P.S. I Hate You

by Winter Renshaw

  Her mouth presses against the underside of my jaw, peppering hot kisses into my flesh as she trails down my right shoulder, her nails digging into my skin. Maritza’s hips rock against mine, grinding on my cock, tempering the ache.

  Taking the flimsy hem of her tank top between my fingers, I lift her top over her head before cupping two of the most perfect tits I’ve ever seen in my life. I twist a single pink bud between my thumb and forefinger before lowering my mouth and giving it a taste.

  Maritza tosses her head back, slow and intentional as she offers her body to me. When she sits up and our eyes meet, she reaches for my shirt, tearing it off before running her palms down my chest and abs, her fingers tracing the grooves and ridges of each muscle.

  “You’re so … hard,” she says, bending forward and tracing the tattoo above my heart with a single finger. “What does it mean?”

  “Nothing,” I say, sliding a finger beneath the waistband of her shorts. “It means absolutely nothing.”

  Tugging them down her thighs and letting the scent of her arousal fill my lungs, I switch places with her, letting her lie down as I grab a rubber from my wallet and unzip my pants.

  “Holy shit,” she says when she sees what I’m working with.

  I smirk, proud. The reaction never gets old no matter how many times I see it.

  Sitting up, she takes my cock in her hand, pumping the length as she struggles to wrap her soft palm all the way around it. Bringing her mouth to the tip, she swallows as much as she can fit, her tongue circling the tip before swirling just beneath the head.

  Maritza takes her time. She doesn’t rush like some girls do.

  She enjoys it, moaning and pausing every so often to glance up at me, coyly wipe the side of her mouth, and let me take in the view as she swallows my pre-cum and goes back for more.

  Gathering her silky hair in my fist, I guide my cock deeper into her mouth until I feel a tight swell that takes everything in my power to ignore.

  “Your turn,” I say, lowering myself between her thighs as she spreads her legs, hooking them over my shoulders.

  Dragging a finger along the seam of her wet pussy, I tease her clit and her tight, sweet hole before letting my tongue take over. Circling her swollen clit and devouring her sweetness, my cock throbs each time she moans and sighs and wriggles against me.

  When she’s had enough, she reaches for me, pulling me over top of her and kissing her taste off my lips.

  Grabbing the gold foil packet on the sofa cushion beside us, I sheathe my cock before slipping my fingers between her silken folds and massaging her clit.

  “On your knees,” I tell her, guiding her before positioning myself behind her perfect apricot ass.

  Dragging the tip of my cock along her slick seam, I tease her before impaling her with one hard push. She gasps and I wrap my arms around her, pulling her body against mine as my hips thrust harder, faster, finding the perfect rhythm.

  Cupping her breasts and filling her to the hilt, I squeeze my eyes and lose myself in the moment, appreciating the way her body molds to mine and relents to my every wordless command. It’s like we’re finally speaking the same language, even if that language consists of breathless gasps and whispered compliments in the form of sacrilegious profanities.

  “Don’t stop,” she pleads, her arms reaching behind her and cupping fistfuls of my hair.

  Brushing her dark hair aside, I kiss the side of her neck. “I won’t.”

  I can go all fucking night long.

  My phone vibrates, pulling me out of my sex-induced coma. Maritza’s naked body rests on top of mine and the living room is still dark, though the slightest hint of pre-dawn peeks through the blinds.

  Moving her gently to the side, I slide out from under her and cover her up with the blanket we shared the past several hours. Stepping into my jeans, I tug on the zipper while scanning the room for my shirt.

  “What time is it?” Maritza’s groggy voice cuts through the silence. “Why are you up right now?”

  “I have to go,” I say. I place an apologetic tone in my voice, but it’s genuine. Sex with Maritza was good last night. Really fucking good. So good that I’d be willing to break my one-and-done rule and go for round two, but Mom needs her morning meds and her coffee, and if I stay too long Maritza might offer to cook me breakfast and I don’t want to do that whole awkward, morning-after-sex routine. I’ve done enough of those to last me a lifetime.

