Abide with Me

by E. Lynn Harris

  Yancey didn’t meet Nicole for breakfast. Yancey received the phone call she had been praying for. At 9:30 A.M., the producer for The Rosie O’Donnell Show called to explain to Yancey how they were a half hour before show time with one Dreamgirl missing. Nicole Springer. The producer asked was there any way Yancey could make it to Rockefeller Center to go on for the missing Dream?

  “Of course I can,” Yancey said. “I’ve just done my makeup.”

  “You’re a lifesaver, Miss Braxton,” the producer exclaimed.

  “I’m just happy to help out. A true Dreamgirl is always prepared.”

  Before grabbing her already packed bag, Yancey reached for the phone and hit speed dial number one. After a few rings, she listened to Nicole’s cheerful greeting. When she heard the beep, Yancey said, “Nicole, I hope everything is all right and I’ll see you at Wilson’s. I hope.” Yancey paused for a few seconds and then said, “Don’t worry if I’m running a little late.”

  When Yancey entered her apartment late that evening, after her national television debut, the phone was ringing urgently. She dropped her bag and almost tripped over the coffee table as she raced to the phone.

  “Hello.”

  “Girl, you were fierce! Just fierce,” Ava said.

  “Did you see me?”

  “Of course I saw you,” Ava said.

  “What time does Rosie come on down there? It’s live in New York.”

  “It comes on at three P.M., and I just happened to be flipping the channels and I heard them say something about the Dreams. And I was so proud of you that I was in tears,” Ava said.

  “I’m so glad you saw it. I didn’t call you because I didn’t know if my plan was going to work,” Yancey said as she kicked off one of her boots.

  “How did you pull it off?”

  “I was invited to Nicole and Jared’s with a guy I just met who Nicole thinks I’m getting ready to marry. Nicole will believe anything. And I guess I was at the right place at the right time. I mean how else can you explain that I got that call instead of Nicole or Jared? I guess I just got some angels working overtime for me. They know it should be me playing Dena Jones and not Nicole Springer. Her time has come and gone and she’s the only one who doesn’t know it.”

  “It was probably Mama,” Ava said.

  “What about Mama?”

  “Your angel,” Ava said softly.

  “You’re probably right, but I don’t care if it’s coming from above or below. I mean today was just wonderful. Rosie and all the people on her staff were so wonderful.”

  “So what are you going to do to celebrate?”

  “I’m going to take a bath. Drink me a glass of wine or something. And then I’m just going to wait for the phone to ring.”

  “The phone to ring? What do you mean?”

  “From agents, from producers. From anybody who saw me today and can help my road to superstardom move just a little bit faster.”

  “And it will, darling. It will.”

  20

  In the days that followed the NAACP press conference, Raymond’s spirits changed like a summer thunderstorm. One moment he was feeling sorry for himself and the next minute he wanted to kick some butt and take names. Initially he wanted to withdraw his name from nomination, telling himself he didn’t need this grief. If his people didn’t want him on the bench, then he didn’t want to represent them. Raymond convinced himself he would be happy practicing law and teaching. He wanted to call his father and ask him for advice. But then he thought about how proud his father was about the nomination. Raymond hated to disappoint him, so he didn’t tell him or his mother about the group’s stance. Trent and Jared were supportive and had encouraged him not to back down. So he had to fight. For his family, his friends, and his dreams.

  It was Wednesday, and Raymond was meeting with Lisa, who had been very supportive in the aftermath of the NAACP’s decision. They were mapping out a game plan at an Italian restaurant located in the Monaco Hotel. After the waitress poured some olive oil in a blue and white saucer, Lisa gave her a “please don’t hover over us … we’ve got serious business” look. The waitress smiled and said, “Just let me know when you’re ready to order.”

  Lisa returned her businesslike smile and went right to work. “So you know one of these guys who’s opposing you?”

  “I don’t really know him. He was involved in a case I handled,” Raymond said.

  “What’s the information?”

  “I don’t know if it’s important or if it will help,” Raymond said.

  “Let me decide,” Lisa said as she dipped a piece of sourdough bread into the olive oil. Raymond nodded and began to tell Lisa about Barry Menton. After reviewing the videotape of the press conference, Raymond had recognized the middle-aged black man with the salt-and-pepper Afro. Raymond had met Barry while defending a young man who had filed a lawsuit against his employer for sexual harassment.

  Raymond’s client, Steven Heggs, had worked first for Menton as a personal trainer and then was offered a job as his executive assistant at a large software firm. Steven was a recent graduate of Howard University and had moved to the Seattle area hoping to land a sales engineer position with a software design company. Once he started working for Menton, Steven was told his job would require him to travel with Menton.

  On one of these trips, Steven discovered there was no hotel reservation for him. It had been mysteriously canceled, so he had to share a room with his boss. The story goes that during the night Menton’s feet became entangled with Steven’s and the next thing Steven knew, his married boss had his lips on a part of Steven’s body where they shouldn’t have been. Raymond, forever the gentleman, wouldn’t say dick or penis, just saying “you know” when trying to explain to Lisa where Barry’s lips were.

  The advances didn’t stop when Steven pushed Menton away and told him he was totally heterosexual. It got worse, and with each of Steven’s refusals, Menton seemed more determined.

  “So are you saying this man is a closet homosexual or, since he’s married, bisexual?” Lisa asked.

  “He denied that and the charges as well, but he settled out of court for a midrange six-figure sum. Menton convinced the higher-ups at his company that this wouldn’t be good for business. We were going to haul a lot of them in for depositions. And my feeling is that my client was truthful on all accounts.”

  “But how important is this guy, and do you think he’s trying to get back at you?”

  “I don’t know. I’m not even certain we should use this or bring it up. I just told you in case we determine they are opposing me because of my sexuality,” Raymond said.

  “It’s good to have that information. We’ll see if he shows up at the meeting when we talk with the leaders,” Lisa said.

  “So they agreed to a meeting?”

  “Yes, with me and possibly the senator. I don’t think it’s necessary for you to be there,” Lisa said. The waitress returned and Lisa ordered for her and Raymond.

  After they finished their meal of lasagna and Caesar salad, Lisa suddenly appeared nervous. She searched the restaurant as if looking for someone and then started twisting the ends of her hair. When Raymond asked if everything was okay, Lisa pulled out a black leather binder from her briefcase and studied a white piece of paper that was sticking out.

  “What’s that?” Raymond asked.

  “I don’t really know how to bring this up,” she said.

  “Bring up what?”

  “I got this from the FBI. I told you they had some more questions. Maybe you know about it, but it could cause us a few problems,” Lisa said.

  “Are you going to let me read it?” Raymond asked.

  “I’m not sure. Let me just tell you the facts. The FBI discovered that your partner, Trent, was arrested on March 15, 1996,” Lisa said. Her words emerged painfully slowly.

  Raymond’s heart was beating wildly with a strange mixture of rage and sorrow. His body became warm with moisture.

  “Th
at couldn’t be,” Raymond said. “That can’t be possible.”

  “I had them double-check it,” Lisa said sadly.

  “Arrested for what?”

  “He was picked up for approaching an undercover cop in an adult bookstore,” Lisa said. “The report states Trent was seen in the parking lot several times during the week of March fifteenth,” she added.

  Raymond shook his head in disbelief and gazed at the walls of the restaurant. The color of the walls made him dizzy as they progressed from pastel blue to shrimp pink and then into a large window he hadn’t noticed before.

  “Are you all right? I really hate telling you this. I wanted you to know because if the NAACP or the ministers get this information, well, it wouldn’t be good for our battle,” Lisa said.

  “This just … can’t be. Not Trent,” Raymond said. His voice trailed off weakly as the feeling of fury and disappointment raged in his throat.

  Lisa gently touched his hand in a show of concern and support and said, “This isn’t the end of the road. It may never come up. We’ll be just fine.” Lisa was trying to reassure Raymond, even though she knew the information might create a major roadblock for Raymond’s nomination.

  But Raymond didn’t hear Lisa’s words or see the concern on her face, nor did he notice the waitress pick up the check. He wasn’t thinking about the NAACP, the ministers, or the position on the federal bench. All Raymond could think about was the man he loved who promised him to always be faithful and true had lied.

  Raymond drove slowly and automatically, his mind numb, trying to forget Lisa’s words. When Raymond arrived home, still in a semidaze, he was happy the house was silent. He immediately went to his office and located his executive planner for March ’96. Where was he the day Trent was arrested? Had he been working on an important case which kept him at the office late or had he been out of town?

  It took him only a few seconds to see New York and a squiggly line through the entire week. Raymond suddenly remembered being in New York, taking depositions for a case. He remembered his evening phone calls to Trent, who would always end the conversation by asking Raymond if he loved him and missed him. Raymond always replied, I do and of course I miss you. He also recalled when he couldn’t reach Trent during a twenty-four-hour period. When the two finally spoke Trent told Raymond he’d suddenly decided to go to Wednesday night prayer meeting. As Raymond remembered that conversation, his face became warm with anger as he wondered how many lies Trent had told him.

  The phone rang and Raymond hoped it was Trent. Maybe he knew what Lisa had told him and was calling with an explanation. Raymond knew this was only wishful thinking on his part. “Hello,” he said.

  “Raymond?” Raymond recognized Lisa’s voice.

  “Yes, Lisa.”

  “Are you okay?”

  “I’m fine,” Raymond lied.

  “Are you sure? Is there anything I can do for you?”

  “No, Lisa. This is something I’ve got to handle,” Raymond said.

  “If you need me, call. Do you have my home number?”

  “I think so. Yes, I have it,” Raymond replied. He didn’t know where it was, but he knew he wouldn’t call Lisa at home anyway.

  “Hang in there. This is a small setback. Everything will be just fine,” Lisa assured.

  “I know,” Raymond lied as he hung up the phone. He knew things might never be the same.

  Raymond went to the kitchen and poured a glass of wine and forced himself to drink it slowly. He didn’t need to be intoxicated when Trent arrived home. Raymond picked up the phone and started to call Trent at his office and demand that he come home immediately. No, he couldn’t do that. He thought about calling Jared, but didn’t know how he would tell his best friend how his partner had been unfaithful. Raymond didn’t want Jared to think critically of Trent. He thought of his mother, but decided against her for the same reasons. Maybe this information wasn’t true. But what if it was?

  What would he do? Play the lawyer and try to uncover the facts, or just shout out to his partner, “How could you do this to us?”

  After two glasses of wine Raymond felt a little relaxed, and decided to take a shower. As the warm water and soap slid over his body, he imagined Trent coming in and not knowing what Raymond knew. Often when Trent came home and heard Raymond in the shower, he would undress and join him. They both enjoyed making love in their oversized cascading shower. But now the way Raymond was feeling, he didn’t even want to think about Trent in an intimate way.

  After his shower Raymond had another glass of wine and checked his messages. There was a call from his father, who wanted to know if Raymond had a date for his confirmation hearing because he and his wife wanted to stay in D.C. for a couple days of sight-seeing. One of his law school classmates had called to congratulate him on the nomination, and the last message was from Trent saying he was working “real late so don’t wait up.” For the first time since he’d fallen in love with Trent, he wondered if he was really working late.

  BOOK TWO

  Imitation of Life

  21

  On a cloudy summer day that felt more like fall, the music of Erykah Badu enveloped the Springer-Stovall apartment as Yancey and Nicole were enjoying their last afternoon in New York City for a while. The two women would be traveling to Washington, D.C., the following morning for the first stop of the planned six-week tour.

  Nicole and Yancey spent the day shopping for makeup, music, and books for the trip and were waiting on Jared for an early dinner at one of Nicole’s favorite restaurants, JUdson Grill. She had just offered Yancey a glass of apple juice when the phone rang.

