by Siobhan Muir
“But we have no proof,” Tawny said as they pulled into the Wolf’s Den parking lot.
“No. There’s nothing to tie Ms. Winthrop to the attacks. There’s just the scent of apricots and the obvious rivalry between Ms. Solaris and myself. If those thugs are from Los Angeles, that’s another finger pointing in Ms. Solaris’s direction.”
But Julianna’s gut told her there was more to this than they could see. Much as she’d like to hate Ms. Solaris, she didn’t really believe the woman would waste her energy on petty rivalries. Brenda didn’t need to do anything to garner favor in the pack.
“Ms. Winthrop is the only one who’d gain anything if both Ms. Solaris and I were disqualified for any reason. That’s why I’m reluctant to accuse Ms. Solaris. We don’t know who’s really involved.”
“I just hate the idea that she might get away with it and no one will know.”
“What’s better than me winning the post of Luna without underhanded actions?” Julianna asked as she got out of the car with her keys. “I’ve passed the tests despite the efforts made to make me fail. If Jeff chooses me, the game is over and all her manipulations will fall flat. We don’t have enough proof to do anything else.”
She paused and added, “Why don’t you follow me to my place and we’ll take my car?”
Tawny nodded curtly, her mind still on their discussion, but Julianna left her to think it through. After the attacks, her paranoid side scanned her car carefully, sniffing to make sure no one had tampered with it. She even got down on her knees and looked under it to see if anything on the undercarriage appeared odd. Everything looked, scented, and sounded fine, and she shook her head.
I’ve been watching too many cop dramas on TV.
The Camaro started with a comforting rumble, and she allowed its growling purr to relax her mind as she drove home. Her mind churned with the implications of Cameron’s intrigue, and she wondered why Ms. Winthrop would go to such lengths to win.
If you can’t beat ’em, kill ’em? Damn, Cameron, what did we ever do to you?
Tawny pulled up next to her in the driveway and secured her car. Her whole body wore pensiveness like a cloak. Julianna hoped she hadn’t ruined their morning.
“Are you okay?”
“Yes, I’m fine.” Tawny fastened her seatbelt. “I just can’t believe Cameron would do anything like this. I’ve known her for years, and she was always so friendly and kind.”
“I don’t know if I’m right, but it makes sense.” Julianna shrugged. “You can’t always judge a book by its cover.”
“Wow, you’re just full of those little sayings, aren’t you?” Tawny grinned wryly then froze in chagrin.
“I’m sorry, Ms. Julianna!”
Julianna blinked. “What? For what, Tawny?”
“For my smart aleck remark.” She blushed. “It was inappropriate.”
“It was? I thought you were teasing me. That’s what friends do, right?” Julianna eyed her curiously.
“But you’re alpha, even more so now that you’ve passed the tests.”
“So? Don’t you tease Jeff when you’re at home? He’s a big time Alpha.”
“Yes, but that’s different. He’s family.”
“Has it occurred to you that if Jeff chooses me, I’ll be family, too?”
Tawny looked stunned. “I hadn’t thought of that.”
“Yep, I’ll be your sister-in-law. Which basically gives you the right to tease me whenever you feel the need.”
Tawny still looked uncomfortable with the idea, and Julianna sighed. “In truth, I just need friends who are honest with me. I need loyal and trusted advisors who care about my welfare. I don’t need “yes men”. Can you be my friend, Tawny?”
“But—”
“Yes, I know, I’m alpha.” Julianna shook her head with a grimace. “I’m your Luna, your captain. But isn’t there room for friendship across the ranks?”
“Yes, of course. I’ve just never been friends with anyone but betas,” Tawny admitted.
“Not even omegas?”
“No.”
Julianna blew her breath out explosively in frustration. “I see.”
Silence filled the car. Julianna didn’t know where to go from there. She wanted Tawny’s friendship. Intellectually, she understood she already had Tawny’s respect and loyal service because she’d become an Alpha.
Yay me.
“Have you chosen your cadre yet?” Tawny asked, and Julianna glanced over at her.
