Her Mother's Daughter

by Lesley Crewe

  Matt gave Ashley a big hug before he let her go. “I’ll call you when I get home.”

  She nodded and dried her face with the corner of her comforter. “I love you.”

  He smiled but didn’t say anything, obviously embarrassed to repeat it in front of their parents, so he gave her a quick wave.

  When the MacLeans left, the three Gillis women collapsed back into their kitchen chairs. They were dazed, as if they’d been boxing for a couple of rounds. Merlin hurried over and put his head in Bay’s lap. She rubbed his ears.

  “I should’ve sicced Merlin on her.”

  They grimaced at each other, comrades together after the first battle.

  Just then Gertie appeared at the back door. “Yoohoo, only me. Can you believe I’m now walking on my lunch hour?” She came into the kitchen holding a paper bag. “Someone give me a medal and put the kettle on.”

  The three of them stared at her.

  Gertie stared back. “What’s wrong?”

  “I’m having a baby,” said Ashley.

  “Oh, hardy har har.” Gertie sat at the table and looked at them all. “So are you going to tell me or what?”

  No one spoke.

  Gertie’s eyes got wider and wider. “For real?”

  They nodded.

  Gertie burst into tears. She howled so loud Merlin ran around the table and barked at her. The other three jumped up and began to wring their hands.

  “Gertie, stop it!” Tansy said. “You’re not helping.”

  “I’m sorry! Oh my God!”

  “Even I had a better reaction than that,” Bay shouted at her.

  “Gertie, please don’t hate me!” Ashley cried.

  “Hate you? I love you.” She jumped up from the table and smothered Ashley in her generous bosom. “I’ll help. I’m available for babysitting every night of the week and you never have to pay me.”

  Dermot spent a long and wearying day at the garage trying to keep his mind off Tansy and Bay. He still couldn’t believe everything had gone so wrong. And now there was no way he could talk to either of them, because he didn’t dare call the house. He’d have to sit and cool his heels until one or both of them got in touch. That wouldn’t help his mood any.

  He finally headed for home after locking up the garage. All that awaited him was a couple of tins of beans, but he was in no mood to go grocery shopping. As he drove up Main Street he was aware of Bay’s street up ahead. He told himself to keep looking straight but he didn’t. As he passed the road he strained to see Bay’s house. A rush of relief went through him when he saw that Tansy’s Porsche was still in the driveway. But the fact that he was relieved was disturbing.

  He and Tansy had no future. Not in this town. And who said he wanted one with her anyway?

  When he got home he put the kettle on to make a pot of tea but soon realized he didn’t have a tea bag in the house, so he grabbed his keys and wallet and hightailed it up to the corner store. It was a lovely warm summer night, perfect for a stroll. There were plenty of tourists about. You could always pick them out, with their fanny packs and sunhats on. They were the town’s lifeblood in the summer and helped local businesses weather the long, quiet winters.

  Dermot entered the store and went to the back where the teabags were. He started to walk back up the aisle when who walked into the store but Tansy. Without thinking, he ducked behind some shelves, which was ridiculous, because didn’t he want to speak to her?

  He watched her from his vantage point. Her face was pale and she looked weary, with her beautiful blonde hair held back haphazardly with an elastic. Obviously Bay had raked her over the coals, and that made him angry. He wondered what he should do, but before he could figure it out, Tansy looked in his direction. Startled, she turned around and walked right out of the store. Without thinking, he left the box of teabags on the shelf in front of him and rushed after her. She was halfway down the block by the time he got outside.

  “Tansy, wait!”

  She kept walking, so he had to run to catch up with her. He put his hand on her shoulder as he came up behind her. She shrugged it off. “Leave me alone.”

  “Just a minute, please.”

  Tansy stopped and faced him. “There is nothing that you and I have to talk about. It’s all over. Bay knows and I don’t plan on causing her any more pain. So stay away from me, Dermot.”

  “I want to know if you’re all right. Bay was so angry when she left. I worried about you all day.”

  “I can take care of myself.”

