Surrender to Love

by Julia Templeton

  Gray Hawk shifted abruptly, his gray eyes flashed in the darkness. Jordan closed her eyes, her heart racing, hoping he hadn't noticed where her gaze had been directed.

  She released the breath she'd been unconsciously holding.

  It was going to be a very long night.

  Chapter 6

  BEFORE LEAVING on the hunt, Gray Hawk had posted Young Wolf to guard Jordan and Kari again. Unfortunately for them, the young man appeared to have eyes in the back of his head, not to mention impeccable hearing.

  Blowing a stray lock of hair out of her eyes, Jordan sat back on her haunches, looking up at the hills that rose around her on all four sides. Her stomach clenched in a tight knot. Escape was impossible.

  Her fingernails bit into the dirt at her feet. She was exhausted from lack of sleep, and if she had to spend one more day in the village, she would go insane. Tossing a carrot into the basket, she glanced around at the other women in the garden who went about their task with pure abandon.

  Jordan had heard a few of them talking this morning, and although she couldn't understand everything they said, she had picked up bits and pieces of conversation. Enough to know many were worried because the warriors were supposed to have arrived home by now.

  In the past Jordan had often wished Gray Hawk would come upon harm, yet now she realized that like the others, she wanted him home safely. In fact, she found herself looking toward the hills wondering when he would come, anxious to see him, yet dreading when he did.

  It had been impossible to get him out of her mind since that night when he'd danced and their eyes had met. Something had passed between them. Even his attitude toward her had changed. He no longer frowned at her, but watched her in a way that made the hair on her arms stand on end, and her pulse race with exhilaration. There was an attraction that neither one of them could deny, no matter how hard she tried.

  Looking up, she saw Kari coming toward her, her basket brimming over with potatoes. "You're getting so dark, you look like a native," she said, dropping beside her.

  Jordan looked down at her golden arms and legs in disgust. "Great. When a rescue party comes, I'm sure they'll take you away and kill me along with the locals." She dug her hands into the dirt and scooped up a glob of mud, packing it into a ball. The grim reality was that no matter how much she wished it, there was no rescue party coming to save them, and it was high time Kari realized that. "We've got to get out of here. I can't take it any more."

  Kari closed her eyes briefly, as though she was dealing with a temperamental child. "Jordan, not again. We've tried. Plus, we could never get past Young Wolf."

  Glancing up to find their personal guard watching them, Jordan glared at him with all the frustration she felt before turning her back on him. "Well, not hard enough. If the men don't return in a couple of days, they're going to send out a search party."

  "How do you know?" Kari asked, her brows furrowed in a frown.

  "Because I've heard them talk about it," Jordan said, ignoring Kari's surprised grin. Jordan had resisted picking up on the language, but in the end it was impossible not to. And actually, she was glad she had now--it would only serve to help her know what was going to happen, prior to it happening. "If they send a search party out, it will include all able-bodied men, including our shadow over there, leaving only old men, women and children."

  Kari's silence made Jordan wonder if her cousin wanted to stay in the village. Granted, their lives had taken on a certain tranquility they hadn't had on the trail, but it was still a life of servitude. Kari had adapted easily, and had actually gained a lot of strength, physically and emotionally since they came to the village.

  "Don't tell me you want to stay?" Jordan asked, making sure her voice remained calm when she felt closer to the edge than ever.

  Kari bit her bottom lip, her gaze dropped to the ground by Jordan's feet. "Of course not...but even you have to admit things could be worse."

  "I don't believe what I'm hearing!" Coming to her feet, Jordan threw the mud ball at Young Wolf's head, missing him by inches. The young brave flashed her a warning glare, but did no more. For once she almost wished he would--she was far too frustrated.

  Jordan rested her hands on her hips and returned her attention to Kari. "You told them we were trying to leave, didn't you? That's why we've been caught every time."

  "Jordan, you're being ridiculous. I never said a word," she replied, standing hesitantly.

