Judged By You (Judge Me Series)

by Patricia Voois

  “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean for that to sound the way it did Damon. You do look like a lawyer I guess. I don’t know. I’m sorry. I should go.” Embarrassed I started to rise off the stool.

  He quickly placed his hands on my knee “sit.” He instructed.

  I did as he asked and looked away. This meeting was not going as expected. What was I expecting come to think of it? There was no way he was interested in me for starters, and second, I don’t think I was in my right mind.

  “How long have you been studying?” He asked as he took his hands off me and placed them back in his lap.

  I coiled my fingers around the tall glass housing the liquid and took a sip before answering.

  “I’m in my second year. I took some time off, and I’m primarily starting again, personal circumstances.” I have no idea why I even said that. Maybe I have had too much to drink tonight. I was unable to control the words flying out of my mouth.

  “If you ever need any help, I’m always here. I have been a lawyer for seven years. My mother and father are both lawyers also.”

  “So you followed in their footsteps? How lovely.”

  “Yes I did follow. One of us kids had to. You are only young Savannah; take your time, live a little. I wish I did before jumping into it all.” Damon said.

  “How old are you if you don’t mind me asking.”

  “I’m thirty two in a few months. You can ask me anything. This is how two people generally get to know each other Savannah.” That evil smile of his had returned, and it made my knees went weak.

  The look in his eyes said so much more than a conversation. I felt it, and I’m sure he did too. Just like this morning. I may not have sex every day, but I know. The tension in here was thick, and I needed to get out of here. I figured the quicker I drank, the quicker this conversation would be over. I picked up my glass and starting drinking. Before I had the opportunity to down the whole drink, Damon grabbed the glass and moved it away from me.

  “What are you doing? I was drinking that!” I almost yelled at him like a child.

  “I know what you’re doing Savannah. You’re hoping to finish your drink so you can leave. As you did say, only one drink.” He said with a full smile.

  “It’s getting late. I actually should be going soon anyway. I have to be up early for a shift at the cafe.” I was now making excuses. I didn’t have to be at work until two in the afternoon.

  “It’s only ten thirty, and you will be home in time. All I want is some time to talk to you.”

  “Why?” There, I go again I thought.

  “Do I need a reason to want to get to know you better? You have fallen for me twice today. Is that not a sign enough that you should at least have a conversation with me?” Damon said whist moving around behind the bar to get another drink.

  “So tell me about yourself than.” I asked, turning to look at his perfect built body. He looked so damn sexy in that suit. And that smile, oh my. That smile was enough to make me orgasm.

  “Nothing much to tell really, I’m more interested in you Savannah. Tell me about you. And then maybe, I will tell you about me. Depending on how much you tell me about you.” He handed me another drink and rounded the bar to sit back on the stool in front of me.

  “Well I am twenty five. I’m going to be a lawyer one day. I work at a cafe to make ends meet, I hate fishing, and I love cars. That’s all I’m saying.” That’s all I wanted him to know for now. How do you start with saying your parents died six years ago and your brothers in jail. And truth be told, I don’t have to work at the cafe, I have more than enough inheritance, but I chose not to live off that. I still haven’t come to terms with that money, I don’t know if I ever will.

  “Is that all you are going to tell me?”

  “Yes that is all.” I stood and picked up my glass. I finished it in a mouthful and placed the glass on the table.

  “It’s very gratifying to meet you Damon O’Conner. I have to go, really. Thank you for the conversation. Enjoy your night.” I said as I turned on my heel to get the hell out of there.

  Before I reached the door, Damon grabbed my hand, and spun me to face him.

  “Why are you running from me?” Damon asked with confusion

  “Look, I have had a drink with you. I know your name you know mine. There is no reason to continue this conversation. I will never see you again, and you will never see me again. Just leave it please.” Emotions pick the worst times to come out of hiding. I felt like I was going to cry. For what reason was beyond me.

  “Maybe I want to see you again. Please have dinner with me Monday night?” He looked lost when I searched his face to try and work out what the hell he was doing.

