Her Mother's Daughter

by Lesley Crewe

  When he got to Ashley’s room he knocked softly before going in. It was a double room, but there was no patient in the bed closest to the door. He limped over to the far bed behind the curtain. Ashley had her eyes closed and he thought she was asleep at first, but when he moved closer, she opened her eyes. A big smile came to her face.

  “Hi, Peter. What are you doing here?”

  “I’m here to babysit for the day. Gertie had some business to attend to, but she’ll be in later. She didn’t want you to be alone this morning.”

  “She’s so sweet. I’m glad you’re here, though. Matt can’t come in until this afternoon, but he’s called about five times this morning. His uncle might get fed up if he sees him using a cellphone on the job.”

  “I’m sure his uncle understands that Matt wants to check up on you.”

  “I guess. What’s in the bag?”

  Peter stood next to the bed and emptied out the backpack. “I’ve got a healthy lunch for both of us, courtesy of my mother, and some books and magazines and a pack of cards. How does that sound?”

  “Really nice.”

  He put it all on the table tray at the end of the bed and sat in the chair beside her. It was a tight squeeze.

  “Are you sure you’re going to be comfortable there?”

  “Don’t worry about me. I want to know how you’re feeling.”

  Ashley made a face. “I slept on and off all night. I worry that if I move Fred will get fed up and come anyway.”

  “Fred?”

  Ashley put her hands on her belly. “The baby. We call him Fred. We call her Fred too.”

  “What have the doctors said?”

  “That I need bedrest. I think I might be in here for longer than I thought. They’re concerned about my weight and my blood pressure.”

  “Then you’re exactly where you should be, and I want you to relax and forget about everything. We have nothing to do and nowhere to go. My idea of heaven.”

  They chatted quietly for the rest of the morning. Ashley didn’t know he was a professor of computer science, or an egghead, as she called him. He said egghead was a perfect description. Nurses came in every so often to check on her, to take her temperature or blood pressure. Her doctor came in once too and confirmed what Ashley had suspected, that she may be in for longer than they first thought but not to worry. It was more of a precaution than anything else.

  After that they opened the lunch Dorothy made for them and Ashley was delighted to see she’d put in little chocolate pudding cups, carrot sticks, and yogurt, along with ham and cheese sandwiches and homemade cookies.

  “This looks like the lunches my nana used to make for me.”

  That was the only tricky moment. She got upset after she said that, but Peter soon distracted her with a chocolate bar and a game of Go Fish.

  Michael came in and sat on the edge of the bed for a while. He told Ashley about the day he and his friends took Peter’s glasses from him and tried to start a grassfire by pointing them at the sun. When they were successful and the neighbour’s coalhouse nearly burned down, they all pointed at Peter and said he started it. Then the man chased them around the block.

  She had a snooze after that, and so did Peter. It was Matt who woke him up. They both quietly left the room so they could talk, but before that Peter’s cellphone rang. It was Gertie.

  “How is she?”

  “She’s fine, just fine. Matt is here now.”

  “Would you mind staying with her for the rest of the day? I can’t leave Bay alone.”

  “Where’s Tansy?”

  “I have no clue. She’s disappeared, but I can’t worry about that right now. Bay is in dreadful shape and she needs me.”

  “Don’t worry about Ashley. The doctors want her to stay here for a while, so she’s not going anywhere. She’s quite happy, for a sad little girl.”

  “Thank you, thank you for this.”

  “It’s all good. Stay with Bay and if I have to come here every day for a month, I will.”

  “You’re done for, Peter Sullivan. There’s no way in hell another woman is going to get her claws into you. Do you hear me?”

  “Message received and understood.”

  Dermot had to stop the shaking first. He took Tansy into the house, put his arm around her, and led her into the kitchen. He made her sit on a chair. “Wait here.” The first thing he grabbed was an afghan off the couch in the living room to wrap around her shoulders. Next he put the kettle on, and after that he looked over at a hamper full of wrinkled clothes and pulled out a pair of thick socks that were fortunately clean. He took off her wet slippers and put the socks on her feet, rubbing them between his hands.

