A Baby on the Ranch

by Stella Bagwell

  “Oh, honey, I didn’t want you to worry. But—” He stopped and grinned at her, a grin that was decidedly wicked. “I’m sure glad to know you care that much about me.”

  As soon as his words were out, Katherine’s lips parted with sudden dawning. Darn it, what had she been thinking? She might as well have been telling the man she’d fallen in love with him. And she hadn’t! She wasn’t about to expose herself or her little boy to that much pain.

  “I didn’t say…I do care, but not in the way you’re thinking,” she said as she attempted to twist out of his arms.

  Lonnie tightened his hold on her back and at the same time bent his head toward hers. “Really?” he countered softly. “I think you do care. And I think right now you’re wanting to kiss me, just as much as I want to kiss you.”

  How could she deny his suggestion when all day she’d longed, prayed for the chance to see him, touch him again.

  “I—oh, yes, Lonnie.” She breathed the concession as she tilted her face up to his.

  With a gravelly growl, he brought his lips down over hers, and for a moment Katherine was stunned motionless as the incredible taste of him swept through her senses like a strong, wild wind. She wanted this man! She’d wanted him since the first time he’d walked into her apartment.

  When he felt her arms sliding up around her neck, when he felt her mouth opening, inviting him for more, Lonnie eased his head back and looked into her green eyes. “I’m sorry I couldn’t let you know sooner that I was okay and all had ended well. But then maybe I wouldn’t have gotten this sort of greeting from you. And right now, this is all that matters.”

  This was a kiss that utterly consumed her body and her mind. As his lips rocked back and forth over hers, heat began to soar through her body, collect in her breasts, her belly and loins.

  The urge to have her body next to his had her squirming closer, sliding her hands to the middle of his chest and working the buttons loose on his shirt.

  When she slipped her hands inside and flattened them against his heated skin, he eased his lips away from hers and sucked in a sharp breath.

  “We, uh, we need to get out of the doorway,” he whispered.

  Before the interruption of the kiss could cool her back to sanity, he bent and picked her up in his arms. She clung to his shoulders until he levered her down in an armchair angled to one side of the fireplace. Then, resting on his knees in front of her, he clasped her face between his palms and lowered his mouth back to hers.

  Moaning deep in her throat, Katherine arched upward in the chair, circled her arms around his waist and tugged him toward her. The weight of his body smashed her backward against the cushion, but she didn’t mind the faint crimp in her neck or the fact that she was imprisoned between him and the chair. As long as he was touching her, kissing her that was all she cared about.

  “Katherine,” he murmured against her throat. “Sweet Katherine. I want to make love to you. I’ve wanted that from the very first time I met you.”

  She pushed against his shoulders. “But I was pregnant then!” she exclaimed.

  He grinned ruefully. “I can’t help that. You were beautiful and sexy. Just as you are now.”

  To prove his point, he lifted the hem of her sweater and exposed her plump little belly.

  Katherine sucked in a sharp breath as he lowered his head and pressed several kisses around her navel, then worked his way up the middle of her midriff. Sliding his fingers across her back, he fumbled with the catch on her bra until the two pieces of fabric fell apart and he could push the garment up and over her breasts.

  As soon as they were exposed to his sight, Lonnie cupped the precious weight of them in his hands. They were lush and full, the nipples moist and engorged. He tasted their sweetness until he felt her fingers raking against his scalp, holding him to her with a fierceness that echoed the throbbing ache of his manhood.

  His fingers found the zipper at the front of her pants, and he tugged it downward until he could slip his whole hand inside. As his palm cupped the mound of her femininity, his lips traveled back to hers, where he suckled and bit and coaxed her tongue to slip inside his mouth.

  Slowly his fingers traveled downward until they reached the juncture of her thighs and the moist folds of her womanhood. As he gently probed and teased, Katherine felt the heat of wanting him building, magnifying until she thought she would explode.