  “You’re deploying next week, right?” She sits up, brushing her dark hair out of her pretty face.

  “Yep.”

  “What are you doing until then?” she asks.

  I locate my t-shirt hanging off the back of an armchair and tug it over my head, trying to buy time so I can think of the best way to imply that this is the end of the road for us.

  “We should hang out.” She sits up, leaning over to click on a lamp, illuminating the living room with gentle light before lifting her palm. “And before you go jumping to conclusions, I don’t mean we should hang out like that. Or because of what we did last night. I just mean … I had fun with you. And you should have fun before you leave. We could do, like … I don’t know … a week of Saturdays or something.”

  “A week of Saturdays?”

  “Yeah. A week where we treat every day like it’s a Saturday and we pal around the city and do fun, stupid stuff,” she says. “Not dates. Nothing romantic. Just a couple of … dare I say … friends.”

  I smirk, adjusting my shirt into place. “I don’t know.”

  It’s hard enough to be friends with a woman and harder still to be friends with a woman once you’ve fucked her.

  Maritza stands, wrapping the blanket around her naked body, and ambles toward me. “I don’t want to date you, Isaiah, if that’s what you’re afraid of. You’re not my type for one and for two, I really, really like being single.”

  I slip my phone and keys into my pockets and eye the door.

  “What do you say?” she asks. “One week. No romance. No lies or bullshit or games. Just a couple of people hanging out and having fun.”

  I’ll admit she’s dynamite in bed and maybe “hanging out” a few more times with her before I leave would be better than finding some fast and loose girl at the sports bar down the street from Ma’s, but I don’t know.

  Once you sleep with someone a few times and get to know them, shit changes and sometimes you have no control over how it’s going to change—if it’s going to be better or worse or complicated or the kind of thing you’ll spend the rest of your life trying to recover from.

  I’m leaning toward the inclination that no good can possibly come of something like this. Someone’s going to catch feelings and get hurt and more than likely it’s not going to be me.

  “I don’t know if it’s a good idea,” I say.

  Her expression doesn’t waver. “I’m not taking ‘no’ for an answer.”

  I exhale. I just want to get the fuck out of here, get through the rest of the week, and get my ass overseas where I belong.

  “I can get some of my shifts covered for the week,” she says, stepping closer and wrapping the blanket so tight the tops of her breasts practically spill out. It’s a silent bribe, I fucking know it is. “Come on. We could have fun.”

  “No romance or dates?” I ask.

  “None.” She makes an ‘x’ across her chest.

  “No bullshit or lies?” I ask.

  I can’t believe I’m even considering this. It’s got to be those eyes. Those big brown eyes. She’s luring me in, casting a spell or some shit. I don’t know. For some reason, I feel almost powerless around her. Or maybe it’s nothing more than curiosity and an amazing sex hangover that left me wanting more.

  “Zero.” Her full lips turn up at the sides, like a girl who knows she’s about to get what she wants.

  Running a hand through my messy hair, I exhale, locking eyes with her. “Fine.”

  This marks the first time in the last ten years that I’ve been d
efeated by a woman, that I’ve given up control of a situation when every fiber of my being is screaming at me to walk away, to say no while I still can, before this gets messy.

  She wraps her arms around my shoulders, bouncing before pressing her body against mine. “Go home. Get some sleep. Saturday number one is tomorrow.”

  I just hope I won’t live to regret this.

  And I hope she won’t either.

  Chapter Five

  Maritza

  Saturday #1

  “I never realized how small Miley Cyrus was,” I say as I pull Isaiah toward her wax likeness Sunday morning. “I think I was twelve last time I looked like this.”

  Isaiah doesn’t seem amused and he doesn’t seem to care.

  “Hey, look, you’re the same height as Ryan Gosling,” I say, pointing.

  Yesterday morning a courier delivered my phone from The Mintz at approximately seven AM, and I can only imagine Isaiah arranged that.

  This morning I texted him as soon as I woke up and told him to meet me at 6933 Hollywood Boulevard by 9:30 AM. I met him with two coffees in hand—two creams and a half of a sugar pack for him—because somehow I remembered.

