Captured Love

by Juliana Haygert

  Then those blue eyes stared into me, and it was so goddamn hard to step away, to keep a safe distance, to not say anything.

  When I thought nothing could get worse, Officer Mike arrived.

  “I thought you knew better,” he said as Jessica drove away. He sounded more like a concerned uncle than his usual jerk self. “Everything you’ve been through was because of her. Do you want history to repeat?”

  Of course not.

  I also didn’t blame her for what happened to me. I was the one to blame. If I hadn’t hurt her, she wouldn’t have hurt me, setting me on my destructive path.

  I grunted. “What do you care? I thought you would love seeing me get into more trouble.”

  “A little trouble, yes. I wouldn’t mind if you partied until late and arrived late to your community service. That would probably bring you back in front of the judge and you would get one more month of community service. But repeating all the rest? No, Ryan. I may not be your biggest fan, but I’m not that big of a jerk.”

  I stared at him. So, Officer Mike didn’t really hate me. He just wanted to annoy me a little. That was good news actually.

  “I won’t lose control. I won’t let the anger win this time.”

  “That’s what you say, but what if she breaks your heart again? You won’t be able to control your anger then.” He stepped back. “Do yourself a favor and stay away from her, huh?” He saluted me like a soldier before walking out of the garage to his car.

  With my mind reeling, I closed the garage door and ran upstairs to my apartment. If I had any alcohol, I would have drunk it. All of it. Thank goodness, I hadn’t bought any. It was a shame a cold Coke didn’t take the edge off, though, and calm me down. The second best thing was to jump into my car and drive aimlessly, but it was already too late. Even though I didn’t have a curfew on weekends, I didn’t want to get into more trouble. Not unnecessarily.

  Finally, I opted for the third best thing I could think of. A nice hot shower, then a bowl of ice cream while watching wrestling matches on TV.

  My life was so great.

  ***

  Jessica

  I woke up with the banging noises coming from downstairs. I pulled my pillow over my head, willing my body to go back to sleep, but now the memories of the previous night snaked into my mind and I couldn’t shut them off.

  After leaving Ryan’s garage, I drove back to the race, but nobody was there. I called Jason, and he told me Ethan was at our house, waiting for me. When I arrived, the guys grilled me about the talk with Ryan. I told them about Officer Mike showing up and ruining everything. Both of them cursed at that.

  “Why is this officer following Ryan around?” I asked. Jason and Ethan exchanged a strained look. “Whatever. Don’t answer. I’ll find out myself.” I returned the car keys to Ethan and rushed inside the house.

  I went directly to my bedroom, but sleep didn’t come easily.

  The ruckus continued downstairs.

  Groaning, I got up. After a quick shower, I got dressed in jeans and a tank top, and dragged my bare feet to the kitchen.

  “Can’t you let a girl sleep?”

  Aunt Cadence, who was mixing ingredients in a bowl like a tornado, jerked her chin to the clock on the wall. “It’s past ten in the morning. Time to get up, don’t you think?”

  “But it’s a Saturday,” I complained.

  Beside Aunt Cadence, Mama finished a pie and put it in the oven. “Good morning, honey. Lindsey is at the table on the porch with breakfast.”

  At that, my stomach growled.

  I dragged my feet outside. Lindsey smiled when she saw me.

  “Someone had quite a night.”

  I snorted. “I wish.” I sat beside her and reached for a slice of sweet bread. “I just didn’t sleep well.”

  “Hmm.” She served me tea. “I heard you were at the race last night.”

  “Yup.”

  She pouted. “Luke never lets me go.”

  That wasn’t fair. She was seventeen. I started going to these races when I was fifteen.

  “I’ll take you to the next one.”

  She brightened. “Really? You’re the best.” She gave me a quick hug, and I chuckled. “I heard Luke and Ethan won last night. Jason didn’t though.”

  “I only watched Luke’s race,” I said.

  She squinted at me. “Why is that?”