  Tearing her lips from his, she whimpered, “Lonnie…we…I can’t…”

  “Shh,” he whispered urgently against her throat, “I know you can’t make love yet. Just let me pleasure you. Let me do that much for you.”

  Katherine couldn’t argue with him. She wanted him, needed him too much to move from his embrace.

  “Lonnie, Lonnie,” she murmured against his lips. “I want you so!”

  “I know, honey. I’m feeling just what you’re feeling.”

  Moaning, she opened her lips over his. Immediately he took the initiative, plundering her lips with his and exploring the warm, moist cavern of her mouth with his tongue. At the same time, his fingers slipped inside her and began to move in a slow, seductive rhythm.

  Katherine tried not to respond, tried to hold on to the tiny scrap of sanity left in her senses, but she was hungry with desire and he was feeding her with a sweetness, a gentleness she’d never experienced before. In only a matter of moments she felt a spring inside her growing tighter and tighter until finally the incredible tension snapped and she split into a million golden pieces.

  “Oh! Ohh! Lonnie!” Jerking straight up in the chair, she buried her face in his shoulder and shuddered with an ecstasy that was almost too much to bear.

  Chapter Twelve

  Several moments passed before Katherine’s senses began working again, and when they did she realized Lonnie was murmuring her name over and over and his hands were gliding through her hair, stroking her back.

  Dear heaven, what had she done? She’d let him make love to her in such an intimate way!

  The shock of her wanton response filled her face with fiery embarrassment. With a self-deprecating groan she pushed against his shoulders and scrambled from the armchair.

  By the time Lonnie caught up with her, she was in the bedroom sitting on the side of the bed, her head bent, her face covered with both hands.

  “Katherine?”

  When she didn’t respond, he walked quietly into the room and took a seat beside her.

  Laying a hand on her knee, he asked, “Katherine? Do you hate me that much?”

  His question was so absurd it startled her, and she looked up at him with wide, teary eyes.

  “I could never hate you. Never,” she whispered emphatically.

  Clearly bewildered by her behavior, his blue eyes scanned her troubled face. “Then why did you run from me like that? Are you ashamed of what we just did? Do you regret letting me touch you?”

  No! Yes! Oh, how could she explain, she wondered frantically. How could she tell him that what she’d just experienced with him was so incredible it frightened her.

  “No,” she answered bluntly. “I don’t regret it. I—” She paused and blinked as moisture began to build in her eyes. “I’m just a little overwhelmed, that’s all. You see, I’ve never felt that way with any man before. Not even David’s father. And I guess—-” Taking a deep, ragged breath, she glanced away from him. “I guess it scares me, Lonnie. It scares me a whole lot.”

  Leaning closer, he pushed the dark, tangled hair away from her cheeks, then pressed his lips against her temple. “There’s nothing to be afraid of, Katherine. I’m not going to hurt you. I could never hurt you.”

  She sucked in another shaky breath and tried to ignore the urge to bury her face against his chest. If she was ever going to be strong, she had to be iron willed now. Otherwise, her heart would have her agreeing to anything this man proposed.

  “I’ve been told that before,” she said softly.

  Silent seconds ticked by and then he said in a lightly accusing
voice, “You think I’m just spouting words.”

  Her face jerked around to his and she looked at him with a pained expression. “No! I’m—no, I don’t think you’d lie to me. And I don’t think you’d ever deliberately set out to hurt me, but…things happen. People change.”

  A groan of frustration slipped past his lips. “Look, Katherine, I’ll admit that a few minutes ago, I got carried away and so did you. What happened between us wasn’t something I’d planned!”

  “I didn’t say it was,” she countered swiftly. Shoving her hair back from her forehead, she jumped to her feet and began to pace back and forth in front of him. “Lonnie, I’m sorry. I can see that I’m not explaining myself very well. But I don’t know how to explain what I’m feeling—except that I’m very afraid. Not of you. But of myself. And of taking steps that I’m just not ready to take. Do you understand?”

  Reaching out, he snagged one of her hands and pulled her toward him. She stumbled awkwardly forward until she was standing between his parted legs and his hands were tightly clenched at the sides of her waist.

