Fake (A Pretty Pill)

by Criss Copp

“True, are you willing to engage?”

  “Absolutely not.” I laugh.

  “Damn. Ouch.” Hank cries, holding the side of his head. Silas just cuffed him with his shopping bags. His other hand is still holding mine. I notice he doesn’t look intent on dropping it, despite the fact that we’ve already crossed the street. It makes me feel really warm inside, and again, tingly like mini explosions of delight are going off and then setting off the next one in some kind of weird chain reaction.

  I look at Silas, expecting him to be angry with Hank considering the grip he has on my hand, but he’s smiling. Hank sees his smile and returns it with a cheeky grin. I can see these two becoming good friends. I can’t help feeling a little jealous that Silas won’t need me as much once that’s established.

  “Oh my God. Belle?” A syrupy sweet voice sounds from my right. I know who it is, and I should run and hide, but I don’t. Because I’m stupid; so I briefly close my eyes and turn to face Katherine and her two angelic children, that will undoubtedly turn into brats as they grow up.

  “Katherine, how are you?” I fake enthuse.

  “Oh, my God. It is you. I didn’t recognize you in your work clothes.” she screams all girly. I’m in casual wear. Jeans and a t-shirt. There’s nothing about them screaming ‘work’, but then I used to look like a miniature stepford wife too, so I can understand.

  I can feel Silas’ breath in my ear, and it gives me goose bumps all down my torso.

  “Ah, Isi, do you want me to punch her in the head too?” Silas whispers in my ear. I laugh inside my throat, which results in a strangled grunting noise.

  “I saw your mom the other day. I’ve got kids Belle, kids. Can you believe it?”

  “Yes, I totally believe it. I can see the evidence right in front of me.”

  I look at both of the guys. Hank is looking at her swollen breasts, the aftermath of just having had a baby; and Silas has a shocked and disgusted look on his face, but he sees me looking and he attempts to tone it down.

  “Oh, Lance is so busy all the time.” She begins.

  Probably banging his secretary in the ass at the office, I think.

  “So I have heaps of time on my hands. Although looking after these two can be difficult.” She sings. “You simply must come over to afternoon tea one day this week.”

  “You don’t have nannies?” I ask. I’m shocked. She surely has someone doing all her housework and cooking; but no nannies?

  “Of course I do, but I still have to do all of the mommy things with them during the middle of the day.

  I’m thinking about all the mommy things she’s not doing by cutting out the mornings, evenings and nights; like getting up for them when they’re restless at night, getting them breakfast, potty training, reading bedtime stories and dealing with sleepy bedtime tantrums; and then I think she’s just babysitting her kids on a daily basis while some overworked and underpaid nanny gets to raise them for her.

  I’m about to say something regarding this, when the evil Silas whispers in my ear again.

  “Oh God Isi, please tell me you were never like this woman.”

  I change tactic and introduce her to the guys I’m hanging with these days.

  “Katherine, let me introduce Silas and Hank.” I drag Silas forward against his will. Hank’s already shaking her hand willingly.

  Katherine takes one look at Silas and her face breaks into a huge grin. Typical, she always zeroes in on the gorgeous guy. She reaches out to shake his hand too, and he grabs hold of my hand tighter. So I pull his hand forward and manage to pull my hand free at the last moment, enforcing his compliance to shake her hand. She wraps both her hands around his; her long glossy French tipped nails gently scraping down the back of his hand as he pulls it free. The stare he gives me in that moment is murderous. I’ll have to ask about his aversion later.

  “Oh, and these are my children, Denim and Ariel.” She smiles seductively at Silas.

  At first I don’t see it, but it becomes obvious in moments that she’s sending some sort of signal to Silas, because he’s swallowing convulsively.

  Hank asks her how old the kids are and I quickly take the opportunity to ask Silas what’s going on.

  “Is she sending you some sort of signal?” I whisper.

  “Besides undressing me with her eyes and fucking me to death?” he seethes.

  “Yes.”

