Stopgap

by Liam Card

  Final touches wrapped up.

  Lighting was set.

  Sound crews were ready and cameras were up.

  A man with bulky headphones covering his ears and holding a clipboard began to loudly count down from four.

  “In four, three two,” he said, dropping the corresponding fingers along the way. When the time came to yell “one,” he was silent. He held that sole index finger up in the air, and then that finger began to circle wildly in a helicopter motion.

  Safia and I hovered over the news desk. She controlled her vibration patterns so as not to disrupt the lights or sound equipment.

  “This is it,” she said.

  I sent her a clip of a speeding car that had lost the ability to brake.

  What follows is a transcription of the interview.

  18

  “Good evening. I’m Sterling MacKinnon. For just under three months now, the world has done its best to adapt and make sense of the wave of executions associated with miraculous acts of intervention and interference in the face of violence crimes. Debates have raged as to who or what may be responsible for these actions, but even the most compelling hypotheses by top theologians, scientists, and philosophers have been just that, nothing more than a slew of best guesses in an attempt to explain seemingly unexplainable acts. Today we have with us celebrated medium Catherine Seymour, who, right now, is making her first on-air appearance to deliver a message and some insight into who or what is responsible for what’s been going on. Catherine, it’s a pleasure to have you with us today.”

  “Thank you.”

  “Before we really get into it, Catherine, how is it that you are able to connect to those trapped in the afterlife as ghosts?”

  “First of all, I’m not so sure they’re all trapped. However, yes, I am able to connect with spirits and accept information from them through the decoding of symbols, letters, and other means of communication.”

  “So, to be clear, it’s not a true discourse you have with ghosts. Like we’re having right now.”

  “No, not like we’re having right now. But yes, it is a true discourse. It is a language that I have the ability to both intercept and decode. I then relay that information on to others.”

  “What do you say to those who feel all this is just a big hoax? That you have no powers at all? That this is just a way to take the money of hard-working people and tell them what they want to hear.”

  “I would suggest those people come and see me. Many have done this over the years. The non-believers sit down on my comfy sofa, and I tell them things about themselves and loved ones I couldn’t possible know. I relay messages from any friends or loved ones who have chosen to attend the session in spirit form. And those non-believers, they change their minds pretty quickly about what I do. Many of them become repeat clients.”

  “Does that mean we all have family members or friends as ghosts who want to deliver a message?”

  “No, in the case where there is not a family member or friend present, there is always a spirit hanging around my living room. They’re just drawn there, I suppose, and they can share with me the thoughts of those sitting in front of me. Sometimes all people want to hear are their own thoughts and fears regurgitated to them through another voice. Sometimes that solidifies important decisions for them or simply surfaces the truth.”

  “So you could do the same to me, or anyone else?”

  “Yes, that’s correct. That is exactly how I find myself sitting today with you. I had to convince many skeptics along the way to get here.”

  “That’s truly amazing.”

  “It’s only as amazing as a pianist plays the piano or a mathematician solves equations, or a farmer raises crops. It’s just what I’m good at. It’s my gift to the world. It’s the thing that I do well. Nothing more.”

  “I understand you have an important message to deliver.”

  “I do.”

  “And what is that?”

  “A couple of months ago I was contacted by a spirit who had an energy vibration pattern unlike anything I had ever been in contact with.”

  “I just want to be clear that when you say spirit, you mean a ghost.”

  “I said spirit, so you can draw from that and reclassify it as you wish.”

  “Understood. Please carry on.”

  “This spirit came to me and began sending me messages that were crystal-clear in their delivery. Sometimes decoding takes a bit of thought and deduction, but this was advanced. I shouldn’t say advanced. This was different, but in a good way for me — the decoder.”

  “And what did the spirit have to say? This ghost.”

  “The spirit, a female I might add, took full responsibility for the acts of intervention. She took full responsibility for the executions and asked me to deliver a message to the humans of this planet.”

  “And what is that message, Catherine?”

  “Excuse me, dear. I just need a sip of water. (coughing) There. Pardon me.”

  “It’s fine. Take your time.”

  “She asked me to deliver this message to the people of the world. Here it goes, as best as I can translate: I am watching over this planet and will be performing these acts of intervention until the end of time or of humanity — whichever comes first. I will continue to intercept acts of violence and punish those who attempt to carry out acts of violence with death. Twenty-four hours from now, individuals, convicted or not, who have carried out acts of violence in the past, including sexual assault, physical violence with the intent to severely injure, or murder, will be executed as well. In addition to that, those who have ordered another individual or individuals to carry out the preceding list of crimes in the past shall also face execution by my hand.”

  “Catherine, I want to pause you here for a second. You are absolutely certain that is the message.”