  “Of course I understand,” he said roughly. “Do you think I’ve forgotten what it’s like to be deceived and fooled into thinking you’re loved and then to be abandoned like some unwanted dog with the mange? I didn’t just have that happen to me with Ginger. I had it happen when I was only seven years old! My own mother left me! And to this day she’s never come back. You think living through something like that makes a man brave? Do you think I want to hold my heart out and say, Here it is, see if you can break it again?”

  Hanging her head, she swallowed against the pain squeezing around her heart. This was wrong, she thought miserably, all wrong. Two scarred people couldn’t merge to make one strong, sensible link.

  To him she mumbled, “I know that you’ve been hurt, Lonnie. And I hate that. I wish none of it had ever happened to you. But—” she lifted her head and met his solemn gaze “—I’m not so sure you’re any more ready for a relationship than I am.”

  He said flatly, “You don’t know what I’m ready for.”

  Feeling cornered and desperate, she said in a rush, “I need to get back to Fort Worth. I’ve stayed here too long.”

  Stunned, he stared at her. “Too long?” he repeated with disbelief. “You’ve only been here a week!”

  She started to pull away, but he wouldn’t allow it, so she stood there between his legs and tried not to look at his strong, broad shoulders, the tanned rugged features of his face, the dark-blue depths of his eyes.

  “I realize it’s only been a week. But can’t you see what’s happening between us? We’re—well, neither of us is thinking straight. And, if I stay here longer—”

  “I’m thinking very straight,” he interrupted. “Today a friend wanted to shoot himself and anyone who got in his path. And you know why?”

  Katherine shook her head. “You said he was in financial trouble.”

  “That started the problem. But Eddie’s real concern was his wife and children. He was so afraid of losing them that he snapped.”

  “How did you find this out? He talked to you?”

  Lonnie nodded soberly. “And you know, Katherine, as he talked, I kept thinking, I can relate to this guy. I understood what he was thinking and feeling and why he was so desperate. I realized how devastated I would be if you left.”

  The words stunned her, and for long moments she couldn’t speak. Finally she shook her head and stuttered, “Lonnie…don’t. I’m not sure I want to hear this.”

  His hands tugged her closer until her belly was pressed against his chest and his head was bent backward so that he could see her face. “I love you, Katherine. I love you and David both. Maybe that doesn’t mean much to you. But I’m hoping it does. I’m hoping you’ll stay here and let the three of us be a family.”

  He loved her! This wonderful man loved her!

  A part of Katherine wanted to shout with a joy she’d never felt before, but the sensible part of her was already beginning to shed a pool of silent tears. Maybe Lonnie did love her right at this moment, she rationalized. Maybe he’d love her for the next two weeks or even two years. But eventually his feelings would wither away. In due course, he’d realize she wasn’t the woman he’d believed her to be and then he’d be gone, just like Walt. There had to be some sort of flaw in her, she thought, something that made the men in her life decide she wasn’t worth the effort. Heck, even Noah Rider hadn’t cared enough to admit that he was her father, much less stick around to be one to her. What could possibly make her believe Lonnie would be any different?

  Bringing her hands to his face, she cupped his strong jaw in her palms. “I’m not convinced it’s love you feel for me, Lonnie. But whatever it is, I’m very flattered that you care. And I’m very beholden to you for all you’ve done: delivering the baby, taking care of us both, opening your home to us. I’ll never forget any of it—or you.”

  His hands loosened their grip and began to slide gently up and down her rib cage. I hear a but in there, Katherine. Why?”

  A ragged sigh slipped from her throat. Then, closing her eyes, she pulled away from his grasp and crossed the room. As she stared unseeingly out the darkened window, she said, “I’m just not ready for any of this, Lonnie. I’m not sure that I ever will be.”

  The mattress creaked as he rose from his seat. As he walked up behind her, Katherine braced herself for his touch. But the feel of his strong hands never came. Instead, his low, steady voice brushed close to her ear.

