Her Mother's Daughter

by Lesley Crewe

  How was she supposed to bring a baby into the world? She never played with dolls as a kid. She hated dressing them up and carrying them around. It was all too boring.

  How had this happened? They’d been careful—but not careful enough, apparently. She thought of her friends, who talked non-stop about getting ready for university in the fall. They were already packing and buying new outfits, picking up microwaves for their dorm rooms and cellphones so their parents could keep in touch.

  She’d be buying diapers and baby wipes.

  When the phone rang, she cringed, but it wasn’t for her or Tansy would’ve said so. When it rang again ten minutes later, Tansy called up the stairs. “Ashley, it’s Matt.” She could pretend to be asleep, but she couldn’t sleep for the rest of her life. She took a deep breath and picked up the phone.

  “Hi.”

  “Ashley, are you all right?”

  “No.”

  “What’s wrong? I’m going crazy here. I haven’t seen you since prom and I feel like you’re avoiding me. Aren’t you glad we were together? Don’t you want to be again?”

  “Stop.”

  “Stop what?”

  “Stop asking me so many questions. I can’t think.”

  “There’s something going on that you’re not telling me.”

  “What do you want to be when you grow up, Matt?”

  “What?”

  “You heard me. What do you want to do? And don’t say you want to be the most famous hockey player in the world. Tell me the truth.”

  He hesitated. “I don’t know.”

  “You must know.”

  “I don’t. My mother is breathing down my neck to go to university, but I’m not sure I want to. If I wanted to be anything, I guess a cop or a firefighter.”

  Ashley sighed. “You’d have to go away for that.”

  “Yeah, but it wouldn’t be for long. Not as long as getting some stupid degree.”

  She lay down on the bed and cradled the phone against her ear.

  “You’d make a great firefighter.”

  “I’d take my ladder to come and rescue you. I might have to if you don’t come out of your room soon. I miss you. I want to be with you again.”

  “I know.”

  “What do you want to be when you grow up?”

  Ashley put her hand over her mouth.

  “Ashley?”

  “I wish I knew,” she whispered.

  “Get better, baby.”

  “I will.”

  “I love you.”

  “I love you too.” She hung up the phone and pressed her face into the sheets.

  Gertie was raring to go when Tansy showed up at her door the next Saturday morning. It was a glorious day, perfect for going to the beach, though the water didn’t warm up in this part of the world until mid to late July. Still, it looked tempting.

  They were off, walking down the main street of town, with its corner stores, gift shops, and the odd motel. A few large homes sat inches from the sidewalk, and cars were parked on both sides of the street. Already large trailer homes and caravans lumbered through the main drag on their way to the fortress. License plates from across Canada and the States were clues as to how far these people had travelled to see this famous site.

  Typically for a local, Gertie hadn’t been to the fortress in years. But she imagined most New Yorkers didn’t visit the Empire State Building, either, unless their relatives were in town.

  She wasn’t aware that she was walking quickly until Tansy pointed it out.

  “You’re doing a lot better, Gertie. Have you weighed yourself lately?”

  “Nah, I don’t believe in that horseshit.”

  Tansy chuckled. “You’re a riot.”

  “If I spent my entire life chained to a scale I’d never get out of bed. Do I need to be told every single morning I’m a fat slob before I even brush my teeth?”

  “I never thought of it that way.”

  “Let’s walk to Bay’s.”

  “Are you sure? It’s a long walk.”

  “I can do anything.”

  “Good for you.”

  By the time they got to Bay’s street, Gertie was winded. Tansy urged her on. “Keep going. You only have fifty feet left.”

  Gertie nodded but stopped. Flo, who was out front washing her porch windows, put her hands on her hips. “Leave that poor child alone. Do you want to kill her?”

  Before Gertie could say anything, Tansy shouted, “Why don’t you mind your own business?”

  “It is my business if Gertie has a heart attack on my front lawn. Do you know cp r? Because I sure don’t.”

  “I’m surprised. I thought you were full of hot air.”

