Judged By You (Judge Me Series)

by Patricia Voois

  “Well, I have time on the weekend at this stage; we could go to dinner or a movie if you want too?” He said searching my face.

  “I work Saturday and Sunday afternoon. But I’m sure I could change a shift or something.” Mentally I thought about who could replace my shift at work. Most of them were also at college and worked their shifts around their classes and busy lives like I did.

  “How about a rain check and we will see how it goes? I don’t want you to miss work or study time, it’s important that you keep up with your study.” I could sense the disappointment in his face, but I was disappointed more I think.

  I wanted to see him again “Okay.”

  “I will call you.” He said. I sensed this was to reassure me that he meant what he said.

  “And I will answer. Thank you for stopping by Damon,” I leaned in to kiss him on the cheek, but he moved so his lips connected with mine. I didn’t want this to end, but if I didn’t step away I would not respect myself in the morning. I pulled away and kissed his cheek. “Good night Damon.” I smiled and walked back up the path.

  I needed to get inside before I changed my mind. I opened the door and turned to see him smiling at me, his beautiful teeth showing. There was something about him that made me smile, I liked that. I closed the door and went back upstairs. My phone buzzed shortly after;

  Sweet dreams. D

  I quickly tapped out my reply.

  Sweet dreams to you to. Sav.

  Two minutes later,

  They will be filled with thoughts of you. D

  My heart fluttered, I had a stupid school girl smile, but I replied,

  Me too Sav.

  I put my phone down and snuggled under the covers. I closed my eyes with visions of him.

  ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

  I woke to my alarm at eight, I wanted to press snooze but resisted and got up. Nicole was just about to leave for work.

  “Enjoy your date tonight Sav, I’m staying at Stan’s tonight so I won’t be home until tomorrow after work.” My heart sunk with disappointment that I wouldn’t get to see Damon tonight.

  “I’m not going out tonight, things have come up, and he’s busy. I need to study anyway. That assignment is kicking my ass when I should be kicking it's ass.” The thought of it made me rethink my chosen career path.

  “That sucks about your date. But I’m running late, see you.” And just Like that Nicole was gone. She usually ran late, it wouldn’t be Nicole unless she was.

  I decided to clean up before I went to the library. I vacuumed and mopped and even washed my sheets. I found some books under the coffee table that were Stephen’s. I genuinely wanted to know what was up his ass on Sunday. He had his moments few and far between. I needed to contact the attorney and find out if he was up for parole soon. He was given eight years, but he could serve four and get parole for good behaviour. Which meant he was able to get out soon? I needed him to come home and for me to look after him and set him straight again. He had a job to go to, and I just needed to keep him away from the bad company that got him there in the first place.

  I rang Rob Thomas, Stephens’s lawyer, and also our family lawyer straight away to find out when he would be getting out. As long as nothing had changed, and Stephen has behaved, than he would be out within four months. My brother had regretted what he did; well I hoped he did anyway. I would tell him when I spoke to him again as I’m sure they wouldn’t give him that information. I looked at the clock, and it was time to go, “time to kick this assignments arse” I said to myself as I walked out.

  Sarah was too smart for her own good. She was a pleasant distraction and helped me power through the assignment. Bouncing ideas off each other was marvellous; it gave me an idea on what she was thinking compared to my thoughts. In between writing and research she would talk about her family. She had a rich family, who expected mighty things from her, and I got the impression she wanted to be something else, but her parents had forced her to take on something more “respectable” was the word she used. Once we had finished for the afternoon, Sarah suggested we grab a bite to eat since we hadn’t eaten all day. It was 5:30pm by the time we left, and it had been a long day. We decided on Chinese and went to a restaurant a few blocks away from the library. We got a table and ordered, we thought after our efforts we deserved a beer. Conversations flowed and so did our drinks. It was good to see her so relaxed and me the same. I had never thought about her like this before, she was always so quiet and uptight.

  “So are you in a relationship?” I asked her.

