The Celestial Sea

by Marina de Nadous

  Half the school appears present and I sit with various different groups, eating from a wide selection of ‘Pot Luck’ dishes. I watch the intrigued children from different schools plucking up courage to join in the unusual games and challenges along the horizontal planks. Guests always bring a dish to social gatherings. Food is expensive. We gave a dinner party recently, much as we would do at home. We shan’t be doing that again! An unwelcome dent has appeared in our housekeeping budget.

  I find Adrian hovering at the edges of the party, eventually finding his feet and playing guitar on the transformed deck. The generous area has been turned into a mini-stage and other musicians follow his performance. Guests mingle in the garden, enjoying the music. Adrian and I spend surreptitious time together, making sure we don’t appear as a couple. We do stand together to watch the huge bonfire take off, followed by an assortment of child-thrilling fire-works. For mid spring the weather is chilly, so our November Bonfire night feels pleasantly authentic in the crisp, night air.

  Late p.m. Adrian: Let me know when you are home, My Love——

  Mouse: You can follow me up, My Friend——I am already on our road. Just park lower down our driveway. Kinder will be upstairs the minute we get in. Can’t wait to be with you——alone——X

  Adrian: Just about to leave, Mouse. Let’s cut it down to something deeper. Not quite sure what——but down——down. Been on the surface for long enough. 20 mins.

  Mouse: Yes, My Love——let’s——am waiting for you——X

  Adrian’s intense request indicates a need to be in touch with himself. I know that now. His reaction to the full onslaught of a large crowd with surface level banter and frivolity is not a reflection of what we have together. I find Adrian uneasy in a crowd. He feels more comfortable in small, familiar groups with one to one relationships that achieve deep levels of sharing. In effect, Adrian is the complete opposite to The Laird who becomes unhappy when not surrounded by a crowd, although he too desires rich, personal friendships. On his own, with the family and me, my husband can be lethargic and disinterested. I sometimes wonder if I bore him.

  I have time to put the children to bed, light several candles and make up our fireside Nesty Place before Adrian arrives. I recently acquired some honey-coloured velvet curtains which I hang around the bed from hooks in the ceiling. They make a perfect screen for the candlelit boudoir. The dog jumps up at the sound of familiar feet on the deck and my tired friend steps with relief into the softly-lit cabin.

  The crackling fire entices Lord Swallow and his Lady through the velvet drapes to the sumptuous bed. I have gentle music playing. I know he will request silence when he lays me across the sheets later on. “Let’s move to our own music,” he will say. “I don’t want to be distracted by anyone else’s melody tonight.” Shoes are discarded, the kettle filled and we communicate in sign language and written notes. Adrian demands a complete stilling until we are in that sacred space and he can unwind. He is clasping his notebook; that highly prized passport to freedom. We lie quietly beside the wood-burning stove. Our lemon and ginger tea smells good. Cold toes in thick socks greet each other gently. There are pressing school issues to process——yes, I will help him with that. We work well together; perfect partners. He doesn’t kiss me. We turn down the bed and wrap each other up in our beautiful friendship. Lovemaking is not on tonight’s agenda. I know I should leave him to sleep and retire upstairs to my own bed, but we cannot be parted. All night we move together; the Rhythmic Dance claiming us even though we are dressed. We distract each other tantalizingly for hours, hardly sleeping as we savour our priceless gift. Eventually we snatch an hour or two of rest, although I notice we are so in tune that if either of us moves, the other naturally wakes.

  At five a.m the cockerels, {or roosters as they are known}, start their morning symphony and Lord Swallow and his Lady decide they are refreshed enough to open the hatch and sit out on the Boat’s deck. The wind is up and they need thick jumpers and deep hugs while tacking through the dancing waves. They share a bottle of warm Supergreens; a nourishing elixir of vegetables and herbs. A dash of lemon juice and fresh ginger adds celebration to their morning arrival on board. They are feeling bold, yet soft and loving. The notebook is in hand and they complete any last processing.

