Recklessly Ever After

by Heather Van Fleet

  My eyes grew heavy, but my hold on her never faltered. I had a feeling I’d be fighting to hang on to her for as long as I could. The thought of her not in my lap, by my side, in my life, was torture. Especially now that I knew she and I had similar backgrounds.

  Her breath was warm on my neck, while her wet eyelashes batted against my skin, letting me know she was awake. I wanted to talk to her again, tell her that this thing we had wasn’t going to end. But then she moved just right, and her hips rubbed against me in that agonizing way my cock craved, and all other thoughts fled my mind.

  I wanted her, here and now. I wanted to make love to this woman. Show her the right way it was done. Not just in the heat of the moment, not after a night of drinking either. I wanted to show her how right we were together. Emotionally and physically.

  I started to kiss her temple, her cheek after that, and soon her sleepy body awakened. I pressed my lips to her neck, down her throat, going to the other side to repeat the same process all over again.

  “Gavin, what are you doing?” Her fingers tightened in my hair, but her hips moved against me.

  “Kissing you.” I smiled against her skin, inhaling the scent of her body.

  “D-do you think that’s a good idea?”

  Slowly pulling back, I met her stare, my hands on her thighs and running up and under her soft dress. “I think it’s a damn good idea, actually. But if you don’t want to—”

  Her lips crashed into mine, ten fingers going painfully tight against my scalp. I welcomed the sensation, answering her pace by pushing my hands further beneath her dress. With a groan, I squeezed her ass, rocking her pussy up and over my jeans.

  “Gotta see you.” I started tugging her dress up, but she froze, gripping my wrists, holding me in place.

  “Wait,” she whispered. “Let me.” She reached down and slipped the dress up and over her head on her own, shaking out her hair when she finished.

  “Jesus, Kenna.” Met with the cream, see-through lace of her bra, I took in the pale skin of her curves and the peachy-pink nipples that called to my mouth. “You’re perfect.”

  She grinned and kissed me again, this time tugging at my clothes until I was shirtless and her nearly naked flesh was flush against mine. Needing to touch her all over, I reached back and quickly unsnapped her bra, never breaking away from her mouth as I tugged the straps down her shoulders and exposed her gorgeous breasts.

  She hissed as though in pain, and I leaned back, looking at their fullness, her pert pink nipples, worried I’d done something wrong. “Did I hurt you?”

  She shook her head slowly, a soft smile on her mouth that hinted at shyness I wasn’t used to seeing on her face. “They’re…sensitive.” She tugged her bottom lip between her teeth and looked away, went distant on me again.

  “Don’t look away.” Fearing I was losing her, I cupped her cheeks, urging her gaze back on me, only for her eyes to stay closed. “McKenna, open your eyes, please…” My throat burned as I swallowed and waited. Eventually, she did as I asked, looking at me with the full power of her baby blues. But the tears I saw there had me fearing the worst.

  “What is it?”

  She licked her lips and shook her head. “Nothing. I’m just sensitive, is all. I’ll be okay.” She leaned forward to try to kiss me again, but I wasn’t having it.

  “Talk to me.”

  She opened her mouth, then shut it once more. Just when I was thinking she was going to flip a switch on me, become another version of herself, she said the last two words I’d ever expected to hear.

  “I’m pregnant.”

  Chapter 17

  Gavin

  “Pregnant.” I frowned, unable to comprehend what that word met.

  As in, pregnant with another man’s child? Or…

  “It’s not…” I put a hand on my chest, patting once.

  She nodded slowly, looking down at her own hands settled between our stomachs. “It’s yours. I haven’t been with another man since that night.”

  That night, six weeks ago. That night I decided I wanted something for the first time, something that might hurt me in the end. The first time I made a decision that wasn’t careful and calculated.

  “No…” I shook my head, refusing to believe it. “I used a condom that night.”

  “The condom didn’t work, Gavin.” Her lips began to tremble. She was either fighting her tears or fighting a laugh.

