For the Love of Beard

by Lani Lynn Vale

  “I know that, Tobias,” she said through what sounded like gritted teeth. “But they have an opening, and if I don’t do it today, then I won’t get to see the baby for a whole two weeks since we’re going on our honeymoon tomorrow.”

  I gave up.

  She’d been talking about this for days, about how excited she was to see the baby. The baby that we’d started working on no less than three weeks ago. Which was funny, since she was now eight weeks pregnant.

  Audrey’s best guess was that her birth control shot had worn off before it was supposed to, and she apologized. I’d, of course, been ecstatic.

  “Fine,” I said. “But you know that if we go, that I’m going to see you before the wedding, and all that bullshit about me sleeping alone last night was for nothing, right?”

  That had been what bothered me the most. I’d wanted to sleep with Audrey in my arms, just like we’d done since we’d gone on the cruise together. She’d, however, won that argument. And I’d slept alone for the first time in a very long time.

  It sucked.

  I missed her stealing the blankets. I missed her rolling over until she was snuggled up to my side, only to roll back over moments later—with the covers.

  Needless to say, I hadn’t gotten much sleep last night, and I was now in a grumpy mood.

  “Come pick me up in five minutes,” she ordered.

  I rolled my eyes and grabbed my keys.

  “Where are you going?” Reed and Finley asked at the same time, both of them seated on my couch and eating out of a bag of potato chips that was on the cushion in between them.

  “Apparently, Audrey was able to finagle an appointment today.”

  “But you’re getting married today.”

  I gave Reed a look that clearly said what I was feeling.

  Reed started to laugh.

  “Have fun.”

  “I hope you see twins.”

  I flipped him off. “One is all I’m hoping to see today.”

  Forty-five minutes later, I was in a state of utter and complete shock.

  “You’re fucking kidding, right?” I licked my lips carefully, trying not to betray my rising panic.

  The doctor, who’d been really cool with me and my misgivings at the last doctor appointment, shook his head. “Nope. There’s one. There’s two. There’s three.”

  I felt lightheaded, and I lost feeling in my face as he pointed them out.

  And then I fainted. Like a little fucking bitch.

  When I came to, Audrey was leaning over the side of the bed looking at me.

  Her eyes were wide, and she was staring at me like I’d surprised her.

  “Are you okay?”

  I thought about that for a moment.

  My head hurt, and I was laying on a floor covered with stuff that I probably didn’t want to be laying in, seeing as it was a OB/GYN’s office, and I was about to have three kids at the same time.

  “I don’t think so.”

  She nodded like she knew exactly what I was talking about.

  “I don’t think I am either,” she admitted. “I think this might very well kill us.”

  I started to laugh, and then curled up until I was sitting up, just inches from her face.

  “We’ll figure it out, honey,” I told her honestly. “Surely, with you being a nurse, we won’t completely fuck this up.”

  She started to laugh. “I guess this is what you get for telling everyone you only wanted two kids.”

  I thought about that.

  A week ago, when my family had first started to trickle in for the wedding, I’d told my mom that we were not having more than two kids. I hated being one of nine, and there was no way on God’s green earth that I was going to do what my parents did.

  My mom had looked at me, pointed her finger, and said, “You will give me a lot of grandbabies.”

  And I’d said, “Bullshit Mama.”

  “Serves me right, eh?”

  Her smile was sweet. “Let’s go get married.”

  ***

  3 hours later

  Audrey

  “Oh, my God,” I whispered frantically. “He’s going to absolutely kill me.”

  Mina looked at me, then started to laugh.

  “He really is. But this will be the most epic wedding video ever. Why are you doing this again?” Mina asked, eyeing my outfit.

  I scratched my head as I tried not to burst into laughter.

  “Well, at first, I was freaking out because I couldn’t fit into my dress anymore, because of this,” I pressed both hands to my waist and pushed lightly. “Since my one-thousand-dollar wedding dress didn’t fit anymore, I thought, well hell, I might as well just go buy a cheap dress to wear since Tobias and the rest of the crew won’t be dressed up.”

  I pointed to Mina’s dress, which she’d produced from her closet. So, there was no need to go out and get fittings on her bridesmaid’s dress.

  Our wedding wasn’t a formal affair. We wanted everyone to be comfortable. We wanted everyone to have fun, and above all else, we wanted this day to be remembered.

  What we didn’t want to do was put dress code on the event. Everyone wore whatever he or she wanted to wear.

  “Okay, well that still doesn’t explain this.” She gestured to my outfit.

  “Anyway, so I got a different dress.” I zipped the costume up over my dress and shrugged my shoulders. “And since he’s already seen me in it, I decided to put this to good use.”

  Mina shook her head.

  “Just because he’s seen you in the dress, doesn’t mean that he got to see you in the full get-up,” she said. “You can take this off. I think it’s ruining your hair.”

  I shrugged, and the movement caused the entire outfit to shift. “I honestly don’t care. I’m doing this.”

  Mina just shook her head and started to argue more, but she was interrupted by a deep, impatient male voice.

  Since my father was an asshole and in prison, he couldn’t walk me down the aisle. But I wouldn’t have allowed him to walk me down the aisle anyway. That’s what happened when you mistreated your kids, though. They didn’t want to be around you any longer.

  There was a point when love couldn’t save your relationship anymore, and learning all that my father had done to not just me, but my brother, had been enough for me to wipe him from my life completely.

  Hence where this awesome man came in.

  “You ready…” Silas trailed off. “Jesus Christ.”

  I looked down at the inflatable T-Rex costume I was wearing, and grinned. “Is he going to kill me?”

  Silas took in my appearance. “Probably.”

  I shrugged. “Let’s do this.”

  “Tell me again why Tunnel isn’t doing this?” Silas questioned.