“My what?”
“Your cadre. Your inner circle of advisors and confidantes to help you as Luna.”
“Oh, no, I hadn’t thought about it.” Unease crept up her spine. What the heck is a cadre? “How many can belong to the cadre, and do they have to all be in the same rank?”
“You can choose as many or as few as you wish, Julianna. They don’t all have to be of the same rank. They just can’t belong to someone else’s cadre.”
Julianna bit her lip. “Who all has cadres?”
“Just the Alphas. My dad has one. So does Jeff.” Tawny smiled. “Zach and Kyle are in Jeff’s cadre.”
“Since I’m female, does my cadre have to be all female as well?”
“No, but they should be packmembers that you know and trust.”
“That makes sense. Too bad Zach’s already spoken for.” Julianna sighed theatrically.
“What? Why?” Tawny looked startled.
“He’s a good man, and I know and trust him. And he likes you.” Julianna winked.
“What?”
“You haven’t noticed?” Julianna cocked her head. “He always watches you when you come into the bar, and he stands a little straighter when you’re there.”
“Really?” Tawny’s expression turned wistful.
“Oh, yeah. He’s pretty handsome when he smiles, isn’t he?”
“You noticed that?”
Julianna snorted. “It’s hard not to. He smiles so rarely it’s easy to keep track.”
“I know. I keep a list in a little notebook of the times I’ve seen him smile at me.”
“Ha! I knew it!” Julianna laughed. “To be honest, I would’ve done the same. Maybe you can coax a few more smiles out of him. You know, by batting your eyes at him or swaying your hips when you walk.”
“Shut up!”
Julianna laughed again, and the tension in the car broke. Tawny joked a little more, and Julianna hoped she’d be able to relax completely. Shopping seemed to help. Tourists visiting the large gold mines in the area filled the shops in Leland. Julianna wrinkled her nose at the overwhelming perfume scents on the women. How can they wear such stench? Tawny laughed at the men wearing shorts and knee socks with sandals, her unease gone.
They took their time choosing dresses, shoes, and jewelry for the party on Friday. Tawny seemed to enjoy herself in Julianna’s company away from the other members of the pack. She became jovial, making wry observations that had Julianna laughing. Jeff’s sister hid her sharp wit around her brother and father because of their higher rank. Tawny was very aware of her surroundings, and Julianna wondered what else she noticed while around the pack.
Thinking of the pack led Julianna to consider what Tawny had told her about the cadre as she pulled a black sheath dress onto her body. Not bad. She needed to choose women and men she could trust to be honest and loyal to her.
Someone who’d tell me I look terrible in this dress, for instance. She turned around in the mirror. I thought black is supposed to be slimming.
Who had been in her corner since the beginning? Only a few people came to mind, but Tawny Lightfoot stood at the top of the list. Julianna pulled the sheath dress off and hung it back on the hanger. She’d make an excellent First. Or is that Second? Well, whatever.
Julianna lifted a light gray sleeveless gown and unzipped the back, pulling it over her hips.
Who else? Sebrina, certainly, but I probably shouldn’t choose someone of higher rank than myself. Which leaves the other betas who aren’
t a part of someone else’s cadre. She reached behind her to pull the zipper up. Which beta would have the courage to tell me that gray makes me look dead? She grimaced and removed the dress.
By the time Julianna found a dress she liked, she’d made up a short mental list of male and female packmembers. She met Tawny outside the shop, and they piled their purchases in the back of the Camaro for the drive home.
“Did you find something you liked?”
“Yes.” Tawny grinned. “I can hardly wait to put it on.”
“And show it off to Zach, I imagine.”
She blushed. “Maybe.”
Julianna laughed.
“Hey, I thought about the cadre, and I wanted to ask you if you’d be willing to be in mine.” She waved her hand in the air. “If I’m chosen, that is.”
Tawny just stared at her.
“I know it’s short notice, and I hadn’t mentioned it before,” Julianna added hastily, “but I can’t think of anyone who’s backed me up more than you. You’re quick-witted, observant, and you know all the little quirks of the pack that I don’t. Do you think you’d consider it?”