  Narrowing the space between them in two strides, Jordan whispered under her breath, "You're lying. I know you are."

  "I can't believe you're accusing me," Kari said, pain evident in her voice. "You've been so mean lately. I don't like this any more than you do. I'm just not going to let it get to me."

  As tears brimmed in Kari's blue eyes, Jordan felt regret and remorse, making her pull her cousin into her arms. She sighed heavily. "I'm sorry. I just want to get out of here. I didn't mean it. I don't want to be miserable when we can't change the circumstances."

  Kari put her at arms length and dried her tears with the back of her hand. "We'll leave soon, Jordan. We just can't push it. When the time's right, we'll leave, and when we do, we'll never look back. You'll have your ranch--"

  Jordan and Kari jumped simultaneously as a jubilant cry rang out over the camp. Realizing what it meant, Jordan's heart hammered wildly.

  Gray Hawk had returned.

  GRAY HAWK'S gaze moved over the familiar faces of women and children, looking for the woman he couldn't get out of his mind.

  He acknowledged the greetings from his friends, but as the minutes ticked by and he didn't see Kari or Jordan, he began to worry. What if they had escaped despite his efforts to see otherwise? Or what if Running Deer and Jordan had gotten into another altercation and things had gone too far?

  Certainly Young Wolf would have prevented that.

  His gaze fell on Running Deer for a brief moment before they moved abruptly to Tawanka, the medicine woman, who nodded in the direction of the gardens. Seeing some of the women with baskets of vegetables, he smiled, knowing Jordan and Kari hadn't gone anywhere.

  The days had been tolerable considering the raids took all his concentration and strength. But at night, when he lay alone under the stars, Jordan's face appeared, mocking him with her beauty as he imagined her soft body lying beneath him as she gave herself to him freely.

  He'd had a lot of time to think. In all his twenty-six years, he always enjoyed the hunts and raids. Yet this time he found it no longer excited him the way it once did. He longed for something to fill this emptiness inside of him--this loneliness that threatened to eat him alive.

  Iron Bear commented just that morning on how much Gray Hawk had changed, asking out loud, in front of the others, if his white blood wasn't stirring within his veins. He should have been furious, but instead Iron Bear's words triggered questions. Questions that neither his white or red blood would be happy hearing the answer.

  As he entered the woods, he heard Jordan's excited voice mingling with Kari's. Relief flooded him at the sight of the two, carrying their baskets filled with vegetables to the teepee they shared. Young Wolf saw him first and nodded.

  Gray Hawk raised his hand in greeting, unable to keep his eyes off Jordan, who if possible, had grown even more beautiful with the passing days. Her silky hair was worn loose, falling past her hips, swaying with each step. Both she and Kari appeared at ease, laughing and smiling. He wondered if the time away had made them think any more about being here. Perhaps in time they would even want to stay.

  His thoughts were cut short when Jordan noticed him. The smile instantly disappeared from her face and she tripped, spilling the vegetables on the ground around her.

  Gray Hawk strode toward her as she scurried to pick up the carrots. He noticed how Jordan's hands trembled, making him wonder if it was from fear, or something else.

  Silence ensued for a few awkward moments. Young Wolf came to help, and Gray Hawk saw how the younger man's fingers brushed Jordan's,
who didn't flinch or look uncomfortable by the contact. A horrible image crossed his thoughts. What if Young Wolf and Jordan had become lovers in his absence? They were closer in age than she and Gray Hawk, and Young Wolf was a good-looking man who had already caught the eye of many young maidens.

  "Young Wolf, could you take Kari back to camp? I would like a moment alone with Jordan."

  The younger man glanced up, and without a single word, walked with Kari back to the village.

  Dropping the last of the carrots into the basket, Jordan stood and met his gaze with a forced smile. "I thought maybe something happened to you and the others when you didn't return. "Many feared for you."

