“You have no idea.”
“JC?”
“Umm hmm.”
“I’ll be worth it.” He pressed warm soft kisses to her forehead, temple and cheek, brushing her nose with his. “You need to relax. No more thinking. No more worrying. No more rules.” He strummed his fingers over her heart. “Feel me in here. Can you do that?”
“I’ll try. You might have to walk me through it.” She gave him an awkward smirk of sarcasm.
“Oh, darlin’, I’m gonna walk you through it, kiss you through it, feel you through it, taste you through it. Hell, I’m hoping you call out my name through it, but for some reason, if I can’t get you off, by all means, play along. It won’t hurt my feelings. But I don’t think you’ll need to.”
They studied each other and his hand trailed down her arm as he nibbled up the side of her neck.
“And, JC,”—his eyes lifted, gazing fixedly at her—“no faking it.”
She swallowed hard and shook her head. “I won’t. I promise.”
He raised her hands above her head. “Close your eyes.”
She felt the intensity of his needs in the heat of his breath rich with yearning as he placed kisses along her exposed neck and shoulder. With excruciating patience, Reed roamed over her nude body, exploring her most vulnerable places, seeking out sensitive dips and curves that brought sounds of desire humming from her throat and goose bumps to cover her skin.
Reed descended between her thighs. His mouth, searing hot, kissed her in a full-blown searching manner. Her heart slammed erratically in anticipation as a long sweeping stroke of his tongue opened her moist flesh. She squirmed in response and let out a low moan. Her legs spread fully open as he curled one arm beneath her bottom and reached up to clasp her damp, tight breast between his fingers. His tongue flicked and licked, the sensation maddening, sending a tingling rush straight to the throbbing ache of her personal favorite spot.
Her hips rolled in sync with the waves of pleasure building inside her. With every precise lick of the tip of his tongue, her hips rose off the bed. JC slammed her palms flat to the bed, gripping the sheets, tangling her fingers in the cotton fabric. Sounds of excitement filled the quiet room. Her breath hissed. A muffled, hushed voice, an unfamiliar voice, cried out in pleasure. “Oh, yes. Oh, God.”
“Yes, darlin’.” A lusty groan of command resonated up from between her thighs.
A fevered madness slipped over her as he pushed a finger inside. Her breathing came in ragged gasps. “Oh, Reed!”
“More?” he murmured.
Taking her zealous cry as a yes, he plunged another finger past her entrance, pumping in rhythm with each silky flick of his tongue.
Pleasure surged in one direction, forceful and deep, until she thought she’d explode. No man had ever brought her to this point. A moan filled with raw need rose above the blood rhythm in her ears. The inner muscles of her body contracted and she shattered, melting in his mouth.
Reaching down, she gripped onto his thick, silky hair, holding him to her as another round of breakers swelled inside She clenched at his fingers plunging deeper inside while his tongue swirled steadily, catching her release. “Don’t stop, I’m not—”
Her body strained and arched higher off the bed. Another climax ripped through her as if she crested over the wave and slammed to the ocean floor. Carried away by the current of energy flowing from her lungs, she cried out his name again.
Breathless, JC panted and her ears buzzed from the pounding pulse rushing through her veins. She let out a quiet moan when Reed withdrew his fingers. He hovered over her, nuzzling her tummy and taking her breast into the burn of his mouth, mumbling sweet words of endearment through ragged breaths. “Oh, God, you taste so good. Fuck, you’ve got my dick so hard I can’t take it.”
Kneeling between her legs, he locked his lips to hers, possessing her mouth with shameless, hungry kisses consumed with lust. Unable to catch her breath, she broke the kiss and turned her head to the side.
Resting on his elbows, Reed clutched his hand to the side of her neck, devouring her neck and throat. “I’ll be gentle,” he whispered considerately, nudging at her wet opening.
The weight of his body lying atop her and the power of his hand on her neck began to suffocate her. She tried to tell Reed to stop, but her chest tightened and the words caught in her throat. JC squirmed and struggle beneath him. His thumb circled the hollow of her throat, triggering a full-blown panic attack.
