by Sadie Savage
She made herself a sandwich and then one for her father, then joined him in the living room for an episode of Judge Hunter. The show was a reality program about a small claims court where the judge would get fed up with the people who would come to see her. She often told people they were ridiculous or irresponsible, much to her father’s delight.
Just as she got settled, a noise started up outside. At first, it sounded like a weird buzzing, maybe a swarm of bees. After a moment, Joy realized it was the sound of motorcycles all revving and speeding down the street. She tried to ignore it but the noise filled the living room. Her father cranked up the volume on the TV but it was no use, the roar of the bikes speeding past was too much for even the loudest setting.
“Damn kids! I hate those biker sons of bitches. I’ve called the police a hundred times. Never does any good.”
“Bikers?” Joy stood and went to the window, too curious to let the moment pass. She pushed aside the curtain just as a gang of bikes turned the corner on their street. The big, gleaming motorcycles careened around the corner like a parade. The air throbbed with the power of their engines and the drivers made sure to rev their engines as much as possible, announcing to the whole town that they were present and powerful.
She stared at the man who led the group. His deep black hair and bright eyes were incredibly familiar, but she couldn’t place him. Had they gone to school together?
Her father joined her at the window, scowling again. “I just hate to see that nice boy throw his life away like that. His parents didn’t raise him that way.”
“Who?”
“What do you mean who? The leader! Your ex-boyfriend, Zak. That’s his gang and that’s him right there in the lead. I tell you, he is not the kid I remember. No, sir. For a long time, I hoped you’d marry him. Now I hope you never go near Zak Mansing again.”
Joy’s heart stopped. Zak? No, it couldn’t be. Zak had loved reading, had spent long afternoons in the woods watching the birds and keeping an eye out for deer. Zak had been a volunteer at the church, a good student, a nice son to his parents. Now he was in a gang? She could hardly wrap her head around it.
The gang came back around and Joy stared out the window to get another look at the man who, long ago, had been her first boyfriend. For just a moment, he turned and saw her in the window. Did he give her a little smile, or was that her imagination? She wasn’t sure. All she knew was that her heart was going a million miles an hour. She couldn’t remember the last time a man had made her so excited.
Over the next few days, the mood of the town shifted. Apparently, the gang wasn’t there all the time, just once every few weeks. Everyone was a little more jumpy, a little less smiley when they were close by. Joy saw the difference instantly. Even Coco from the gas station seemed like a different person when she went in to buy some juice and eggs one morning.
“Hi Coco. How are you?”
“Good, thanks. That will be five dollars and eighty cents.”
Shocked at Coco’s poker face, she put the money down. Then, she heard them. The motorcycle engines revving like crazy as they drove straight for the station. She turned and hoped she’d have time to leave before they came in, but no such luck. By the time Coco had passed over her change, they were there. They parked so that they blocked the door and no one could leave. The group walked in with a tough swagger, throwing the door open and stationing one member in the doorway so no one could get in.
A bearded man in a black leather jacket approached the counter. “Hi Coco. How’re you?”
“You guys have to pay for your stuff. You don’t get to come in here and loot my store. It’s not okay.”
Joy backed up and tried to make herself as small as possible as the two had their stand-off, Coco demanding money while the bearded man insisted she worried too much. All around Joy, members of the gang were helping themselves to packaged cakes, bottles of soda, hot dogs from the spinning cooker and burritos from the fridge. All the food went right into their pockets or straight into their mouths. No one reached for their wallets.
Seeing a free corner, Joy made her way towards it, avoiding eye contact as much as possible. Without meaning to, she bumped into a shoulder and mumbled a “sorry.”
“That’s okay. Hey, wait a minute.” A hand grabbed hers and stopped her. “Joy? Is that you?”
Zak’s eyes looked just like she remembered, blue as a summer sky and just as clear. To her surprise, the sweetness she remembered was still evident in those eyes. She smiled back.
“It’s me. I just came back to town.”