  He glanced up the road towards Bay’s street. “What did she say? I suppose she hates me now.”

  “I think she hates both of us at the moment.”

  Dermot looked back at her. “She won’t make you leave town, will she?”

  Tansy hesitated.

  “Don’t leave.”

  “Why?”

  He hung his head. “I don’t want to be the reason that you and Bay are apart. I think she needs someone. I thought that someone was me. I don’t want her to be alone.”

  Tansy looked out towards the water. “She’s not going to be alone. I’m staying here, as awkward as that may be for all of us.”

  “Do you think there will ever be a chance of…”

  “…you and Bay together? Of course there’s a chance. Be patient and let her calm down. She’ll come around in the end. I have to go, Dermot. I’ll see you around.”

  She walked away quickly before he could say another word.

  A couple of days later, Tansy sat on the swing, Merlin at her feet. Her eyes lingered on the bright greenery of the vegetables growing in straight, neat rows in the garden. She could pick out the lacy carrot tops and the tangled leaves of runner beans, but she wasn’t sure about the rest. Why didn’t she listen when her mother told her about the garden? She could see her mom now, on her knees, humming as she worked the soil. Bay would stay beside her and watch, but Tansy was always too restless. She’d flit and dance around the edges instead. If only she’d stopped and learned. Now it seemed rather a miracle that one could plant a tiny seed and have it ripen into a fat red tomato or a pod of tiny perfect peas.

  A screen door slammed and out marched Flo to hang up her dishtowels on the clothesline. Tansy ignored her, which only made Flo’s muttering louder. Tansy finally looked at her. “If you’ve got something to say, say it.”

  “Well, it’s a poor house that can’t keep one lady,” Flo scowled.

  “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  “Get off your arse and weed the garden for your sister.”

  Tansy would have if she knew what was a weed and what was an actual vegetable, but she wasn’t going to tell Flo that.

  “You’re a joy to be around, Flo. No wonder Ira loves you so much.”

  Flo flicked her apron and stalked off. “Saucy brats will be the death of me.”

  Tansy sighed as she continued to wait for Bay and Ashley to come back from the doctor’s office. She’d offered to go with them, but Bay said she wasn’t needed, and Ashley was too preoccupied to care. When she finally heard the car pull in the driveway, she got up and headed for the house with Merlin beside her. They met at the back door.

  “How did it go?” She held the door open for them and naturally Merlin went in first.

  “It was awful.” Ashley brushed past her and walked into the kitchen.

  “Awful?”

  “Don’t listen to her.” Bay went in as well. Tansy brought up the rear and closed the screen door behind her.

  Ashley sat at the kitchen table and cupped her chin in her hand. “There are so many things to remember. I don’t know what he was talking about.”

  Tansy sat beside her. “What kind of things?”

  “I don’t know. Pills and stuff.”

  Bay sat down as well, and rooted through her purse. “I’ve written it down. All we have to get are some prenatal vitamins and folic acid.”

  “Did he say when the baby’s due?”

  Mother and daughter glanced
at each other. “Christmas,” they said at the same time.

  Tansy smiled. “Maybe it will be born on your birthday.”

  Ashley frowned. “I’m going to put it up for adoption.”

  Tansy and Bay stared at her. It was Bay who spoke. “When did you decide this? Is it something you and Matt talked about?”

  “When that doctor kept harping about what I have to do. It suddenly hit me. I’m not going to remember any of it; ultrasounds and appointments. There’s too much to do and the baby isn’t even here. What’s it going to be like when it does get here? It’s terrifying.”

  Tansy put her hand out and placed it over Ashley’s. “You’re overwhelmed at the moment. You don’t have to remember everything at once. You’ll be fine.”

  “What do you know about it?” Ashley said. “You never had a kid.”

  Tansy pulled her hand away.

  Bay spoke up. “There’s no need to take it out on us, Ashley. It doesn’t help.”

  “Sorry.” Ashley folded her arms on the table and laid her head on top of them. “I feel like jumping out of my skin.”