“I can’t breathe.” JC swatted and shoved at Reed, gasping frantically for air. She felt like she was having a heart attack. She lost control, kicking, screaming. “Don’t touch me! Stop it! Don’t kill me. Luca, stop, you’re hurting me!”
White noise rang loudly in her ears and her surroundings shrank into the darkness.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
“JC. JC, just breathe.”
JC’s eyes remained clamped shut as Reed’s voice echoed through the darkness. Sweat covered her skin and she shook violently, slouched against the headboard of her bed. Her arms wrapped tightly herself as she sat on her knees, rocking back-and-forth, sobbing.
“Darlin’, look at me. Open your eyes. It’s me, Reed.” He barely touched her shoulder and she flinched, cowering from his touch. “Open your eyes, JC.”
When she did, Reed stood in front of her with his hands in the air, making it clear he wouldn’t touch her again. Her heart raced and a tingling sensation covered her damp skin. A wave of nausea flooded over her and she held her cramping stomach.
“Just breathe.” He approached her with a small trashcan from the corner of her room. “Are you gonna get sick?”
“M...m..maybe.” Her hand shook uncontrollably as she reached for the can.
He stepped three feet back and picked up his jeans lying on the floor.
“P… please don’t leave m…me,” she cried out in fits.
He dropped the pants and came to her, sitting on the edge of the bed. “I wasn’t gonna leave, darlin’. I was just gonna put my pants on. I’m not going anywhere. Okay?”
Nodding through a slick of tears, she ditched the trashcan and scrambled to him, climbing into his lap. “I’m sorry, Reed. I’m so embarrassed.”
Tremors screamed through her body, quaking her to the bone. She clung to him for warmth and comfort, burying her face in the crook of his neck.
“Shhh. Just breathe.” He stroked her hair and strained limbs for what seemed like an hour, until her breathing went back to normal and her sniffles quieted.
“I don’t know what happened. I couldn’t breathe.” JC hid her face, unable to find the courage to look at him.
“I’m pretty sure you had a panic attack.” He withdrew slightly from her clutches and tilted his head so he could see her. “Why don’t you tell me what’s going on?”
Her eyes drifted to the sheet then back to Reed’s. His blue eyes filled with anguish and concern, and his golden-brown skin turned pale with distress. JC’s lip twitched and she frowned. She knew she owed him an explanation, but she didn’t want to ever tell anyone what had happened to her.
“Why don’t you start by telling me who Luca is and why you thought I was going to kill you.”
She felt the blood drain from her face as she shifted uncomfortably in his lap. “I said that?”
His brow raised and he nodded.
JC climbed off his lap and crawled under the covers. She lay on her side and patted the bed next to her. Reed slid in beside her and rested his head on the palm of his hand. She didn’t know where to start and it took minutes before she could utter a word. A permanent worried frown covered his face as he stroked and massaged her arm for support, waiting patiently for her to explain.
“The man I dated a few months ago turned out to be...not a nice guy. I stayed with him for about eight months. He wasn’t really my boyfriend, well I called him my boyfriend a few times, but only cause I didn’t know what else to call him.” She rambled on, spewing words out in clusters. Guilt consumed her fo
r calling another man her boyfriend. She wanted to call Reed her boyfriend, only Reed. “I didn’t love him. I’ve never—”
“It’s okay if you called him your boyfriend.” His tone filled with understanding and reassurance.
Hot tears ran down her temple onto her pillow. “No, it’s not okay, Reed. There are certain things, silly things, which carry a lot of meaning to me. Certain words like boyfriend, making love, and I love you’s, mean something to me. For some reason I’ve always wanted to hold on to those words and only say them to someone, a man who is special to me. It’s always been important for me, kind of sacred.”
A small, soothing smile danced in his eyes. “Darlin’, don’t you know? Words only count when you mean them.”