  “I have an interest yes. He is a doctor.” She said with a huge smile.

  “Wow, that’s great. How long have you been… you know together?”

  “We have been seeing each other for a few months now, nothing to serious but beyond playful you know.” I was slightly shocked at the words.

  “Playful.” I repeated.

  She laughed, “Yeah you know, more than sex, but we haven’t said the L word yet.”

  I was still laughing at her comment when the waiter brought us another round.

  “We didn’t order anymore drinks, sorry.” I said to him as he put them in front of us.

  “They are courtesy of that gentleman.” He said pointing to a table in the corner of the room.

  When I looked I saw it was Damon. He smiled and gave a wave. I smiled and returned his wave wondering if I should go over and thank him.

  “Who is that hottie?” Sarah said with a grin. She clearly had already had little too much to drink.

  “That’s my friend Damon.” Huh? Was he my friend or my interest I instantly thought?

  “The way you’re looking right now Savannah, something tells me you want more.” She said nudging my arm with her elbow.

  I started to get out of my chair when I saw the busty blonde return to his table. She was gorgeous. Tall, thin and wearing a little black dress that barely covered the parts that needed to be. When she sat next to him, she sat too close. Her hand was on his arm and she was leaning into him whispering into his ear. He had a smile on his face, the same smile he gave me. I couldn’t look anymore, and I could feel my breathing quicken. I was hurt. The feeling was all too familiar.

  “Are you okay savannah?” Sarah asked with concern in her voice.

  “I have to go, I’m sorry. Thank you for today. I will see you later.” I was too quick to get the hell out of there. I couldn’t even look his way.

  “You’re not going to drive, are you?” Sarah followed me out the door.

  “No, I will ring Nicole. She will come and get me. Oh I’m sorry, I didn’t even think of you. Would you like a lift home?” I felt like a bitch, I had brought her here in my car, and now I had been irresponsible and forgotten that I was driving.

  “Oh I don’t want to be too much trouble I can walk; I only live a few blocks away.” She said with a smile. Sarah hugged me and said good bye. She was actually good company. I rang Nicole and asked her to pick me up, she was more than happy to but she had a concern in her voice.

  I paced up and down the footpath waiting. Hoping she would hurry up because I wanted to turn around and look inside to see what was happening. I stopped myself each time I wanted to. Damon has said a few things had come up, and he might be busy this week.

  “I know what’s come up.” I said harshly out loud.

  He had blown off our date to go out with her. I don’t know why but I was angry, and I was hurt, I needed to get out of there. I continued to pace the path, Nicole was at Stan’s so it would take her about thirty minutes to get to me, and twenty had passed already. “Come on Nic,” I said and started to pace. As I turned, I walked straight into his arms.

  “What are you doing out here in the cold?” He asked, looking concerned.

  “I’m waiting.” I couldn’t look at him.

  “What’s the matter Savannah?” He grabbed my arm.

  I just stood and stared at him. I didn’t know what to say. I mean we hadn’t a title, like in a relationship, a
nd we weren’t sleeping together. But less than twenty four hours ago he was kissing me. I shook my head and pushed his hands away.

  “Savannah, what’s wrong?” He said it more sternly this time, but I continued to stare the other way.

  “Are you ready Damon?” I heard a soft voice and turned. The busty brunette had linked her arm through his. Damon turned to look at her then back at me. I shook my head and turned again. I couldn’t believe it.

  “Yes I’m ready.” He replied, but I couldn’t bear to look at him. At that point, Nicole pulled up, and I got straight in.

  “What’s the matter honey?” Nicole said, holding my hand.

  “Nothing…I… I just want to go home.” I could feel the tears.

  “You can talk to me Sav.” She gave me a reassuring squeeze with her hand.

  “I know thank you, I’m just tired. And I have had too much to drink. What was supposed to be a study session turned into drinks and dinner afterwards.” I said wiping the tears off my cheeks.

  “Sometimes the best plans are the ones that aren’t planned at all.” She replied.