  "Did you fear for me?"

  She swallowed hard, her gaze dropped to his chest. "A little."

  The knowledge that she did care for him warmed him as much as her uncharacteristic shy smile.

  The sweet smell of her filled his senses, and desire flooded him. Unable to resist, he reached out and touched her cheek, letting his thumb run over her lower lip. He felt her stiffen beneath his touch, but he continued, his fingers moving along her jaw, before weaving through her silky hair.

  Her eyes were luminous as she stared at his mouth. It was as though her gaze pulled and invited him. He leaned forward. Encouraged even more when she made no move to stop him, his lips brushed lightly against hers.

  "You didn't leave," he whispered against her lips.

  Jordan's heart pumped furiously, wanting him to kiss her again, yet wanting him to walk away, to leave her alone to sort out her tangled emotions. She couldn't deny she enjoyed his touch. Her body tingled, wanting to experience these new sensations that rippled through her, making her forget who she was.

  But as his hands moved up her arms, pulling her closer to his hard body, she knew this was wrong. They had no future together. All they had in common was lust, pure and simple.

  She pushed against him, desperate to put some space between them. "I tried to escape but Young Wolf stopped us," she replied, instantly regretting the words when all softness left his features.

  He released her hand abruptly, stepping away from her as though she'd burned him. She almost took the words back, but knew doing so would cost her more than her pride, and she refused to give anyone her heart. "You can't possibly think that I want to stay." Even as she said it, she hated herself for hurting him.

  His eyes were dark with anger. "Do you hate me so much?" he asked.

  "No, I don't hate you. I could never hate you," she whispered. But I should, she thought, knowing the attraction she felt for him was a dangerous thing, not to mention just plain wrong. Her parents were surely rolling over in their graves knowing that she was infatuated with an Indian of all people.

  "Why can't you be happy? I've treated you well."

  How could she tell him that perhaps she could be happy? That all she wanted when she looked at him was to love him. But she couldn't, because if she started something with him, she wasn't sure she would be able to leave him. He made her thoughts turn positively wicked, and just seeing him made her want him with a ferocity that terrified her. She'd never known such unbridled wanting in her life, and she doubted she ever would again. But how could she when he was an Indian, the people she hated with all her heart and soul? "Please release us, Gray Hawk. There can never be anything between us."

  "I can't." He almost sounded sorry.

  Her heart beat double-time, hoping she could change his mind. "Why not?"

  "I don't want to," he said simply, his expression so intense, she thought he was going to kiss her again. For an uncomfortable moment he watched her, but when she dropped her gaze to his chest, he let out an exasperated breath, turned abruptly and walked away.

  Closing her eyes, Jordan let out an unsteady breath. Deep inside she knew that she would never find another man like him...not if she looked for a hundred years.

  Willing her heart to cease its pounding, she waited a few minutes to calm herself, then followed the path he had taken.

  The moment she entered camp she saw him. Taller than the rest, his body lean and powerful, his looks commanded attention. He was so handsome it was impossible not to stare. Worse still, her traitorous body yearned for his touch. She pressed her lips together, remembering the light kiss they just shared, and to her chagrin, she wished for the moment back.

  Why was life so unfair? For the first time in her life she felt true desire for a man, and he had to be an Indian. And not just any Indian, but the Indian who had taken her captive.

  They would never be happy, she thought, blinking back the tears that threatened. He would never leave his people, and she would never be happy living in an Indian village for the rest of her life. It was an impossible situation.

  Watching as Running Deer raced to Gray Hawk's side, Jordan's steps faltered. She felt an acute sense of emptiness and loss as the woman's hand moved up his powerful bicep, splaying against his hard muscles.

  Jordan turned away and marched toward Kari, who was sitting beneath a cottonwood tree, working on a pair of moccasins. "I'm leaving tonight. You can stay, or you can come with me, but don't try and talk me out of it."