  “You don’t find this shit creepy?” he asks.

  “I find real celebrities creepier than their waxy counterparts.” I take a sip of coffee. “They’re so … all over the place. You never know if they’re going to be nice or rude or in a good mood or a bad mood or if they’re nothing like the last fifteen movie roles they played. These wax people are more real than any celebrity, and I speak from experience.”

  He doesn’t ask, but he doesn’t have to. When you live in LA, people just assume you run into famous people on a daily basis. And sometimes you do. Depends on where you work or where you spend most of your time.

  These days, living in my grandmother’s guesthouse in her Brentwood estate on the same street where Marilyn Monroe took her final breath, I don’t tend to get out much. Most people in Brentwood keep to themselves and the flashier stars stick to Beverly Hills and those places. A few of the B and C listers who’ve pseudo-retired and started families have been migrating to Encinitas and Temecula, but for the most part, I might see someone I recognize from TV mayyyyybe once a month.

  “Oh, full disclosure,” I say, placing my hand on his arm as I catch him checking out waxy J. Lo’s booty. “We were talking about not being fake and stuff yesterday?”

  “Yeah?”

  “My boobs are fake. Just putting it out there in the interest of full honesty and sticking to our agreement.”

  He smirks for a split second, dimples flashing, and his honeyed eyes land on my rack.

  “That wasn’t an invitation to check them out,” I say, pointing at him with two fingers and then pointing at my eyes. “Up here, Corporal.”

  “How’d you know I was a corporal?” he asks.

  “Rachael told me that day at the diner. I don’t forget a thing.” I point to my head and give him a wink.

  He sniffs, like maybe he’s impressed. “Anyway, that was a natural reflex. Forgive me.”

  “Forgiven,” I say, pressing my palms against my full C-cups. “I’ve had them since the month I turned eighteen. At the time, all my girlfriends were getting new boobs as graduation gifts, and my friend’s dad was a plastic surgeon who offered a buy-one-implant-get-one-free deal to all her friends. In retrospect, having her dad do my surgery was kind of creepy, but at the time, all I could think about was how nice it was going to be to finally fill out a bikini top for the first time in my life.”

  “Priorities of an eighteen-year-old.”

  “Exactly.” I grin, head tilting, and I nudge his shoulder with mine. “See, you get it.”

  We make our way into the next room, which is set up like some fancy nightclub. Will Smith is perched on some futuristic-looking seat, Jada standing beside him. Across from them is Edward Norton—random—and then of course Brad and Angelina.

  “Whoever runs this place needs to read an Us Weekly. Brangelina broke up, like, a year ago,” I say.

  “Who?”

  “Never mind.”

  He slips his hands into his jeans pockets, and I watch the subtle flex of his triceps before following the round curve of his shoulders. Isaiah is pure muscle. Hard, steely muscle.

  Shaking my head, I snap myself out of it.

  “You’re not into this celebrity stuff, are you?” I ask. “You seem bored. If I’m being honest. And I am. Always.”

  He drags his hand down his full mouth. “Yeah. This isn’t my thing.”

  “Then why do you live in LA?”

  “I don’t. My mom is here. I stay with her between deployments.”

  “So, where’s home then?” I ask.

  Isaiah shrugs. “Nowhere.”

  I follow him to the next exhibit, which is full of historical replicas of people like Benjamin Franklin and George Washington. He lingers in here a bit longer. Maybe history is more his thing?

  “My cousin, Eli, is a huge history buff,” I say. “He’s in the army, too. I think that’s partially why he joined. He wanted to be in command, he wanted to lead, but more than that, he wanted his name printed in a history book. True story.”

  He shakes his head. “Yeah, I’ve met a lot of those.”

  “Can you believe I’ve lived in LA my entire life and this is the first time I’ve ever been here?” I muse. “Here, take my picture next to this guy. I like his hair.”

  “Thomas Edison?” He lifts a brow.

  “Yeah.” I strike a pose, flashing a peace sign and sticking my tongue out of the side of my mouth a la Miley. Fuck trying to look cool. I’d rather be memorable, even if it means looking like a dork.

