—that kid in the middle there—I thought you were him. I convinced myself you were him.”

  Nate squints at the picture. “His eyes are the wrong color.”

  “Ears and smile are wrong, too.”

  “You’re not one to not notice details.” Nate puts the picture between them. “Still—the porch and the siblings. Damn lucky coincidence.”

  “If I’d have been wrong, I think I still would have come up with something to make myself believe it was you.” Trip shakes his head. “Probably would have just decided it was from a vacation and they were your cousins or something. I just wanted it to be you.”

  “We’ll pretend it’s me, then.” Nate holds up the picture. “Get the damn thing framed and hang it. If my parents ever get out here for a visit, we’ll convince them, too, unless you want it back.”

  “No, you can keep that here. This is what’s on loan.” Trip pulls the notebook out. He picks at the metal spiral. “You said you, um… you said you wanted to know me.”

  Nate scoots closer and accepts the notebook when Trip pushes it toward him. “What is it?”

  “They’re stories.” Trip shifts. He feels anxious and exposed. “My stories.”

  Nate opens to the first page, passes his fingers gently over the words. “You’re letting me read them? This one of your deals where there’s going to be some big catch?”

  “No deal.” Trip resists the urge to start chewing his fingernails. “No catch.”

  Nate looks down at the page to read and then looks back up again. “People called you a miracle.”

  “Only some people,” Trip corrects, then adds, “I’m not the best at spelling, nothing’s in the right order, and I wrote some of it a long time ago, but it’s all me.”

  Nate looks back down at the journal.

  When the silence stretches, Trip gives in to temptation and chews at the jagged edge of a hangnail. “Remember yesterday when you asked me what I want?”

  Nate’s attention is immediately back on Trip. “Yeah, sure.”

  Trip fidgets with the edge of one of the pillowcases. “All I wanted for a long time was just to get out of where I was from, and I did that. I got here, but then I didn’t know what I wanted. It wasn’t something I thought about much.”

  “And now?” Nate’s voice is soft.

  “I still don’t really know. I’m trying to figure that part out.” Trip licks his lips, swallows. “I want…”

  When the silence stretches, Nate pulls Trip’s hand gently away from his mouth. “You want…”

  “You.” Trip speaks to Nate’s hand on his wrist. “Us. I think.”

  “You’ve got me.” Nate lifts Trip’s hand, touches a kiss to his palm.

  Trip closes his fingers around the kiss as though to hold onto it a little longer. “I think I want other things, too. I just don’t know what they are yet.”

  “You’ve got time to figure it out. Lots of it.” Nate looks down at the page again. He skims it before flipping through a few more pages. He tucks the photograph in under the cover and closes the notebook. He puts it down on the nightstand and reaches for Trip’s jeans on the floor. He fishes out the key and holds it up. “You want me to tell you a story?”

  Trip raises his eyebrows in surprise; his previous unease is replaced by curiosity. “It gonna be better than the ones you told me about the crayon and the receipt?”

  Nate hands him the champagne bottle. “Cross my heart.”

  “Yeah, all right.” Trip takes a drink. “Let’s hear it.”

  “I had this thing made after we went on that first blind date with Kellan and Scarlett.” Nate’s cheeks flush red, and he stares at the key with a sort of awe. “And I couldn’t figure out what the hell I was thinking doing that.”

  Trip’s ready to make a joke, but then Nate’s tangling his fingers in his hair and kissing him. He tastes like champagne. Trip pulls away after a moment, smiling. “Thought you were going to tell me a story about getting a key made for a stranger.”

  “Shhh, I am telling you one.” Nate pulls Trip close and touches a softer kiss to his lips. “Just listen.”

  The End

  Acknowledgments

  A massive thank you to my parents, Kim and Jeff, for constantly pushing me toward being my greatest self and for feeding (and often funding) so many of my dreams and beautiful opportunities. Thank you to my siblings, Ben and Molly, for being a constant source of artistry and creative brilliance; you are both such amazing lights and you inspire me constantly.

