Surviving Broken

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Surviving Broken Page 17

by Beverly Preston


  “Yes, darlin’?” He bowed his head and lifted her fingers to his lips, kissing them softly.

  “I…I just wanted to tell you,”—she relaxed against his back and blew out a big sigh of relief—“God I missed you today. I almost came over to your house three times.”

  “I’m fairly certain you would’ve found me pacing in front of the front window. I think I spent half the day peering outside, hoping to see you walkin’ down my driveway.” He turned slightly and pulled her into a one-armed embrace, resting his cheek on her head.

  A content smile warmed her face. “Dinner’s ready. Let’s eat.”

  JC stepped inside while Reed opened and poured the wine. She returned carrying a large tray, complete with a silver dome, looking somewhat like a room service attendant. Reed lifted the lid, releasing the mouthwatering aroma of steak, baked potatoes, roasted vegetables and a salad.

  “Wow. This looks and smells incredible. You can cook?”

  “Of course I can cook. It’s been a while, but sometimes I really enjoy cooking.”

  “Do you make dinner for all your first dates?” he asked in bemusement.

  “I don’t ever bring people to my parents’ house, so, no, I never cook for first dates. Besides, I thought you were supposed to be my boyfriend, not my date.” Her stomach tingled waiting for his response.

  Tiny laugh lines surrounding his eyes deepened when he shot her a heart-stopping smile. “I stand corrected. Boyfriend it is.”

  Heat rose to her cheeks as she nodded.

  Reed shot her a quizzical look of surprise. “Why don’t you bring anyone to your parents’ houses?”

  She gestured with her wine glass for him to dig in. As they ate, JC explained that she’d been let down by people she thought were her friends. “After my mom and Tom got married girls I’d known since grade school would blab about anything, truth or fabricated, with the slightest incentive waved in front of their faces. Making new friends in college and Hollywood came with their own set of difficulties.”

  Reed laughed when she told him, Leery and Cautious became her best friends and they hung out with her all the time.

  The rest of their conversation flowed easily all through dinner. Both seemed anxious to share stories and details of their lives. Reed paused between stories, making appreciative sounds and murmurs of, Umm, this is delicious. This is the best steak I’ve ever eaten.

  She finally caved, confessing she’d driven thirty miles to a butcher market. “I bought dry-aged steaks. The butcher swore they’d impress any man, even a Texan. The dry-aging is supposed to break down the enzymes, creating the most ultimate and tender cut of meat. But I won’t tell you what it looked like. Definitely not pretty. If this steak hadn’t smelled so good, I wouldn’t have been able to eat it.”

  “Where’d you learn how to cook? Did you take classes in Europe?”

  She grimaced slightly, sinking back into her chair, taking a long sip of wine.

  “Let me guess. You dated a chef,” he teased with a small eye roll.

  “I learned how to cook after my dad died.” She acknowledged in a broken whisper. “My mom didn’t handle his death very well, at all. She climbed into bed and didn’t come out for over eight months.”

  “You said you were a senior in high school. That had to be hard for you.” Compassion and understanding filled his voice.

  “It was terrible. We didn’t know how to fix her or make it better for her. My parents were madly in love and my mom was always such a strong woman. But after my dad died, I thought we were going to lose her too,” she admitted quietly. “So I cooked and cleaned, John took care of all the house responsibilities and Tracy took care of my mom.”

  Reed leaned forward and reached for her hand. “How’d she get better?”

  “Well, after months of trying, my sister forced her—literally—to get out of bed and go running with her. From that day on, Tracy dragged her out of the house every day to either go running, biking, or boxing and a few months later she met Tom.” A small smile pulled at her lips. “They’re crazy about each other.”

  He gazed at her sympathetically, turning small circles in her palm with his thumb. “I’m sorry.”

  She wiped the hot tears dripping from her jaw. “Obviously, she’s fine now. Her and Tom fell in love the moment they laid eyes on each other, but I remember thinking she was gonna die of a broken heart after my dad died. It scared the hell out of me. The idea that loving somebody so much could hurt you so deeply. Deep enough you wanted to lay down and die without them...” JC shuddered at the memory. “Anyway, that’s how I learned to cook.”

  He brushed the wetness from her cheek with his knuckles. Reed frowned intently as if contemplating what to say. “Did you ever ask her?”

  “Ask her what?”

  “Ask her if loving your daddy so deeply was worth all the pain and sadness?”

  JC’s face fell expressionless. She felt as if a boulder had rolled down from the hillside and landed on her chest. Her chin quivered and she stared at him in astonishment.

  “I’m just askin’. You said earlier the last thing you’d ever want to do is put your words out there then have that person leave and never come back. Is that why you’re so afraid of words?” he questioned in a hushed voice.

  Totally dumbfounded, she opened her mouth to respond, only had no answer. Nobody but her sister ever talked to her so directly. JC’s gaze fell to the ocean. Was she afraid to love a man, fearing if he died, she’d have to survive the pain of a broken heart?

  Reed tugged on her hand and pulled her onto his lap. “I bet she’d tell you it was worth it. I bet your momma would do it all over again if she had the chance. Don’t ya think?”

  Her brows creased as she remembered his tattoo. Nearly half-dozen flowers represented the people he’d lost in his life. She hugged her arms around his neck and laid her cheek on his shoulder. “I don’t think my mom would change one thing in her life. She believes everything in life happens for a reason.” JC asked with empathy, “What happened to your dad after your momma died?”

  Tenderly, he stroked her leg from her hip to her foot, slipping the strap of her heels from behind her ankles. Reed rubbed her feet, seemingly admiring every detail, taking a long amount of time to answer. “After my momma died, my father drank his way all the way to the pearly gates.” He huffed out a sad matter-of-fact chortle. “He just gave up, climbed into a bottle and never came out. He’d always been a drinker, but he couldn’t live without her.”

  She caressed his earlobe with her fingers. “That’s one of the saddest things I’ve ever heard.”

  “I was pissed at him for a long time, but I understand now. That was his decision. I happen to think life is worth living. No matter how painful at times.”

  They snuggled together in silence as the sun slowly sank into the ocean.

  Reed Rider had just told her something about herself she’d never been able to figure out or accept. Her mother had asked her, Tracy questioned her about it, even John brought the conversation up once and mocked her several times in a brotherly teasing way. Why are you so afraid of falling in love? In less than a week, Reed understood her more than anyone did. JC was afraid, absolutely terrified, to love a man wholeheartedly then lose him.

  “I didn’t mean to upset you.” Reed kissed her shoulder.

  She stood from his lap and turned to face him, standing between his thighs. “You didn’t upset me. I’m surprised you understand me. And I happen to agree. Life is worth living.”

  “JC, I need to tell—”

  She kissed him. Every fear she ever had escaped her. Every wall she’d built up came tumbling down. Every rule in her rulebook was about to be broken. JC kissed him without thoughts. Only feelings. She savored the heat of his mouth, the smoky hint of wine on his breath, the rhythm of his heartbeat.

  Recklessly allowing herself to become fully absorbed in his kiss without limits or boundaries. She searched deeper with her tongue, consumed in greedy possessive ki
sses. He responded ravenously with needs of his own, anchoring his mouth over hers. There were no thoughts or impulses, only raw passionate pleasure. The warm touch of his hands sparked pleasing flicks of heat on her skin cooled from the evening air. She moaned into his mouth, wanting more. Needing more.

  Breathless, she pulled herself from his lips. Tremors rocked her core and she ached between her thighs. Gasping for air and composure, Reed leaned forward, resting his forehead between her breasts as she dragged her fingers through his long layered waves of dark blond hair. His thumbs turned slow circles over her hips.

  She tilted his face upward, staring into his pleasure clouded eyes and grinned. “Happy birthday.”

  “Jesus, woman. If you tell me you have a red bow hidden under this dress—”

  “Reed, I don’t have a damn thing on underneath this dress.”

  His breath hitched. Rising out of his chair, he grabbed her hand to lead her inside. JC didn’t budge. He turned back, facing her as they stood on the balcony under the darkness of the night sky. She coaxed his fingers to the tie of her wrap dress. Together they pulled. The black dress listed open in the center, exposing her naked body. The flicker of the candle cast dancing shadows over the dips and contours of her form. Reed slipped his hands inside the clingy material, parting it further as he cupped the weight of her breasts in his palms.

  She shrugged, easing the dress off her shoulders and onto the ground. His gaze was intent, slowly absorbing every curve of her body. “You’re so beautiful,” Reed murmured.

  Lowering his head, he clamped his mouth to hers, kissing her with long, deep, indecent strokes of his tongue. His strong, rough worked hands roamed over her as she clung to his rigid shoulders. She fumbled with the buttons of his shirt. Frustrated with her own clumsiness, JC yanked at the opening near the collar, sending buttons flying across the balcony. “Sorry,” she mumbled under his lips. “I’ll get you a new shirt.”

  Slipping her palms under his t-shirt, she relished in the heat of the flexing surface of his back.

  “That’s it,” he groaned.

  JC let out a squeal as Reed hoisted her over his shoulder and carried her to her bedroom. He tossed her onto the bed with ease, provoking another squeal. She scrambled over the white comforter to the edge of the bed on her knees, pulling frantically at the hem of his shirt. He clasped his hands on her elbows and lifted her effortlessly to her feet.

  “Easy,” he whispered, stroking her spine.

  “I don’t want to be easy. I can’t wait anymore. I need you.” It was true. She’d never needed a man, but she needed Reed.

  A deep chuckled rumbled in his chest under her cheek. He tugged at his shirt and removed it over his head. She clung to him and twisted her face, searching for his mouth. Heat and arousal spread over her as he clasped her face in his hands and kissed her passionately with long glides of his tongue. Taut nipples brushed against the soft hair covering his chest, sending tingling sensations to her belly and lower. She reached down, making progress with his belt buckle. Both released a deep groan as her fingers traced languidly over the bulge in his jeans.

  JC sank back onto the edge of the bed, nuzzling her head on his chiseled stomach. Her eyes drifted shut, inhaling the heated male scent of his skin, raking her fingers through the thin trail of dark hair down his abs. He stood between her thighs, stroking her hair as she unbuttoned his jeans. She tugged them lower on his hips, releasing his erection from his boxers, dropping his jeans to the floor. “Reed, you are such a man. You’re...gorgeous,” she stammered in awe at the sheer masculinity of his physique.

  A low moan escaped his throat as she breathed on him, sliding her wet tongue down his hard, silky flesh. JC yearned for this bond with Reed, the scent of him, the taste of him, pleasing him. Gripping the base of his impressive shaft, she took him in her hand. He was built to size all over, her fingers couldn’t encircle the thick column. It’d be impossible for her to fit all of him into her mouth, but she was determined to try. She lifted her gaze, connecting with his stare as she licked the length of him. Opening her mouth, she took in the ridge, working at him, inch by inch, as much as she could manage.

  Reed’s breathing roughened and his grip tightened into the mass of her hair. He backed away, but she slipped off the edge of the bed and followed without releasing him from the suction of her mouth. Kneeling in front of him, she wanted more.

  “JC, darlin’, stop…wait. It feels too good. Stop,” Reed panted through strained breaths.

  She shook her head, but was plucked from the floor and laid on the bed. He hovered over her and kissed her neck, but she nudged him onto his back. Crawling over him, she licked down his abs with strokes of hot desire. “I don’t want to stop. I want to make you feel good.”

  He pulled her next to him on the bed. “I’m pretty sure I feel better than I’ve ever felt in my entire life. We have all night.”

  “I want to taste you, Reed. I want you more than I’ve ever wanted anything in my life. I hope you don’t have to go to work cause you’re not getting out of my bed for days, maybe weeks, maybe ever.” Her words laced with amusement, but sentiment pricked at her eyes knowing she meant them sincerely.

  Rolling her onto her back, he captured her lips in a kiss that made her head reel, taking her mouth voraciously. He dragged his mouth away and brushed kisses down her neck, roaming over her body as if she was the Bellagio buffet, feasting on her neck and throat.

  He sank lower, anchoring her to the bed with the weight of his heavily muscled body. Taking her aching nipple into his mouth, Reed tugged gently between licks of his hot tongue before devouring the other breast. She clasped his jaw in her palms, threading her fingers into his thick head of hair. The slight scrape of his shaven jaw against the tender skin beneath her breast drew a low hiss from her parted lips.

  JC observed intently, absorbing the shadow of his lashes casting spikes upon his cheeks. Unfamiliar cravings swept through her as his strong hands slid beneath the arch of her back and sounds of desire hummed from his throat. The texture of the hair on his chest rubbed against her hips, igniting a fire that burned deep in her core. Her pulse raced and body throbbed with passion, wanting more, needing more. Her emotions began to unravel with each stroke of his hands and tongue.

  Reed pressed wet searing kisses along the dip of her abdomen. “You smell so good. You feel good. I want you,” he murmured, spreading her legs wider to explore even lower, pressing kisses on the inside of her thigh. “I want to make—”

  Coupled by old fears and new desires, wetness stung her eyes. Life isn’t about tomorrow, life is about today. Right now. She wiggled to free herself of his grip on her thighs.

  “Reed.”

  He responded with a soft pleasurable groan.

  JC nudged at his head. “Reed,” she whispered throatily. “I want to tell you something.”

  He rested his head on her tummy and gazed up at her. “You okay, darlin’?”

  She nodded. “Come up here.”

  He leaned over her, drawing each bud of her breast into his mouth before lying on his side and resting his head on his elbow. She turned on her side to face him, stroking his face with the palm of her hand. “I want to do it your way.”

  “My way? I like every way, darlin’,” he teased.

  “Reed Rider, I’m trying to tell you something,” she said with shaky breath. “I want to…I want to—”

  His brows rose to a point and a wry smile crossed his face. “You want to make love with me?” he questioned timidly, stepping in to save her from her awkwardness.

  “Yes, I want to make love to you.” Relieved by her own admission, she blew out a big puff of air. “Yep. That’s exactly right, Reed. I want to make love to you. That wasn’t hard at all to say out loud. I want to make—”

  “Oh, hell woman.” He rolled on top of her and wedging one leg between hers. “I’ve wanted to make love to you since the night I first laid eyes on you.”

  The stiff weight of his arousal press
ed against her thigh, but she needed to say more. “Wait, I need to ask you something.”

  “I don’t have a condom. If that’s what you’re going to ask. I assumed you were on the pill, but—”

  “That’s not what I was going to say. I am on the pill, but I’ve never, ever, not used a condom. You don’t use condoms?”

  Disappointment shadowed his face. “I told you, I haven’t dated in a while, but I’ll go the store if you’d feel better. I don’t have any issues, if that’s what you’re worried about. I promise.”

  Her brain hit a fork in the road. JC had always used a condom. However, the idea of feeling his skin inside her, flesh on flesh, wet and warm sent contractions rippling through her. I’m throwing that stupid rulebook in the fire pit tomorrow. “No more rules,” she mumbled. “I trust you.”

  “You sure?”

  She nodded.

  His hand coasted down the side of her waist. “What did you want to ask me?”

  “Honestly it’s more like sharing or bearing my soul, but it does require a favor or assistance on your part.”

  Relaxing onto one elbow, he gave her a comforting nod. “Okay, whatever you need.”

  Embarrassment flooded over her, confessing, “I’ve never admitted this before, but,”—her eyes veered to the hair on his chest—“I…geez. I can’t ever get off with a man.”

  His hand abruptly stopped caressing her. “I’m sorry, can you define that a little better for me? I’m confused on the ‘with a man’ part.” His brow furrowed in confusion.

  She poked his rock hard stomach, making him let out a whoof. Mortification set in and heat rose to her cheeks. “Reed! I mean, I’m great by myself.” She wiggled her fingers in the air. “Or if I play along—”

  “I think I can help you out,” he said with a guttural hint of humor. Challenge glimmered in the depths of his eyes as devilish grin danced on his lips. “Never?”

  Colored red with humiliation, she shook her head and bit on her lip nervously. “Not unless I touch myself.”

  He slipped an arm beneath her back and tugged her to the center of the bed. Reed tilted his head to the side as if contemplating her discomfiture. “You’re really stepping out of your comfort zone with me, aren’t you?”

 

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