  “I’m busy sorry.” I said trying to free my wrist from his hold.

  “Tuesday night?” I don’t think he is going to give up if I don’t agree.

  “Okay, Tuesday night maybe. I will ring you, or you ring me or something.” I rummaged through my purse to find a pen, and something I could write his number down on. I couldn’t believe I was going to give him my number and take his in return. What the hell was I thinking? Like seriously, this was crazy and awkward.

  “Thank you. You won’t regret it.” He said with a smile. Automatically I was regretting it. But I took down his number, and he took mine. He kissed the back of my hand before releasing it and walking me the short distance to the door.

  “Good night Savannah.” He said leaning his handsome face to the side with a smile on those lips.

  “Good night Damon.” I said with attitude as I walked down the hall. What was I going to tell Nicole?

  I re-joined the party in the corner. Derek and Angel were laughing at something undeniably funny on the TV screen, and Stan was in conversation with Nicole. Nicole looked at me when I returned and started laughing.

  “What is so funny?” I asked with slight irritation in my voice.

  “You look like a wreck Sav. Tell me all about it at home; we are all ready to go. What about you?” She asked me slurring her words a little.

  “Let’s go, I need a shower and to get out of this bloody dress, and my boots.” I could feel the effects of alcohol in my blood stream.

  It was silent on the ride home. It was only a few blocks from home, but Stan insisted on driving us here. Derek and Angel took a taxi as they were going across town to her place.

  When we arrived home Nicole was carried in by Stan, she had passed out in the car. Stan immediately took her to her room and put her to bed. I slowly ascended up the stairs to my room. I sat on the edge of the bed and took my boots off. I lay back on the bed and closed my eyes. All I could see was his face. I must have been tired because I slept that night, for the first time, in a real long time.

  ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

  I woke on Saturday just before midday. I had the worst taste in my mouth, a coffee was needed ASAP……. And a good shower. I made my way down stairs to see if Nicole was awake, I needed her to undo my dress finally. We both passed out last night, which resulted in me sleeping in my dress. I couldn’t take it off, so I slept it in, and I have to say I won’t be doing that again. Nicole was at the table eating cereal.

  “Good morning sunshine.” She almost yelled.

  “Morning, it’s too early to shout. Please drop your voice.” I said holding my head.

  “So how did it go with this mysterious man of yours? Turn around and let me loosen you.” Nicole said whilst standing up to undo my corset.

  “Firstly, he’s not MY man, and it went fine I think.” I paused to think about how it actually went.

  “Come on Savannah Marie James. Tell me how it went.” Nicole was now standing in front of me with a look of impatience.

  “We are going out to dinner on Tuesday. I have no idea why I agreed to it though. He’s out of my league. You will see him and understand what I mean Nic. I just don’t know what I am doing.”

  The fact that I had given him my number, and I had his alarmed me. The thought to change my
number popped into my head already. Surely it’s not an outrageous idea to change a number to avoid contact right?

  “I’m glad you’re going on a date Sav, it will be great you will see. But right now I am going to the gym. Care to join before work?”

  “I don’t have the energy or patience to go to the gym, I’m going to shower and get some research done before my shift. But you enjoy yourself Nicole.” I said walking back up the stairs to my room.

  I decided I would study to take my mind off what was going on in my life. I needed to visit Stephen tomorrow to see how he was going. I see him every Sunday. It’s only for an hour, but it’s worth it. He never has much to say to me, but given that there isn’t anything to do in there, I take that as my reason.

  By the time I left the house to go to work, I was feeling more awake and less ill. I had done another two thousand words on my assignment which was due in a week. It had to be fifteen thousand words all together, and I just couldn’t get my mind into it. I worked at the cafe near college. It was an unusually busy place, and I loved the atmosphere around it.