  “Why, Katherine? Because you’re terrified that I’ll dump you? Are you going to turn down something good because you can’t see past your fear?”

  Swallowing, she wondered how long she would miss this man, how long would she carry this empty hole around in her heart? “I don’t want to be this way, Lonnie.”

  “And I don’t want you to go. Tell me you’re not going—at least not for the next few days.”

  Her throat was aching with tears. Deep, raw emotions gripped her until she thought she was going to die from it.

  “I can’t make promises,” she whispered huskily.

  He cleared his throat and then fell silent for long moments. Katherine’s heart pounded with dread and pain as she waited for him to berate her, to tell her she was heartless.

  But those words never came, instead he said, “Katherine, you’re forgetting you came out here to think about the Ketchums, to find out more about them. You haven’t done that yet. We haven’t even discussed them or the possibility of you being Amelia’s daughter.”

  The Ketchums. She couldn’t belong to that family any more than she could belong to Lonnie. It wasn’t meant for her to belong to anyone!

  “I—other things happened. The Ketchums aren’t important now. I have a son to care for and—” She stopped in midsentence as David’s cry sounded from the living room. “Excuse me, I’d better go see about him.”

  Katherine slept poorly that night and not just because David was fussing with colic. Even when the baby slept, she was rolling and tumbling in the bed, her mind consumed with Lonnie and the sad conclusion that she had to leave the ranch. By the time morning arrived, she woke groggy and drained.

  After several cups of coffee, she stepped into the shower with the firm decision that she couldn’t stay here on the Rafter C any longer. Her reckless behavior last night proved that she couldn’t risk spending another day, even another hour, in Lonnie’s presence.

  By midmorning, she’d called the bus station for the schedule that would take her all the way back to Fort Worth. After that she’d managed to pack all of her and David’s things and load them into Lonnie’s old ranch truck, a ’68 Ford that had once been black but was now faded to a chalky gray. It was a standard shift and she wasn’t certain that she could find the gears, but she was going to do her damnedest to drive the thing. There was no way she was going to call Lonnie and ask him to drive her to the bus station. Not only would he argue against her leaving, she just couldn’t bear saying
goodbye face-to-face. It would tear her heart out.

  Katherine had been so focused on packing during the morning that she didn’t find the note Lonnie had left on the coffee table until she was almost ready to leave the house. Actually, it was more than a note; it was a large manila envelope with her name scrawled across the front.

  Picking it up, she eased down on the couch next to David’s bassinet. The baby had been awake for the last fifteen or twenty minutes and so far, in spite of jostling him around, he’d been quiet and content. Hopefully his bout with colic was over and he wouldn’t set up a big howl on the bus. Not everyone could deal with a crying baby.

  Oh well, if worse came to worst, she’d get off the bus at the nearest town available and call Althea to come get her. The woman was the one friend Katherine could call on in good times or bad.

  “We’re going to be on our way pretty soon, my little darling.” She planted a soft kiss on David’s forehead, then gazed sadly around the room. “This is where you were born,” she said to the baby. “And you’re probably thinking this is home. And I’m sure you’re thinking that big guy that takes you in his arms and rocks you to sleep is your daddy. But he isn’t, honey. We’ve got to make our own home back in Fort Worth.”

  The baby was enthralled by his mother’s voice. Still and quiet, his eyes tried to focus on her face. But as soon as her last words died away, he puckered his bow-shaped lips and wailed loudly.

  With a loving groan, Katherine lifted him from the basket and cradled him in her arms. Swaying him gently, she sang him a little tune about rainbows and blue skies and how every day of his life was going to be a sunny day. He soon fell asleep, and she placed him gently back into the rattan basket.

  Once she’d finished carefully covering him with a blanket, she turned her attention to the envelope on her lap. Opening it, she turned it upside down on the cushion next to her. Two smaller envelopes fell out, a folded newspaper clipping, along with a glossy snapshot, and one sheet of lined paper creased in the middle.