  “Let me get this, it’s probably my husband,” Nicole said as she turned down the CD player.

  “Go ahead. I’ll get the juice,” Yancey said.

  “Hello.”

  “Is this Nicole Springer-Stovall?” Raymond asked.

  “Raymond? How you doing, Mister Judge-to-be?” Nicole asked.

  “I’m doing fine. I got a message you called me,” Raymond said.

  “Yeah. Seems like we got a little problem,” Nicole said.

  “What?”

  “I got a call from Peaches, and she’s having some problems with her landlord not wanting to renew the lease she and Enoch have. Seems like he wants to sell. This guy just inherited the place from his father, who had told Peaches and Enoch they could live there forever. But Peaches thinks the son wants them out because of the Sunday afternoon dinners she gives for AIDS patients,” Nicole said.

  “Well, if it is, that’s totally illegal. And you could possibly make the argument of an oral agreement. The last time I talked with Peaches, she seemed so excited about the work she was doing. It would be a shame if she lost the place,” Raymond said.

  “Yes, it would. I told her I would give you a call. When Jared told me you had taken a leave of absence, I thought you might be looking for something to keep you busy,” Nicole said.

  “I can’t tell you how true that is,” Raymond said. Nicole detected a sudden sadness in his voice.

  “Is everything okay, Raymond?”

  “Huh … Yeah, everything is fine. But it would be good to get to New York and help Peaches out. It would be good seeing you too,” Raymond said as his voice returned to a rich and clear tone.

  “I’d love to see you also, but unless you get here tonight—then I’ll miss you. I leave tomorrow for D.C. Didn’t Jared tell you I was doing Dreamgirls again?”

  “That’s right, he did. I was surprised I didn’t see you the other day when I was watching Rosie O’Donnell. What happened?” Raymond asked.

  “It was a simple mix-up,” Nicole said. She looked over at Yancey, who grinned at her as she placed the bottle of juice on the counter. “I was kinda sad about it, but I’ll have my chance to be on Rosie. Besides, I have a great understudy,” Nicole added as Yancey blushed.

  “I know you will. Well, tell my niggah I called and hopefully I’ll see him next week. I’m going to stop in Chicago
and see my little brother and parents, then maybe I can head to New York. I’ll give Peaches a call,” Raymond said.

  “I’ll tell Jared. I’m sorry I’m going to miss you. But soon we’ll all have to get together. How is Trent?”

  “Trent is all right,” Raymond said softly. “Look, I need to run, Nicole. Take care, I love you.”

  “And I love you. Good-bye.”

  Nicole hung up the phone, smiled to herself, and returned to the counter where Yancey was sitting.

  “What is that smile about?” Yancey asked as she placed her sweating glass of juice on a plastic coaster.

  “No reason. It’s just always good talking to Raymond. Remember the man I told you about?”

  “Yeah, the man that’s your husband’s best friend, who is also gay, who you used to date. Honey, this is a modern world we’re living in!” Yancey laughed.

  “Yes, isn’t it?” Nicole asked as she refilled her juice glass.

  “So you really loved this Raymond guy, huh?”

  “Yeah, I did. But Raymond came into my life for another reason,” Nicole said softly.

  “What do you mean?”

  “I think the Lord put Raymond in my life so that I could meet Jared. Some people come in our life to move us toward what we should be doing, and who we should be doing it with. I still love Raymond, but now like a dear friend,” Nicole said.

  “That’s wonderful! I knew the moment I met you I wanted to have a woman like you for a friend,” Yancey said with a honeyed voice.

  “You can count on me, Yancey, and I’m glad to have a friend like you.”

  The two women smiled, drank apple juice, and enjoyed the music. After a few minutes of Erykah’s silky voice, Yancey asked, “Nicole, will you tell me about the women in Dreamgirls?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Tell me about the Dreams. Dena, Lorrell, Effie, and my character, Michelle. I mean, you know these characters better than anyone in the cast.”