“Wow. You know you look exactly the same.”
“No! You’re flattering me.”
“I’m not.” He smiled and squeezed her hand a little more. She didn’t pull away. The two stared at each other for a long moment, then started laughing. Joy wasn’t sure what about; although Zak and his friends robbing a store while they played catch up was kind of funny.
“Hey,” he said, still holding her hand. “What are you doing tonight? You want to get together and catch up?”
She looked around at his crew. All of them looked pretty rough. Even the pretty ladies in the group had a hardness in their eyes that made Joy very nervous. The ripped up jeans, the leather jackets, the shirts proclaiming their love of different brands of alcohol, all of it seemed to add up to a bad idea.
“I don’t know, Zak. My dad needs a lot of help. I better stay in tonight.”
“Alright, you’re playing hard to get. I understand.” He picked her hand up and looked at it, then looked her in the eye. “But you know you’ll go out with me one day. I don’t know when, I just know it’s going to happen. And so do you.”
He gave her hand a kiss, then gently lowered it back down to let it go. “Alright, troops! Let’s roll out.” He signaled for their exit by making a big circle around the top of his head with his hand and without protest the group filed out, got on their bikes, and roared off. Joy and Coco watched them leave, Coco with her arms crossed and red-faced. Joy’s eyes stayed on Zak. She couldn’t seem to look away. He looked back at her and they held eye contact for a long time, both of them smiling. She watched until he pulled away, and he and his crew disappeared into the distance.
Of course, she wasn’t going to go on a date with him; that would be massively stupid. Just the thought made her shake her head at the absurdity of the idea. But she couldn’t forget those beautiful eyes. They followed her everywhere she went for the rest of the day.
Chapter 3
Joy’s father had good days and bad. Sometimes, he wanted to dance in the living room, stay up late and eat chocolate ice cream or sing songs with his daughter. He seemed delighted to have her back in his life. Today, however, was not one of those days.
“Brenda, call my daughter, will you? I haven’t heard from her in ages. I’m worried.”
Orders to call herself were always given without eye contact. She hated it when she had to be Brenda. Brenda was unwanted, unrecognized. If Dad experienced any joy, he was loathe to share it with her when she became this other person to him. It made her heart sink down into her stomach.
Tonight, she thought she would try something. She walked over to the phone on the wall and picked up the receiver, covertly unplugging the connection so she could press the numbers without calling anyone.
“You remember her number?”
“Sure thing, Steve. I’ve got it memorized.” She waited a few seconds, then put on her little performance.
“Hello, is Joy there? Oh great, could I speak to her, please? Yes, I can wait.” In the next room, the volume on the TV got lower and she could hear her dad leaning so far back in his lounger that it gave a big creak. “Joy? Hi! It’s Brenda, your Dad’s helper. Oh, we’re fine. We just wanted to call and see if you could manage a visit sometime soon. Really? You don’t say! Well, that would be just wonderful. He will be thrilled. I’ll tell him right now. Bye, Joy.”
She hung up and saw that her father’s head was peeking around the doorway, anxious for
news. “Well?” His eyebrows were almost all the way up his forehead. “What did she say?”
“She was missing you so much and so happy to hear that you were thinking of her that she’s coming to see you. She’ll be in first thing tomorrow.”
“Oh, that’s wonderful.” He put his hand on his chest, warming the space around his heart. When he looked up, he had the beginnings of tears in his eyes. “She was the best thing that ever happened to me, you know? We didn’t plan her, we just went for it. Being parents. She was my one impulsive decision and I don’t regret it. Not for a minute.” He looked up at her and instantly got annoyed. “What are you crying for? She’s not your daughter!” He huffed and stormed out of the room like a little boy, leaving Joy to hold her own heart.
The next morning, she woke up excited to see if her father would be back in Dad mode or if he would be her cranky patient again. She jumped up to make his coffee and get his bagels in the toaster. Dad really needed to cut back on bread. Well, that was for another day; today she prayed he would be happy.
