Stardust: Half Light

by Alyssa Rose Ivy

  Rachel shook her head. “I want Noah here.”

  Yet again her words made me happy, even though they probably shouldn’t. I told myself it was because I liked being helpful, but it was more than that. Not that I was ready to accept that yet. “I’m here.”

  “Ok. How about we set the where you’re from part aside and focus on your brother. Isn’t that who you’re looking for?” Angie placed her bag down on the counter and walked around to the kitchen table.

  “Yes. Benjamin.” Rachel pivoted.

  “Okay. Why do you think he’s here?” Angie took a seat at the table.

  “This was the last place I saw him.”

  “New Orleans?” Angie pulled out the chair next to her and gestured for Rachel to join her.

  Rachel took the seat. “Yes, but specifically this house. Well, outside, but at this house.”

  “You’ve been in this house before?” Dale interrupted.

  “I lived in this house before I…before I left New Orleans.”

  “Oh. And when was that?” Angie asked casually.

  “When I was a child.”

  “Okay. And why did you leave without your brother?” Dale jumped in again.

  Rachel paled.

  Great. Dale had struck again.

  I’d planned to largely let Angie handle this conversation, but I had to smooth over Dale’s words. They sounded like an accusation of wrongdoing. Without any evidence to support my point of view, I still didn’t think she could have intentionally done anything wrong. “What he meant was why haven’t you seen him in so long?”

  “I was so young and confused.” Rachel folded her hands on the table in front of her.

  Angie gave me a look. “Noah, can we talk for a sec?”

  “Wait. You’re leaving?” Rachel’s eyes were wide.

  “Just for a second. And Dale will be here.” Angie smiled in a way I assumed was supposed to be reassuring.

  Dale grinned. There was no way that was reassuring.

  “It will only be a minute.” I didn’t particularly want to leave her with Dale, but I figured there was a reason Angie was pulling me to the side.

  I followed Angie into my room. I was having a lot of conversations in my room today.

  Angie closed the door. “Okay. There’s been some sort of trauma here.”

  “You’re a history student not a psychologist.” I leaned back against my desk.

  “I know… but I’m also a woman. I can tell these sorts of things.”

  “What are you suggesting?” My stomach turned at the thought of anyone hurting Rachel.

  “We need to make her feel safe enough to confide in us so we can get her help.”

  “Help? To find this brother?” I really hoped the brother actually existed. He seemed to be the only thing she really knew or cared about.

  “Get real, Noah. Her brother? Who she hasn’t seen since she was a little girl? You really think he’s here? For all we know he’s made up.”

  Just as when Dale used the screw loose comment, hearing my thoughts come from someone else’s mouth made them seem vile. “He’s real.” And no matter what else happened, I knew I had to help Rachel find him.

  10 Noah

  Angie knew me well enough to give up easily. “Ok. Whether he’s real or not, my plan is still the same.”

  “As long as your plan involves helping her, I’m game.”

  “You’ve never been one to get blinded by a pretty face.” Angie sat on the edge of my bed. “Or a nice set of legs.”

  “She does have both of those things.”

  “Noah.” She rolled her eyes.

  “Sorry. Couldn’t help it. Okay. Your plan involves her confiding in us, but what’s the end goal? She’s not a student. We can’t use health services or any university counseling or anything. Isn’t that what you’re talking about? All that trauma talk?”

  Angie pulled her legs up under her. “We need to figure out if she has any family around here. Friends. How did she even get here?”

  “And how are we going to do that? She won’t even tell us where she came from.” And that part was starting to get to me. Everyone was entitled to secrets, but she had too many.

  “You’re going to talk to her.”

  “Me?” I put a hand to my chest.

  “Yes, you. She trusts you. You saw how she reacted when I suggested we talk without you. It’s probably some attachment issue.”

  “Again, you have no training in psychology.” I eyed my closed door. I really hoped Dale was being normal. Well, as normal as Dale could be.

  “Do you deny she seems to have latched on to you specifically?”

  “Maybe it’s normal. I’m the one who let her in. She met me first.” And now it sounded like I was talking about a dog. Real nice.

  “She needs to get changed. Maybe after we can get her to leave the house for a bit. Get some fresh air, and she’ll start talking.”

  I had to admit, Angie had a good point. “Thanks for coming.”

  Angie shrugged. “I don’t want you to get arrested or killed.”

  “And you think Rachel is going to lead to one of those things?” I shook my head.

  “I don’t think she’s dangerous. I’m not going to pretend it’s a psychology thing, just an instinct. But that doesn’t mean she doesn’t have dangerous friends. Like I said there’s trauma there.”

  “Like how she said she was really confused about why she left without her brother…” I trailed off. There had to be a story there, and I had a feeling it was going to be a very dark one.

  “Yes, and you are going to have to get answers.”

  “And you’ll stay around until I do?” I didn’t want to sound like I needed my sister, but I did. Maybe Rachel was attached to me or something, but having another girl around couldn’t hurt. Particularly one like Angie.

  “You’re the only brother I have.”

  “I know.” And I hated to think about that. Angie and I had been through a dark history of our own.

  “All right. I hope you’re ready.” Angie rose and walked over to the door.

  We walked back out. Rachel was still sitting at the kitchen table. Dale was sitting across from her.

  “Hey.” I walked into Rachel’s line of sight. “Want to try on the clothes Angie brought over? She’s tall like you are, so maybe they’ll fit well.”

  “Oh. Thanks.” Rachel stood, picked up the bag, and walked down the hall to my room. She closed the door behind her.

  As soon as the door closed, Dale leaned in. “You could have left her in that t-shirt a few minutes longer.”

  “You are such an asshole.” Angie smacked his arm.

  He rubbed his arm. “It’s a joke. Ever hear of it?”

  “It’s misogynistic.”

  “Oh… big fancy words.” He slumped down in his chair.

  “You know what that means.”

  “Can you two stop?” I groaned. “We have bigger things to worry about.”

  “If Dale doesn’t rein it in, we will have bigger problems.”

  She was right. Completely right. “Angie is right. Chill out.”

  “I get you called dibs.” A smile replaced the frown on his face.

  “This has nothing to do with dibs. Rachel’s clearly got some issues. We need to help her.”

  “Do you think she maybe, uh, took something to cause this?” Dale tapped the side of his head. “It wouldn’t be the first time.”

  “This is trauma, not drugs.” Angie leaned back against the counter.

  “They aren’t mutually exclusive.” Dale leaned forward on his elbows. “Often they go hand in hand.”

  Before I could say anything Rachel came out of my room dressed in jeans and a purple long sleeve shirt. “This is better than what I wore last night, right?”

  Better was a hard word when comparing anything to a tight black bodysuit. “You look very nice.”

  “Would you like to take a walk? Get some fresh air?” Angie jumped to her feet. “Noah will
come of course.”

  “Of course,” Dale used a patronizing voice I hoped she didn’t pick up on.

  “What about finding Benjamin?”

  “We need to come up with a plan first.” I hoped that bought us some time. “A walk might help us with that.” I wasn’t sure what was going to help with that, but I was all for trying.

  “Sure.” Rachel put a hand in her pocket, watching as her fingers disappeared inside. It was almost as if she’d never seen a pocket before. “Can we go to the park? I remember loving it there.”

  Angie and I exchanged looks. This was good. I was pretty sure it was. She was opening up more. “Audubon Park?”

  “I don’t remember what it was called. But it was close to here.”

  “I bet it’s this one. It’s just down the street.” Angie smiled. “Noah, let her borrow a sweatshirt. It’s cool out this morning.”

  I headed to my room and grabbed a generic grey zip-up hoodie. I handed it to her after unzipping it. If she hadn’t seen pockets before, it wasn’t a far stretch to think that she hadn’t seen zippers either.

  She smiled in thanks and slipped it on. It was big on her, but she didn’t seem to care. She examined the zipper before dropping it and leaving it open. I thought it wise not to offer to help. Embarrassing her wasn’t going to help us.

  We headed out. It took me a minute to get the door to lock, and Rachel waited at the bottom of the stairs for me. “Your door isn’t very secure.”

  “No. It’s not.” If I thought the landlord would do anything about it I would have told him.

  “You should fix that.”

  “Okay. I will.” Rather I’d make a phone call. I wasn’t investing any money into this rental.

  “You promise?”

  Why did she care about the safety of my apartment? I figured it didn’t really matter. “Okay, I promise.”

  11 Noah

  Even dressed in jeans and my sweatshirt, there was something different about her. Her face had a kind of glow to it. There was also something so innocent, and not in the sexual way. In all ways.

  I tried not to stare too much as we made the walk over to Audubon Park, but I allowed my eyes to linger for a few moments as she stepped through the columns demarking the start of the park.

  “This is the park I remember.” Rachel hurried ahead. “I remember splashing the water around in that fountain with my brother.” She pointed at an old fountain I usually just walked past.

  “It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” Angie joined her by the fountain. “It’s the Gumbel Memorial Fountain. It’s been there since 1919, I think. Can you imagine having something so magnificent dedicated in your honor?”

  “Angie is a history nerd,” I quickly explained.

  Rachel smiled. “It is beautiful.”

  “How old were you when you left?” That seemed like a safe question and tangentially tied to talk of history.

  “I was five.” She dipped her hand into the water and moved it around. She closed her eyes.

  “And you’re how old now?” I needed to ask. I was pretty positive she was close to my age, but one could never know.

  “Eighteen.”

  “So thirteen years.” I thought about how much changed in that amount of time especially when you were a kid. “A really long time.”

  She opened her eyes. “Yes.” She looked at a couple of kids riding their bikes. “A lot has changed.”

  “I’m sure it has. The city has been through a lot since then.”

  “Every place has.” She wove her hand in the air to dry it off. “How long have you lived here?”

  “In New Orleans? This is my second year. I came here for college. I’m a sophomore.”

  “And where did you come from?” She pushed her hands inside the pockets of her borrowed sweatshirt.

  “St. Louis.”

  “Is that far from here?” She walked around the fountain toward the track that circled the park.

  “Driving it’s around ten hours.”

  “That’s not too far.” She looked every which way as she walked, slowing down every so often.

  “I take it you live further away than that now.”

  “Yes. Much further.” She walked ahead on the path. I glanced behind me. Angie and Dale had fallen back. I assumed that was purposeful on the part of Angie. She was giving me space to get answers. “This looks different. The entrance was the same, but this has changed.”

  “Oh yeah?” I wasn’t sure what to say. Not much had changed since I arrived in the city the year before.

  “I remember it feeling bigger.” She stopped and ran her palm over the bark of a tree.

  “Well, you were smaller.”

  “True.” She smiled and resumed walking.

  “Do you feel okay talking about your brother?”

  “Why wouldn’t I? It’s why I’m here. I need to find him.” She stared up at the sky using her hand as a shield from the sun.

  “Why were you separated? Did you go with your parents? Or did he? Or one with each parent?” I tried to be gentle with my words, but I wasn’t entirely sure if I was successful as a look of pain crossed her face. “Sorry. I’m really sorry. I didn’t mean to—” Great. I was absolutely horrible at this.

  “No. It’s okay. It’s just really hard to explain.”

  “Try me.” I stopped next to one of the huge oak trees that dotted the park.

  Angie sent me a quizzical look as she walked past with Dale. I merely shrugged. If Rachel wanted to tell me her secrets, that didn’t mean she had to tell my sister and roommate.

  Rachel waited a few moments until they were out of earshot. “You won’t believe me.”

  “How would you know until you try?” I shifted my weight from foot to foot.

  “Because I know.”

  I started walking again. Slowly. “I don’t know how to help you unless you give me more information.”

  “I gave you his name.” She was still looking around her like she didn’t want to miss a single detail.

  “You think there’s only one Benjamin Miller out there?”

  She shook her head. “No. I guess you’re right. I wasn’t thinking.”

  “Can’t you tell me anything?” I didn’t want to beg, but I wasn’t sure what I was going to do if she didn’t open up to me.

  “Yes.” She nodded. “I can.”

  “Okay. Good.” I waited eagerly.

  “I wasn’t born in New Orleans. My parents sent us to live with my aunt. It had something to do with a war.”

  “Okay.” Maybe she was a refugee of some sort? That would fit into the whole trauma argument Angie made.

  “When you left New Orleans, did you go back to your parents? Did your brother stay here with your aunt?” I tried to carefully pick my words.

  “No. I left with someone else…” She trailed off. “I was adopted.”

  “Oh.” Okay. That was something. “But not your brother?”

  “He could only take one.”

  “Oh. That’s tough.” So she was back here with some sort of guilt. At least that’s what I assumed it was. Maybe things with her aunt were rough, but she got adopted by a family with more resources? Or she felt bad leaving him to begin with? But how much choice could she have had at age five? “I can’t relate exactly, but I know what’s it like to say goodbye to a sibling. My brother died.”

  “That’s horrible.” She wrapped her hand around mine. Her hand was warm and strong. “I am so sorry, Noah.”

  I forced a smile. “It’s all right. Just part of life I guess.”

  I waited for her to ask more. To push me on why he died like everyone else I’d ever told. She didn’t. “If you don’t want to help me, you don’t have to.”

  “I told you I would.”

  “I know, but I’m out of your house now. This would be an easier time to brush me off. You could leave me here at the park and go on with your life.”

  “But I don’t want to.” I didn’t. I barely knew this girl, yet I did k
now that saying goodbye sounded less than appealing. I wanted to get to know her better, to unravel the mystery that was this gorgeous brunette with the crazy backstory.

  “Good.” She smiled. “But, Noah?”

  “Yes?”

  “Do you think your sister and friend want to help? I don’t want them to feel pressured at all…”

  “Angie’s protective. After my brother… well, after he died she became even more so. She’s not ditching me. And Dale gets bored easily. He’ll stick around for this as long as it holds his attention.” My hand was still tucked inside of hers. It felt far too natural.

  “Where do you suggest we start?” She looked at our joined hands and pulled hers away. “To find Benjamin.”

  “Angie’s going to be the best one to help with that,” I explained. “She’s really good at anything involving research.”

  “Okay. Should we catch up with her then?”

  “Sure.” I agreed even though I wasn’t really ready to share her with the others again.

  “The sky is so blue.” She looked up again. Her eyes wide as she scanned the sky.

  “It’s a nice day today. A little cool, but not too bad.”

  “Is it always this blue here?” She turned all around with her head tilted up.

  “No. It rains a lot. Sometimes with absolutely no warning.”

  “Oh.” She pulled her eyes from the sky and set them on me.

  “I usually carry an umbrella with me in case that happens. I’m not today though. Just to warn you.”

  “I don’t mind getting wet. Rain can’t hurt you.” She said it like she was asking a question.

  “Not usually. No. But it isn’t great to walk around in wet jeans and socks. I can tell you that from experience. Especially when you then are stuck in a boring lecture for two hours in said wet jeans and socks.”

  She laughed. “Okay. I don’t want to experience that. But sometimes the rain can be nice, right?”

  “Yes. Sometimes.” I had the distinct impression getting stuck in the rain with Rachel might be really nice. But not that day. Not when there was still so much more to figure out.

  “Do they still make those frozen treats?” She abruptly changed the subject.