  I was always busy and didn’t have time to think about anything but the task at hand. It was Saturday afternoon, so the place was flat out. We had a line up a mile long at the counter for people wanting to place orders. All the college teachers and students came here when they needed a break from study or teaching. It wasn’t uncommon to run into a teacher or two whilst doing a shift. But also the general public enjoyed our impressive coffee.

  We were nominated for the best coffee in our district. It was rich and strong in taste. I weaved in and out of the tables, and the kitchen area to make drops to the customers. Before I knew it, it was ten and time for my shift to finish. I was supposed to leave at eight, but the overtime never went astray. I was trying to pay off college loans and live comfortably. I didn’t have house payments as I lived in my parents’ house, but I had to maintain it, and it did require some renovations.

  Stephen promised to help fix the house when he got out, and I would hold him to that. I arrived home with no Nicole in sight. She usually stayed at Stan’s on the weekends which was good because being without each other was good for one’s relationship surely. I went straight to my room and showered. When I got out I noticed that I had a text;

  Good afternoon hope you slept well. Really looking forward to our date Tuesday, D.

  Through my nerves and sudden sickness, I was half looking forward to it as well. The feeling like I was a fifteen year old school girl came to mind. I suddenly wished Nicole was here to tell me what to do. Do I respond via message or do I ring him? “I’m on my own this time.” I said out loud hoping an answer would come to me. Would I be desperate if I replied or called? I quickly decided to leave it until tomorrow and see how it all looked then. I was shattered from my night at work and just wanted to sleep. I went to the kitchen, made a sandwich and went back to my room to get a little more study in before bed.

  I slept best when I was right at that point where I couldn’t keep my eyes open anymore. I had spent two years on medication to help me sleep after my parents passing. I slowly weaned myself of it because after that amount of time I could not function, and I always wanted to sleep. I never wanted to do anything, which was half the reason I never got out to meet new people or date. I quickly finished my sandwich and jumped into bed. I fell asleep with visions of Mr Mysterious.

  ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

  I woke on Sunday morning feeling refreshed and ready to take on the day. I dressed and headed down to make my morning’s worth of caffeine. Looking out the window, I saw the barn. Inside was dad’s elation, the dodge. I smiled remembering all the nights sitting at the dinner table looking at his empty chair and my mother explaining he was with his other love, his car. That thought made me laugh. At that moment, I decided I would take the old girl for a ride when I visited Stephen. It had been over a month since I had taken it out for a drive so today would be perfect. I had my caffeine fix for the morning, and gathered my bag before heading for the shed. I opened the door of the barn and immediately felt my heart leap.

  The look and feel of the Dodge had that effect on me, my pulse quickened as I opened the door and sat on the plush leather seat. I gripped the wheel than closed my eyes. I inhaled the smell of the leather cleaner and car wax, I missed that smell. I turned it over and listened to the motor roar to life. I headed out the barn door, applied the throttle and cruised down the road; I was headed for the prison which was about twenty miles away. I had to admit I was a bit of a wild child when it came to cars.

  I guess growing up in the barn with dad and helping him work on his classics did that to a girl. He would take me to the NASCAR every change he got too. I always ran off and admire the Chevy’s. I was always a sucker for a Chevrolet. Mark Kenseth took out the win for last weekend’s race. I was lucky enough to catch the end of the race once I got home from visiting Stephen.

  For twenty, miles, I sang out loud and had flashbacks of my childhood. I saw the prison in view, I got that butterfly feeling thinking about seeing Stephen again. I pulled into the prison’s car lot, got out and locked the car. I hoped no one would steal it, you can never trust anyone these days. It would break my heart if anyone stole my car; it holds so much meaning to me.

  I entered the prison and went through the five lots of security. I hated having to empty my bag, so I chose to leave that in the car, so all I had was my keys. I went through the metal detector and picked up my keys at the end. Once I walked through the last set of doors I saw Stephen waiting at one of the visiting tables.

  “Hey sis!” He stood and hugged me, wrapping me in his arms tight.

  “Hey brother, how are you?” He released me to nod.