  “She keeps looking at you and then looking at me, and then she looks at her kids with a smile.” he says.

  “What does that mean in man speak?”

  “I don’t know.”

  “You do, you’re just not telling me.”

  “In my amateur observations of the mating ritual dance, I would say she is primitively pointing out that she can have children and you can’t.”

  “Bitch.” I seethe.

  “We’re going to have a very serious discussion about this later Isobelle.” He says gruffly and growls.

  My eyebrows shoot up over the use of my full name, “Why?”

  But then Katherine is weighing back in to talk to us again.

  “So how do you three know each other?” she smiles.

  I look at her looking at Silas and realize that the question is directed solely at Silas. She’s flicking her hair and pouting and smoothing down her dress over her hip. It’s disgusting.

  I suddenly remember when she cut me off and ignored me after I enlisted. I remember how much it hurt that the person I had told everything to since Kindergarten, suddenly wouldn’t engage with me. I’m looking at her now, gloating in front of me and openly flirting with the guy who I’m currently holding hands with again, since Silas made sure of it. She’s either oblivious or doesn’t care that he’s standing there with me. She doesn’t appear to remember that she’s married either.

  I have a sudden insert of rage throughout my body, and so I begin thinking of ways of destroying any threads of existing connection she thinks she has with me; just so I can keep her away from Silas.

  And then a slutty and provocative thought comes to mind.

  I lace my fingers through Silas’ and squeeze. He takes the cue and runs with it, squeezing right back. I then reach over to Hank and grab his hand. I don’t lace my fingers through, but I drag him around so that I’m flanked on both sides by the guys. I just hope Hank shuts the fuck up with what I’m about to say. I squeeze his hand in a silent plea.

  “We’re setting up house together over in Laguna Hills.” I say sweetly.

  “You’re flat mates?” she asks, lightly licking her lips as if she needs to wet those plump, glossed up lips to give someone a blowjob.

  Oh God, really? Game on.

  “Oh no.” I shake my head and smile. I wave her over with my head, so that she steps away from her kids in their stroller pram. They don’t need to hear what I’m about to say. It’s not their fault Katherine is their mom.

  “The three of us are lovers. All hetero I assure you. Hank and Silas don’t, you know.” I whisper and wink.

  She’s standing still in stunned silence.

  I continue.

  “Best decision I ever made letting Silas convince me to take on Hank too. Ménage sex is so… amazing.” I sigh. She’s still standing there and Silas is holding my hand firmly in what I hope is encouragement. Hanks hand is getting seriously sweaty.

  I may be overdoing it; but I can tell by her look that it’s kind of working. Her mind is definitely going there. I need to go all the way and seal this deal.

  “You have no idea Katherine, if Lance ever lets you try it, grab it with both hands.” I giggle as though I’d made a funny, and then I continue. “Silas just loves watching Hank fuck me, it sends him off. And double penetration, holy shit. I have never orgasmed so hard in my life. My vagina nearly combusted into fire and my ass was crying in ecstasy.”

  Her face has completely dropped, her breathing has completely changed and I’m just grateful for the lull in pedestrians’ right at this moment.

  Hank is awesome. He jus
t picks up on the vibe and runs with it.

  ‘I love seeing Silas fuck you too sweetie, especially when he comes in your mouth.” he says, reaching across and lifting a piece of hair from my eyes and swiping it over my ear with a loving caress.

  I smile warmly at him, although I nearly lose it right then and there and burst into rapturous laughter. This role play is seriously so wrong. I can see the information doing the rounds through the gossip grapevine. It’s not only Katherine that I won’t have to bother with ever again. This is awesomeness on a really, really dirty level.

  “Oh, I know.” I say softly to him like a lover might do, and then I turn to Silas and look up at him. He looks down at me, and I can tell he’s on side and seriously struggling not to burst out laughing.

  “But you taste so damn good honey.” I lie with the most sincerity I can manage while keeping a straight face (I mean he might taste good, but let’s not go there right now).

  “So do you.” He whispers and leans down to place his lips on mine and softly kiss me.