  Isaiah lifts his phone and snaps a picture, texting it to me a second later, and we head toward the exit.

  “So, uh … Before I knew you didn’t like this stuff, I kind of, sort of booked us this celebrity tour-of-homes sightseeing excursion.” I wince, eyes squinting hard as I shrug my shoulders. “But we don’t have to go.”

  Even though I already paid the eighty bucks to hold our spots …

  “Nah, it’s fine,” he says, glancing toward the distance. “I’ll try anything once.”

  “Just don’t get your hopes up, okay? You strike me as the adrenaline-seeking type, and this is going to be more like Midwestern tourists and little old ladies asking where Clark Gable used to live.”

  Looping my hand into the bend of his elbow because I’m an unapologetically touchy-feely kind of girl, I pull him toward Sunset Boulevard where we’re supposed to wait for some hot pink topless bus type of vehicle with the words CELEB VIP TOURS painted across the sides.

  By the time we round the corner, the open-top bus contraption is pulling into a reserved parking spot and a herd of little old ladies are climbing on.

  “Sure you want to do this?” I ask. “I’m giving you an out right now, so if you want it, you better take it.”

  “I told you, I’ll try anything once,” he says.

  “Good. Because I wouldn’t want you violating rule number one on our first day,” I say, winking.

  “Did you say day or date?” he asks, face pinched.

  “DAY,” I say, loud and clear, enunciating each and every letter.

  “All right. Just checking.”

  Elbowing him as we climb on board, I say under my breath, “You’d be so lucky.”

  I swear he fights a smirk.

  Retrieving my phone, I pull up our tickets in my email and the driver scans the barcodes. We find a seat in the back row, left side, and he gives me the outside which clearly has the better view.

  “Okay, are we ready for our Homes of the Stars tour?” The driver-slash-tour guide speaks into a microphone, his enthusiasm way too extreme for a weekday morning. The women around us smile and half-clap, and he takes his seat, buckling up.

  We pull into traffic a second later, and while I feel like an enormous dork, I’m secretly pleased because this is always something I’ve wanted to do, but
my friends always acted like they were too cool for shit like this.

  The first stop is the Holmby Hills neighborhood, where the guide rambles on about the Playboy Mansion, spouting as much trivia and fun facts as he can as we pass by the gated drive. Next we approach the old Spelling Manor, which now belongs to some international gazillionaire whose name I couldn’t understand because the guide’s mic was all crackly and an onyx Maserati was honking at a baby blue Aston Martin.

  Ten minutes later, he approaches the Holiday Palms neighborhood, which he proudly spouts was the place to live in the sixties, with Raquel Welch, Farrah Fawcett, and Gloria Claiborne all living door to door at one point in time.

  “It’s true,” I lean into Isaiah. “Grandma said Farrah was sweet as pie. Raquel was the one to watch out for. Wasn’t her fault though. Men couldn’t resist her exotic beauty and sensual charm.”

  “Grandma?” He lifts a brow.

  “Yep. Gloria Claiborne is my grandma,” I say. It’s better that I get it out now because sooner or later, I find myself accidentally working it into conversation. And it’s not that I’m trying to brag or name drop—because let’s be honest, most people my age have no idea who she was back then—but my grandma is one of my favorite human beings on the planet, so I talk about her more than most people probably talk about their grandmothers.

  He scratches the side of his nose, brows furrowed. “Wasn’t she in that movie …”

  I nod. “Davida’s Desire.”

  “Yeah,” he says.

  “You’ve seen it?”

  “No. But my dad had that famous poster in his garage growing up … the one with the white bikini.”

  I laugh. “Yeah, I know exactly which poster that is. My grandma has a room full of all her old movie posters.”

  Over the years, her poster for Davida’s Desire has gained cult status, kind of like Farrah’s red swimsuit cover. People recognize it instantly—Grandma’s thick, chocolate curls, round, babydoll eyes, elegant pointed nose, bee-stung pout, and curves spilling out of a tiny string bikini as she lies in the sand next to a turquoise ocean.