The things we do for love.
Page 5
“Oh that’s right, make me out to be crazy. I am the bad one.” She huffed.
“No, but you need help. I can’t cope anymore.” She told her sister.
“Because I am such a burden to you.” Faye scorned.
“Faye.” Cassie tried.
“No, no. I understand. You like him more than you like me. He’s your favourite.” She sneered.
“Oh for heaven sake, grow up.” Cassie shouted.
“I saw the way you were looking at him in the court room.” She taunted. “Don’t try to deny it.”
“You don’t know what you are talking about.”
“Yes I do, you think I am blind? You looked at him like you wanted to get naked with him. All fluttering eyelashes, pink cheeks and breathless words.”
“Faye.” Cassie felt her cheeks grow warm.
“See I am right, aren’t I?” She told her smugly, an ugly sneer sitting on her lips. “You wouldn’t want him. He’s not all that you know. You should stick to your own class of men.”
Faye could be vile and nasty when she chose to be. Another thing Cassie hated about her sister. When she felt as though she had been backed into a corner she came out fighting.
“Faye that’s enough.”
“He wouldn’t want you anyway.” She laughed. “I mean look at you for heaven’s sake.”
“This isn’t about that. This is about your behaviour.” Cassie tried to keep the conversation on what it really was about and not let Faye side track her.
“Anyway, I got there first.” Faye threw at her.
Cassie knew that her sister was lying but, even so, she felt a savage kick inside at her sister’s cruel revolting words.
“I am tired of cleaning up your mess.” She told her sister.
“You promised Mum that you would take care of me.” Faye told her. “On her death bed you promised.”
Here it came, right on schedule. That huge dose of guilt tripping that Faye so loved when she knew she was losing. Cassie sighed deeply.
“Yes I did.”
“She told you to look after me. To be there for me.”
“But that doesn’t…”
“Are you saying that you lied to her. That you lied to a dying suffering woman.” Faye’s voice rose shrilly.
“Faye. That is enough.” Cassie felt the bitter sting of tears in her eyes and the moistness of them on her eyelashes.
“How do you live with yourself?” Faye scorned. “Knowing that you looked her in the eye and lied to her.”
“I did not lie Faye. And looking after you and cleaning up after you are two different things. And, it does not give you the right to behave the way you do.” Cassie told her.
“O, here it comes. I am better than you. Look how I behave.” Faye shouted angrily. “You should be more like me. Blah, blah.”
“I have never said that to you.”
“You are always having to play mother. Isn’t that right sis? Well I am not putting up with it.”
“I wouldn’t mind not putting up with your bad childish behaviour either.” Cassie threw back at Faye.
“You are my sister not my mother.” She raged.
“Then perhaps you should act your age.”
“Oh get off your high horse. Who died and put you in charge anyway.”
“Mum did.” Cassie threw at her, she regretted them the minute they were out. She did not mean them, but Faye pushed her to her absolute limit. She wasn’t a saint after all and there really was only so much she could tolerate. she had had her fill of it.
“That wasn’t her fault.” Faye threw at her. “And it still does not give you the right to run my life for me.”
“Then stop running to me every time you screw up. Next time fix it yourself.” Cassie told her.
“I hate you. I hate the way you think you have the right to act like my mother.” Faye screamed the words hysterically.
“If you acted your age then I wouldn’t have to act like our mother.” Cassie threw back at her. “You think I enjoy that?”
“Huh… why in the world you would want to be like her is beyond me. She was nothing more than a dirty filthy drunk.”
Chapter 7.
The sound of a hard slap echoed through the air. Silence descended around the two women.
Cassie stared at her sister, horrified as she heard Faye whimper. It was only then that she realised that she had slapped Faye across the face.
Cassie could feel the sting of it on her palm and she took a step back as she watched Faye bring up a hand to cover her cheek.
What had she done? Cassie silently shook her head as she watched Faye rub at her cheek.
“Faye. I am so sorry.” Cassie started, she had never hit her sister before. She had felt close to it many times but she had never done it. Not a single time.
Faye turned her face to look back at her sister. They stared at one another for many long moments. Faye’s eyes glittering angrily at her, menace beginning to take shape.
“Did that make you feel better?” Faye asked her bitterly.
“No, of course not.” That was a lie, Cassie knew.
In a sudden spurt of frenetic anger Faye picked up a mug on the side and threw it at Cassie. Cassie turned and hunched her back as she felt the mug hit her under her shoulder blade and then it crashed down on to the floor.
Then another hit her. She wrapped her arms around her head and hunched over even more in a bid to protect herself. Another mug hit her and she cried out. That one had hurt.
Faye stopped and Cassie waited another minute just to make sure that it was over before straightening up and turning back to face her sister.
“Did that make you feel better?” She asked her.
“Much better.” Faye told her without any hesitation and no hint of remorse.
They stared at one another for several moments. And then Faye slumped her shoulders. “I’m sorry.” She said.
“Are you?” she knew that she wasn’t she was just saying it because she thought that’s what Cassie wanted to hear and nothing more.
