“You want that girl, you really want her and you do right by her, then don’t let anybody talk you out of keeping her—not even yourself.”
“Torch, you’re gonna have to either get your past handled or move on, brother. This shit, it’s been eating you alive for too long,” I say as my response.
“Yeah.”
“Seriously. Whatever that bitch you had did to you, or you did to her, you have to move on or fix that shit,” I say. He nods.
“I know. It’s been so long, I don’t know how I would even fix it,” he admits.
“Show up and talk,” I say.
“Life ain’t that easy.”
“It can be.”
I walk away from him, leaving him alone with his bottle of Jack at eight o’clock in the morning. Torch doesn’t sleep; and when he does, he has nightmares. I don’t know what they’re about, and I’ve never asked him, not that I think he’d tell me if I did.
I do know he had a woman once, when he was in the military, but none of us have ever seen or met her. He claims it just didn’t work out, but there’s so much more to that story, it’s ridiculous. He’s tightlipped, though. No amount of booze or drugs has ever made him open up about her to anybody. Year-by-year, it’s eating him alive, and if he doesn’t fix his shit, he’s going to continue to spiral down and never be able to dig his way back up.
I shake off thoughts of Torch as I walk back inside of my room. I’m surprised to find Hattie sitting with her back against the headboard, the sheet pulled up over her cute tits, and her hair messy as fuck around her face and shoulders.
“Andy was here,” she announces.
“He was,” I say, snubbing out my cigarette and stripping out of my clothes.
“He told you about my job,” she whispers.
“Yeah, he also basically admitted it was his doing,” I say as I climb in next to her and pull the sheet down off of her tits.
“Johnny,” she squeals.
“If we’re gonna have a discussion, I want to see those sweet tits of yours,” I murmur before I bend and take one of her nipples in my mouth and suck on it.
“I thought it was Willa,” she breathes.
“They probably both were part of it,” I murmur against her breast.
“I don’t have a job now, and I don’t know how I’m going to live on my own. I’m going to have to move back home,” she says as her voice trembles.
“Move to Bonners Ferry. The club owns lots of businesses, we’ll get you set up somewhere,” I say, sitting up and looking into her eyes, tired and red rimmed from crying and lack of sleep.
“I couldn’t do that,” she murmurs.
“Yeah, princess, you can. That’s what this club is about, helping each other. You’re my woman, you’ll have a job if you want it,” I announce.
“Where will I live?”
“We’ll find something today,” I suggest.
“We?”
“You don’t think that you’re movin’ here and you’re gonna be livin’ alone, do you?” I ask, arching a brow.
“I… we’ve only been seeing each other a little over a week,” she practically screeches.
“I know I’m not going anywhere, Hattie. I go on runs, and I’m in and out on club business all the time. I won’t be home every night, but when I am, I want to be in your bed,” I murmur kissing her soft lips.
“We’re crazy,” she whispers.
“Yeah, but it’s gonna be a fuckin’ wild ride, princess, so you better just hold the fuck on.”
Live together.
Johnny wants to live together, and I’m considering it.
I’m so dumb.
It’s completely crazy.
Johnny’s head is resting against my stomach as he snores lightly. He’s been asleep for hours, but I can’t seem to shut my brain off. There is too much running around up there, too many made-up scenarios and too many worries to even begin to relax enough to sleep.
The phone on the floor buzzes and I reach down to grab it, not wanting to disturb him. I like having him wrapped around me. I have a feeling he isn’t really a cuddler and this is a rarity that I should soak up. There’s a text message and I don’t want to read it but I accidently catch a glimpse of the message. It prompts me to read the rest.
Mom – Hey baby, I need money. Your dad is at it again.
Mom – He’s getting really bad Johnny, please. Help me.
Johnny – Leave him. I’ll help.
Mom – I can’t do that he’d die. I just need a little money until my next check.
Johnny – For your next fix?
Mom – I can’t quit cold turkey.