  I bit my lower lip. Damn, I didn’t want to think about it right now. I wanted to enjoy a quiet breakfast and then a nice family lunch, without thoughts that would make me irritated or concerned.

  A nice family lunch.

  But it wouldn’t be the entire family, would it?

  I reached for my phone inside my jeans pocket, and then remembered I didn’t have Luke’s number.

  “Tell me Luke’s phone number?” I asked. With a wary gaze, Lindsey rattled off his number and I dialed. He answered on the third ring.

  “Hello?”

  “Did I wake you up?”

  He didn’t answer right away. “Jess?”

  “Yes. Did I wake you?”

  “No. I have been up for an hour now.”

  “So …” I little embarrassment knotted my stomach, but I pushed through it. “I hope you don’t have plans for lunch, because I was thinking you should come.”

  “A-are you sure?”

  I nodded, even though he couldn’t see it. “Yes.”

  “I’ll be right there.”

  “Okay.” I turned off the call and reached for my tea. Lindsey was gawking at me. “What?”

  She shrugged, dropping it. “Nothing.”

  I smiled and she smiled back.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Jessica

  Lunch wasn’t as odd as it could have been. Luke and I didn’t exchange many words, but at least he was here. I could see in Mama’s and Aunt Cadence’s eyes how relieved they were. Well, I was too. One less thing to heal from.

  After lunch, Lindsey told me about a concert in Columbia she wanted to go to that night, but Luke didn’t want to take her. I knew that too well. When I was young, Jason never wanted to take me anywhere. And if I was at the same party he was, he acted like he didn’t know me, or if there were guys hitting on me, he became the overprotective big brother. So annoying.

  “I’ll take you,” I told her. Rachel had a family dinner, and Sophie had a business event with her father, so until now I was on my own on a Saturday night.

  When I went to pick up Lindsey at her house, I realized she had ambushed me. Brianna, Ryan’s sister, was standing beside her and I didn’t remember her telling me about a friend coming along. Especially not this friend.

  She slid inside the truck with a big, fake smile. “Sorry,” she whispered.

  Brianna slid in next. “Hi, Jess.”

  “Hey, Brianna.” I fixed my gaze on her. “Your parents know where you’re going, right?”

  She didn’t even blink. “Of course.”

  “And your brother?”

  “I think so. Mom and Dad said I could go, so Ryan doesn’t matter.”

  I hoped not. Not that I thought he was going to be at the concert. During lunch, Jason and Luke mentioned going to The Pub to drink and play some pool, so if I had to bet, I would say Ryan was with them. Still, if he heard I took his sister to a concert without their parents’ consent, he would flip and we were already too deep in a mess. I didn’t need more problems to deal with.

  “All right.” I put the truck in drive and stepped on the accelerator.

  The drive to Columbia took twenty minutes, and the girls told me about school—the guys, the bitches, the gossips. Who kissed whom, who cheated on whom, who dumped whom, who was away for the summer, and who wasn’t.

  It was less interesting now that I wasn’t their age, but it was nice to be included. And it was a way of bonding with Lindsey.

  I parked the truck in the parking garage across the street from the place. When Lindsey told me about the concert, I thought it would be at a big venue, or at l
east, somewhere more organized, but it was actually in a big club downtown. I wasn’t too happy about it, but I was determined to enjoy this night. The line at the door was huge, and it took us a half hour to get in the place. After Kristin bothered me for more than two years, I finally got a fake ID last spring break. Lindsey and Brianna, however, didn’t have one and got stamps on their hands, to let bartenders know they were underage. As if that had ever stopped anyone from drinking.

  Once past the bouncer, we descended the stairs and passed under a big archway. It opened to a large room with a dance floor in the center, and tables and high chairs flanking it. To the side, stairs led to the balcony wrapping around the walls. There were two bars, one on the left and one on the right, and a medium-sized stage in the back. Bright, colorful lights blinked from the ceiling and a loud rock ballad blasted through hidden speakers.