  “I am. Yes.”

  “What you are talking about here could be the deaths of hundreds of thousands of individuals.”

  “I’m unsure as to the number, but yes. Many.”

  “Did this female ghost give a reason for her decision in this regard?”

  “She didn’t think it fair that criminals who have committed past crimes not face the appropriate penalty, as many have since her acts of interference started. Also, she is attempting to rid the idea of violent crime from the human thought pattern, so she didn’t want criminals of that nature able to procreate.”

  “Hold on, Catherine. Please repeat that if you would? She’s attempting to do what?”

  “I’m getting ahead of myself, but she is attempting to unequivocally rid the human mind of the ability to contemplate violent crimes.”

  “Through the murder of those who have committed crimes in the past?”

  “Partially, through the removal of those who have a history of violence. Yes. That’s how I would put it.”

  “Why did you just say, ‘That’s how I would put it’? Are these your thoughts, and not the thoughts of the being who is ultimately responsible for these acts?”

  “It was a slip. I apologize. That is how I would best translate it.”

  “Understood.”

  “Nevertheless, the removal of past criminals is only part of her ultimate plan. There is larger message I am here to deliver.”

  “Before you do that, Catherine, I would like to repeat the breaking news for all of those tuning in at this time. Those of you who have committed acts of violence in the past, whether convicted or not, have only twenty-four hours to live, based on the information we’ve gathered here just now. This is Catherine Seymour, world-renowned medium, speaking on behalf of a ghost that we now learn is claiming responsibility for the acts of intervention.”

  “As I said, that is only part of the message.”

  “Yes. You mentioned her attempt to rid the human thought pattern of violent crime. What�
�s next after this second purging of criminals?”

  “From what she’s told me, the next phase, phase three, will involve the execution and removal of individuals who have thoughts of violent crimes. This final phase of her plan is an initiative to rid the human psyche of violent thoughts. This phase will commence in approximately one year’s time. She thought that was an ample amount of time for people to mentally prepare.”

  “Mentally prepare. You mean, stop thinking violent thoughts entirely?”

  “Indeed.”

  “Couldn’t one argue that is impossible? That our nature is one that breeds violent thought patterns based on our history of evolution and survival? How are we supposed to change that in one year’s time?”

  “I’m not sure. I’m only here to deliver the message.”

  “We’re now talking about the potential removal, the potential murder of billions of people for committing thought crimes. Not actual crimes.”

  “Again, I’m unsure as to the numbers. But yes. Many.”

  “I just want to clarify. Are we are to rid our minds of violent thoughts or rid our thoughts of violent crimes?”

  “I’m not sure. Those who have legitimate thoughts of violent crimes against another human will be executed as per her mandate. She is suggesting that people begin to train their minds to positive thinking, should they wish to survive.”

  “Brain training? You’re kidding.”

  “This is not a comedy hour. Nor am I a performer here to tell jokes. I am relaying a message from the spirit responsible for all of this, who wants to share with the world the truth about the force responsible for these acts of interference and has chosen me to warn the world with the reality of what is yet to come.”

  “This all seems quite impossible. Doesn’t it?”

  “What, over the course of the last three months, has seemed possible to you so far, Sterling?”

  “It seemed hopeful that we had someone or something here to protect us from future acts of violence. What you are suggesting is that this female ghost is not only going to punish those who have committed previous acts violence, many of whom have served their time for those crimes, but that she is taking things much further … something that will without question result in the death of innocents. And all of this by a force we had all hoped was here to protect us.”

  “From what I understand, she is less interested in protecting us and more interested in changing us.”

  “Alteration is a long way from protection, don’t you think?”

  “Perhaps.”

  “I’m only trying to establish whether she is on our side or not.”

  “Well, what do you think?”

  “Candidly, I’m not so sure anymore. We’re talking about the murder of innocents due to what could be harmless thought patterns.”

  “Since when have violent thought patterns been harmless? What good has ever come from such thoughts? She sees it as a flaw in humanity that she actively is going to attempt to resolve.”

  “And thought crimes, punishable by death, is what we’re dealt in an attempt to resolve it.”

  “Correct.”

  “I’ll ask the question again: How are we supposed to change our natural thought patterns in so little time?”

  “You are asking the wrong person.”

  “Then please ask her. I think I, along with our viewers, am entitled to an answer. Can you ask her?”

  “She said that you shouldn’t worry about it, Sterling.”

  “Why’s that?”

  “Because you only have twenty-four hours to live.”

  19

  Twenty-four hours later, Sterling MacKinnon was dead, as were scores of others. His legacy would be coining the term “Thought Crimes,” which Safia wildly approved of. She believed it to be both clever and catchy. She thought that the broadcast effectively delivered her message, and we quickly shifted our focus to building a better mousetrap.

