Enlightenment (Children of Ankh series Book 2)
Page 35
Melody covered her mouth and gagged, while mumbling through her fingers, “No eggs…for the love of everything that is holy, shut the lid.”
They both opted for toasted bagels. Melody didn’t want to risk praying to the porcelain god and Kayn knew if she was forced to hold her hair, she’d be right there in the stall next to her in a matter of seconds, no matter how much of his hangover remedy she’d consumed the night before. She’d always been a sympathy up-chucker. Kayn pocketed a few granola bars, knowing she’d be starving before lunch and they sat across the table from each other, stifling their smiles as more seriously rough looking teens staggered in. Suffering through the consequences of partying was the only way to fully understand the hell you had to endure the next day. Melody wanted to go and cower in the darkness for a little while longer so they split up after breakfast. With trashy romance novel in hand, Kayn ventured out in search of the field she’d passed on the way to breakfast, intending to hide there by herself for a little while and read. There it was…her tiny slice of heaven. It was the place she’d gravitated to when they first arrived at the campsite. That’s what she needed today. Just a tiny moment to Zen herself out and forget about all that ailed her. She maneuvered through the barbwire fence, found the perfect spot and made herself comfortable in the field of clover and buttercups. After a few hours of delving into her book, Kayn decided she was still hungry. She began trying to open one of the granola bars she’d smuggled out of the banquet hall. It felt like she was attempting origami, while struggling to open the package. Her elevator definitely wasn’t going to make it to the top floor today. Talk about adult proof wrapping. She began gnawing at the indestructible foil with her teeth. It was a good thing that she was completely alone. She opened it, took a big bite and smiled as she devoured it. It felt like a random lunch time at school. She actually missed school. She stretched out on her back in the grass and squinted in the sunlight. While shielding her eyes with her hands, Kayn tried to make out the clouds above her but it was too bright. She closed her eyes just as a shadow appeared above her and opened them in the shade caused by the party pooper. Of course, it was him standing there.
With concern in his eyes, Kevin said, “I don’t mean to be rude but what in the hell are you doing? This field is chock full of bees.”
Kayn wanted to question him as to why he thought she shouldn’t be here because she’d been allergic to bees when he had known her last. Did he remember that? Now she was curious. Why was he here?
“I have plans to spend the day reading and staring at the clouds. By myself.” Kayn replied, while squinting up at him. She gave him an innocent smile. She could be the bigger person. She’d be nice to him. They were stuck in this campsite for a whole week together.
“Okay, I’ll bite,” he teased. Kevin’s look alike sat down in the grass. He stretched out on his back beside her.
“You didn’t use to bite,” Kayn rebutted.
He rolled over and playfully nipped at her shoulder with his teeth. She didn’t move away or flinch. Her heart flickered with hope. That was something the old version of Kevin would have done.
Responding as she would have before, Kayn scowled and complained, “Dude, you actually bit me hard... that hurt,” while rubbing her arm, feigning injury.
“Seriously?” Kevin replied, looking a bit worried.
He thought he’d hurt her. Kayn grinned and teased, “Well, that still works on you.”
“Ha-ha, funny,” Kevin sparred as he continued to look up at the clouds.
It was easy to make out a few of the puffy white masterpieces in the sky. This had always been one of her favorite pastimes. It had been Chloe’s too but she’d never been sure if Kevin had loved it or if he’d come along because it was what they wanted to do. It was a perfect example of her heaven. It was for her, a simple defining act of a peaceful spirit. The ability to lie amidst a field of buzzing, furry bumble bees while trusting they understood that she wasn’t there to disturb them. For a second she allowed her heart to believe that nothing had changed. It was just the two of them against the world. The air was thick with the rapturous scents of impending summer. She inhaled the luxurious mix of the wild flowers and sweet blades of lush grass. “So, that one is quite obviously an eagle,” Kayn announced, pointing above them at the fluffy mass to the left.