  We sat in silence the rest of the way. My phone was buzzing in my bag, but I didn’t want to answer it. At times like this, I wanted my mother. She would tell me what to do, and what I needed to hear. It also made me wish I had family here that I was close too, but I wasn’t close to anyone in the family I had left, apart from my brother.

  “If you need me just call.” Nicole said as I was getting out.

  “Thank you so much Nic, I owe you one”. I replied as I closed the car door.

  I walked inside the house and put my bag on the counter. I turned the coffee machine on; because god knows I needed one. I jumped as the house phone rang.

  “Hello.”

  “What was with you tonight?” That familiar voice rattled me, it was him.

  “How did you get my house number?” I sat in shock. It must have been him calling my phone before.

  “Doesn’t matter, what is wrong Savannah, you looked upset.” He voice lingered around that last word. Wow, you think?

  “Who was that girl?” I just had to ask. I waited to hear the news.

  He hesitated before he answered.

  “She’s a client of mine. Hey… is that what this is about?” He started to sound pissed off.

  “Do you always go on dates with your clients Damon?”

  “It wasn’t a date, and no I don’t. What’s your problem Savannah?” His voice was starting to annoy me more than anything.

  “I have to go.” I hung up before he could say anything else.

  Tears streamed down my face, and I felt hot. I decided I would shower and then watch TV to settle my head and my stomach. I felt violently ill. With coffee in hand, I sat on the couch with a blanket. It was till cold at night. I picked up my phone and saw several missed calls from Damon, and three messages. Two were from him and one from Derek.

  Hey sav, what’s doing? How’s that assignment coming along? I have missed you lately. We should catch up soon.

  Right now I missed Derek too. I must remember to tell him about Stephen. I didn’t bother to reply because if he was asleep I didn’t want to wake him. The other two were from Damon.

  What was wrong with you tonight? You seem distracted and upset. D

  Are you not talking to me? D

  “Yes, I was fucking upset you asshole.” I all but shouted. This is why I have stayed away from men for a long time. They make life suck! I lay on the couch and closed my eyes, begging my body to shut down. I just wanted sleep. I couldn’t bring myself to do anything else but sleep. As much as I begged my brain it wouldn’t stop. Was I wrong to jump to conclusions? Maybe she was just a client, but she was extremely close to him. All of those old feelings came flooding back to me at that point. “You’re so stupid Savannah,” I told myself. I often spoke to myself out loud. Nicole always told me “You’re only crazy if you reply to yourself”. That made me laugh, at that point, I wished Nicole was here to keep me company. I flicked through the channels on the TV and ended up with Law and Order reruns. I loved this show.

  I picked up my phone and saw it was one in the morning. I still couldn’t go to sleep. I decided another coffee was in order. I switched the machine on and heard a knock at the door. I jumped as it scared the shit out of me. Who would be coming here at this hour? I opened the door and froze.

  “What the fuck are you doing here?”

  “I needed to see you, please Savannah.” Damon stood with his arm holding the door open.

  “It’s one in the morning Damon, Go home.”

  “I’m not leaving until you tell me what’s wrong.” He said stepping into the doorway closer to me.

  “Please, just go. I’m OK.” I lied. Jealously certainly is a curse.

  “You saw me there with another woman and thought I was on a date with her? Is that it? Obviously that wasn’t the case.” He said with a nervous smile.

  “That’s what it looked like yes. But I don’t need you to explain. We are only friends or whatever. It doesn’t matter anyway. We aren’t a good idea.” I felt like I was going to be sick.

  “Bullshit! And friends, is that all you think this is or all you want it to be? You have been so clamped close since we met. Why is that? Trying to get an insight in your life is like pulling teeth Savannah.” He said with a bite.

  “My life is none of your business, now please leave.” I grabbed the door and tried to shut it, but his body was in the way.