  Gertie pushed Tansy up the driveway, with Flo yelling at her the entire time. “In all my born days, I’ve never heard a saucier mouth than yours, Tansy Gillis. Why your mother…”

  They disappeared around the corner and went into the house.

  “Why do you provoke that woman?”

  Tansy shrugged. “She called me a brat when I was a kid.”

  Bay was by the stove making pancakes. “What are you two doing here? Don’t tell me you walked over here, Gertie.”

  “I did indeed. Now all I need is an intravenous drip and new feet.”

  Bay hurried to the fridge, pulled out a pitcher of water, got a glass, and put them in front of her friend. “You’re doing really well, Gertie. You only started this—what, about a week, maybe ten days ago?”

  “That’s right.” She poured her water into the glass and chugged it down.

  Tansy walked over to the electric frying pan. “We should be having fruit and cottage cheese, not pancakes.”

  “I’m trying to entice Ashley to eat something.”

  “She’s still moping around?” Gertie asked.

  “Mmm. I’m going to insist she see a doctor, even if I have to drag her out of that room.”

  Gertie sat at the table with a big sigh. “Sit down, girls. I have some news.”

  Bay and Tansy looked at each other, but did as they were told.

  Gertie tried not to look too pleased. “I have a date.”

  “That’s great.” Bay smiled.

  “You see?” Tansy grinned. “All this hard work is paying off.”

  “It’s got nothing to do with exercise, unless typing counts.”

  “You met him online?” Tansy asked.

  “Yep.”

  “You went on that site Ashley told you about?” Bay wondered.

  “I went on a Big and Beautiful site.”

  “Do you think it’s safe?”

  “Well, I didn’t join the one called Chubby Chaser. And besides, you told me that people do it all the time.”

  “I know, but that doesn’t mean there aren’t risks involved. Who is this guy? He could be a lunatic for all you know.”

  Tansy folded her arms across her chest and gave Bay a look. “What is wrong with you? Why do you have to throw cold water on this?”

  “People get fooled all the time. You never know what you’re dealing with.”

  “I’m sure Gertie can handle herself, right, Gertie?” Tansy said.

  “Right. If he’s a maniac, all I have to do is sit on him until the police arrive.”

  The next day Bay told Ashley she was taking her to the doctor after work and didn’t want to hear another word about it. Ashley knew if she kept this secret much longer she’d likely burst forth like a volcano, and she didn’t want it to happen in front of Dr. White.

  She called Maribeth instead.

  Maribeth came flying upstairs and didn’t bother knocking, just opened the door and barged right in. Ashley was in her pyjamas on the bed, hugging her panda.

  “What are you doing in your PJs? Get dressed and let’s go to the mall. My mom gave me the car.” She plunked herself beside Ashley and pulled out a pack of gum from her purse. “Want some?”

  Ashley shook her head.

  Maribeth shoved the gum in her mouth and took a good
look at her friend. “If you don’t mind my saying so, you look like shit.”

  “Thanks.”

  “All right, spill the beans. Did you and Matt break up or something?”

  At the word “Matt,” Ashley let go of the bear and covered her face with her hands. “I don’t know what to do.”

  Maribeth crawled over the bed to put her arms around her friend. “Did he do something to you? God, he’s not cheating on you, is he? I’ll kill him.”

  Ashley shook her head. “It’s worse.”

  Maribeth took Ashley’s hands away from her face. “I can’t hear you. Tell me.”

  Ashley couldn’t get her breath.

  “Calm down, it’s okay.”

  “I’m pregnant.”

  Maribeth’s hand flew up to her mouth. “Oh, shit.”

  “What am I going to do?”

  “Are you sure?”

  Ashley got cross. “Of course I’m sure.”

  “Did you take a test?”

  “No, but I don’t need one. My boobs are huge and I haven’t had my period in three months. I’m throwing up every morning and I can’t keep anything down. Doesn’t that sound like pregnant to you?”

  Maribeth nodded as she chewed her gum rapidly. “I still think you should take a test.”

