“Bite?” she asked, offering me some from her fingers.
I shook my head and chuckled to myself. “Your daddy’s gonna kill me.”
But she’d stopped crying. And fuck, that’s all that mattered to me.
Footsteps sounded from behind. I looked over my shoulder, finding Max. He rubbed his eyes, then let his arms fall to his sides.
“Jesus, what’s wrong?” He glared at me, face going soft when he stared at Beaner.
“She fell. Scraped her knee.” I shrugged, praying he wouldn’t look in the carton. No doubt he’d be on my ass like Collin would about feeding her caffeinated ice cream that was at least a couple months old.
He glanced at his cell phone and frowned, obviously distracted. “Shit. Lee-Lee called when I was sleeping.”
“She called me too,” Collin grumbled as he walked into the kitchen. He slapped a couple of bags on the counter, then reached for Chloe. Luckily, I’d wiped her off, hiding the evidence back in the freezer. He frowned at her leg. “What happened?”
I opened my mouth to say what happened, only for Chloe to say, “Boo-boo.”
Collin leaned over and kissed the mark, something I hadn’t even thought of. “All better, baby girl.”
Her pretty face began to glow, and I wanted to smack myself in the head for forgetting the kiss thing. That’d been the key all along, damn it.
Max leaned against the fridge, watching Beaner but talking to us. “I’m leaving Saturday night. After the game, I’m gonna take some time off. Go stay with her.”
I frowned. “With Lia?”
“Yeah.”
“What about your job?” Collin asked, folding his arms.
“I can’t fucking take it. I’ll go there, stay during the week, then drive home on the weekends for my gigs I’ve got set up.” Max had opened his own catering business, earning a lot of customer interest. Cooking was basically his life now. Other than Lia.
Max walked toward Chloe and poked her stomach. She giggled and leaned forward into her dad’s arms, curls falling over her cheeks.
“For how long?” I propped my elbows against the counter, studying his dark face. He looked like shit. I could relate.
“Does it matter?” He looked back and forth between Collin and me, red eyes narrowing. “I can’t stand the thought of being apart when all I want is to be with her.”
It made sense now—the power of his emotions, the meaning behind them. It’s something I hadn’t understood until McKenna came along. If you wanted someone, you needed to be with them. Still, I’d miss the hell out of this guy.
“Besides, me going with her, staying there, would be the perfect time for us to get to know each other better.”
“You already know each other.” I tapped my fingers along my arm.
Max rubbed the back of his neck. “Not in all the ways I’d like to.”
“Ah, hell. I’m done.” Collin rammed into Max as he walked out of the room, but called over his shoulder once more to say, “Just don’t make me an uncle yet. Already gotta deal with Gavin bringing a kid into this world. I only have enough guidance for one right now.”
I followed Collin, watching as he set Chloe on the floor. “I don’t need guidance. I can handle myself.”
“Yeah?” Collin laughed as he turned to face me. “Then why are you here and not with Kenna?”
“Because she doesn’t want me.” Anger had my hands balling into fists. “Plus, I’m not a huge asshole like you who can’t take no for an answer.”
Collin shrugged, not denying it.
Max, on the other hand, sat on the chair, kicking his feet out, relaxed now that the conversation was directed at me again. “And you believe that?” he asked.
“Believe what?”
He frowned. “That she doesn’t want you.”
“I do. She’s been pushing me away for weeks.” It hurt, admitting it out loud. And though she told me at my river house that she liked me, that obviously wasn’t enough to try to explore things further between us before the baby arrived.
Chloe moved to the couch and started jumping on the cushions, giggling loudly. I moved to grab her. The last thing I wanted was another broken arm. She pushed me away and did it again. I gave up after three times and wound up sitting on the couch next to her, my arm out to keep her from falling onto the floor.
“You’d be a good dad.” Collin pointed at my arm, then Chloe, then me.
“Yeah, but she doesn’t want to be a mom.”
Max cleared his throat and leaned forward onto his knees. “My mom didn’t want to be a mom at eighteen. Almost gave me up for adoption. Ended up changing her mind and told me constantly I was the best mistake she’d ever made.”
My lips pursed. Chloe jumped onto her butt and started bouncing that way. “That doesn’t mean Kenna would do the same. She didn’t even want kids.” I knew why that was: her issues with her family and her fear of turning into her parents. But her parents didn’t define her. Nobody did but her.
Chloe flapped her arms, squealing at the top of her lungs. She jumped off the couch and started to run around the coffee table. “La, la, la, la,” she sang on a loop. It put the hugest fucking smile on my face, even with the conversation looming around us.
I stood to keep an eye on her—make sure she didn’t run into the corners of the table. Yeah, I’d put that edging stuff on when she’d first started to walk, but that didn’t mean she might not fall now. It’s why I’d told Collin and Max to leave it on.
“Avvy,” she screeched, the chase all a game. Damn, this kid was quick.
I picked up speed, chasing her into the dining room. She ran under the table and landed on her back, kicking her feet in the air until she started lashing out at the legs of the chairs next.
Ignoring his daughter’s behavior, Collin kept talking over her screeches. “You want this baby, right?”
Sweat ran down between my shoulders as I reached for Chloe. She jerked back and giggled louder.
“Yeah, I do. I want it a lot.”
As scary as it was to admit, I knew there wasn’t another answer. I may not be the best candidate for the job, but I’d love that child to death. And after what I’d been through, I didn’t take that emotion lightly. Especially when it came to something that was going to be my flesh and blood.
No doubt McKenna would be the same way if she let herself. Maybe she just needed me to prove that to her. It wasn’t like I had much to lose by trying—she’d walk away in the end anyway. No matter what she decided for herself, though, I knew this baby would be with me.
“Then there you go.” Max stood up and fumbled his way into the dining room, pulling back the chairs. Beaner squealed louder but didn’t go to Max when he reached for her.
“Then tell her the truth. Tell her how you feel. Go from there. One big take it or leave it gesture,” Collin finished.
My answer was a grunt as I struggled to grab Chloe’s ankle, a thought racing through my head at the same time.
I had a messed-up mind, but did that mean I wouldn’t know how to raise a baby? Or even love it? No. If anything, it meant I’d probably try harder at everything, just to make sure I didn’t screw it all up. Would it be hard? Fuck yeah, no doubt in my mind. But with the support system I had around me with my friends, I knew this was one choice I wouldn’t hide from.
“Beaner, what is your issue?” Collin groaned, just missing her as she darted to the corner under a bench by the wall.
“It’s like she’s hyped up on something.” Max snorted. “Kind of wish I was there with her.” He cringed, rubbing at his temples.
I froze when I finally realized what was wrong with her. “Fuck.”
“Fuck!” Chloe repeated, pointing at me.
I looked at Collin, who glared at me, a knowing look in his squinted eyes.
Goddamn ice cream.
McKenna
The weather was crazy warm for early June. Ninety degrees, with humidity levels through the roof. I wore a pair of shorts and a tank that flowed over my swelling abdomen, but even that was doing little to help me stay cool. I might have been only ten or so weeks along, but my stomach was already showing a tiny bulge beneath the baggy clothes I wore.
Sitting next to me on the sidelines of the grassy rugby pitch was my sister—knees pulled to her chest and a look of awe on her face. I smiled at her when she glanced my way. She smiled back. Hanna looked better today than she had all week, and I wanted to say it was our shopping trip that had done her good, but I knew better. She was seeing the world outside our mother’s lair—and away from the dangers of her ex-boyfriend—for the first time in months. Maybe even longer than that.
It was kind of miraculous, the strides she’d made since she’d arrived.
I wished I could say the same about myself.
I blinked and focused on my best friend. Addie sat to my right, her hands over her mouth as she hollered at the guys on the field—more at Collin than anyone else.
Despite her cheery voice, her brown eyes had dark circles beneath them. I could tell the week had taken its toll on her. The loss of her mother, completely breaking ties with her father for good… She did at least seem to be able to breathe a little easier. I attributed that to the fact that she’d been able to make peace with her mom before she passed. Knowing that eased my guilt over not being there for her the way I should have been the past few weeks. Plus, she had her fiancé now, and I’m pretty sure he’d been taking better care of her than I ever could.
“Get ’em, baby!” she screamed, clapping fast as Collin ran down the field and touched the ball to the ground. His hands shot up in the air, and he ran around the goalpost, scoring the first try of the match. According to Addie, there were two more matches to go, but I could barely sit through one. This sport bored me to tears…though the scenery—the male thighs, more so—was definitely nice.
“This is kind of intense.” Hanna’s brown eyes were bright as she watched the guys run. “You were right about the players though.” She giggled, then nudged my shoulder with her own. It was the first time I’d glimpsed the girl I remembered since she’d arrived.
I reached down and squeezed her fingers. “I’m glad you decided to come.”
She looked down at our interlocked hands and grinned. “Me too.”
“Are you ladies up for going out tonight? Collin’s parents are watching Chloe, so he and I are free to do whatever.” Addie tucked her arm through mine and snuggled close, smelling like sunscreen.
I started to shake my head no, but Hanna jumped in, surprising me. “Go where?”
“The after-party. Since it’s a home game and we’re hosting the tournament, we’ll head to O’Paddy’s after it’s all said and done here.”
“O’Paddy’s is the team’s bar,” I clarified. “But we don’t have to go. I’m fine with just hanging out with you at home.”
Hanna smiled shyly, and one of her dimples appeared. “I’ll be okay if you want to go out tonight, Kens.”
“You should come too,” Addie jumped in.
My sister shook her head. “No thanks. I don’t really do bars.”
“Oh. Well, we can do something just us ladies.” Addie brushed her long hair away from her face and scrunched up her nose. “We don’t need to hang out with the guys to have fun.”
I looked at my sister, secretly praying she’d say yes. I needed her to stay with me, but I’d missed spending time with Addie.
“Where would we go?” Hanna twisted the string around the waist of her dress with a finger.
“Hmm, let’s see.” Addie paused. “We can have dinner and then go to the drive-in, watch a late movie and whatnot.”
Addie’s eagerness was infectious, and I couldn’t help but grin.
“That sounds fun.” Hanna nodded.
I pumped my fist at her acceptance. “Yay! I want you two to get to know each other better.” I pulled them both close to my neck, hugging tightly. “My two favorite girls with me. What more could a woman ask for?” Besides daily orgasms and a non-pregnant belly, that is.
Addie laughed and pressed her palm to my stomach over my loose-fitting tee. “Well, since I’m totally going to need a drinking partner now that Kenna here got herself knocked up, I am happy to have us together too.”
The air around me shifted, my breath catching in my throat at the same time.
Hanna was the first to pull away from our group hug, yet I caught her stare as it narrowed quickly down at Addie’s hand. “Yeah, definitely.”
I shut my eyes.
Crap. More than anything, I’d wanted to tell her. But with everything that had been happening over the last month, I couldn’t find a good time to bring it up. Not to mention I wasn’t exactly thrilled with the possibility of her running to my mom and spilling the beans. I was supposed to be the older sister with her head in the game, her life in gear, her world pieced together, not the unmarried, preggo sister.
A role model, I was not—according to my mother, at least.
Oblivious to the sudden tension, Addie continued, “Do you want to swing by the house and pick me up around seven?”
My throat went dry as I tried to speak, so I nodded instead, pulling my arms out from around Addie’s neck. She kissed my temple and stood, the excitement over a night out evident in her appearance as she marched toward Collin, who stood alongside the pitch.