He shuffled out of his room and gave her a big smile. “Good morning, sweetheart. Did you sleep alright?”
She ran over and gave him a big hug. “I did, Daddy. Thanks.”
He hugged her back. “Aren’t you sweet? You know, I had a memory come back to me last night.”
“What was that?”
“Do you remember that time we missed each other so much that you just dropped everything and came out here for a visit? All it took was one quick phone call from that cow, Brenda and you ran out here like a shot.” He patted her cheek. “That’s what I always loved about you, dear. You’ve always known just when you’re needed.”
The rest of the day was a nice one. The weather was mild and great for puttering around in the garden, so she and her father tooled around outside. When he asked her if she would go and pick up some chocolate ice cream at the store outside of town, she went happily, checking to make sure nothing had been left on or locked before she went.
“Anything else you need, Dad?”
He handed her some cash. “Get something for yourself. You’re a sweetheart, you deserve it.”
She ran out to the car and flew down the street, hoping if she hurried that Dad’s memory would hold out for the rest of the night.
As soon as she pulled into the parking lot, she saw them. The line of motorcycles right at the entrance. She swallowed and parked as far back as she could, uncertain what to do next. Then she saw the gang’s guard posted outside the door. They looked at each other for a moment, then he turned to the inside of the store to talk to someone. When he turned back to her, he gave her a big, come-on-over wave. She pointed to herself; me? He nodded. Gulping, she walked towards the big, carefully guarded doors and the big, bearded man standing with his hands in his pockets.
She could see herself reflected in his shades, the two women in his dark eyes looking pale and shaky as he stared at her, expressionless.
“Zak says come in and take what you want. You have the protection of The Beasts.” He stepped aside and let her through.
Inside, the small group of customers who had been cornered by the gang were standing in the back of the store near the pharmacy, doing everything they could to blend in with the wall. One of the women in the group of nervous shoppers looked at Joy and then quickly looked away. Joy recognized her, but wasn’t sure what her name was. She was about to join her and her silent cohort when she got a tap on the shoulder.
“Hey! Nice to see you again.” Zak opened his arms and gave her a big hug. She couldn’t help inhaling his warm, country-boy scent while they hugged. He smelled like dusty roads and pine trees, like old, beat-up trucks and barbecues. When he pulled away, he gave her his signature, bad boy smile. “So, you need something?”
“I’m just here to get some ice cream for my dad.” She pointed a finger into his chest. “And I intend to pay for it. I appreciate the invitation into the store with your… friends, but I’m here to buy, not take.”
He immediately put an innocent look on his face and his hand on his chest as if he were deeply offended. “Hey, we keep this town safe! Do you know how many rival gangs would be here if we weren’t? We’re unarmed and friendly, but the neighboring crews know better than to cross us. And hey.” He gestured to the store. “Everybody needs to eat.”
He took her by the arm and walked her by the vegetables and snacks, then around the corner to dairy section. “How have you been? You and Aris get married?”
“We’re divorced, actually.” She quickly crossed and uncrossed her fingers as she said it. After all, it wasn’t entirely untrue.
“Sorry to hear that.” He sighed and stared off into thedistance. “Aris was such a great guy. I mean, great enough for you to leave me for him.”
“Zak, I want you to know that I’ve never forgiven myself for—” The sight of his smile and the twinkle in his eye stopped her. She smacked his arm. “You really had me going! You big jerk.” She laughed as he feigned a seriously injured arm. “Alright, knock it off.”
He stopped her and turned her so she faced him directly. “Hey, don’t beat yourself up about something that happened in high school. You were just following your heart. Most people don’t have the courage, but you went for it. So what if he wasn’t the right guy? You still have time to meet someone.”
He turned and continued towards the freezer section before she could respond, still leading her by the arm as if they were walking down the red carpet. All around them were members of Zak’s gang, all of whom were careful to give them a wide berth as they walked past the glass doors filled with a rainbow of ice cream flavors. Joy noticed how reluctant everyone was to approach or even cross paths with Zak as they perused the flavors. What had he told them about her?