  Jesus Christ. McKenna was… “Gonna be the mother of my child?”

  She stiffened, eyes welling with tears.

  I hadn’t meant to say the words out loud. Hell, I should have been shoving her away, fighting this with all I had, because I wasn’t father material, damn it. I couldn’t even take care of Chloe when she was a baby, for fuck’s sake. I was a useless son of a bitch when it came to children, yet somehow I was going to be a dad. Me.

  “That’d be me.” She pulled her leg from over my lap, reaching for her dress on the floor.

  For a split second, I almost let her go, thinking maybe I needed more time to think this through. Plan what to do next and figure shit out.

  Yet the thought of doing so was like a razor to the throat—and the last thing I wanted.

  Not thinking twice, I wrapped my arms around her waist and pulled her closer. “No.”

  She met my stare and whispered, “No?”

  I shook my head, then I kissed her, harder this time. I expected her to fight me. Push me away and run, but her body instantly relaxed against mine, and we were right back where we’d been. Only this time, things moved faster.

  “Need you,” I all but begged. “So much.”

  Slowly, I pulled back remembering her comment about her breasts. It made sense now why she’d said they were sensitive, but that didn’t stop me from wanting them in my mouth. Wanting to taste them. So, I lowered my head, taking my time as I held one of them in my hand. Then with the gentlest of licks, I sucked one of her nipples in between my lips, gentle laps of my tongue across the tips. She shivered so hard goose bumps danced across her skin and a soft gasp of pleasure escaped her mouth. I teased and toyed, using my lips to kiss the peak, my tongue to taste the edges. I gave her gentle, because she deserved it.

  “That feels so good,” she moaned, encouraging me to pull a little harder, not too hard, but enough to drag out the low noise in her throat.

  Slow, steady kisses led me to the other breast, and I used my finger to trail around the same wet tip I’d just teased. Her hips worked harder over my jeans, and I could feel the change in her body with every touch of my tongue, every lick, every kiss.

  This was the stuff of movies, the way I held her close. I didn’t know it could be this way, feel this good, and we hadn’t even gotten to the good stuff yet. Whether that had to do with her being pregnant with my baby, or the simple thought of her not running away, I didn’t know. What I did know was that I was falling hard for the first time in my life, and it didn’t scare me like I’d thought it would.

  That thought spurred me into action, and soon I had her flat on her back on the couch. Big, blue eyes blinked up at me, lips parted, breaths panting, cheeks flushed. “You’re so beautiful,” I murmured, having no idea where to start when it came to her body—to her. More than anything, I wanted to take my time, savor the moment, but I couldn’t wait either.

  Decision made, I stood and pulled my jeans and boxers off. My cock sprang free, ready, and those eyes of hers shimmered with heat as she took me in from head to toe, back up and down again.

  “I want you, McKenna. All of you. No running. No more fighting this thing between us. Just…” I sighed, dropping to my knees next to her, desperate and pleading like a man on the edge of death begging for one more minute of life. “Just…tell me you want this too.” I gripped the edges of her panties, the lace and silk doing little to steady my shaking hands. I was ready to pull them down
, give her everything she’d ever desired. But I needed her consent, that one word. Her yes.

  And then it happened.

  One smile.

  One nod.

  Three words I never expected.

  “Yes. I’m yours.”

  The tightening in my chest released, and I smiled too. I smiled so fucking wide that it hurt. But I didn’t care. Because McKenna actually wanted to be with me.

  With me.

  That was the best fucking moment of my life so far.

  I lowered my mouth to her pussy, not wasting another second. With my tongue, I lapped at her wetness before clamping my lips down and sucking. She cried out my name and bucked her hips, but I settled her, held her knees in place with the flat of my palms.

  I flicked her once more with my tongue and added a finger.

  “Gavin, yes…” Her hands were in my hair, pulling at the scalp once more. The feeling was unlike any other. A pain that led to pleasure. Hers and mine. Ours.