  I held him at arm’s length to examine his slender frame. He was always a little skinny even though he used to eat like a horse. He had dark brown hair, with hazel eyes, and a beard. It made him look so much older than twenty eight. I was always worried that he would be beat up or killed in here. He had made friends If you would call them friends that. But he assured me some time ago that he would be looked out for. I knew Cameron had something to do with it.

  As much as I hated him, I knew he always looked out for my brother in one way or another. I never asked what he had to do to get that sort of assurance from criminals because I never thought of him as one of them. The circumstances behind why he was there, had a lot to do with Stephen being overly protective of his friends, and not giving regard for his family.

  “How’s life out of these walls Sav?” He asked taking a seat.

  “You know, studying, working. Same old shit different day. I went and saw mum and dad Friday. Told them that you would be out soon, and how I would keep you inline.” I said with a short laugh.

  “Why do you insist on going to the grave every year Savannah? You need to grow up and let it go, no wonder you’re unhappy.” Stephen sat on the chair opposite to me and snarled.

  “Why do you insist on being an asshole and not caring?” I snarled bit at him.

  “Look I don’t want to argue with you Savannah, but please no more talk about this. Tell me what else you have been doing in the outside world.” He remarked.

  “I bought the Dodge here, thought I would open her up, maybe take her for a bath. She has been sitting in the barn for a month now gathering dust. Dad would be so disappointed.” I sat in horror as my brother start laughing at me.

  “You talk about that car as if it’s a person,” he chuckled. “But it’s adorable.”

  I laughed a little when I realised how right he was. I probably sounded stupid. At least I had him laughing.

  “Oh, I have a date Tuesday. Long story, but you know me.” I said looking over to see an older woman crying as her son walked away from her table.

  “A date hey. That’s scary. Obviously you haven’t told him how messed up your life is, any man would run Sav,” And now I knew he was just being mean. “Cameron messed up you know that right?”

  “Scre
w you Stephen, you’re a prick when you want to be. Obviously I haven’t told him that you’re in here, I haven’t told him much at all. It’s just a date. And thanks for your encouragement and support Brother,” I stood to leave; I wasn’t going to be his punching bag when he was in this mood. “As for Cameron, I don’t want to hear his name again.”

  “Stop, I’m sorry Sav. I’m just tired; it’s been one of those mornings you know.” Stephen looked every bit what he just said.

  “I have to go anyway. I have things to do when I get home. And maybe take the Harley for a burn this afternoon. It was good to see you Stephen, like every time I visit.” I could feel the tears burning my eyes. This was so hard, the saying good bye. This is not what I wanted for him. He was supposed to be setting the example, and taking care of me. Not me coming to visit him for twenty minutes once a week.

  “Thanks for coming again. I hope your date goes well. Tell him your brother will be onto him if he hurts you. But don’t tell him I’m in prison, he would defiantly run.” Stephen hugged me tight and kissed my cheek.

  “I love you Stephen, stay safe and please behave.” I missed him so much.

  “Yeah you too, see you next week yeah?” He said releasing me and turning. I thought I could see tears in his eyes but wasn’t sure.

  I watched him walk away before security grabbed him and escorted him down the hall. I watched until I could no longer see the back of his head. I was patiently waiting for the next few months to pass. I needed him out and safe, where I could keep an eye on him and set him on the right path. His former boss at the mechanic shop has told me time and time again that his job is waiting for him. I just prayed that in the months to follow, Stephen would wise up, lose the attitude and be the brother I needed.

  I headed out past the first security door, and started walking down the corridor when I heard a familiar laugh. I turn and seen Damon standing at the security window, laughing with the prison guards. He turned just as I realised I was staring at him with probably a startled look on my face. His smile disappeared as I turned and walked as fast as I could to the door. I need to get the fuck out of there like now…... I opened the door, double timing it to the car park. I could hear my name being called behind me, but I continued to half run, half walk. “STOP,” he shouted from behind me. It made my hairs on my neck stand on end. I stopped. I turned slowly and faced him.