  She didn’t stop shaking, so he pulled her up and held her tightly in his arms.

  “It’s okay now, Tansy. I’ve got you. I’m not going to let anyone hurt you.”

  She never made a sound. He wasn’t even sure if she heard him. The kettle started to boil so he reached over with her still in his arms and poured the water into a mug and added a teabag.

  “Come with me. It’s okay.”

  He slowly walked her out of the kitchen and sat her on the couch, adding another throw around her legs. While the tea steeped he kept his arm around her and waited for the shaking to subside. It took a while. He threw the teabag away and put the mug in her hands so it would warm her fingers.

  “Take a little sip.”

  She obeyed him.

  “Take a couple more.”

  She did.

  “Now, we’ll stay here for a while, okay?”

  Tansy nodded.

  Dermot’s cellphone was within reach, so he picked it up and called Jason to ask him to open the garage and keep an eye on things until he heard from him again, saying it might be a couple of days. Jason said it was no problem.

  After that he was content to sit with her. At one point he thought she’d fallen asleep. It was an hour before she stirred a little and opened her eyes. It was the first time she’d looked at him.

  “You shouldn’t be nice to me.”

  “That’s not possible.”

  She shook her head. “I’m not a nice person. I do bad things and hurt the people I love.”

  “I don’t believe that.”

  “My sister will never forgive me. I need a car to get away. Will you help me?”

  “I’ll help you, Tansy, but you’re in no condition to go anywhere at the moment. You’re welcome to stay here for as long as you need to.”

  Her voice shook a little. “I can’t. I’m supposed to stay away from you.”

  Dermot smiled at her. “You can stay as far away from me as you like. I’ll fix up one of the bedrooms upstairs and you can stay in there and lock the door behind you, if necessary. This is a safe place for you. Please remember that.”

  “If you knew what I did you wouldn’t want me here.”

  “Why don’t you tell me and let me be the judge of that?”

  The first hour Gertie was with Bay, Bay didn’t say a word. The next hour she did nothing but cry. The hour after that she shouted and screamed until she was hoarse.

  “Am I really that stupid, Gertie? So stupid that I believed him when he said he loved me? How could he love me and have an affair with my sister at the same time? I don’t understand it. We were always together, or am I losing my mind?”

  “They didn’t have an affair—”

  “She had his baby! Even I didn’t manage that!”

  “They only did it once.”

  “You only have to do it once to betray someone!”

  “I know.”

  “No, you don’t! And you know what makes me feel really dumb? I’ve been living like a nun my whole life, pining away for him, telling myself all these years that no one could ever replace him. But he sure replaced me when it suited him, didn’t he?”

  “You need to let me tell you what happened.”

  Bay paced up and down the kitchen. “How do you know about all this? Please don’t tell me yo
u knew about this or I really will go out of my mind.”

  “I knew nothing. Tansy told me at the kitchen table last night.”

  “Then why didn’t you scratch her eyes out? Why didn’t you scream at her? I thought you were my friend!”

  Gertie remained calm and slowly revealed the story in fits and starts. Bay would only listen when it suited her. She continued to fly off the handle even as Gertie let Merlin out for a pee. When Gertie made them a couple of grilled cheese sandwiches, Bay threw hers at the far wall. Merlin enjoyed it when he came in. At one point Gertie took a basin of hot water and wrung out a facecloth and made Bay apply it to her face a few times. That actually helped, because Bay was so stuffed up from crying that she couldn’t breathe. Her face was red and blotchy and swollen.

  By the fourth hour she was exhausted. This was the stage Gertie was waiting for. As Bay lay on her bed, wrung out and spent, Gertie brought up a tray. On it was a bottle of water, two extra-strength Tylenol tablets, a mug of creamy hot chocolate, and a plate of oatmeal raisin cookies.

  “This is my favourite prescription. I insist you swallow, drink, and eat all of it.”

  Bay looked at it listlessly. “I can’t eat all those cookies.”