  To Alison Sutter and Kyler Zee for being both amazing friends and incredible cheerleaders through the creation of this story.

  A very special thank you to Gina Milne who was kind enough to read some of my truly awful original fiction when we were children and insist that it was good; where would I be without you?

  To Becca Burton who has been a constant source of love and support. I would never have found my way out of those waiting rooms upon waiting rooms of writer’s block without you.

  Long before there was Small Wonders, there was Trip Morgan, a character I adore deeply, but who would never have come to the place he is now in this book if it were not for the people who loved him and supported me so kindly. Thank you to anyone and everyone who ever took the time to read about Trip and love him in even the smallest of ways.

  I cannot possibly express enough gratitude to the Interlude Press team, especially Annie, Candy and Lex. Thank you so much to all of you for helping to make this story what it is, and for making it such a fantastic learning experience. I am at a loss for words to express how much I love all of you for truly making one of my lifelong dreams into a reality.

  Lastly, to one of my favorite cities on earth, thank you for being so beautiful and difficult and such a constant source of inspiration. New York, I love you. •

  I sincerely hope you enjoyed Small Wonders. Trip Morgan is someone I hold near and dear to my heart and whose story has taken several years to get right, so I am so appreciative that you took the time to read his story and know him, too.

  Now that you’re done, I hope you’ll consider taking a moment to share your thoughts about Small Wonders on Goodreads, Amazon, and other web sites. And if you’d like to know more about the book, or what I’m working on next, please join me on one of my social media sites. You can find me on tumblr at Courtney-lux.tumblr.com; on Twitter @courtney_lux; and on Facebook at facebook.com/CourtneyLLux.

  Thanks again for reading!

  About the Author

  Courtney Lux is a Minnesotan-turned-New Yorker whose love for the city is rivaled only by her love for wide, open spaces. She is a graduate of the University of Wisconsin-Madison and a soon-to-be graduate of New York University. When not playing writer, Courtney is an avid reader, constant dreamer and lover of dogs, wine and being barefoot. Small Wonders is her first novel.

  Questions for Discussion

  Trip had a difficult relationship with his mother from birth. How did his lack of connection with his mother continue to affect him, even in his relationship with Nate?

  Trip had two major life events on the steps of his home town church, both involving Pastor Welk. Discuss the com­monality and differences between the two events.

  What did Nate and Trip each expect to get out of their arrangement? What did they each get instead?

  What meaning does the collecting of broken and lost things have for Trip? Why would stealing someone else’s junk be his favorite task?

  Trip says in part II “Maybe some ladies are just meant to be mamas and others aren’t, or maybe some babies are just easier to love; something in their chemistry makes them some­thing a mama wants to hold onto.” Which one does Trip think about his own lif
e, that he was unlovable or that his Mama wasn’t meant to be a mother?

  Trip’s sensory memory of the church where he hung out as a child is very strong. He felt safe there. How is that related to the way he feels at the Metropolitan Museum of Art? Is there any place in your life that triggers that same kind of sensorial connection?

  Pastor Welk had a profound influence on Trip’s life despite Trip not believing in God in the same way. How did the pastor’s influence show up in Trip’s life throughout the story?

  How does Pastor Welk’s dying affect Trip? How might Trip’s life have been different if the pastor had lived to support him?

  In part III, Trip says “I wish I’d have been smarter and made a choice before my time ran out. I wish I’d have realized that you can pick your family, and I was picking the wrong one. I don’t know if, in the long run, a different choice would have put me somewhere different than where I am right now, but I still wish I’d chosen a little different.” How many people in the world have these same types of feelings? What is one choice in your life you would have done differently and why?

  Nate tells Trip “These moments—when everything falls apart, they can be an opportunity.” Is this true? Are blessings disguised as turmoil more often than not? How did that philosophy show itself in Nate’s life?

  What was the key moment when Trip decided Nate was what he really wanted? Why did he give away all his treasures before he knew Nate had returned his guitar?

  Imagine the future for Trip and Nate. What do you think happens next for them?—AC Holloway