  “And I’m going to pick it up where? I know someone who works at every drugstore within a forty-mile radius of here.”

  “True.” Maribeth blew a bubble. “Didn’t you…you know…use anything?”

  “Of course we did.” Ashley looked away. “Except maybe once.”

  “Trust you to hit the jackpot. Does Matt know?”

  “No. I can’t tell him. His mother will kill him and blame me for trapping her precious son. You watch, she’ll make him hate me by this time next week.”

  “Don’t be crazy. Matt would never hate you, and besides, it’s his baby too. You didn’t do this all by yourself. He needs to know.”

  “He’s got his whole life ahead of him. He’s not going to be eighteen until next month.”

  Maribeth gave her a look. “You’re not going to be eighteen until Christmas, and you have your whole life ahead of you too. Why are you making it more of a tragedy for him than for you?”

  Ashley sighed. “I don’t know. I can’t think. Tell me what to do. What would you do?”

  “I’d leave town and get an abortion real quick.”

  Ashley looked up with a shocked expression on her face. “Are you serious?”

  “Sure, I’m serious. I’d take my birthday money and get on a bus to Halifax and go to a clinic and no one would be the wiser.”

  “But I couldn’t. This is Matt’s baby.”

  Maribeth shook her head. “Don’t get all girly, Ashley. It’s not anything right now. It’s a problem that’s going to ruin your life, and if you’re smart, you’ll get rid of it.”

  Ashley sat back against her headboard and hugged her pillow. “Wow. I never thought you’d say that.”

  “Why?”

  Ashley shrugged.

  “I’m not a softie. I know what I want. I’m going to be an occupational therapist. They make tons of money and I’ll be in the right spot to meet a lot of handsome rich doctors. End of story.”

  “Wouldn’t you feel guilty your whole life if you got rid of it?”

  Now it was Maribeth’s turn to shrug. “Maybe. But I’d have other kids someday. You need to look out for number one. Don’t let a five-minute mistake cost you everything.”

  “I don’t think I could do it.”

  “I’ll go with you, if you like. We can tell our moms we’re going on a shopping expedition and we’ll stay with my sister. She’s got an apartment in Halifax and she won’t blab.”

  Ashley frowned. “I’ll have to think about it.”

  “Well, you can’t afford to wait too much longer. Just know I’m here if you need me.”

  Ashley nodded.

  Tansy went to the corner store that afternoon and ran into an old classmate. Tansy didn’t recognize her at first; she looked ten years older than she actually was, with greying hair in a ponytail and jogging pants hanging off her ass, but she knew Tansy in an instant.

  “My God, is that you, Tansy? Well, blow me down. You look fantastic.”

  “Uh, hi.”

  “You don’t remember me, do you?”

  Tansy didn’t get a chance to answer because the woman kept talking as if Tansy wasn’t there. “I’m Annette Birk, remember? I sat behind you in grade eleven. I was on the school newspaper.”

  It still didn’t ring any bells, but Tansy pretended otherwise. “Right. How are you, Annette?”

  “Oh, don’t ask.” She shifted her purse to her other shoulder. They were standing in the aisle by the chocolate bars and a few people had to squeeze past them to get to the cash. “You look fabulous. Are you back for good? Where do you live? I’m stuck here. I ended up marrying Derek. You remember him, the guy with the big glasses who sat in front of you in Chemistry.”

  Tansy did remember him. Derek was always passing her notes that said he was madly in love with her and wanted her more than life itself. She’d set them on fire with her Bunsen burner and get into trouble with the teacher.

  “Oh, right…”

  “He’s a complete schmuck, of course, but what can you do. I’ve got four kids and no job, so I can’t leave the son-of-a-bitch.”

  Tansy realized she had a willing snitch about village life in front of her, and it was too good an opportunity to pass up. “Would you like to get a coffee, Annette?”

  Annette looked like she had won the lottery. “Well, sure! That would be great.” She rooted in her purse. “I’m not sure if I have any cash, though.”

  “Don’t worry about it. My treat.”