  I reached down with my other hand to stroke myself, needing to ease the ache. More than anything, I wanted her to come against my lips and tongue again, but I also wanted her to come while I was buried deep inside her.

  Soon, she solved my dilemma, urging me up the length of her body with her hands. I moved until my cock was centered between her thighs, ready to find its home.

  “I need more,” she moaned.

  “What about a condom?”

  She grinned, the look playful, happy. “That’s kind of a moot point now, don’t you think?”

  I cringed. “Shit.” I hadn’t forgotten what she’d just told me. Fuck no, how could I? I’d asked because I was nervous. Hadn’t had sober sex in a long-ass time.

  “I’m clean, just so you know.” Her face went pink, embarrassment shadowing her blues as she spoke.

  I cupped her face, urging her to look at me, one arm propped along the couch so I wouldn’t squish her. “Me too. I make it a habit to get checked since I work as an EMT.”

  “Okay.”

  “So…” It was my turn to be unsure, my face going hot, my stomach tight. Just when I thought I had myself under control, one little emotional setback had me questioning my sanity. But then she whispered a few game-changing words.

  And I was done for.

  “Make love to me, Gavin?”

  That word: love.

  I knew she didn’t mean it the way I secretly might have been thinking. It was too soon, even though the thought of it building toward love made me want to jump for fucking joy. Still, I managed to keep my cool… That is, until I met her stare.

  The sincerity in her gorgeous gaze immediately caught me off guard. I swallowed so hard I swear my throat shriveled to nothing. But it was her hand on my face that led me to where I needed to be. With her and only her.

  Slowly and steadily, I lowered my mouth, letting her taste herself on my lips. Then I slipped my cock inside her, only to be pushed in deeper when her legs wrapped around my waist.

  “Ah, Kenna. You don’t know what you do to me.” The erratic beat inside my chest proved how wild she made me feel. How reckless I was when it came to my heart meshing with hers.

  “I do know.” She kissed me on the chin, the cheek, finishing by my ear. “Because you make me feel the same way.”

  Eyes squeezed shut in pleasure, and with one foot balanced on the floor, I pushed inside her completely, sweat already dripping down between my shoulder blades.

  “Gavin.” She whispered my name with so much reverence that I had to look at her again to make sure it was real. And when I saw that fire in her eyes, I let myself go. Completely.

  She cried out my name and clawed at my back, the pain so perfect I wanted to roar. Our stares never wavered as I pushed in deeper, then pulled back, the love I didn’t know how to give coming forward in my movements. Over and over, I thrust my hips against hers, our skin slapping in the room like lightning, our bodies melting against each other as if this was where we were always meant to be. Glued together, her and me. A perfect, raging storm.

  She moaned, rolling her hips, crying out in pleasure. I reached down, gripping her thigh, moving my body higher, groaning. And soon she was screaming my name once more.

  Seconds later, I cried out too, saying the only words I had on my tongue as I filled her body with my own release.

  “Forever. Need you…forever.”

  Chapter 18

  McKenna

  Sated and satisfied, I lay on his couch, arms wrapped around his waist as I contemplated his words.

  Forever. Was that possible with this man? Was I capable of it too? I wanted to be. More than anything else in my life, I wanted that chance with him.

  Hot breath covered my neck like a blanket, and I found my fingers stroking his spine of their own accord.

  “That should’ve been our first time,” he finally said, pulling back to kiss me softly on the lips. Afterward, he trailed his nose up and down my cheek in a move that went beyond sexy, running straight toward intimate.

  “But it wasn’t.” I rolled out from under him and onto my side, facing him, contentment so warm in my chest that I almost believed it wasn’t real.

  Until he smiled at me. Lips wet and pink from mine.

  “You know what they say though.” He winked.

  “What’s that?” I reached forward, tracing a drop of sweat that ran between his pecs. He had the most incredible body: sculpted and handcrafted by the gods, it would seem.