“I guess. A little.” She shrugged. Well, she supposed that was the best she could hope for and so she accepted the apology.
“Me too.” She said as she sat down on the chair and stared at her sister. “Oh, Faye what am I going to do? I can’t take on extra work. I’ve already taken on as much as I can. There is only so many hours in a day you know.”
“Oh Cassie.” Faye ran over and hugged her sister. “I am so very sorry. I don’t mean...” she sighed.
“Oh Faye.”
“I don’t set out to do those things.”
“They happen by accident.” Cassie said.
“Yeah, they just kinda happen.”
“Of course they do.” How else would they happen? Cassie sighed wearily.
“I always regret it the minute I’ve done it, honest I do.” Faye tried placating her sister again.
“That doesn’t make what you do right.” Cassie sternly told her sister.
“I know, I just...” her voice trailed off.
“I just wish you would think before you acted.” Cassie sighed deeply and rested her head in her hands. She was getting a headache. It was bubbling away in the background.
“Perhaps I have a solution.” Cassie huffed but said nothing.
“What could resolve all this?” Cassie asked her bitterly.
“Well.” Something about the way she said that one word had Cassie’s heart beating painfully and sadly in her chest.
“Go on.” She prompted.
“I was going to talk to you about something. Perhaps now isn’t the best time to bring it up but...” Faye’s voice died away and Cassie looked back up at her.
“Yes…”
“...Or maybe this is the perfect time to bring this up.” Faye shrugged.
“Don’t tell me. You’ve caused more damage.”
“No...”
“You’ve angered another rich man and he’s taking us to court for all we have.”
Cassie rubbed her forehead with a hand wearily. “Correction he’s taking us to court for money we don’t have.”
“No.” There was an awkward silence for a moment before Faye said quietly. “Dad called.”
“What.” Cassie exploded. This really was the last straw.
“I know.”
“How, when, why.” Cassie tried.
“Just here me out please.” Faye begged.
“There’s nothing you could say.” Cassie told her. “Not about that subject anyway.”
“Cass please, just listen.” Faye tried again.
“Why would you have anything to do with him?” she asked.
“He’s our father.”
“Huh.” Cassie said. “As if today isn’t bad enough, you have to spring this on me as well.”
“Cassie, please just listen.” Cassie shook her head.
“What did he want?” She asked but Cassie didn’t care what he wanted, not really. He had walked out on them and their mother when they had been very young, he had made his choice and had never looked back.
“I’ve been talking with him for a while now and he has invited me to go out to spend some time with him. He’s asked lots of times but I’ve always told him no.” Faye shrugged. “Maybe it’s a good idea to say yes.”
Cassie looked up disbelievingly. How long was a while? Why hadn’t she talked to Cassie about it until now?
“And you want to? Say yes, that is.” she asked her sister as she searched her face. Faye nodded her head vigorously.
“Don’t think of me as a traitor.” Faye pleaded. “I just... this is good for both of us. I’ll be out of your hair for a while you know, let things calm down a bit.” Faye smiled a hollow little smile.
This couldn’t be happening? Faye had been talking with their father and she hadn’t talked to her about it. She had kept that from her. And now she wanted to go and visit him. That was a bad idea. But then, maybe. She stopped that train of thought. It was a bad idea. But what if it wasn’t? What if this would be good for Faye? Cassie sighed deeply.
“Yes but…”
“It’s not like I will be on my own.”
“Faye, we don’t know him.” Cassie tried to make her see sense.
“He is our father.”
“Who left us. What if…” Cassie stopped.
“I am sure that Dad can mop up any mess I get myself into.”
“Don’t even joke.” She chastised sternly.
“Cass, you need a break. Even I can see that.”
“Stop doing the things that you do. That would be break enough.”
“This is a good thing.” Faye reassured her.
“I can’t stop you but...” Cassie suddenly felt alone and bereft. “I think this is a bad idea.” She sighed. “And, I guess you’re not going to the ends of the earth.”
“Actually…”
“Actually… what?”
“Dad lives in Australia.” Faye promptly informed her.
“Australia.” Cassie gasped.
“Cassie, you know I love you but you need a break.”
“But.”
“And I need to find myself, if that makes any sense to you.” Faye smiled. “Dr Pearson is right, you know.” He was? Wow what an admission.
“About what?”
“Mopping up after me does me no favours.” Faye put an arm about her shoulders. “And you never know, with me out of the way… well…”
“It could never be.” Cassie told her.
“I know I made things difficult but. Well you know. I didn’t mean the horrible things I said to you. You are very beautiful and Luke would be lucky to have you.”
“Fat chance. He’s met you.” Cassie said sadly.
“We’ll see.” Faye told her confidently but Cassie said nothing, there was very little point.
“Faye.” She stopped and sighed heavily.
Faye was right about some things. Cassie was tired and yes she could do with the break but she wasn’t sure whether Faye going to stay with their father half way round the world would provide that.
Their mother had never really had a good word to say about the man, and Cassie had never met him, nor had Faye come to that.