  Kari lowered the moccasin to her lap, her brows furrowed into a frown. "We'll be caught. Especially now that he's back."

  "I can't stay here a moment longer...I just can't." Running trembling fingers through her hair, Jordan watched as one of Gray Hawk's strong arms encircled Running Deer's slim waist. When he bent and whispered in the woman's ear, a wave of jealousy washed over Jordan, strengthening her resolve to leave.

  "How long have you been attracted to him?"

  Jordan turned abruptly. "I'm not attracted to him."

  Kari smiled softly. "You could never lie to me, so don't start now. I saw you back there. The way he was looking at you, and the way you looked at him. He desires you, and if I'm not mistaken, I'd say you feel the same. That's why you've been so miserable. I'm surprised I didn't guess before."

  "How can I be attracted to him? It's not right."

  Kari stared past her to where Gray Hawk stood, her brow lifted. "Actually, I can see why. He is handsome. Definitely unlike any man I've ever met."

  Gray Hawk was unlike any man Jordan had ever met, and he was more masculine than any man she'd ever known. She shook her head, trying to convince herself the attraction was purely physical, and therefore, far too dangerous to explore. Things could never work between us," Jordan said with firm resolve.

  For some reason her mind was telling her differently as her gaze strayed to him yet again. His body was muscular and athletic. His strong back was turned to her, his long hair that was braided nearly fell to the band of his breeches. Her eyes moved lower to his tight buttocks. Her face began to burn when she realized Kari was watching her.

  "Perhaps you're right. We should leave tonight," Kari said abruptly.

  "I'll start getting things together," Jordan said, needing to get away from Gray Hawk and Running Deer.

  Planning to check on Winnebe and Kari's horse, she hadn't gone far when a loud, shrill cry rang out in the valley. The hair on the back of her head stood on end when a band of fierce-looking Indians appeared from all directions, bearing down on the unsuspecting villagers. Men, women and children ran for cover and weapons.

  Jordan watched with open-mouthed horror as a warrior with painted face and cropped off hair came bearing down on an elder of the tribe. She screamed as the warrior's spear pierced the man's chest.

  She ran for the teepee, but before she could reach it, a strong arm wrapped around her waist and lifted her from the ground. Suddenly, she was flung through the air and landed with a grunt across a horse's back. All she could see were pounding hooves and dust stir. Lifting her head, she swallowed a scream as she found herself face to face with a menacing warrior. His face was painted bright red, with two angry black streaks beneath eyes so black they seemed fathomless as he glared at her with pure hatred.

  Chapter 7

  JORDAN CLAMPED her chattering te
eth together.

  Sitting cross-legged on the hard ground, her wrists bound behind her, she glared at the warrior who had tied the rope around her neck, and had pounded a stake into the ground to make sure she wouldn't be going anywhere.

  She had stopped crying, realizing long ago, that tears only added to her captor's pleasure. They had traveled the better part of the day without stopping. When they finally reached the camp, the villagers had been hostile, spitting, hitting, pinching and taunting her. It was by far the most horrifying experience she'd ever endured.

  The horses neighing in the makeshift corral caught her attention. Seeing her mare among the stolen mounts made her yearn for escape. If only there was a way to get out of her binds. But even if she did, escape would be difficult, and if she were caught, it would mean certain death. Plus, it seemed that every time she thought she was alone, she turned and there was someone watching her.

  Her thoughts were in turmoil as she constantly wondered if her cousin and Gray Hawk had been killed in the raid. Refusing to believe they had, she chose to be grateful that at least Kari hadn't been taken captive, too.

  Although Jordan wanted to remain positive, she had a horrible suspicion that her days were numbered. All she could hope for was a miracle--and his name was Gray Hawk.

  How ironic it was that now, when it was too late, she finally realized how good the Cheyenne had been to her. Life with them had been simple in comparison to this. Gray Hawk had often warned her how bad things could be, and now she knew first hand that he was right.