  “First the worst, second the best.” He smiled so widely that I couldn’t help but kiss his lips again.

  Out of my element, but no longer able to stop myself, I pulled back and reached up to stroke his cheek with the back of my knuckles. Beneath my fingers, his beard tickled my skin, and I swear my heart burst inside my chest when he nuzzled against my hand.

  Part of me should have been disgusted that we were still lying there, his release trickling down my thigh, our bodies covered with the stench of sweat and sex. But instead, I was lost in a world of postorgasmic bliss, something I rarely let myself experience.

  “We need to talk though.” He pressed his finger along my naked hip, stroking a circle around the bone. This was the part where I should have gotten up and run. Yet now all I wanted was to fall asleep in his arms.

  I yawned, as if on cue. “I know.”

  “You’re pregnant with my baby.”

  I nodded, squirming at the low rumble of his words. The familiar tug of fear I’d been living with for a week started to burn my chest, and I pulled my hand away from his face to cover my heart, willing the pain away. “I am.”

  “That’s a pretty big deal, don’t you think?” He frowned.

  Shrugging, I looked down at his chest, trying to keep my body from stiffening. I told him I’d try, that I’d give us a chance. And I wanted that. Truly. But I wasn’t sure how. And now that the intimacy had passed and the postorgasmic bliss was waning, reality was pushing me into flight mode again.

  Forever, he’d said. Need you forever.

  God, what had I done?

  Sex more than once with a man?

  And my feelings? I felt them inside like unwanted gifts on holidays. Gifts I wouldn’t dare give back but wasn’t sure I wanted to keep. Yet things were different now. And though the idea of pursuing a relationship with this man scared me, I knew I couldn’t walk. Not anymore. Because no matter what happened, Gavin was now a permanent fixture in my life.

  “It is a big deal,” I finally said as I sat up. When I reached for my dress on the floor, he didn’t stop me. Instead, he sat up too, grabbing his shirt and pulling up his boxers and jeans.

  My nipples ached from his lips and mouth, and the thought of putting my bra back on was not appealing in the least. Instead, I settled my dress over my body, sans coverage, thankful it was dark enough outside that nobody would see w
hat I had stashed beneath.

  I cleared my throat, stuffing my bra into my purse. “Which is why I think adoption is probably the best road. That way we don’t have to worry and all.”

  Gavin grew quiet, his body dangerously still.

  “Adoption,” he finally said, lowering his chin to his chest.

  I touched his shoulder, my skin now ice cold. “Gavin?”

  He nodded once, then stood, looking everywhere but my face. “Sounds to me like you’ve got this all figured out.” His voice was soft. Not mean in the least. But hearing him say that was like a punch to the chest. A kick in the gut. Why was he giving up so easily? And why did I care, when this was supposed to be what I wanted?

  “Well, no. Not exactly. I mean, I know this is your baby too, but—”

  “But it’s your body, McKenna.” He sighed, running a hand through his shaggy hair. “In the end, you should get to decide what you want, not me.”

  “But you’re the father.” I frowned, not understanding where this was coming from. Why I was arguing, when I knew adoption was for the best.

  “I am.” He rubbed the back of his neck, clearly uncomfortable, though when we’d made love just minutes before, he’d looked like the happiest man alive. “But, like I said, this should be your decision.”

  I licked my lips as I gathered words. “Gavin, I-I really like you, okay? I’m just not sure if a baby is right for me. But if for some reason, you wanted to keep it…”

  His gaze flickered to mine, a light shining back on inside. Right then and there, I knew the truth. Gavin did want this baby. But he wanted me more.

  I loved kids. Truly. That wasn’t the problem. I just didn’t have it in me to mother one. Had never really had a desire to either. I was never taught compassion growing up, and I was always making terrible, rash decisions. Having a baby meant making responsible choices for a tiny human who would rely on me for everything.