  We made our way to the right of the dance floor, and Lindsey spotted some friends from school at a table. I was introduced to Anne Leigh, Phoebe, and her boyfriend, Drew. They pulled two chairs from other tables and all of us were able to sit around the table.

  The group launched into more gossip about their friends and enemies. I excused myself and went to the bar to buy a drink.

  I leaned on the bar counter and the bartender asked what I wanted. “A bud light, please,” I said, showing him my fake ID.

  “Hello there.”

  I snapped my head to the new voice and saw Noah, the Habitat for Humanity supervisor. “Oh, hi,” I said, returning my attention to the bartender.

  He brought my beer over and I paid him quickly.

  “It’s nice seeing you here,” Noah said.

  Not knowing what to say, I nodded then walked back to the table. A guy had taken my place, and he was deep in conversation with Brianna. On the other side of the table, Lindsey took a selfie with her friends. I winced, as if she had been taking a photo of me. Get a grip, Jessica. When would this trauma of pictures go away? Apparently, never.

  I leaned on the back of Brianna’s chair and checked the hour on my cell phone—nine thirty. The concert began at ten.

  I was starting to regret this outing.

  ***

  Ryan

  We didn’t really want to, but Ethan was all about going to that damn concert in Columbia. Apparently, a girl he was flirting with would be there, and he didn’t want to pass up the opportunity to corner her.

  He nudged me with his elbow as we waited in line to enter. “Don’t pretend you’re not dying to get drunk, find some willing girl, and get lost in her bed.”

  I winced.

  I wasn’t like that anymore. Well, not like I was four years ago. Back then, if I could, I would have slept with a different girl every weekend. Now, I only sought girls when the need was too much and my hand didn’t do the job anymore. Even so, every time I had to drink my way to them, and when I left their beds, I didn’t feel satisfied. Actually, I felt worse.

  Inside, Jason, Luke, and I went directly to the bar while Ethan scoured the place for his girl. The guys bought beers and I got a Coke. With our drinks in hand, we leaned on the bar and looked out at the crowd. I saw lots of familiar faces—USC students who liked to party too much, old high school friends, other bike or car racers, my father’s customers—and some that I didn’t know, mostly current high school students.

  “Is it just me, or are we getting too old for this?” Jason asked.

  Luke laughed. “Dude, you both are twenty-three. I’m twenty-two. In my opinion, these kids should be in bed by now and leave the partying to us.”

  “Agreed.” I raised my Coke in a mocking toast and took a sip.

  Noah appeared by my side. “Hey, you. Got out of curfew?”

  I groaned. He knew that my curfew was for weekdays only. “Hey,” I said. “What are you doing here?”

  “It was this or watch a movie at my apartment.” He leaned on the bar beside me. “Besides, I work six days a week. This is the only way to meet the ladies.”

  “Right.” I looked at my friends. Ethan was nowhere to be seen, and Jason and Luke were talking about the next bike show in two weeks. I missed those. I missed riding, racing. I missed the anticipation, the preparation, the adrenaline. I sighed. I missed a lot of things.

  “I already have my eyes on a girl though,” Noah said, drawing my attention back to him. He finished his beer and slapped the empty bottle on the counter. “I’m going to make my move. Wish me luck.”

  He walked into the crowd and I watched him. I pitied the girl who was going to receive his attention. I hoped that she would have some wits and ignore him.

  Noah strolled across the edge of the dance floor and stopped by a table halfway to the stage. He poked the arm of a girl and she turned to him.

  My blood chilled.

  The cup slipped from my hand and broke on the floor between my feet.

  Luke frowned at me. “Dude, what the hell?”

  Teeth gritted, I marched to where Jessica was seated with Brianna and Lindsey, and some idiots falling over them. My rage, the rage I fought so hard to control, was slipping through the cracks, filling my veins, fueling my being.

  A firm hand gripped my upper arm and pulled me back.

  I was ready to punch the sucker, but Jason was ready for that. He deflected my hand, and grabbed my shoulders.

  “Calm down,” Jason said, his eyes on mine.

  “Calm down?” I spat. “Have you seen who is here? My sister. With your sister.” I looked up at Luke over Jason’s shoulder. “Your sister too. And there are guys all over them.”

  “Jessica is twenty. I can’t order her around,” Jason said.

  “Well, Brianna is sixteen. She shouldn’t be here.” I jerked his arm away from me and turned back to the girls’ table.

  Luke halted in front of me. “Dude, just … don’t go all Hulk on them. We can keep an eye on them from here.”

  “I say we’re failing at it already.”

  Jason shook his head. “We did worse things when we were sixteen.”

  “We are guys. We were supposed to do stupid things.” I flinched at my words. I had been the stupidest of all.

  “Dude, I’m with you,” Luke said. “I don’t like seeing them here or the guys fawning over them. But you gotta rein in your anger.”

  “Yeah, Ryan, Luke is right. Please, calm down.”

  Easier said than done. Red blinded me, and all I could think about was punching the guy drooling over Brianna. She was young and pretty and naive, like Jess was at that age, and I knew she was going to have her heart broken not once, but many times. It was part of life. But I wanted to protect her. I couldn’t let a jerk, a jerk like I had been to Jess, ruin her.

  However, as much as I was dying to break that guy’s teeth, I would also have to be crazy to give Noah a black eye. Seeing Brianna out made me too overprotective, insanely so, but seeing Jessica out made me jealous.

  I clenched my fists.

  Pushing past my two best friends, I marched to the table. “Good evening,” I said loud enough to be heard above the pounding music.

  Brianna’s eyes widened, the guy beside her squirmed, and Jessica’s face paled.

  “Ryan.” Noah’s smile fell. “What’s up?”

  I glared at my sister. “Brianna. Come with me.”

  “But I-I …”

  I reached out to grab her arm and pull her with me, but Jessica jumped off her chair and stood in my way. I couldn’t help but notice the way her tight jeans hugged her hips and how the blue backless blouse made her eyes pop even in this dim place. Fuck, she was beautiful.

  She stared me, a hard expression on her pretty face. “She’s here with me.”

  “I don’t care. This isn’t a place for her.”

  Jessica snorted. “Don’t give me that bullshit. She’s not a kid anymore.”

  I leaned closer to her, our faces inches apart. It was hard not to stare at her lips. “I don’t care.”

  She pressed her warm hands on my chest and pushed me away
. “Back off, Ryan. I’m watching her.”

  “You’re doing one hell of a job.”

  “She’s just talking to the guy. Nothing else. I won’t let her sneak off with him or anything like that.”

  “I swear, if she gets hurt in any way.”

  Jessica tilted her head, as if appraising me. “Good to see you actually care about someone.”

  Her words were like a punch to the stomach. If only she knew how much I had cared about her. “I—”

  The band hopped on stage and the vocalist started talking, introducing the band. Good too, because I had no idea what I was about to say to her.

  Focusing my thoughts, I continued, “I’ll be watching.”

  I hoped that she thought I meant I would be watching Brianna, not her. The truth was, I would be watching both.

  I whirled on my heels, glaring at Noah for a second, and then went back to where Jason and Luke stood, ready to intercede if needed. Sometimes I wanted to kick their asses for being all over me, but I knew they meant well. They were protecting me, helping me, and I appreciated that, even if I didn’t say it out loud.

  The three of us went back to the bar.

  “Better now?” Jason asked.

  “Didn’t you say she has a boyfriend?” I asked, still looking at Jessica.

  “I think so.” Jason tilted his head. “If she has a boyfriend or two, it shouldn’t bother you, don’t you think?”

  Grunting, I gestured to the bartender. “Can I get a shot of whiskey?”

  “Not better, then,” Jason said.

  I groaned. “Make that two shots.”

  Chapter Fifteen

  Jessica

  Who did he think he was marching to our table and acting like an overprotective bull? Poor Brianna. Her guy didn’t know where to hide now.