But then, as Faye had pointed out, their mother had been a dirty drunk. More interested in getting her hands on another bottle of drink than what her kids were getting up to.
Or getting her hands on another man that she could move in without any regard as to whether they would be suitable, or safe, to have around two young girls. There had been a couple of close calls, more than a couple.
Faye and Cassie had stuck together though, making sure that they never left each other alone with any of Mum’s new romantic interest.
Luckily most of the men their mother had seen were all alcoholics, or drug takers, just like her so they had spent most of their time passed out too.
Which suited the two girls just fine, one less thing for them to worry about for a while. Life had been tough for both of them. But, they had made the best of it.
“Here” Faye held out an envelope. “It’s some money to go towards paying for my mistakes. It’s not much but hopefully it will help. I am sorry you know. I don’t mean to get so cross with people. I don’t mean to cause trouble for you.”
Cassie reluctantly took the envelope and smiled sadly at her sister. “This is for the best, at least for now.” Faye tried to placate her.
“Faye please.” Cassie tried.
“Cass, please. We need some time apart and you need some time for things to settle down. I know you don’t believe this but I worry about you.
You are looking awfully ill just recently, and I know I am to blame for that.” Faye told her sister, and her voice even sounded genuine.
But Cassie knew Faye better than that. She was just saying what she needed to say to get her own way. Just as she always did.
“Gee thanks, sis. It’s so nice that I can count on you to make me feel so much better about myself.” She grumbled.
“We both know it’s true.” Faye told her.
Maybe, just maybe, it was a good thing that her sister wanted to go away for a while. As much as she didn’t want it, Cassie acknowledged, that it would give her a chance to clean up this latest catastrophe without the worry of what Faye might be up to whilst her back was turned.
And Faye wouldn’t be on her own, she would be with their father. So he could chaperone her for a while and deal with the consequences. He might even be able to straighten her out a little.
Though Cassie doubted that, she had been trying for years to no avail. But there was always hope, she guessed.
“Looks like I can’t stop you. It would seem you have already made up your mind.” She began. “When were you thinking of going?” Cassie asked.
Faye shuffled about and then heaved a sigh into the silence of the room.
“Well...” she took a step away. “The thing is…” She stopped and Cassie looked up and raised her eyebrows at her.
“The thing is what?”
“Um.” Faye screwed up her face.
“Don’t tell me you want to borrow money for the plane ticket?” Cassie guessed.
“I have a plane ticket.”
“Where did you get the money for that?” Cassie asked her.
“Dad.” Fair enough, Cassie decided. He had not supplied anything else for them over the years. A plane ticket was the least he could do.
“So, when were you thinking of going?”
“Tomorrow morning.” Faye blurted out.
“Tomorrow.” Exclaimed Cassie in shock.
“I know its short notice.” Faye fidgeted.
“You have had this planned for a while.” Cassie guessed correctly. She knew that she was right by the look on her sister’s face.
“A little while, yes.”
“Were you going to tell me before you got on a plane. Or was you going to wait until I missed you?” Cassie asked her sister sarcastically.
“Sorry. I’ve
been talking to Dad for over a year.” She admitted to Cassie.
“A year...”
“And I’ve had the plane ticket for a couple of weeks.”
“When was you going to tell me?” She asked her.
Faye reached into the pocket of her cardigan and pulled out another envelope and handed it to Cassie. “What’s this?”
“The note I was going to leave you tomorrow.” Faye admitted.
Cassie stared down at the white envelope for a few moments before she looked back up to her sister.
“You were leaving me a dear John letter.” Cassie couldn’t believe it. Was this how much her sister actually thought of her, or how little as the case maybe.
“I was going to leave it with a box of chocolates.” Faye placated.
“Oh, oh okay then. That makes it all okay.” Cassie told her in a sarcastic tone and she sighed heavily.
“They are your favourites.” Faye’s voice took on a cajoling tone.
“You wasn’t even going to tell me? You were just going to up sticks and leave. Letting me worry about you. Wondering if you are okay.” Cassie ignored the pleading notes in her sister’s voice.
“I thought it better that way.” Faye defended quickly.
“For who? You or me?” Cassie demanded angrily.
“Sis. I am sorry. When I get back perhaps I will see the doctor.” She shrugged. “About… you know. Or see someone out there with Dad.”
“Really?” Cassie asked, not sounding convinced. Faye nodded. At least that was a start. Cassie had been trying for years.
“Really, I promise. Dad said that perhaps I could see a doctor over there. he’s been talking to someone.” Faye shrugged.
“So you haven’t listened to me all these years but you will listen to a perfect stranger.” Cassie felt the sting of betrayal in her gut.
“He is our father.” Faye told her.
“The man abandoned us to our fate. We would not have been through half of what we have been through if had he been here.” Cassie pointed out to her sister.
“Yes well, Dad has had a lot to say about the subject this past year. You should listen to what he has to say before you pass judgement.”
“So you have been talking to Dad for a year.” She prompted, pushing the rest of Faye’s words from the conversation. There was no excuse their father could come up with as far as she were concerned.