  And then they are kissing——my, how they kiss——for many, many minutes; the lightest of butterfly touch as their extraordinary bond drinks from the basin of their Celestial Ocean. He touches her then. His musical hands care and honour every curve and crevice with gentle adoration and healing love. He lingers over her womb; her hidden caesarean scar making him hesitate. She does not tell him it is there; he seems to know. He wants to coax deep feeling and connection to this part of her. She is ignited by his delicate touch——ignited and enthralled. Gently, she asks if he is feeling his integrity enough; perhaps he will allow her to make love to him? He replies that he hopes he is not using her; he has concerns and still needs to be sure. Ever one to put himself down, she waits until he is ready.

  She touches him lightly; her beautiful Prince——a Prince who has coped with abandonment as a baby, bullying as a schoolboy and parental split with stepmother complications during his childhood; issues that haunt and confuse him still, even though he is a mature man. She caresses him——she takes him into her——she loves him for a long time. But a sudden, alarming thought fills her; unexpected and shocking: “What if The Laird decides to come home early for breakfast? It is the sort of thing he might well do!” She voices her concerns, knowing they come for a reason. That is enough for our nervous Prince. He is dressed and out of the Castle Gates, running for his stead with surprising speed. “I’ll text,” he whispers in her ear, kissing her speedily on his exit. And that is that!

  She runs a bath, happy and content with the wonderfully rich, although interrupted time they have enjoyed together.

  Saturday 11th November 2006

  A.m. Mouse: Hope you are on your way and feeling relieved having turned right instead of left out of our drive. Sorry to give you a shock, My Darling. At least life will never be boring. Frustrating, certainly, but never boring! Hope I didn’t make you too tired by loving you all night? Spectacular Rainbow display I have to say. Drive carefully, My Beautiful Lord Swallow. I shall continue to make love to you while I wallow in my piping hot bath——wish you were in it with me. Love you——X

  Adrian: Away he flies——he heeds her warning——saving them from further questioning. Almost a comedy——almost. But his senses are filled with her smell——taste——feel——sound——sight. A ravishing beauty——his, but not his. Their special night together; toasty and sweet. Delicate whites on warm, soft skin. Caresses and sweet distraction. Entangled. He is calm again——warmed by their time——more to come. Angel-dusted time. Whirlwind of deceit and justification, honour and love.

  Mouse: He touches her completely. To move with him is to experience a master wielding a tool of the highest quality. The ease and grace are astonishing. She is left bathed in his essence. She can still feel his hands, his fingers——gentle and then strong——confirming their perfect love. I am running my hands over you as you drive——feeling and loving every inch of you. Take The Small One to meet the family. Make sure he keeps warm.

  Adrian: A freezing dip to cleanse the soul——a full tank and a beautiful day before him. Our Hero is happy. He sighs. A fresh-water spring ahead will replenish him further. And his Lady——what of her? Her scent has left his fingertips. Does she rest? He wonders at his desire to heal her womb——to awaken her whole body. He wonders——has she ever been loved? Is this not just conceit on his part? He stops in mist on the mountaintop to fill his water bottles. Dark clouds crowd the sky——

  Mouse: She snoozes, full of her Lover——bird on her shoulder chirping prettily, wanting food. She is sleepy and clean, loving the feeling of him close with his messages. Yes, he is right again. She has never been loved with sensuality and artistry. She feels tears come to her as she writes
. Loved, she most certainly is, but not in her natural medium; not with emotional, spiritual passion or lightness of adult touch——she realizes now. A rugby player’s hands are very different from an artist’s——oh——so very, very different. Exquisite delicacy——

  Adrian: Basin before him. Spring all around him. Tranquil, fresh greens——new lambs——calves. Found——what is this? ‘A market, a market to buy a fat pig’. Yes, lots of gifts to buy for my Lady——hmm——practical, or elegant? This one. Onward to Auckland——loving you——X

  Mouse: She needs him——she is allowing herself this illicit homecoming. The road is long and dull without the magic she recognizes as her birthright. She thanks her Fine Lord for his gift——for daring to run the gauntlet for her——for his gentle, healing hands——X

  The children are awake, calling from the landing. Rinky likes a morning cuddle in bed. I slide a tray of bacon under the grill and crack six eggs into a pan. I am hungry! I hope Adrian gets breakfast soon. He must be hungry too. How blessed I feel this morning. I might melt right away———