“I don’t see it,” Kevin replied while squinting. “It’s too bright. How are you not dying right now?”
He hadn’t had Frost’s special anti-hangover treatment. He was being a trooper, playing the cloud game while hung over. “No… Look.” Kayn reached over and moved his arm, so he could see what she was looking at. “See, there’s the beak and those are the wings,” she explained.
“Oh, okay. I see it,” He replied, while grinning.
She glanced over at him and as she did, she saw a vision of him as a child with a messy mass of dark curls. He was about eight years old and they were swinging side by side on the swing set in her backyard. She blinked and tried to see it again but the vision was gone.
“Okay, let me do one,” Kevin exclaimed as he scanned the sky above them. He said, “I know what that one looks like but I promised I was going to keep this G rated.”
Who had he promised that to? Maybe, she didn’t want to know. She started to laugh as she realized what he’d seen in the clouds. She’d missed him. Kayn plucked a flower from the grass as she said, “I have a funny story about man parts for you.”
“Um, okay,” Kevin replied. He appeared a little shocked but also intrigued enough to hang on her next words waiting for the rest of the story.
“Not from now you moron, from when we were kids. We were both in Mrs. Burnett’s class in grade three. We were drawing them in class and showing each other,” she explained.
“Chloe told on us when she got up to go to the bathroom. We were going to be in so much trouble. The teacher was walking up to our desks. I looked at you and whispered, “Quick! Draw windows on them.” We were scribbling windows on page after page of male genitalia super-fast when she grabbed my paper.” Kayn mimicked her teacher’s British accent as she continued the story, “Miss Brighton! I am completely disturbed by this! Proper young ladies do not draw naughty bits! You innocently looked up and said, ‘But Mrs. Burnett, we are drawing airplanes.’ You showed her all your pictures. She got all embarrassed, apologized profusely and Chloe got in trouble for making up stories.”
He grinned as he looked up at the sky and whispered, “Tell me something else.”
Kayn looked at him as she replied, “Well, this boy was stealing your lunch every day. I pushed him off a bench for you. You were mad at me for weeks.
“Why would you have to push some kid for me?” Kevin asked while grinning.
“Well, you were short, a bit awkward and pretty dorky for a while,” she explained. “I was a couple heads taller than you were. You used to get so mad over short jokes. You used to say things like, ‘Quit mocking me Amazonian woman.’ You were totally hilarious. Well, to me…” Kayn answered, while smiling to herself.
“Okay… I was short as a kid. Lots of people are short.” Kevin stated. “Is that why your sister never went out with me? Was it because I was short? I apparently liked her forever… Not you, right? “Kevin asked, gauging her response.
Ouch. Kayn sucked her reaction to the direct hit in and sparred, “We were geeky, zombie loving, Star Trek Fans. You had acne all over your face for three, maybe four years. There were probably eight million reasons she didn’t want you back.”
Kevin threw a giant handful of grass at her. He chuckled and said, “Why would I even want to remember this wonderful past of mine? It sounds like I was a giant dork who couldn’t get laid to save my life and Chloe, the girl I was desperately in love with, didn’t even know I existed.”
He couldn’t have worded that sentence worse. She sighed, “Why are you here? Why are you laying here acting like you care after the way you treated me at the track?”
Kevin rolled over, pro
pped himself up on his side and said, “I’m sorry about that night. It was a lot to take in. I had just found out that not only were you a real person but you belong to another clan. I’d spent a lot of time trying to shove my emotions down and you hugged me. I can’t even remember being hugged before. If you’ll let me, I’d like to spend the next week trying to make you forget about that. I want to know who you are. I’d like to know who I was before all of this crap.”
This was a horrible idea but she needed to move past him and there was only one way to do it. She had to wade right through the emotions as they surfaced. Logic prevailed. Kayn replied, “Fair enough. I can do that for you.”