  They walked out of the store and over to the local diner. Once Tansy placed their order, poor old Annette couldn’t wipe the grin off her face. “This is so neat. You always were the coolest girl in school. We all wanted to be like you. Remember Lois Brewer? She tried to dye her hair your colour and ended up having to chop it all off when it turned green instead.”

  Tansy laughed. “Oh, dear.”

  “And then there was Karen Musgrave. She ended up calling her daughter Tansy. Naturally she pretended you had nothing to do with it, but I know different.”

  “Tell me, Annette. Are there any eligible bachelors in town?”

  Annette’s chin dropped. “Are you looking for a man? You?”

  “No, I’m thinking of someone for my sister. She must get lonely at times. I worry about her.”

  “Well, you don’t have to bother, because she has Dermot Fraser wrapped around her little finger. I don’t know why he likes her. She ignores him half the time.”

  “Is he a nice guy?”

  “Oh yeah. I wouldn’t kick him out of bed for eatin’ crackers.”

  “If he’s so special, why isn’t he married?”

  “I think he got his heart broke once. That was the story, anyhow, when he moved back to town. Something about his girlfriend going for a walk along the beach and disappearing into thin air.”

  “That’s awful.”

  Annette nodded. “Just my luck Derek never takes a walk on the beach.”

  “No one ever found her?”

  “Nope. Some say she drowned, and some say she ran off with someone else. There are even a few nuts around here who think he murdered her, but that’s crazy. Nothing exciting like that happens around here.”

  “Murder isn’t exciting.”

  Annette waved her hand around, as if to erase the words. “I don’t mean it like that. I lead such a boring life. The only excitement I get is watching the soaps, and they murder people left, right, and centre. Only their victims come back from the dead on a regular basis, suffering from amnesia.”

  Tansy had had enough of Annette Birk. She rose to her feet. “I’m sorry, Annette, I have an appointment and I’d better dash.” She took a ten-dollar bill out of her wallet and handed it to Annette. “If you
wouldn’t mind paying the waitress?”

  “But what about our coffee?”

  “Sorry. Maybe another time.” Tansy walked away.

  True to her word, Bay took Ashley to the doctor. She wanted to go into the office with her, but Ashley gave her such a look of incredulity that she backed off. The doctor asked her all sorts of questions and she lied through her teeth for most of them. Was she sexually active? No. When was her last period? Two weeks ago. Was she sleeping all right? Like a log. Eating? Yes.

  He felt her glands and listened to her heart and took her blood pressure and all the things doctors do. He ordered blood work.

  “Why?”

  “Just to be on the safe side. I suggest you take some multivitamins in the meantime. It can’t hurt. I hope you’re not dieting?”

  “No.”

  “Your mother said you’ve been throwing up. You aren’t bingeing and purging, are you?”

  “Of course not. That’s stupid.”

  “I’m glad you think so. As soon as I get your reports back, I’ll be in touch.”

  Ashley turned to go. Before her hand reached the doorknob, he said, “Anything you say to me is private. I can’t tell your mother, do you understand?”

  She nodded.

  “I’m here if you need me.”

  “Thanks.” She left.

  Her mother got out of her chair in the waiting room as soon as Ashley emerged from the office. “Well?”

  “He says I should take vitamins.”

  “Is that all?”

  Ashley nodded. “He wants me to have some blood work, too.”

  “Well, let’s go to the hospital right now.”

  “No, Mom. I’m tired. I want to go home.”

  “But we’re in town—”

  “Please. Can I get it done tomorrow?”

  “I suppose so,” Bay frowned. “Although why you don’t—”

  Ashley turned to face her mother. “Will you stop treating me like a five-year-old? I’m tired and I’d rather do it tomorrow. Don’t make a federal case out of it.”

  Bay pressed her lips together. “Fine. Let’s go home.”

  It was a deadly quiet car ride.

  Tansy was at the stove when they came in the door. “How did it go?”

  “Okay, I guess,” Bay said. “Are you cooking?”