Mom – Please. I’ll die. It’ll be on you if I do. Can you live with yourself?
The messages are non-stop. Thousands upon thousands, and each and every time Johnny concedes and gives her money. His parents are addicts.
I gently place the phone down and close my eyes tightly, aching for him. No wonder he doesn’t want to talk about them, about his life while he lived with them as a boy. I wonder what kind of hell he lived in as a child. I feel so sad for him, for the boy that he was, even if it was years ago. He has pain that will never go away; it will surely stay with him for his entire life.
“We need food,” he grumbles against my stomach. I push all thoughts of his parents aside as his rough voice washes over me.
“That sounds good,” I murmur as I run my fingers through his hair.
“I’ll get your shit, we’ll shower, and I’ll feed you. Then we’ll go house hunting,” he says as he sits up and yawns, running his hand through his hair.
“Okay,” I murmur as I watch him.
He doesn’t say another word as he puts some jeans on and walks out of the room, barefoot and shirtless. I root around on the floor until I find his shirt from the night before and slip that on over my body while I start to pick up. I chuckle to myself, because he’s like me—his clothes are strewn all over the floor, everywhere.
I hear the door open and then close. I’m bent over, picking up a pair of Johnny’s jeans, when I feel his big hands span my hips. Then his bare cock slides between my center, grazing my clit then he repeats the motion.
“Johnny,” I sigh.
“Stay just like that,” he grunts as he gently guides his cock inside of me. I inhale sharply as I grip his jeans tightly. My hands are on the floor and I’m completely bent in half, my legs already shaky.
“Fuck, it’s like your body was made for me, princess,” he says. It’s guttural, on a groan, and it makes me whimper. How just his voice can do that, I don’t know.
“Oh, my god,” I sigh when he starts to speed up his thrusts.
The blood is rushing to my head and I feel dizzy, but on top of that, I can feel myself climbing toward my release. Everything combined is too damn much. My entire body is shaking and the only reason I haven’t fallen over is because Johnny’s wrapped his hands around my waist and is holding me up. My knees are locked in place and I pinch my eyes closed feeling every move he makes inside of me.
“Next time, I’m tying you up for me,” he breathlessly whispers as his fingers press harder into my waist. His hips thrust faster and harder into me.
“I’m close,” I whisper into the quiet room.
“Come all over my cock, Hattie, show me how much you need me,” he demands. As if my body does his bidding, I come.
I come hard, and I come long. My eyes roll in the back of my head and I feel all of my breath leave my lungs.
Then, with his dick still inside of me, I feel Johnny’s hands wrap around my chest. He pulls me up against his chest. I’m lightheaded and dizzy, but Johnny isn’t done; he hasn’t come yet.
One of his hands stays on my chest while the other wraps around the back of my knee and picks my leg up and out. He thrusts deep inside of me. I sigh and let my head fall to his shoulder, my lips grazing his stubbled chin.
“Touch yourself for me, Hattie. I want to hear you and feel you come again.”
&nb
sp; I shiver before my hand goes between my legs. I open my fingers in a V shape and let them travel to where we’re connected, feeling him slide in and out of me, my wetness that coats his dick against my fingers.
“Princess,” he murmurs on a sigh.
“You feel so good, Johnny, all of you,” I say, meaning every word.
I feel the need to give him affirmation of my emotions toward him. Maybe to him, it’s just sex, but to me, it’s so much more. Especially now that I know a little bit about his childhood. I want to give him happiness—happiness it seems he’s never had before. I want to make his life easy, something I’m sure he’s never had—something I can actually give to him.
“Get yourself there, Hattie. I want this pussy to squeeze my cock one more time before I come deep inside of it,” he groans in my ear. It sends a flood of heat throughout my entire body.
I move my hand to my clit and I begin to work myself, harder and faster, building higher and higher. I’m going to give Johnny what he wants from me and from my body. I shout as my body begins to quake and my release rushes through me, faster than I anticipated.