“So,” Zak asked, leaning against one of the freezers, “we’re looking for ice cream for your dad.”
“Yes.”
“And you insist on paying for it?”
“I do.”
He gave a little shrug. “I can’t remember the last time I passed up free food. But, if you insist on paying, you should at least get something good. What does he like?”
She smiled as he seriously considered all the different flavors. He was so incredibly good-looking, and his face looked so young. It was hard for her to believe they were the same age.
“He loves chocolate. Any kind of chocolate.”
Zak opened a glass door and took out a tub of Death by Chocolate. “Well, this is chocolate with about five other kinds of chocolate and chocolate crunchies swirled in. Will that do?”
“Perfect.” She held it and smiled at him for a moment and he smiled back. “Zak, I know you’ve got this whole motorcycle gang thing happening and I have no idea what your personal life is, but I just want you to know…” She cleared her throat, suddenly nervous. He took one of her hands and she let him hold it for a moment. “I want you to know that I always wonder what my life would have been like if I’d stayed with you. You know what I mean?”
He looked down at the ground, swinging her hand back and forth like a teenager. “Well, I don’t know that you would have been happy with me. My life took an interesting turn just after we broke up.”
Leading her by the hand, he pulled her away from the freezer and down towards the only operating cashier. Joy couldn’t help but note how gently he touched her. She didn’t feel nervous around him at all but rather trusted him immediately. Her nerves felt as if they had been smoothed down by a strong hand, allowing her to let Zak take control of the conversation without feeling as if he was bossing her around or threatening her. It was like learning to breathe again.
“So what was it that drove you away?”
“Joy…” Zak pulled her in for a hug as she pulled out her wallet to pay for the ice cream. “If I told you, I doubt you’d believe me.”
“What do you mean?”
He started to say something, but then stopped himself and just shook his head. Unsure what was h
appening, Joy handed her money over to the fuming cashier and didn’t say anything, just looked at Zak. There was something in his eyes, but she wasn’t sure how to define it. Who was this crazy guy she was looking at? The leader of a motorcycle gang, or something else?
The cashier, a scrawny teenager, bagged the ice cream and thrust it at Joy, glaring at Zak. “See? Your friend can pay for food and whatever. You and your lackies can do the same.”
He didn’t react, just stayed relaxed with his hands in his jean pockets. He blew a kiss to Joy and then chucked the cashier under the chin. “Bye ladies.” He went back into the depths of the store, leaving the both of them to watch him go back into the mayhem his crew was creating. Joy turned to leave, the doors only opening for her because the guard at the door reactivated the censor as she approached. Behind her, the door locked, holding in the gang and keeping the rest of the world out.
Joy drove back and focused on the scenery on the open road; the farms, the fruit stands, the small houses. She found herself unable to stop smiling as she remembered her romantic walk through the grocery store. The whole thing had felt like an elaborate set-up, as if she’d been on the set of a romantic movie and played the leading woman being seduced by the handsome young man.
Maybe one day they would go on a real date. Of course, she was technically still married and Aris could show up at any minute, and her father would string her up by her toes if she went out with a man who ran a motorcycle gang. Still… a date with Zak might just be worth risking her ex-husband’s wrath and the possibility of being disowned by her only remaining family member. It would be just perfect.
The next morning, Joy went out on a mission; she had the name and address of a small law office and she was shopping for a divorce. She drove to the small office, which turned out to be near the same grocery store where she’d last seen Zak. Her heart sped up for a moment; would she see him again? Today it was quiet; normal shoppers who felt no need to set up guards at the door streamed in and out of the automatic doors. The Law Offices of Bramble & Bramble sat quietly in the tall grass and when Joy walked in she was greeted by a receptionist who put her finger to her lips, asking her to respect the silence. She nodded her head in deference and then took a seat.