She flashed him a soft, grateful grin in return. Without holding back or using any filter, JC opened up to Reed. “We met at my sister’s wedding. He was very smooth and knew exactly what to say. I know now that he was preying on me to get into the industry or at trying to get Tom’s attention. But when he sensed me pulling away, he got mean. He twisted everything I said and did. He turned really…dark,” her nose curled in revulsion, “even going as far as accusing me of having a thing for Tom and Benny.”
Reed’s expression hardened and a frown deepened, realizing the story was about turn.
JC lowered her gaze to his chest watching it rise and fall with each strained breath he took. She lifted her chin and looked him in the eyes. “He…he beat the hell out of me, twice. Once before Christmas and the next time was right before my mom’s fiftieth birthday party. The second time was really bad.”
His body language stiffened.
“I think when you touched my neck…it triggered something.” She laid the tips of her fingers at the notch of her throat watching as the color slowly leached from his face. “I knew it wasn’t right, he wasn’t right. I planned my escape, but he caught me.”
Liquid pooled at the edges of his eyes. Holding back his rage, Reed brought his palm to her face, tracing the pad of his thumb across her cheek. “Go on.”
“My parents must’ve sensed I was lying when I told them I had the flu. Tom showed up at the door. He was going to bring me home and surprise my mom for her fiftieth.” Her eyes were filled with anguish and humiliation. “I always considered myself to be a strong, independent woman. I became a statistic overnight by staying with him after it happened the first time. I don’t know why I believed him or why I was afraid to leave. But I did and I’ll never forgive myself for being so stupid.”
“You’re probably the strongest woman I’ve met, darlin’, and I’m from Texas. Some men are just bastards and they know how to manipulate and use people in their lives, especially women.” He reached for her fingers and pressed them to his rigid lips.
JC knew he was mad as hell, but he was also trying to be tender and supportive for her sake.
“How did you get away?”
She gnawed on her lip. “I told you, Tom came and picked me up.”
“No, I mean, how did you get away from him that night?”
No one in her family had asked her that question, not even Tracy.
She cringed with shame. Her nose and eyes burned and her lip began to quiver. “I…I thought he was going to kill me. I didn’t have a choice. I had to tell him…”
A light of understanding flickered in his eyes and a low murderous growl came from his chest.
“He’d been telling me, Ti amo for a long time, but I’d never say the words in return.” JC broke down and started to sob uncontrollably, gasping for air between words. “When I finally pried his hands from my neck, I told him I loved him.” She buried her face in her hands and shook her head in humiliation. “And then I had to ask him to—”
“Shhh.” Reed pulled her close, her head rested on his arm beneath her neck. “It’s okay. You don’t have to say it. Those words didn’t count, darlin’.” He placed tender kisses to her forehead. His hand coasted up and down her back, soothing the rigidness form her spine.
After a few moments of silent petting, intuitive understanding, and unmeasurable comfort, Reed traced her jaw languorously with the back of his fingers. “I was gonna surprise you. I ordered my passport today. What are the extradition rights for Italy? Cause I’m going to Italy to kill that fucking bastard. There won’t be anything left of him when I’m finished.”
Pressing her lips to his chin, she curled her arm around his shoulder. “No, you can’t fly to Italy and kill him. Then I’d be all alone without my boyfriend.” She fell silent in his arm. The thought of losing Reed for any reason was too overwhelming to consider, especially over Luca.
“Sure I can.” He looked over her, tentatively taking in her uneasiness. “JC, I want you to know that I will never hurt you.”
“I know that. I trust you, more than I’ve ever trusted anyone.” Her breath caught at her own private admission that part of her was scared to death and it wasn’t because she was afraid of Reed. For the first time in her life, she let a man get close to her. JC rolled onto her back and stared at the ceiling. “Have you ever been in love?”
He turned over on his stomach, tucking his hands beneath his chin.
Regret built tightly in her chest with his lack of answer.
His face held averted and shadowed as he nodded slowly.