  He grabbed my face with his hands and kissed me forcefully. His kiss was rough but sweet at the same time. My body reacted as I grabbed his shirt with my hands, fisting at it. He stepped further inside and kicked the door closed behind him. Our tongues stroked each other’s, over and over. It was mesmerizing, and hard to pull away and stop it. He pulled away first and searched my face. His thumb was stroking my lips, which felt swollen and full.

  “Stop running from me.” He breathed out before kissing me again. His hands moved from my face, he put one on the middle of my back to forced me closer and the other at the back of my neck. His lips parted from mine and he started kissing the soft skin between my neck and my ear.

  “Oh, god.” I moaned

  Of course, he had found the most sensitive part of my body. It made my hairs stand on end. And the nerve ending through my body woke up. I got brave and slide my hands down his chest until I could find the top of his belt to pull his shirt out and untucked it. I had this urge to feel his stomach under my hand. His mouth moved from my neck to my cheek and back down again. I untucked his shirt and slid my hands under it. The feel of his taut muscles under my hand was hot. I counted his defined six pack as I ran my hands over it. His lips returned to my mouth, and he forced me around, so I was flat against the door.

  His hand from my back moved to under my shirt. And he ran his fingers down my stomach. I went weak at the knees.

  “I’ve got you.” He said between kisses. He dipped down, picked me up and walked me into the kitchen to sit me on the kitchen bench.

  He was positioned between my knees; I leaned forward and kissed him again. In that moment, I couldn’t get enough. My hands either side of his handsome face, I pulled him closer. His hands went to my back, but he slipped both of them under my shirt. I felt his fingertips digging into my skin. I couldn’t help but moan. I forgot this feeling, and in that moment I needed something more.

  “What are you really here for Damon?” I breathed

  “You.” He didn’t even think about his answer.

  “What happened to self-control?” I said with a giggle.

  “Fuck it.” He moved his hands from the back to the front. And they moved upwards towards each of my breast. I tilted my head back trying to hold back the moans that kept creeping up my throat. My hands moved to his buttons, and I undid them one at a time. He moved his fingers over each nipple and held them in his fingers. Before I could release any more buttons, he removed his hands so fast and lifted my shirt over my head. I was si
tting on my kitchen counter shirtless. Instinct kicked in and I covered them with my arms, hiding myself from him.

  “Hey, don’t hide. I want to see you.” He grabbed my arms and tried to move them.

  “I haven’t….. Done this….. In a long time.” I felt the heat in my cheeks.

  “Well I want to see you. Now move those hands.” He said prying my hands away from my covered chest.

  I released my hands from my chest. I couldn’t look at him, so I looked away. He caressed each of them slowly. Then his mouth found one of my nipples while he played with the other. He bit and sucked on my nipple, then moved on the other. The feeling went straight from my nipples to between my legs. He pulled his lips from my breasts and looked at me with fire in his eyes. I worked up the courage to finish unbuttoning his shirt, once I had all the buttons undone I slowly slid the shirt over his shoulders and it dropped to the floor. His tight body was the sexiest thing I have ever seen. “Wow.”

  “Wow yourself.” He said reaching up and pulling my face to his.

  If this was going to happen, it wasn’t happening on the bench. I pushed him away. And got off the bench, picking up my shirt and his, I grabbed his hand and led him upstairs to my room. I was grateful that I had washed my sheets this morning. I stepped inside, Damon snaked his hands around me from the back. I moved my head to the side, and he kissed me from behind my ear to my clavicle. I reached one of my hands behind me and felt his immense erection. I was in shock at how big it felt. I started to tug at the end of his belt so it would come out, when suddenly his phone rang.

  “Shit.” He moaned.

  He reached into his pant pocket to grab it out; I let my arms embrace my body until I could put my shirt back on.

  “Yes, hello…. Not at all. Why? Oh….. Can it wait…? Okay…. I will be there in fifteen.” He hung up and looked at me with an apologetic look.

  “You have to go?” I said picking his shirt up on the floor and handing it to him.

  “I’m sorry, work is….. Busy.” He said taking his shirt from me.