“Thank you,” he said, breaking the angst filled moment by grabbing for her book and looking at the steamy cover. He turned it over, read the back and teased, “I’m mortified young lady. Is this Vampire porn?”
She tried to snatch it away from him as she countered, “It’s a frigging romance novel!” They wrestled in the grass until she had him pinned down with her knees on his shoulders.
He started whimpering, “Ouch. Damn it. That hurts. Okay… I give up.”
She gazed into his eyes. It was going to be difficult to remember that he wasn’t the Kevin she adored if he kept acting like he was. Needing to defuse the romantic feel of the situation, she dropped a handful of grass on his face.
He blew it away from his mouth, placed both of his hands in a familiar way on her hips and seductively whispered, “It’s going to be difficult to keep this G-rated if you keep pinning me down like this. It’s remarkably hot.”
Embarrassed, she climbed off of him. Her inner dialogue was always getting her into trouble. She whispered, “You shouldn’t listen to my thoughts.” She laid back down beside him in the grass. This was extremely confusing. Her eyes saw him there and her heart felt him, but he wasn’t really there. She had to get to know this version of him from scratch. She could tell that he sensed her confusion.
“Was I happy with my life?” He questioned while gazing at the sky.
She kept staring at the clouds while willing the tears forming in the corners of her eyes to disappear. Another vision of him flashed through her mind…He was running beside her. When she recalled the past, he was always beside her. A breeze danced across the surface of her skin. She could almost feel Winnie’s gentle touch and hear her sweet voice whispering the words ...Be strong. After a moment of silence her bearing on what was real and what was not, had been restored. She responded to his question, “We were happy ... You were happy. We had each other and that’s all that mattered.”
“We haven’t had each other for the last year and a bit. Have you been alright without me?” He asked, while looking at her.
The low dull aching in her heart began again. She was treading in dangerous emotional water. Of course, he was going to have questions…Perhaps, it was time to lay out a few ground rules. She answered him honestly before doing so, “At first it was horrible. Once I started to develop my relationships with Zach and Melody I felt a sense of purpose… That helped.”
Kevin was silent for a moment before saying, “Maybe, we should stay away from the deep end of the pool.”
She nodded in agreement as she rolled onto her stomach in the grass and began gently playing with the head of a dandelion, without plucking it out of the ground or puckering up her lips and blowing the tiny floating seeds into the air. She had respect for the fact that it was as delicate and weak as her best friend was making her feel. If he decided to say something cruel or hurtful, it felt like her heart would disintegrate into the wind. What was she doing laying here with him?
“So, you obviously had a crush on me first?” Kevin teased as he playfully tossed another handful of grass at her.
He was attempting to lighten up the conversation in the same way he would have before she’d lost him to Triad. With familiar words and mannerisms, he had reached inside of her heart and made her want to believe. “Oh, good lord... no,” Kayn laughed as she threw some back.
He’d diffused the tension with comedy by saying, “Thanks a lot. Are you trying to give me some kind of complex?” He grew quiet.
She sensed he was also trying to figure things out for himself. Kayn explained, “No... We were best friends. I didn’t really think about you as more until after my Correction. Your abilities were also triggered that night. When I came out of the hospital, it felt like it was always meant to happen between us. It was a natural progression.” Her words summoned the low dull ache of his loss to radiate through her being once again. He was right here lying beside her. He didn’t remember her... not really. Once again, she wondered why she was helping him at the expense of her own heart?
“So, did we ever... you know… before we were separated?” He enquired, while stared at her.
He was wondering if she would tell him the truth. She could see it in his eyes. She answered him honestly, knowing he didn’t expect the truth from her, “We wanted to but we didn’t get the chance. Everything happened so quickly. At first, we were both with Ankh and then you were taken by Triad. We were given the chance to say goodbye and we had one last moment together in the in-between.” She paused before adding, “You swore you would never be able to forget me.” She stared at the fluffy dandelion again. He leaned over, puckered up his lips and blew the fluffy dandelion’s head. Hundreds of tiny white parachutes flew up into the air and travelled away on the wind. She glared at him as he grinned back at her. His actions had been humorously ironic. She’d been using that dandelion as a solid representation of her heart. She searched in his eyes for an indication that he’d remembered something…Anything? He was curious, but her Kevin had not miraculously returned.
“I obviously underestimated my grandfather’s ability, didn’t I?” He stated. “I saw you with that Frost guy on the couch last night. It doesn’t look like you waited for me either.”
They were both staring at one lone headless dandelion stem in the sea of grass. Kevin plucked it out of the ground and tossed it aside. It felt like a hostile reaction to seeing her with someone else. She entertained the thought of picking him up and tossing him aside. Did he know he was sending her a crazy amount of mixed messages? She only had a small amount of patience left for this conversation. She’d give him a few more minutes of the information he was seeking before she took her leave from this mental torture. Kayn replied, “It’s not that simple. Chloe’s spirit is inside of me. She was in love with Frost. There is something between us. I'm not going to pretend there isn't, but it hasn’t been fully acted on.”
“We can smell our own Kayn,” Kevin said as he sat up. He looked straight into her eyes as he grilled, “What do you mean by fully?”
“Why do you care?” Kayn probed. He was quite obviously jealous of her infatuation with Frost. He was irritated, but why? He didn't remember what they meant to each other.
“So, you’ve been intimate with him then?” Kevin pushed.
Kayn crossed her legs in front of her and covered her face with both hands as she replied, “What do you want me to say? This is all intensely personal information you’re asking. Why would I tell you?”
Kevin shook his head and apologized, “Listen… I’m sorry. I can’t tell you why it’s important. I’ve been asking the questions my gut instinct is telling me to ask. It bothered me to see you on the couch with that player last night. I don’t know if it was jealousy or just the instinct to look out for you. I’m just trying to figure things out in my mind. I appreciate your help. I really do. I know you don’t have to do this.”
Kayn knew how important this conversation would be to be to her in the future. She needed there to be nothing left unsaid. She confessed, “I always had it in the back of my head that my first time would be with you.”
He seemed to be taken aback by her words as he whispered, “You expect me to believe that you waited for me all this time?”
She gave him her emotional confession, “I’m not going to lie to you. I thought I was ready to
move on. When it came right down to it, I couldn't. A part of me was always waiting for you.”
Overpowered by the raw honesty of her words, it took him a moment to reply, “How’s Frost taking us spending a week alone together?”
She could tell once again he was watching for her reaction more than for her actual answer. “He made sure I knew that he wouldn’t be behaving himself while he was gone,” she replied.
Kevin smiled and said, “Right…He probably wanted you to tell him he didn’t have anything to worry about so he could put his mind at ease.”
“This is Frost we’re talking about, I’m actually free to figure out this situation with you,” Kayn assured.
“You’re assuming I think we have something to figure out,” he sparred.
She attempted to stand up. There’s the douche version of Kevin. I’d almost forgotten about him.
He grabbed her wrist and started apologizing, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it the way that it sounded. Forgive me?” Once again, he was staring into her eyes silently pleading for another chance.
Kayn glanced down at his hand, knowing she should just shake him off and walk away, while she still had control over her emotions. Kayn calmly replied, “You were my best friend. That’s the only reason I’m still here. Start thinking about what you say before it comes out of your mouth. I’m not going to allow myself to be hurt by you.”
Kevin released her wrist and said, “Fair enough.” He plucked some grass, glanced at it and tossed it behind him.
There he was. She smiled as she pointed out, “That picking the grass, looking at it and throwing it behind you thing… You’ve done that since you were a kid.”
He quit doing it as he shifted onto his side and said, “See, it’s those things that I need to know. I need to know who I was before I became this person. It feels like it’s important. By helping me do that, you’ll be dredging up old emotions for yourself. You must have loved me a lot to be willing to do this.”