  “It’s called hormones,” Tansy informed her. “They’re running amok at the moment.”

  “Do you really want to give this baby away?” Bay asked her.

  Ashley hid her face. She didn’t say anything for a few moments and then came a muffled “No.”

  “What does Matt think?” her mother asked.

  She sat up. “He says it’s up to me. Which is stupid, because why do I have to decide everything?”

  “It’s no doubt hard for him to know what to say,” Tansy said. “He knows it’s your body, and so it’s ultimately your decision.”

  “I know his mother thinks I should have an abortion. Just flush it away like it never existed. So even if I wanted to, I’d never do it, just to bug her.”

  They sat in silence for a while. That’s when Tansy brought up something she’d been mulling over. “I’m going to sell the Porsche. It’s nuts to have such a fancy car in this neck of the woods. We’ll need the money when the baby comes.”

  “You don’t have to do that,” Ashley said.

  “I’d like to.”

  Bay picked at her thumbnail and didn’t look at her sister. “So you’re going to stay, then?”

  “Well, of course I’m going to stay. I told you that.”

  “You say a lot of things you don’t mean.”

  “Mom.”

  Tansy patted her niece’s hand but looked at Bay. “Well, I mean this. We’re going to have to stick together. You don’t make a lot of money, and Ashley won’t be working until the baby is older, and we’ll need money for their future. I have a few other things I can sell, and I plan on looking for a job, too.”

  “A job? What on earth do you do besides sidle up to rich men?”

  Tansy rose from her chair. “You can insult me all day, but you’re not going to make me run away so you can have the satisfaction of saying ‘I told you so.’ I’m in this to the end, Bay, like it or lump it.”

  Tansy turned around and went upstairs to her room.

  Ashley gave her mother an incredulous look. “What is wrong with you? Why are you so mean to her all the time? She’s only trying to help.”

  Bay looked away.

  “You know what, Mom? Right now, I feel like the adult in this room.” Ashley rose from the table and followed her aunt upstairs.

  Bay got up and went outdoors to the swing. Looking at the garden made her feel better. Then she closed her eyes and imagined her mother sitting beside her. What do you think, Mom? Did I do a good job with the vegetables this year? Am I doing anything right? Anything at all?

  She didn’t know how long she sat there, but when she finally opened her eyes, the sun had set and there was a definite chill in the air. Her limbs were stiff as she got off the swing and walked back into the kitchen. She heard the television on in the living room, so she poked her head in. Tansy sat on the couch and Ashley was fast asleep, wrapped in her blanket, with her head in Tansy’s lap.

  Tansy looked up at her. “We were watching tv and she fell asleep. She’s emotionally exhausted, the poor kid.”

  Bay walked over to the wing chair and sat down heavily. “She’s not the only one. I’m sorry about what I said earlier. It’s like I say things without thinking.”

  “That’s okay.”

  “What a mess.” Bay rubbed her forehead. “I can’t believe we’re in this predicament.”

  Tansy shrugged and absent-mindedly brushed Ashley’s hair off her face. “Life is about lurching from crisis to crisis.”

  There was something in Tansy’s face that touched Bay. “Is that how it’s been for you all these years?”

  Tansy shrugged again. “Sort of.”

  “Why didn’t you get married and settle down?”

  “I don’t know. I always thought I would someday, but that day never came.”

  Bay looked at the floor. “I know I’ve been angry at you, for all kinds of things…”

  “You’ve had reason to be.”

  Bay groaned and put her hands up through her hair. “If only you knew how tired I am of being angry. I don’t recognize myself anymore. I’m either numb or furious with everything and everyone. I think I need help.”

  “You’re right.”

  They sat in silence for a few minutes. Out of the blue Bay asked, “Were you serious about getting a job?”

  “I have to. We’re going to need the money. My nest egg is becoming a little sparse.”

  “Thanks. That would help.”