Another silence filled the car. Julianna wondered if she’d said something wrong when Tawny didn’t respond immediately.
Maybe there’s some sort of formal pledge or something.
“You honor me, Mistress Julianna.”
“Oh, for Heaven’s sake, don’t go all formal on me, Tawny! We’re not even in Callowwood yet.”
Tawny grimaced. “Sorry. It’s just a big deal for me. It’s a great honor to be asked to be in the Luna’s cadre, and even more of an honor because the Luna is you.”
“So, is that a yes?”
“Yes.”
Julianna sighed in relief. “Thank the Goddess.”
Tawny laughed. “You thought I’d refuse?”
“You had me worried you might.”
“I’m not that stupid!”
The tension bled away as they drove back to town. Tawny shared funny anecdotes about the pack and her friends in it as if she no longer worried about rank. Julianna enjoyed the camaraderie with Jeff’s sister, feeling confident about being Luna for the first time since the party.
When they reached Julianna’s home, Tawny quickly excused herself. Julianna watched her leave as excitement zinged through her. Tawny’s acceptance gave Julianna the courage to choose others. She gathered her purchases and hauled them up to her apartment, humming.
She spent the rest of her evening deciding whom to ask, weighing the pros and cons of each. She wrangled her courage and took a few deep breaths before she picked up her phone. She suspected Brenda and Cameron already had selected their cadres in case they should win. They’d been surrounded by a select few packmembers in the few times she’d seen them in town.
Julianna left messages for most of the people she’d selected, hoping she didn’t sound too desperate. Had anyone ever turned down a space in an Alpha’s cadre? Julianna’s confidence increased when two of her choices happily accepted her invitation. One squealed so loudly she had to hold the handset away from her head for long seconds.
By the time she crawled into bed, three others beside Tawny had agreed to be in her cadre if Jeff chose her as his Luna. Julianna burrowed under the covers on her bed and sighed with satisfaction. She only wished Jeff could have crawled in beside her.
She sighed again. Goddess, let it be soon.
* * * *
By Thursday afternoon, Julianna was ready to bribe someone to make time go faster. The morning had been fruitful. The last of the packmembers she hadn’t talked to the night before agreed to join her cadre and she felt on top of the world.
That had quickly diminished as the day wore on with nothing on her schedule until the following evening. She’d never had so much time off, and she searched for things to do to keep her from looking at the clock every five minutes.
She’d settled on scrubbing the grease off of her stovetop when someone knocked on her door. Julianna removed her rubber gloves and strode into her living room, pausing as she looked at the door. Gut instinct warned her to be careful, and she inhaled deeply.
Emotional scents of fear, sorrow, and regret flowed around the edges of the door, and a flicker of unease shot through her body. Frowning, she stepped up to the door and opened it slowly. Sebrina stood waiting nervously outside with her hands knotted in her skirt until the knuckles showed white. Julianna had never seen the Paiute woman look so uncomfortable.
“Hello, Sebrina.” Julianna eyed her carefully. “Are you all right?”
“I must speak with you, daughter.” The other woman’s voice rasped in the silence.
“All right. Won’t you come in for some tea?”
Sebrina stared at Julianna for a long, solemn moment then nodded and stepped across the threshold. She glanced around the small living room, but she didn’t seem to see anything that interested her as she shuffled into the kitchenette to stand beside the table.
“Please, sit down.” Julianna pulled out a chair. “You look worried, Sebrina. Is everything all right?” She took her time preparing a teaball while the kettle boiled, hoping the horrible tension in the kitchen would fade a little.
“I must tell you a story, daughter, before tomorrow night, so you understand who you are,” Sebrina whispered. The stench of miserable fear filled the small space.
“Okay.” Julianna sat down across the table. “What story?”