  “I know. I’ll finish them for you.”

  Soon the mug and plate were empty. Gertie saw a slight improvement in her closest friend before Bay nodded off to sleep in spite of herself. Gertie covered her with a quilt and closed the curtains to keep the afternoon daylight from streaming in the window.

  Back downstairs, Gertie did some household chores and put on a load of laundry. Then she made goulash and tea biscuits for supper. She wasn’t worried about Jeffrey. She’d left three bowls filled to the brim with cat chow and a big bowl of water.

  While Bay slept, she and Merlin cozied up together to watch the soaps. This was a rare treat, to be home in the afternoon. She’d called work earlier and said she needed a few days off. Her supervisor didn’t sound too impressed, but Gertie knew if there was a problem Peter would come to her rescue. No doubt he’d install himself in her apartment and look after Ashley there if he had to, while she was at work.

  She rubbed Merlin’s ears. “I’m a lucky woman, Merly. I waited a long time, but this particular man was worth the wait.”

  She and the dog fell asleep at some point, because when Gertie woke up with a kink in her neck, Bay was bundled up in her quilt on the chair across from her.

  Gertie rubbed her neck. “Oh boy, I hate it when this happens. What time is it?”

  “Seven.”

  Gertie sat up. “What?”

  “Sit, Gertie. No wonder you fell asleep. I put you through the wringer this morning.”

  Gertie sat back and wiggled her neck around. “Hell, what are friends for?”

  “Gertie, you’re more than a friend.”

  “Right back at ya, kid.”

  Bay held the quilt up to her chin. “When I woke up, I thought I’d had a nightmare.”

  “That’s understandable,” Gertie smiled sadly. “It’s going to take a while to process twenty years’ worth of history.”

  “I feel…” Bay searched for the right word, “raw. Like someone’s laid me open and trampled on every inch of my body and mind and soul. And now I have to learn to walk again. Everything I knew, I don’t know anymore.”

  Gertie leaned forward on the couch. “Bay, you know the one good thing in all this?”

  “There’s a good thing?”

  “There are a lot of them, but they’ll only come to you in stages. For right now, the good thing is that you and your sister and daughter don’t have to live with any more lies. What’s that hokey old saying? The truth will set you free. I truly believe that. You three will be able to remember that this was done in the name of love, not hate. These decisions were misguided, maybe, but think back to when they were being made. You were all nearly dead from grief. I remember those horrible days. It was like a fog of despair lived in this house, a sad energy that sapped the life out of all of you. It was a terrible thing to witness. They were the worst days of my life.”

  Bay shook her head. “Poor Gertie, I never thought of how it must have been for you. All I remember is that you were always there whenever I needed you.”

  “My therapy was fixing up Ashley’s nursery. I was so happy that a new little life was coming to live in this house.”

  Bay leaned her head back on the chair. “Bobby’s child. Ashley is Bobby’s child. It doesn’t feel real to me, I can’t absorb it. I don’t believe it yet. There’s no emotion when I say those words. Shouldn’t I feel something?”

  “No. You’re still in shock. It will take days, even weeks before it sinks in. It doesn’t matter whose child she is, does it? She’s Ashley and you adore her exactly as she is.”

  “Oh, I do. But Gertie, how do I tell her that Bobby is her father? That sounds silly, but you know what I mean.”

  “I think it will give her a measure of comfort. She’s afraid of who her father might be. To be reassured that Bobby is still her dad can only be a good thing. And don’t worry about telling her, because I will when the time is right.”

  “Did you call the hospital today to see how she was?”

  “Yep. She and Fred are fine. Peter spent the day with her and Matt went over in the afternoon.”

  “Gertie, I keep saying thank you, but it doesn’t adequately express…”

  Gertie got up. “Enough of that. I gotta pee and then I’m dishing out some grub. I don’t know about you, but I’m starving.”

  Bay ate a little supper and had a cup of tea, but she started to fade soon afterwards. Gertie told her to take a hot bath and she’d do the dishes. She’d just finished when Bay called her upstairs. She was out of the tub and in her pyjamas at the end of her bed.

  “Yes, madam?”

  “Where’s Tansy?”

  “I don’t have a clue.”

  “I didn’t think of her all day.”

  “She called me this morning and told me to get over here fast, but she wasn’t here when I arrived. I wonder where she’d go.”

  “Dermot’s.”

  “Dermot’s?”

  “Oh, she conveniently didn’t tell you that part of the story. I’m not surprised. Turns out she and Dermot went to bed together on a couple of occasions before they knew who the other was.”

  “Oh God.”

  “So you see? She insists on sleeping with all the men in my life. What a gal.”

  “Wait a minute. You have that backwards. She was with them first, wasn’t she? In a biblical sense?”

  Bay started to say something and then stopped. She looked confused.

  “Never mind,” Gertie said. “We’ve both had a long day. Let’s go to bed and we’ll talk about it in the morning.”

  “You’re staying here?”

  “If I can find a nightgown that fits me, which I highly doubt.”

  After they said goodnight, Gertie went downstairs and called Dermot.

  “Is she there?” Gertie asked.

  “Yes. She was in quite a state when she arrived.”

  “I can well imagine. Did she tell you what happened?”

  “I know the whole story.”

  “Wonderful, isn’t it?”

  “I think it’s a bloody shame that two young girls were put through that torture for one lousy mistake. And as badly as I feel for Bay, I feel ten times worse for Tansy. She’s been an outcast her whole life because of this. Can you imagine how lonely it’s been for her all these years? I know Bay is hurting, but she did get to live with her mother and her daughter and that’s more than Tansy was allowed to do.”

  “I know. It’s a sad situation, but hopefully between us we can help them recover. Ashley’s safe at the hospital and I’m here with Bay. If Tansy can stay with you for a while, that would help.”

  “I’ve already got her moved into one of the bedrooms upstairs. She cried for most of the day, but she’s finally gone to sleep.”

  “I have to
call Anne tomorrow and tell her Bay won’t be at work for a while. Are you able to stay with Tansy or do you want me to drop by?”

  “By all means come and see her, but I’ve arranged it so I can stay here for a few days.”

  “Perfect. I appreciate it.”

  “At some point,” Dermot sighed, “we need to get Bay and Tansy in the same room.”

  “Preferably before Fred gets here.”

  “Fred?”

  CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

  Everyone stayed in their own corner of the ring for two weeks. That’s how long Ashley spent in the hospital.

  Dermot explained the situation to Tansy as they sat together at his kitchen table.

  “I’ve talked to Gertie and she’s going to stay with Bay, so don’t worry about your sister. I told her that you’re going to be here with me.”

  “What did she say?”

  “She thought it was a good idea.”

  Tansy rubbed her forehead. “There’s so much to sort out. I have to call work.”

  Dermot pointed at her. “There’s no way in hell you’re going back to that diner.”

  “But I need money.”

  “You have the money from your Porsche.”

  “That’s for Ashley and the baby.”

  “Well, you don’t need a damn thing while you’re here with me. I’ll take care of you.”

  “I’ve always looked after myself.”

  Dermot reached across the table and took her hand. “Listen to me. You’ve been on your own for far too long. None of us can get by in this world without leaning on someone from time to time. This is your time. Please take it. I’m your friend. Let me help you.”

  Tansy closed her eyes.

  “I only ask one thing.”

  She looked at him.

  “You can’t leave without telling me. I’ve already had a woman I love walk out the door and never come back. I can’t live through it again.”

  Tansy spent most of the first week asleep in her room across the hall from him. There were days when she was asleep when he went to work and was still asleep when he came home. By the beginning of the second week the dishes were done and his bed was made. Near the end of that week, he came home to his dinner on the table. Nothing fancy, mind you, eggs and bacon and toast, but it tasted great to him. The house was tidy and she did a wash one day, his underwear, socks, and shirts folded on the end of his bed, a small gift for him.