A good two minutes passed as I waited for Hanna to speak. And when she did, the girl did not disappoint with her question.
“You’re pregnant?”
I cringed, my gaze zooming across the field, instantly landing on Gavin’s back from across the pitch. He was bent over, tying his shoes, but I couldn’t even take the time to appreciate the curve of his ass in those tiny, black shorts.
“Yes.” No point in lying now. “Can you just…not tell Mom, please?”
“I would never,” she whispered so softly, so quickly, that I barely heard the words.
Frowning, I faced her, trying to get a good read on her emotions. But like always, she was blank and empty—a million miles away from the world.
“Are you going to keep it?” she eventually asked.
I shrugged, hating how complicated this all was. “That’s the million-dollar question at the moment.”
She frowned. “Oh.”
“I’m really not motherly material.” I laughed, though nothing about what I’d said was funny. Being a mother meant sacrifice, love, discipline—three things I wasn’t the best at.
“What do you mean by that?” Confusion laced her question.
“Meaning, I wasn’t given the best parental role models growing up, so as a mother, I would be nothing short of disastrous. I’ve never even changed a diaper, for God’s sake.” But you’ve assisted someone in changing a diaper. I scowled at my internal voice, willing it to shut up. Now wasn’t a good time.
Hanna laid her head on my shoulder, surprising me. In turn, I lowered my head on top of hers and blinked away my tears, unsure why I was getting emotional in the first place.
“You’d be a wonderful mother. You take care of me.”
I smiled at her compliment, regardless of the fact that I knew she was wrong. “Thanks for the vote of confidence.”
She didn’t speak again for a while. I’m not sure what she was thinking, but I knew what I was. Would I be brave enough to just walk away in the end? Hand over this life I helped create to a man who was nothing short of amazing just because I was scared of screwing it up?
“Who’s the father?”
I frowned, wondering if my sister had turned into a mind reader. “You don’t know him.”
“I don’t know anything about you either.” She stood abruptly
and brushed her hand down the front of her dress, her mood shifting. Before I could apologize, a commotion exploded from the field ahead.
Standing to see what was going on, I swallowed hard, torn as my gaze flitted from the guys circling someone on the grass to my sister. “Hanna, I’m sorry I didn’t—”
“It’s fine.” She gave me a tight-lipped smile, nothing about it real. “I won’t tell Mom, and as long as you’re happy, I’m happy too.”
But she wasn’t happy. Her eyes were glassy, as if she was on the verge of crying. It hurt my heart terribly, but I didn’t have a clue what to say to her.
With a weary heart, I watched as she made her way to the brick bathrooms. I had every intention of going after her, but a familiar figure caught my eye from the sidelines. More so three figures, with Addie not far behind. Gavin was on one side of Max, while Collin stood on the other. They had him supported by the legs and waist, carrying him to Collin’s truck.
“Damn it,” I mumbled under my breath, dying to find out what was happening, but knowing Hanna would get flustered if I left. So, I waited from a distance, lip pulled between my teeth from nerves as they placed Max in the passenger seat of Collin’s truck.
Words were spoken between the three men. Gavin looked on edge and grumpy, as if he was seconds from kicking someone’s ass. The sight had goose bumps forming on my arms.
Once Max was settled inside, Gavin jogged toward his Suburban but stopped short of getting inside. I held my breath—waiting, wondering, worried—as he dropped his forehead against the window. The urge to comfort him was incredibly strong, my fingers trembling in turn. A hand on his spine is all I would need to do. Gavin wasn’t one for pity, but he thrived on simple touches.
Yet, we hadn’t spoken in almost three weeks.
Regardless, I found my feet moving seconds later, as though I was no longer in control of my body. No force, strong or not, could keep me away when he might need me.
Before I could make my way over completely though, he jerked his head back and turned my way, as though sensing me there.
I froze, waiting for him to see me, even more terrified of what his reaction might be.
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