Sebrina studied Julianna’s face, saying nothing, her expression stoic. Julianna felt like she’d jump out of her skin. Silence stretched between them, and the tension increased to a screaming pitch. When the teakettle began to whistle, Julianna jumped, scrambling to fill her teapot with the steaming water. She tried to keep her unease from shaking her entirely, but Sebrina’s continued silence ate at her calm.
“Tea?” Julianna presented Sebrina a mug.
The Paiute woman nodded and took the cup, wrapping her hands around it as if she felt cold.
“Many years ago, now,” Sebrina said as Julianna sat down, “I met a man who made my heart shiver. He was tall, strong, and handsome, with midnight black hair and blue, blue eyes. He looked at me like I was the most beautiful woman in the world, and though he was younger than me, he seemed oblivious to the markings of age on my body. He wasn’t so young by human standards, but his body was strong and unbroken, and I wasn’t as I am now.”
She rubbed the wrinkles on her hands meditatively.
“At that time, Indians were considered less than whites in this country, and this man wasn’t supposed to be interested in females like me.” Sebrina followed the grain of the wood in Julianna’s table with her fingers. “But he’d been teaching at a reservation school when I visited family who lived nearby. When I saw him, he captivated me with his beauty and strength, even if he seemed old in human terms.”
Julianna could relate. “How old was he?”
“I think he’d reached his sixties.”
“Wow.”
“Yes, it seems old to one as young as you, but there was nothing weak or feeble about this man. He caught my eye one day while I was walking through town. He offered to buy me a meal, and I couldn’t say no. He began to court me in a very old-fashioned way. He called at my family’s house and offered gifts to my relatives in honor of their hospitality.”
A small smile fluttered across Sebrina’s lips, but the sadness thickened.
“He did this for over a year, and I was flattered and enthralled with his tenacity and efforts. How could such a beautiful male want me, as old as I was? But after his courtship, he asked me to become his wife, and I could only agree because I knew him to be my True Mate, however strange it seemed for a Moon Singer to mate with a human.
“We married a month later, and we celebrated in the best way.” Sebrina’s smile broadened. “He was as hearty and strong as I always knew he’d be, and I rejoiced to be his wife.”
Despite this happy news, Sebrina’s face slid back into solemnity. Julianna�
�s congratulations died in her throat.
“Not everyone felt that way about our mating. Several humans in this town had no love for the Indians, and to them, I was not a person, not a Moon Singer, not even a woman. I was an Indian and no white man should pollute the race with a mongrel child from a squaw.”
Julianna’s anger kindled as Sebrina paused to sip her tea as if her throat had dried. Old prejudices infuriated her, but Sebrina’s memories couldn’t be changed.
“One night when I visited family, those humans took my husband and beat him nearly to death then left him in our small house and set it afire. He burned to death before I could get to him. I felt like I’d burned along with him, and only my family kept me out of the flames. I felt lost without him.”
Julianna blinked back tears as Sebrina’s grief crystallized before her. Dear Goddess, how would it feel to lose Jeff? She couldn’t even imagine.
“I’m so sorry, Sebrina.”
Sebrina seemed to come back to herself out of the mists of time and waved her hand dismissively. “It was long ago.” Again her face took on the stoic expression Julianna had learned meant she was uncomfortable with a topic. “But he left a piece of himself behind with me.”
Julianna frowned a little when Sebrina didn’t go on.
“What?”
“I realized I was pregnant.”
Julianna’s blood froze, and dread hit her gut.
“Without my husband, I felt so alone and lost. A Moon Singer surrounded by humans who cared not for our ways.” Sebrina gripped her mug like a lifeline. “I left that town and moved to the land around Callowwood to find a place to settle where no one knew me. The baby came when it should, but not as I expected.”
Sadness suffused her face, and she took a deep breath to continue. “The baby was human. Such a thing had never happened among our people in my experience, despite the Stories. I thought the baby would be a Moon Singer and born in its natural form. When it came out human, I panicked and left it on the front steps of a human temple of worship in Leland.” Now she looked down at her hands around her mug as if there was an interesting detail she’d missed.
“I left the baby there and didn’t look back. I thought it was best for the child.”