Her chest went numb and cold as she bit her lip. It was stupid for her to hope he hadn’t ever loved someone. Thinking of Reed loving another woman sparked deep feelings of jealousy she’d never experienced and her brows puckered in a tight knit with insecurities. Reed blew out a big breath of air layered with a heavy ruefulness, capturing her full attention.
“I need to tell you something, JC.” His stare drifted to the headboard, his profile hardened avoiding her gaze. “I was married before.”
The air in her lungs turned to ice. “You’re divorced?” she whispered beneath her fingers now covering her lips.
Reed offered no reply and refused to meet her eyes.
His silence knocked the air from her lungs and she gasped in agony.
“Oh, my God. No! No, no. You’re married?” JC’s heart shattered into pieces.
The muscles of her throat try to push down the rising devastation, but her saliva turned to cotton. His face crumpled with torment. Reed opened his mouth, but he couldn’t manage a word.
“How could you?” JC reached for the sheet draped over her hip. Clutching it to her chest, she sank into the fabric, cowering away from him in confusion. Tears streamed down her face as her world crushed in on top of her. “This can’t be happening to me. I thought—”
“I’m not divorced.” His voice teetered between distraught and desperation. He cast his blue eyes upon her, exposing his own tears gathered at the lash. “My wife died three years ago.”
She blinked repeatedly, trying to process his words and the sadness Reed attempted to hide. He’d been so open with her, but now he tucked his arms beneath his chest, sending a clear message of guardedness.
All she wanted to do was comfort him. Holding the sheet to her chest, JC sat up on her knees and crawled up beside him. “I’m sorry, Reed.”
She massaged the tense muscles in his back and neck then laid her cheek upon his shoulder. Compassion filled her heart, but she felt deluded and upset he kept this from her. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“It’s not something I like to talk about.” His eyes drifted closed, as if searching for the courage to find the right words. Spiky shadows cast across his cheeks. “After you mentioned your rulebook, I was afraid to tell you. I planned to tell you tonight, but as soon I started to say it, you kissed me. And then, damn woman, I’m pretty sure you fried every brain cell in my head when you took your dress off outside.”
God knew JC understood what it meant not to want to reveal intimate details of her past. Her irritation softened and she climbed onto his back, lying on top of him. Tucking her feet between his calves, she played with the hair on his legs with her toes. Peering down at his shoulder and t
he ink covering his back, she leaned up and straddled his hips. Her nails trailed lightly over the tattoo representing the people he’d loved and lost. “I bet she was wonderful if she was lucky enough to have married you.”
“JC...” he started to say with a husky voice.
“Which flower is she?” Sorrow for his loss filled her heart, but pings of envy tingled in her tummy. Glancing over the different flowers, her eye was instantly drawn to the delicate white rose sitting beneath his shoulder blade. Directly behind his heart. “It’s very beautiful.”
But as the words of comfort left her lips, JC’s fingers followed a trailing vine to a tiny elegant bud dangling beneath the rose.
A chill washed over her. She froze.
“Oh, Reed. I’m so sorry. Were you a…did you have a baby?”
He nodded in slow motion. Reed rolled to his back and rose up on his elbows. They stared at each, eye to eye, as she sat on top of his hips.
“Her name was Annie. We found out she was pregnant two days before the accident. She was driving down to tell her folks.” Pain and torment coated his voice. “I was supposed to go with her, but I got stuck at work with a client. I was going to drive down the next day.”
Solemnly, they gazed at one another while she sat in his lap, caressing his arms. “What happened?”
“There was a bad storm. Severe winds caused a dust storm on the interstate. Seven people died in the pile-up.”
JC tenderly traced his earlobes with long, delicate strokes.
He sat upright, clasping her hands in his. “It’s taken a long time for me to get over what happened. Along the way, I’ve lost my parents, my brother and several friends. I didn’t know if I would ever feel happy again…until I met you.”
Unsure of how to respond, she lazily lifted her mouth to his, tasting the saline as they kissed. He placed a soft kiss on her lips. His tongue swept between her parted lips and gently caressed the scar hidden inside.
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