  Katherine steps back, finally.

  Silas’ kiss is completely unexpected, but I go with it. I feel Hank’s head lean on my shoulder on my other side, but my flushing feelings are all for Silas. I feel the change in Silas’ kiss as he moves his lips slightly and begins to trace my lips with his tongue.

  Fuck, I’ve got to stop this right now. I’m getting aroused by his kiss. It’s so sexy – shit and God damn. I softly move my lips in a detached sucking movement, pulling seductively at his lips but not allowing him to escalate the kiss any further; and then I pull back slowly, licking my lips where his tongue had just traced and looking him dead in the eyes.

  Shit, I’m so turned on. And by the look I’m getting from him right now, and the way his chest is moving rapidly for air, I think he could be too.

  Silas.

  Hot fucking damn. Seriously hot, seriously fucking hot.

  But no way would I share her with Hank. Even though hearing about it was seriously hot.

  I haven’t kissed anyone but Shae before.

  But I liked this kiss. I really, really liked the feelings that were generated when kissing her.

  Shit. I want to do it again.

  She’s my friend; my sexy talking, as pretty as an angel friend. I need to calm down. I need to think clearly; and I need to analyze this without her interference. I’m still not sure I’ve entirely moved beyond Shae.

  We watch Katherine make her excuses to leave; pushing her children away from us.

  Hank is laughing.

  “That is some seriously hot shit you just said.” he tells Isi.

  “Well that’s as close as you get to having sex with me Hank.” she laughs.

  She drops his hand and goes to drop mine, but I won’t let her. Not yet, I need to feel her skin against mine for a little longer. It’s probably not the right thing to do, but I can’t help it.

  “Can I phone you and pull myself off while you talk like that to me over the line?” Hank asks.

  “Eww, No.” She throws down. I glare at Hank. I know he’s just having fun; but I’m going to punch him in the face regardless. He needs to stop hitting on her. She’s not his; I’m kind of thinking she’s mine.

  Is she? Is that where this is going? I really need to reconvene and work out what I’m doing with Isi. I need to understand this properly, I need some time.

  “Ah well, there’s always the memories.” he chuckles, before heading into the store.

  She looks up at me again, and my first thought is to drag her into a searing kiss, but having just admitted to myself that I need some time to think about things; I clear my throat and talk instead.

  “She was horrible.” I start with.

  “She used to be my best friend.”

  “Were you ever seriously like that?”

  “Yes, at least the teenage equivalent version of that.” She sighs.

  “Why?”

  “I grew up that way.” she shrugs.

  “That’s fake, that’s so fucking fake I nearly vomited on her shoes.”

  “You don’t like fake?” she smiles up at me.

  “Isi let me explain something to you. I want you to listen to what I tell you and I don’t want you to interrupt.” I request. She nods her agreement.

  “You get to see the real me, Isi; all of it. The person who says dumb shit, the person who admits to hearing voices, the person who gets depressed and sometimes gets ultra high and angry. I hope you don’t have to see the worst, but I will not hide that from you either. Everyone else, apart from my family and now you, don’t see that. Everyone else gets to see the fake me. The skin I put on like clothes and wear for a performance like a stupid circus clown. The fake me that gets accepted, the fake me that means I’m allowed out in public; the fake me that grates and hurts to wear, because I’ll always know that people don’t like me, they like the fake performance I’m obligated to perform for them.” I breathe, squeeze her hand and look at the sky momentarily before looking back at her.

  “I have no other choice but to do that; to perform and be someone I’m not in order to gain acceptance from the real people population; otherwise I’d be ostracized by nearly all of them. The real me has to be a secret. I have no choice. Then you get people who for no real reason parade around with fake smiles, teeth, boobs and tans. They have a choice but they choose to be fake to make people think they’re something else; when they’d easily be able to find acceptance and love just being themselves. They plaster on their fake looks and personalities and lie to the world when they don’t even have to. I fucking hate that, and I can’t stomach them for even a second.” I seethe.

  Isi places a hand on my heart, and I look at her small slender hand and realize I like it there. It makes me swallow.

  “I used to be like that; like her. But I was dying inside. I took steps to change and I did. I became my real self. I am me now. It means I’m ostracized from my family, but it also means I don’t have to lie.” She smiles.

  I want to say in that moment that I could fall in love with a girl like her, but I don’t because it’s just not the right thing to do. Instead I pull her in and give her a huge hug.

  “Can I see your clown costume?” I ask.

  “My what?”

  “The fake you.”

  “I don’t do fake anymore.” she growls.

  “Surely you have photos.”

  “Oh sure. Yeah, I have lots.”

  “Then can I see them?” I ask, “I need to have another laugh.”

  “Fucker.” she says, pushing me hard in the chest to release her.

  “Oh, come on. It will be cathartic for both of us.” I laugh.

  “Okay. Finish up here and we’ll go to my place for an hour before I drop you off at your sisters.”

  “Can we take Hank home first?” I plead. I want to be alone with her, no matter how dangerous that might prove to be.

  “Yes.”

  ***

  Hank took himself home since he wanted to walk the 4 miles to the apartments in the sunshine. Isi and I jumped into her Lexus, and drove to her luxury beachside home. Luckily the ‘coast was clear’ of her mother.

  “This one is weird.” I say, indicating a photo of her at the top of a cheerleading pyramid. She’s very pretty in the picture in a teenage girl kind of way, but I far prefer the beautiful woman she is now.

  “Why?”

  “Because you’re standing on all of the fake girls.” I laugh.

  “That doesn’t even make sense.”

  “It does to me.”

  “It would because you’re weird. Weirdness attracts weirdness.” she points out.

  “Oh, so that’s why you like me. You’re weird too.”

  “Weak and childish comeback.” she mock yawns.

  “Yeah?” I say, throwing the photo album on the lounge beside us and going in to tackle her like I had the other day. This time there would be no interruptions.

  “Get off me.” She is laughing.
<
br />   “Nup and I am not a child.” I laugh, tickling her harder and on and on till she’s squealing loudly.

  I’m perched over the top of her and I’m breathing hard, and then I have this confusing moment where I almost move in to push her shirt up and begin kissing her under it, but I stop myself, and I mean, I literally just stop myself and look at her giggling underneath me.

  My brain is analyzing this moment in extreme detail.

  I’m aroused; seriously and unquestionably aroused.

  I want to bury myself in this woman.

  I want to tell her what she’s doing to me, but I don’t want to ruin the friendship we’ve started.

  I’m finding her laughter intoxicating like a siren’s song.

  I think she’s not only beautiful, but seriously hot.

  I find her scent intoxicating.

  I have yet to discover any serious flaws in her.

  I’m not sure how I feel about Shae anymore, it’s just pain. I can’t even feel regret for not trying harder.

  I’m scared.

  I look at her, really look at her. Her blue grey eyes that go from a lightish grey to a darker blue at the edges are staring at me. Her long brown hair is beginning to escape from her ponytail. Her face is flawless; perhaps a throwback to her previous life, but it’s beautiful. Her slight nose is flaring as she breathes frantically through it. Her lips are only slightly plump, not swollen like some of the women I see around here; and she’s biting her bottom lip. Her teeth are pretty and pearly white, not a blindingly bleached shade. Her chest is heaving to regain her breath and it highlights the perky breasts she hides under her t-shirt. She’s so beautiful, can’t her parents see that?

  “Silas?” she whispers.

  It breaks me from staring at her, and I notice I’m breathing hard and kneeling on the couch over her and between her legs; my hands and arms are propping my body up and keeping me from lying on top of her.

  “Isi…”

  What? What do I want to say right now? Nothing, I want to kiss her. I can’t escape the feeling of kissing her today – I want more, I want her I want to be with her, in her; and I’m tingling throughout every inch of my body. It feels like the first time, but it feels even better because I know we’ve both been here before and it could be amazing from the first try.