  Mouse: Lovely pictures from your journey, My Darling. Fire is quietly roaring on our Mountain——eggs and bacon and wicked toast all cooked. Kinder just awake. Sun gorgeous——Lady of the Castle needing more kip, like her Lord Swallow, she is sure. Can you send the last text again? Only got as far as ‘the pig’ and didn’t update——I really want to hear about the pig! Loving you lots——M——X

  Adrian: Mmm——bacon and eggs and my Lady with the good ideas——yum. I just figured a response to ‘Shut-Eye’ Tom at the party——tell you next time. Well, well, my Lover——we’ve got some things to——

  Farmers——going deeper——deep country——to a wetland reserve. Oh well——I’m sure it will come out somewhere. Falls road? Sounds interesting. The Toolbox, {my car}, is going well. The odd concerning noise——good old girl. Just arrived at a wetland. Another primordial scene——but come to a stop. What’s this? Flashing, rolling orange in the shallows——brawling carp——tons of them——huge——four feet from the shore. Stick in hand; I try in vain to catch one. A Chinese good luck sign?

  Mouse: Thanks for glorious messages. Remind me about ‘Shut-Eye Tom’? I love the detours your journeys take. T’would drive The Laird mad but delight his Lady.

  Adrian: I love your ideas. Farm development——rolling business——I’m in if there’s any way for us to work together——I’m in. How I could sink into you right now, woof! Number plate just went past——MISTRESS! Motorway experience is much better for texting, when parked of course. Soon to see my Sister, wishing you were with me. Okay——keep messaging me.

  Mouse: Wish you were sinking into me right now, My Darling. Sinking is the right word——sinking to the Ocean depths with a strong wedge keeping The Gate open. Knife-edged keels and exquisite balance, sailing and deep-sea diving, integrity and solidarity. My, my, Lord Swallow——hallowed, celestial water is being approached. Hold on tight to the Boat’s tiller——X

  P.s No surprise breakfast visit from The Laird——wonder what the warning was all about? Perhaps we needed to STOP there——needed some extra help though. I was certainly ready to consume you entirely. Have we reached a new level? How are you feeling, My Love? I feel something has shifted. Big, big love——feel so close——X

  Our day passes happily enough. The Go-Getter is building a giant Lego monster in his bedroom and Rinky has been ordered to ‘stay out!’ She has been searching for chicken eggs this afternoon, discovering a new location under the back door step. She can just reach her hand in. Good. I shall make a tray of chocolate cake. The Laird arrives home in time for tea.

  P.m. Adrian: So the day closes——its experiences spread like a rich meal before me. In the arms of my beloved——then the journeyman seeing God’s sights——the market——then into the bosom of the family——mind-talk and the Stepmother. Big discussion——reconnection with both. The family arrives——nieces and nephews——connections and catch up——laughter and stories——music——Jack Johnson. Teaching nephew Nick to play guitar——encouragement of the young——then the quiet——

  Mouse: Sleepy day. Late afternoon sun fills the valley as savory smells fill the Mountain kitchen. She wonders how his day is going——how he finds his sister, his family. She wonders——does he talk about her——about their union? She wishes she were with him. What would his family think of their unusual situation? She stirs the boiling pots. Some special moments marked today that he would have enjoyed. Silly giggles over funny story read to kinder as they fed each other olives from a dangerously full jar on the sofa——stabbing them with a fork and feeding each other; a very serious business, especially if trying to spit stones into the bin at the same time. Meanwhile, the hairy Castle Hound is also squeezed onto said sofa, trying to go unnoticed; gormless eyebrows raised——wondering how she can get in on the act. The Castle Mistress is almost falling off her seat with mirth at funny story. Ho hum——all in a day’s work.