  Prior to and during Catherine Seymour’s live announcement, I closely monitored the methodology we had developed to log and chart thought patterns the world over. As soon as Catherine made her historic announcement, as soon as individuals heard and digested the news, instinctively they pulled forward any crime they had committed that might qualify for their forthcoming execution. From there, I was able to filter and batch the guilty thoughts accordingly. As the thoughts came in, I marked the guilty with tracer codes, and Safia began her next round of executions. Within twenty-four hours, mostly everyone in the world had either witnessed, listened to, or been told about Catherine’s announcement, and within the same amount of time the world was completely rid of the kind of criminal Safia so deeply loathed.

  Like the others, they had all fallen, and their faces made a mess of something.

  Without question, the world was on its ear. Many governments had laid leaders to rest. Cities and communities had collected the dead. Call and email services were set up should an individual request collection services to gather the body of a family member, loved one, or friend.

  Cemeteries were expanded upon or created.

  Pits were dug.

  People were bulldozed.

  In the correctional facilities and military prisons around the globe, many convicted of crimes were found in their jail cells, lifeless and bleeding from the face. At the same time, many in the same prisons convicted of these types of crimes sat there, asking to finally be set free. And they were.

  Prisons simply opened their doors. The bars were pulled back, and whoever could walk out was free to do so. And out walked those who could.

  Hours before Safia’s Phase Two, social media outlets had become the platform for the guilty to share their terrible secrets with the world.

  Closets were opened up. Skeletons revealed. Followed by apologies for the crimes that had been committed.

  Followed by pleas for forgiveness.

  Then goodbyes.

  A week after the execution of Phase Two, the world’s focus shifted to preparing for Phase Three. Any political and religious debates had been pushed entirely to the side. Instead, motivational speakers in the business of positive thought and brain training now owned the day. As did speech pathologists, who, to combat communication disorders, taught students how to change one’s line of thinking in order to communicate effectively. Thus, through the same training used to successfully correcting a stutter, speech pathologists believed they could apply the same technique to the masses and effectively instruct on how to switch up thought patterns to avoid negative and violent thinking. Entire TV channels became dedicated to brain training for the forthcoming purge of humanity.

  Mental calisthenics.

  Brain gym.

  BrainAudible.com, a website streaming videos and interviews with top speech pathologists and motivational speakers, became the most popular, with millions upon millions of hits per day, translated into every language around the world with the click of a button.

  ThoughtScrubber.com was another popular site, though it was backed by the Catholic church and exclusively in English. To enter the site, you first had to check a box that stated, “I believe in Jesus Christ, our Lord and Saviour, and have fully accepted him into my heart.” Then, after checking this box, you could click “Enter.” Thus, by their standards, the process of gaining access to the website was not that dissimilar to that of heaven.

  Safia called me to hover over a family of six in Annecy, France, as they huddled around the computer, soaking in the brain exercises and coaching tips to rid the mind of negative and violent thoughts. All six of them working diligently. The mother and father acting as drill sergeants in a speed round of evolution. The children were determined to see another birthday.

  Safia loved this. “Look at them,” she said. “Look at how dedicated they are to human improvement.”

  “They seem to be wonderful people.”

/>   “Indeed.”

  “I wonder how many of them will end up in the ground in a year’s time.”

  “Hopefully, not many of them if they keep this kind of training up,” she said. I sent her the graphic image of a rattlesnake with all of its biology identified. The top of the chart read, “cold-blooded.”

  With that, the time was right to do what I’d been mulling over for quite some time. I sent her my formal letter of resignation. Signed and dated at the bottom.

  A copy was sent to the Bookkeeper as well.

  The letter read as follows.

  20

  Dear Safia,

  Due to your forthcoming crimes against humanity with specific regard to the execution of a considerable percentage of the human race, I hereby resign as your Colonel. Please do not expect any further help, as I refuse to participate in the slaughter of innocents, despite your strong convictions that Phase Three will only strengthen and improve upon the human race. It is my sincere wish that you reconsider your actions.

  Sincerely,

  Luke James Stevenson

  21

  To say that Safia was unimpressed with my letter of resignation would be like suggesting that an aggressive bout of food poisoning while in an airplane lavatory was an inconvenience. She vibrated so fiercely that a twelve-hundred-square-kilometre section of ice broke away from the Pine Island Glacier in Antarctica and floated off into the Amundsen Sea. Fault lines around the world rubbed elbows with each other, and news channels hypothesized that the global quake was a potential early warning signal for the commencement of punishable Thought Crimes. That was until a reporter interviewed a New Jersey man who had let his thoughts get the better of him during a fit of road rage. His story went like this: