“For me?” I put a hand to my chest. Any reason he had to look for me wasn’t going to be good.
“Yes. Let us go to the atrium.”
I nodded and followed him down the corridor toward where I’d been with Caspian the night before.
He took a seat in a bright red arm chair and gestured for me to sit on the blue chair beside it. I sat, trying to stay calm.
He folded his hands in his lap. “Have you ever wanted for anything since you came to live with us?”
“No. Of course not. You have been good to me.” I bowed my head.
“Look at me, child.” His voice was stern, and I knew the only choice I had was to listen.
I lifted my head.
“Did we not rescue you from a planet bound for destruction?”
“You did. And I can never repay that debt.”
“Did we not care for you, educate you, treat you as if you were one of our own?” His hands balled into fists.
“Yes. And I am forever grateful.” I hoped I sounded sincere. If there was ever a time for a modifier this was it.
“Then why is it so hard for you to do one thing for us?” His dark eyes zeroed in on mine.
I said nothing. I shivered.
“You had your chance to object. I gave you that chance, and you made your feelings known loud and clear.”
“You asked me when I was twelve,” I spoke softly, but I knew it was loud enough for him to hear.
“Twelve. Perfectly old enough to decide if you wanted my son as your life mate. You were very eager then.”
I nodded.
“But you do not seem eager now.”
“That’s not true.” I forced myself to return his gaze. “I’m very happy.”
“Don’t lie to me, child.”
“I’m not lying.”
“Then why did you deny Caspian last night?”
I froze. Had Caspian told his father about our conversation? I couldn’t imagine.
“Before you start directing your anger at my son understand he didn’t need to say a word. I could tell. Do you know why I keep calling you child?”
I shook my head. It was better than forcing myself to answer.
“Because you are acting as one. I expect your behavior to change immediately, starting with when Caspian returns.”
“Returns from where?” Had he left Andrelexa without telling me?
“A mission off-planet. It was an emergency situation. He will be back soon.” The Emperor leaned back in his chair.
“I understand.”
“Do you also understand there will be consequences if that doesn’t happen?” He leaned toward me.
“Yes.”
“Consequences you don’t want, and Caspian will never hear of.” He sat back. “Until then I would like you to have a meeting with Dr. Graham. He may be able to help you work through your current predicament. Alda will accompany you.”
“Oh.” This was a change for the positive. I got to meet with the other Earth survivor and see Alda. Wins on all accounts. “Thank you.”
“Don’t thank me with your words. Do it with your actions.”
“Yes.” I nodded.
“You may go now. Alda is waiting for you in the observatory.”
I bowed and hurried out of the room. I thought over my conversation with the Emperor as I headed up the five flights of stairs to the observatory. I could have taken a lift, but I preferred stretching my legs.
I stepped into the enormous observatory. All the walls and the ceiling were made up of seamless windows giving an unbelievable view of the sky.
I glanced around the empty room. Evidently Alda hadn’t arrived yet. Maybe the Emperor had initially planned to chide me for longer.
I walked over to one of the window walls and pressed my hand against it. How I longed to go outside. The four suns of Andrelexa sat high in the sky, lighting up the entire landscape.
“Pretty view isn’t it?” A male voice asked from behind. “Although I have to say I still miss watching an Earth sunset.”
I turned to see Dr. Graham watching me. He was wearing a white lab coat that went nearly down to his shoes.
“I don’t remember them. I guess I was too young.” I was lucky I remembered anything from my time before Andrelexa.
“I hear you’ve been having some trouble.” He perched on the end of an upholstered chair.
“I guess that depends on how you describe trouble.” I had been excited to talk to this man, but not when ordered to by the Emperor. I had no idea what his intentions were.
“Would you like to take a walk?”
“Can you handle the air out there?” I gasped. I’d been warned that even a second outside without a full suit for protection would mean an immediate and painful death.
He chuckled. “Of course not. I guess I should have made myself clear. A walk on the interior sky deck above.” He pointed up.
“Oh. Yes. I’d like that.” If there was any spot I liked more than the observatory it was the sky deck.
“After you.” He gestured for me to start up the spiral stairs first.
For a fleeting second I considered suggesting we wait for Alda, but I didn’t. This was the first human I’d met. I wasn’t going to lose the chance.
He followed me up the stairs.
I started a lap around the expansive track that circled the room.
He kept pace. “I didn’t realize you were from Earth.”
“Oh. I thought it was very obvious.” I glanced out at the suns. I wondered if they looked anything like the singular sun the Earth once had.
“I knew the Emperor’s son had chosen a life mate, but no one ever mentioned where you were from.”
“They never told me there was an Earth doctor…”
“I’m sure their decision to keep our existence from one another was purposeful. And I am sure there is a purpose for telling us now.”
“You mean you don’t know either?” Considering he’d been talking to Caspian privately I assumed he knew.
“I know why I’m here now. That I understand. But I don’t understand why they decided to tell you where I’m from.”
“Why are you here?” He knew more than I did.
“I was an obstetrician on Earth.”
“What’s that?” I removed my translator, curious if I’d still be able to understand him.
“I delivered babies.”
“Oh.” I understand him perfectly. He was speaking in English, one of my languages. And I didn’t like the words he was saying.
“They’ve asked me so many questions about human reproduction. Some of the research they asked me to look into—well, they said it was big picture and long term- but now I wonder if it was all for you.”
“Gardenia thinks it’s fully possible. That Caspian and I can…” I trailed off.
“You didn’t come to this planet willingly did you?” He slowed but kept moving around the track. “It’s ok. You can tell me.”
“Well, my adoptive father saved me. He got me off Earth before the destruction.”
“The destruction?” His forehead furrowed.
“Yes… were you already on another planet when they found you, or did you come at the same time?”
He stopped short. “Oh my.” He started to sweat profusely, and he looked away.
“What?” Panic seized me. What had I said to worry him so much?
“We can’t talk here.” He looked around wildly.
“What do you mean?”
“Meaning we can’t talk here.”
“Where can we talk?” I needed to understand his reaction.
“I think we need to follow up on these issues.” He spoke far more loudly than he’d been doing before.
I quickly realized he was doing it in case anyone was listening.
“Please come with me to my lab.”
“Yes. Of course.” I nodded and followed Dr. Graham as he practically stumbled down the spiral stairs.
Alda was waiting below.
She frowned when she saw us. “Is everything okay?”
“Yes. But we need to move over to my lab. Will you join us?”
“Yes. Let’s go.” Alda stayed close to my side as we stepped into the lift and headed down to the lowest levels of the palace. The lift stopped, and we all got off.
We made our way, silently, down the hall to a nondescript metal door. Dr. Graham placed his hand over the reader and the doors opened.
We slipped in before the doors slammed closed behind us. I looked over at Alda. She was looking the other way, as if avoiding my gaze.
Dr. Graham led the way into a small office. “I am sorry for the added dramatics.”
“Please tell me, why did you get so strange earlier?” I stepped into the office but hovered near the door.
“I think I will wait outside for this.” Alda grabbed my hand. “Please believe me when I tell you they lied to me too. I will stand guard. You may speak freely to the doctor.” She released my hand before I could react and closed the office door.
“What’s going on?” Why was Alda leaving us? And what did she mean she didn’t know?
“Rachel…” Dr. Graham took a seat behind a large metal desk. “Why don’t you take a seat.”
I listened, mostly just so he’d get to the point faster.
“I know the royal family has been good to you.”
I nodded. “Very.”
“But I’m afraid…” He looked down at the desk and then back up at me. “I’m afraid they’ve been lying to you.”
The hair on the back of my neck stood up. “What do you mean?”
He rubbed the back of his neck. “I’ve been here less than a year.”
“So you came from a different planet? Are there more human survivors elsewhere?” Yet another reason I needed to get into the Explorers. I needed to find them.
“No.” He leaned forward on his elbows. “No. I came directly from Earth.”
“No.” I shook my head. “That’s impossible.”
“It’s true. They appealed for me to come. They knew my son’s cancer was untreatable with Earth technology. They cured him and he will live a full life. In return I promised to come here and stay to help with an important research project.”
“You’re lying.” I dug my nails into the palm of my other hand. “Why are you lying?”
“I’m not lying, but I know that must be hard for you to accept.”
“The Earth is gone. I saw the images with my own eyes. There’s nothing left. Not even enough to go back and harvest resources.”
“The Earth was never destroyed. It is still there.” He pressed a button behind him, turning on a projector. I watched as images of children playing surrounded us. They were on grass—something I hadn’t seen or felt in thirteen years— and the sky was so blue.
“That’s fake.”
“It’s not.” He pressed another button, and an image of Earth rotating came into view. He focused in. “See the time stamp there? This was taken earlier today. Earth is still there.”
“But. No.” I shook my head. “Why would they have lied?”
“I can’t tell you for sure, but my guess is it has to do with Caspian.”
“There is no way Caspian knows. He’d never lie to me like this.” I fidgeted with the chain around my neck.
“He knows. He’s the one who came to see me on Earth. It was his project he needed help with. I had no idea.” Dr. Graham paused. “I had no idea he had a human prisoner here.”
Prisoner. Was I a prisoner? I’d never viewed myself that way… well, not until recently.
My chest was heavy. I gasped for breath.
“So Telton knew too…”
“The General of the Explorers? Yes. He came to see me too.”
“This can’t be real. This all has to be a lie.” I buried my face in my hands.
“It’s not.” Dr. Graham spoke soothingly. “You can see for yourself. I have full access to monitor the galaxies here. See what happens when you look for it yourself.” I’d looked for plenty of planets before. It was the closest I ever got to exploring. I’d of course pulled up Earth, but I only got old footage. I used his tablet, typing in the coordinates that always showed me black emptiness. And there it was. A blue ball rotating. I dropped the tablet on the floor.
“Rachel? I know this is a lot to take.” He walked around the desk.
“I need to get out of here. I can’t.” I yanked on the chain even though I knew it was no use.
“Can I help you with that?” He reached for something near his desk.
“It’s made of Narva gold; it’s never coming off.”
“I suspected as much, but that doesn’t mean you can’t leave.” His gaze was intense and powerful. “I cannot believe I didn’t know… I should have asked more questions. Your family must be so worried. You said you’ve been here since you were young? How long has it been?
“Thirteen years.” I breathed in and out slowly. Even the inside air was heavy on carbon dioxide. I couldn’t work myself up too much.
“It’s not too late. We can right this wrong.”
“Like the Emperor is going to let that happen?” I tugged on the chain uselessly. “Caspian has made his decision. It’s too late.”
“You were raised here, and maybe that means the customs of the Lexas are yours too, but you have every right to leave.”
“I can’t.” I looked down at the ground. “I can’t do this now.”
“Then don’t. Take tonight. Find me tomorrow if you want my help.”
“Thank you.” I was careful to look him in the eye. “No matter what happens, thank you for your honesty.”
“Rachel?” His voice grew serious. What else could be coming?
“Yes?”
“Don’t take anything they offer you.”
“What do you mean?”
“The drugs. Don’t take them.”
“The modifiers?” I leaned back in the chair.
“Yes. I’m worried they may have used them on you before.”
“I took one last night,” I admitted. “The princess suggested it… I didn’t know what to do.”
“But never before?”
“No.”
“Keep it that way. Fake your feelings if you have to. You don’t have to give them any more power than they already have.”
5 Rachel
Alda was ready the moment I left the room. She was several feet outside the office standing midway between two lab benches. “Are you all right? What can I do?”
I studied her, staring into her eyes to make sure it was the same Alda in there. “How long have you known?” She’d always been there for me, but she worked for the royal family. Had they truly kept her in the dark this whole time?
“Only a few hours longer than you.” She maintained complete eye contact, as if trying to convey a deeper level of truth.
“How? How did you find out?”
“I overheard Dr. Graham speaking with Caspian last night. I did some digging...” She put a hand on my arm. “I know I should have told you sooner, but I needed to know for sure. I could hear your conversation with Dr. Graham on the track… I knew he’d tell you... it’s still so hard for me to accept, let alone explain.”
“What kind of digging?” I struggled to stay calm. There was too much coming at me all at once.
“That footage he showed you is real… I checked up on it myself as soon as I learned.”
“What do you mean?” There was no way she’d gone to the Emperor. If she we wouldn’t have been standing there.
“I checked the master systems and lists. There is no record of Earth exploding. The detonation was cancelled.”
I put my hands on my knees and breathed in and out. “I can’t breathe.”
Alda fell to her knees next to me. “Sure you can. Slow, even breaths. That’s it. In and out.”
I listened. I tried to calm down. “I have to confront him.” I relaxed down to my knees. “I need to hear it from him.” I assumed I
didn’t need to use Caspian’s name.
“But it might be too late… if he finds out you know...” She rubbed my back. “Can you risk that?” Alda was questioning Caspian. I never imagined I’d hear her do that. Could she really help me even if it meant going against the royal family? Was she putting herself at risk?
“No matter what I do, what will happen to Dr. Graham? How can I think of leaving and letting him get in trouble? Or you? What if they found out?”
“We’ll make it look like you found it out yourself. You’ve been acting odd already, and your work with the androids is impressive. It is completely plausible that you hacked the master systems yourself. You have been obsessed with the Explorers, so it makes perfect sense you’d want to further your studies of the outer galaxies. And don’t worry about me. I have always taken care of myself just fine. I’m thinking this might be a good chance to see my family. I haven’t been out of the capital in years.”
I was hit by guilt. Her family? In all the years I’d known her I had never figured out she had a family somewhere else. “You’ve thought this through.” And I was surprised. Not that she’d be loyal to me… Alda had never been anything but true to me, but that she’d devise a plan to let me leave.
“I know of no other way to live with myself. Pampered or not you were a prisoner, and I helped keep you here.” Large tears slipped down her face. “I will never forgive myself. Your poor family. I can’t imagine what they’ve been through.”
“This isn’t your fault. You didn’t know.” Unlike Caspian who knew and let me believe a lie. A fresh wave of anger surged through me. Followed by hurt.
“But I should have.” Alda wiped tears from her eyes.
“Do you think Caspian knew all along?” Had he truly lied to me from the very beginning? Had every minute of our friendship been based on untruths?
“I can’t answer that. Only he can.”
“Yet you said it yourself, it’s dangerous to ask him.”
“What will you do now?” She rose.
“I don’t know. I don’t even have a room to rest in.”
“You have Caspian’s.”
“It’s his room.” And the last thing I wanted to do was spend time in anything belonging to him. I wasn’t surprised the Emperor would trick me. Even Gardenia I could accept. But Caspian? How had I fallen for his act for so many years, and why was it that I was just starting to see through it when the truth came out? What had changed so suddenly?
Stardust: Half Light Page 4