Johnny pushes inside of me, seated deep, and I feel his cock grow and jerk as he fills me with his climax. His mouth goes to my neck and he kisses me before he gently nips my skin. Tenderly, he continues to glide in and out of me, riding out his release.
“Your pussy has to be hurting, but I won’t apologize,” he murmurs against my sweat soaked skin.
“I’ll be okay,” I wince as he pulls out of me and lets my leg go.
I turn in his arms and look up at him. Johnny brushes my hair away from my face and cups my cheeks, his thumbs grazing my cheekbones.
“You’re too good to me, Hattie. I don’t deserve you at all, but I won’t let you go, either,” he sighs as he bends down and brushes his lips against mine.
“I’m yours, Johnny. It’s as simple as that,” I shrug.
“Let’s get ready and get some food,” he suggests, changing the subject.
I don’t say anything, choosing to walk over to my bag and gather all of my toiletries. I hate that they have communal showers, and I’m dreading being in the bathroom and having that bitch, Serina, anywhere near me again.
Johnny tells me to take my time, that he’ll be right outside the door when I’m finished so that he can walk me back to his room to get dressed. I nod as my answer and hurry to take care of my business and shower.
I want to get on with the day, to eat, and look at apartments. I’m excited, nervous, and terrified all rolled into one. This relationship could explode into something ugly and nasty, or it could be exactly what both of us is looking for. But if I don’t take the leap of faith, I’ll never know.
Andy and Willa are convinced Johnny is bad news, and maybe he is, but I don’t think so. I think he’s damaged from a crappy childhood and he’s found himself a family. I watched him with his friends last night, and the women they called their own. His friends are rough, and they seem to all be cut from the same cloth, but their women are cute and sweet. Nothing like that horrible Serina slut, and women I could see myself becoming friends with in the future.
I didn’t feel out of place or unaccepted; in fact, I felt the exact opposite. I like that for him, that he has good women around him. It also says something about the men—that although they are rough, they are good too, because those women wouldn’t be at their sides if they weren’t.
I scroll through my phone—five new messages.
Five.
All from my mother.
Wanting nothing other than her next fix.
I close my eyes. I don’t want to deal with her, ever. From past experience, I know if I don’t, she’ll start calling next; then she’ll show up at the clubhouse. I don’t want my brothers to have to deal with her druggie ass if I’m not here.
I’ll have to give her some more money. She’s been coming to me more frequently, which means she’s not just a little off the wagon, but completely and totally strung out.
There were times where my mom was good, under control. Those times were few and far between, but when it happened, she tried to be a good mom. My father, however, never tried. He liked my mom high and dependent on him. He liked having the control over her that her habit gave him. He had a habit of his own. Sure he liked drugs, but he liked pussy more, and a wide variety of it.
Unfortunately, he didn’t hide it—even made my mom join him. Maybe that’s where I get my need from, because I saw him bangin’ my mom and other bitches all my life. Sometimes even other guys, tag teaming my mom with him. Nothing hidden, everything out in the open.
“Hey,” Hattie says from in front of me.
I look down and grin. She’s clean faced, her hair wet from her shower, and she’s wrapped in a towel. Totally fuckable. I could take her again, but her pussy is probably throbbing. While I like the fact that she’ll be feeling me between her thighs all day, I also want to fuck her tonight, so I’ll give her a few hours reprieve.
“Let’s get you dressed so you can eat,” I murmur.
I watch as her face breaks out into a wide smile and it makes my chest ache. It’s unfamiliar and I don’t understand it, but it makes me feel warm inside.
I lie on the bed a few minutes later as I text my mom back, telling her that she’ll get her money this afternoon. I feel like shit knowing I’m, essentially, just giving her drugs. I hit send and then look up and watch Hattie. She’s slipped into a pair of tight jeans and an off the shoulder, loose sweater that is cropped and shows off just a thin line of her flat stomach. Her hair is still damp, but it’s in a braid that runs down and over her shoulder. Then I watch as she slips on a pair of short boots. She looks fuckin’ cute.