  Even though Tansy knew she needed to find work, she wasn’t optimistic about her chances. What on earth was she going to do here in the middle of nowhere? Not much call for modelling or acting in Louisbourg, which is what she did to make ends meet for quite a few years, before she met the first of her gentlemen friends. And when she sold the Porsche, they’d only have Bay’s older car between them, so a job in Sydney wasn’t ideal.

  There was nothing for it. She’d have to hit the streets and beg someone to take her on as a waitress in one of the restaurants in town. It was that or become an animator at the fortress and dress up in period costumes all day. Wearing an itchy petticoat and bonnet on her head was not an option. She’d rather starve.

  But then she remembered who she was doing it for and reconsidered, only to find out that there was a long waiting list to be an animator for the season, so that came to nothing. She even asked Gertie if they needed a typist at her insurance office. Gertie said she liked her, but since she was the only typist in the office, that would make her unemployed and she didn’t relish the thought.

  So Tansy went to all the restaurants in town, but that venture didn’t start out with much promise. As luck would have it, the first restaurant was owned by Kay Cathcart of the dog doo-doo incident. Tansy was sent packing with her tail between her legs. Two other restaurants had all the staff they needed, while another one asked for references, which Tansy didn’t have. Her own sister didn’t trust her as far as she could throw her and no one else in town knew her. Not really.

  Well, one man did, but she tried hard not to think about him.

  Finally the local greasy spoon said they needed someone to start immediately since the waitress had quit in a snit that very morning and they supposed Tansy would do.

  Tansy looked down at her summer dress. “Can I go home to change?”

  The cook, a man named Lauchie with a huge beer belly, looked her up and down. “Nah. Keep that on. Might bring in some customers.”

  “But I’ll get grease on it.”

  “Do you want the friggin’ job or not?”

  “Fine. Do you have an apron?”

  He pointed to a large dishtowel, and with nothing better to use, Tansy wrapped it around her waist and tied it in the back.

  It was the start of the longest day of her life.

  She limped home in her high-heeled sandals, finally taking them off and walking in her bare feet the rest of the way. Her
pretty polka-dot wraparound dress was covered in grease stains and a large mustard stain as well, thanks to an overzealous customer smacking the bottom of the container with undue force.

  When she walked into the kitchen, she found Bay with her arms around Ashley. They were having a mother and daughter moment, but that moment was shattered when they turned around and saw her. Their faces registered shock.

  “Are you all right?” Bay asked. “What happened?”

  “I got a job.”

  “Doing what?” Ashley squealed. “Picking through garbage?”

  “I’m a waitress at Sonny’s Snack Bar.”

  It was so ludicrous. Bay and Ashley stood there with their mouths open.

  Tansy smirked. “I think I’ll drive the Porsche to work tomorrow. My feet are killing me.”

  The three of them started to laugh and couldn’t stop. Bay reached out and grabbed her sister in a big bear hug. She buried her face in Tansy’s neck. They held each other for a long time. Tansy said to Ashley, “Group hug.”

  Ashley ran over and the three of them embraced, rocking back and forth slightly.

  “All for one and one for all,” Tansy whispered. “We’re going to get through this. And we’re going to be fine.”

  Ashley was booked for an ultrasound and Matt took the day off work to go with her. Bay wanted to accompany them, but Ashley asked her not to. She and Matt didn’t have much time alone anymore and she wanted it to be a private moment. So reluctantly Bay waved them goodbye and waited to hear all about it.

  Ashley held Matt’s hand in the waiting room and wiggled in her seat. “I wish they’d hurry up. I need to pee. What’s taking so long?”

  Matt looked around, as if that would make things happen quicker. “I don’t know. Do you want me to go ask?”

  She kept his hand in a death grip. “No, don’t leave me.”

  “I’m right here.”

  A nurse approached with a clipboard. “Ashley Gillis.”

  They rose as one. “Matt’s coming with me.”

  “That’s fine. It’s this way.” She indicated the hall to the left and walked ahead of them. “I’ll take you to the dressing room. Undress from the waist up and put on a Johnny shirt and robe. Matt, you can wait here for now.”