  Laird very happy with the world tonight——he managed a quick trip with the children to play mini-golf——now crashed out on sofa, snoring. Usual story——off button now triggered. He doesn’t seem to have a middle switch. It is either full ON, or full OFF. She has to admit to another snooze herself. Sofa in question is seeing a lot of action today! Castle Mistress is definitely tired after night of such passion where every move was greeted with sensuality and checked ardour. Lord Swallow leaves his Lady open and intoxicated——desiring him more everyday. Sleep well, My Beautiful Man. Sleep long and well——your Lady——X

  Sunday 12th November 2006

  A.m Adrian: To continue: A deep chat with my Stepmother Pat about her life——then the arrival of my psychic Aunt Lynn. Time to tell the family about the Small One? Plunge on in. Yes——Aunt Lynn could see a light above to my left——maybe——he is part of my family now. Walk to the beach——doggie and I. Lugging beautiful, but weighty stones up hundreds of steps——carrying a heavy baby! Phew. Funny thing to do. Supper and conversation about Christ. Then watched a D.V.D on the newly found gospel of Judas. Blessed sleep.

  Your texts were waiting in cyber space for me to down load by sending the first. Well, nice to hear of such peace——and relief——yes, you were spoken of——Pat gets it; she knows how intuition and destiny work. She doesn’t judge. She has made this move herself with my Father. My Father questioned the married thing but didn’t openly disapprove. I took it back and said I would not speak about that with him, but would own it myself. I didn’t ask for his approval——just his trust in me to make my own decisions. Yes, so you are here. Pat and I talked a lot——I told her about us——she’s interested——on our side——welcoming. So, my Wife and Child are part of my family at last——mmm——21st silicon boy with his virtual family. Off to the market today——a big one——before seeing my Mother Jenny. Might mulch her garden for her. Don’t feel drawn to church——why? Enough richness? Forgive me——Humble Lady. I love you.

  Mouse: My Darling, how warming to feel you close; how comforting to know we two are acknowledged by your family. New beginnings—new life for us all. I imagine us in Dragonfly Cove this morning——making love under the heavenly, green canopy, our Dance graceful and poetic. Your entry into me as perfect as the incoming tide lapping the edges of the cove——gentle, timely, destined——washing in and up. We are smiling at each other——

  Sunday church. The children complain——and Cedric is left asleep in bed. The younger two can be bribed with a café treat after the service but Cedric is beyond persuading, much to the upset of his commanding father. I learn nothing new in the sermon. The older priest presides today. A young American girl comes to the front of the church and speaks about a youth initiative. I don’t think we shall become involved. The Laird has enough on his plate in the religious department at College.

  Mouse: How go lunch and the mulching? We are just out of church——felt you and Little Arthur sitting beside me on my lef
t; it is always the left. The Small One was wearing long shorts of a mossy green shade and lace-up, leather boots like his Father. Same curly hair, same fine build. I enjoyed seeing you with each other. I loved having you by my side. Our hands were linked——even The Laird smiled at you and held the Small One for a while. Then on to the café for a celebratory breakfast——we moved onto our Mountain a year ago today! We are heading home to garden and get The Scowler out of bed. Later we will watch a family film and eat popcorn——probably snooze as well. A day of family treats. The Laird and I are in the process of discussing property and life-choices——should throw some interesting light on things. If you feel like a chat, text me as you head home. I should manage the odd missive. Loving you so much. Your Lady. X

  Adrian: Running late——big process with Stepmother Pat——wow——all the way——big relief——she totally got it. On my way to Mother Jenny’s now. Sister Sophie and fiancé will be there. Feeling humble and a little stretched——solar plexus doing some tight thing. Something around doing too much. Mind-talk-—process time. Gotta go——X

  P.s——love the way you dress The Small One.

  Adrian’s messages keep me beside him while he is in Auckland. I am with him on his adventures, meeting the family and experiencing all the ups and downs. Life is never boring with Lord Swallow. I realize that on a personal level I do get bored with The Laird. I wonder how Jenny will find her son. Will she notice any changes? I have only met her once. Adrian often speaks of her——she is a nervous, musical lady with a heavy mind load. I suppose Adrian is very like her. I was interested to hear that her surname is ‘Albourne’——as in the Sussex village. Her family originally came from England. This piece of information is particularly interesting because my mother’s family has strong connections with the very same village. We must find out more about that coincidence.