“I’m ready,” she announces as she grabs her purse and throws it over the shoulder opposite of her long braid of hair.
“No makeup?” I ask in surprise.
“Do I need some?” She looks mildly panicked and it makes me want to laugh.
“No, princess, you look good just the way you are,” I grunt.
I take her hand in mine and guide her out of my room. I’m hungry as fuck, and if I stay in that room another minute, I’m going to need her pussy again. I’m a fucking addict, jonesin’ for a hit.
“Church at five,” Torch calls out as we walk out of the bar.
Fuck, I forgot about church tonight. Though I shouldn’t have because the original charter’s men are still littering the main room.
“What’s church?” Hattie asks after we’re in my car.
I hate that I have to drive this cage around so much lately, but Hattie hasn’t ridden since that one short distance when she was sixteen, and it’s getting colder out. I don’t want her to hate it; I want to wait for the perfect day to put her on the back of my bike—to show her just how awesome it is to feel free.
“It’s just what we call meetings,” I inform her as I drive toward town to the best diner we have in Bonners Ferry.
Hattie doesn’t say anything else and its nice. She’s good at just being at my side. She doesn’t talk incessantly about stupid ass shit just to fill silence, like other women do. I like how we can just be with each other, next to each other, and not feel the need to fill the air with words all of the time.
I pull the car into the diner and we quickly get out. I wrap my arm around her waist as soon as we walk inside of the place and wait for the waitress to seat us. I cringe when I see who it is. She’s a girl that parties with us on the weekends, and I think we’ve all had our turn with her, including me—well, Tasha and me.
“Hey, Dirty Johnny, how are you?” she asks, puffing out her chest, making it really hard not to look at her big tits.
“Hey, Harmony,” I murmur. “Table for two.”
“Yeah.” She sighs as she takes the plastic menus out of their holder and starts to walk toward a booth.
Hattie is stiff beside me now. I know she hasn’t missed the way Harmony is acting. It’s obvious there’s been something between us.
/> “Your waitress will be with you in a minute. I get off at four if you two need something else entirely,” she grins. Then she leans down and shows me even more of her ample cleavage. “Miss that big cock of yours and the way you fuck me dirty. I’ll even eat your girl out if that’s what you want.”
Harmony winks before she walks away from us, not waiting for a response. I adjust my dick in my pants as images of Harmony sucking on Hattie’s clit while I fuck her runs through my head. Then I turn to Hattie who is looking down at her menu, appearing to read it.
“What do you want to eat, princess?” I ask, trying to change the subject, hoping she hadn’t heard Harmony.
I’m not ready to share Hattie, not really. Though Harmony painted a pretty image, I don’t want her. I only want Hattie, and I want her all to myself. That will change. It’s inevitable. I’ve never fucked just one woman for any length of time. But I’m enjoying it being just the two of us for now.
“Um, you pick for me. I need to go to the restroom,” she mutters. She’s up and gone before I can say another word.
“That little girl will never understand a man like you,” Harmony says as she leans a hip against the booth.
“Yeah? Why’s that?” I ask as I stare at the closed bathroom door.
“You are rugged and rough, and you need to fuck like you need air to breathe. A man like you could never be tied down to one pussy. Just like I could never be tied down to one dick. It just isn’t in us to commit to one person.” Harmony says.
She leaves my side and I think about her words. A man like you could never be tied down to one pussy. I’ve always thought that, always. That was why I never even tried a relationship. Not until Hattie. Not any one woman has held my interest long enough for much more than an occasional second fuck, let alone more than that.
I mean, I fuck Tasha, Harmony, and Serina repeatedly, but that’s what they’re around for. There’s nothing but sex with them. With Hattie, it’s more. I actually feel for her. I want to keep her safe, protect her, watch her wake up in the morning, and fall asleep next to her at night.
Rough & Rugged (Notorious Devils Book 3) Page 11