  I started to laugh. “Tobias and I had a rock, paper, scissors match to see who got him. He won.”

  “Hey, old man.”

  I looked up, surprised to see my brother standing there. “What are you doing here?”

  “What are you wearing?” he countered.

  I looked down at my T-Rex outfit, and shrugged. “He already saw my dress.”

  Tunnel looked up at the ceiling and started to count to ten under his breath.

  I still heard him, though.

  “I can hear you,” I told him. “And you didn’t answer me!”

  Tunnel dropped his head, and the grin that he gave me was enough to make my heart splinter.

  “I’m going to walk you down the aisle,” he told me, then turned to Silas, offering his hand. “Thanks, but we won’t be needing your services.”

  Silas only grinned, but he took Tunnel’s offered hand. “See you in a few.”

  Silas’ exit left my brother and I standing in the hallway outside of the barn’s main room. When I’d told Tobias of my intentions to use the barn to get married in, he’d been skeptical. However, after putting some thought into it, he’d
gathered his brothers, blood and not, and they’d renovated it, making it safe and absolutely stunning.

  Now we were standing in what was normally a walkway for the horses to exit out into the field, but was now cleaned and polished with a newly remodeled sliding barn door that I’d seen in a magazine standing between me and my soon-to-be husband.

  “You sure about this, Audrey?”

  I looked at my brother and brought my hand up to his jaw.

  His eyes, so much like mine, were brimming with happiness.

  “Yeah, I’m sure.”

  His smile was enough to make me want to cry.

  I went to wipe my tears, but I hit myself in the face with the tiny midget arm instead.

  “You’re going to give him apoplexy,” he grunted. “I love you, but I’m not going to stop him from spanking your ass when he sees you.”

  I shrugged, knowing that Tobias would never spank me for being myself. “Let’s do this.”

  I turned to the barn door, and Tunnel just shrugged, reaching for the sliding barn door and giving it a gentle push.

  The moment that the door opened, the music that we’d chosen for me to walk down the aisle to started to play.

  I started walking, or I tried to.

  I was only able to take tiny shuffle steps that were about a quarter of my normal stride, which made the large T-Rex head bounce, and the tiny arms swing.

  And that’s when I saw him.

  He was wearing the same bottoms as earlier, but he now had a crisp, long sleeved black shirt, underneath his Dixie Warden cut.

  He was staring at me, and his mouth was open in shock.

  Then he threw his head back and laughed.

  The others joined him, but I only had eyes for one man.

  The one at the front of the room, who quickly realized my dilemma, started towards me.

  The moment that he was within reaching distance, he hauled me up bridal style into his arms, and started moving me to the front of the barn where the preacher stood.

  “I didn’t think you could surprise me anymore today,” he growled against my lips.

  “What else did she surprise you about?”

  That was Ghost, standing so close and not bothering to act like he wasn’t listening to every word.

  I looked over to my brother, then a grin spread over my face.

  “Apparently, we’re not having just one child.” I looked over to Tobias’ mom. “We’re having three.”

  Tobias’ mom started to scream, and I could do nothing but laugh.

  That was until Tobias shut me up with a kiss.

  “Married, remember?”

  I nodded, but still had a small smile on my face.

  “Married,” I agreed.

  Then we signaled to the preacher to start, and when he asked who gave this woman away, my brother said, “I do.”

  That’s when I lost my battle with the tears, and cried my way through the rest of the ceremony.

  The moment that the preacher said, “You may now kiss the bride,” Tobias did.

  And my heart was so full it was near to bursting.

  “I love you, Toaby-Tobe.”

  He snorted. “I love you, too.”

  Then he picked me up, T-Rex costume and all, and ran with me out of the barn.

  “Where are we going?” I gasped.

  His grin was sly.

  “I’ve never fucked a T-Rex before.”

  What’s Next?

  Pitch Please

  9-8-17

  Chapter 1

  Hockey gives me a zamboner.

  -Text from Rainie to Sway

  Hancock

  Season opener at home

  Texas Lumberjacks v. Michigan Marauders

  “You’re in my seat,” I said to the beautiful woman. “Get up.”

  That beautiful woman, with her long brown hair and her nose stuck in the book she was currently reading, tilted her head up with a startled look that began to tug at my heartstrings before she even opened her pretty mouth.

  I couldn’t give in to it, though. She was in my seat. I had to sit there.

  “I’m sorry,” she whispered, grabbing her bag and scooting over like I’d grabbed her by her hair and physically yanked her out of my spot.

  I hadn’t done that, of course. Not that I wouldn’t want to wrap my hand around her luscious, long locks and kiss the fuck out of her startled mouth.

  “Parts,” someone called.

  I turned to find our starting pitcher, and my best friend, Connor Sorbet, staring at me like I’d grown a second head.

  “What?” I snapped, wondering just what in the hell his problem was.

  His mouth twitched, and I sighed.

  “What?” I repeated, this time a little friendlier than the time before it.

  The chick was fucking with my routine.

  I was a superstitious guy. So, sue me.

  I had to have my seat.

  “I’m sorry,” the woman whispered hastily as she resettled herself way away from her previous seat. “I didn’t know it was taken.”

  “That one is taken, too,” I muttered. “Brakes sits there.”

  She stood, this time upending her book onto the floor as she did.

  I reached down and plucked it out of the spent sunflower seeds, handing it to her as I got a good look at the cover.

  “You like baseball?” I asked teasingly, taking in the title of the book, Baseball for Dummies.

  She blushed a harsh shade of red, and I immediately felt bad for teasing her.

  The next minute, though, she yanked it out of my hand and turned to face forward, not looking back at me again.

  Grinning like the shithead I was, I walked over to Connor, AKA Brakes, and held my hand out for the paint.

  “That’s number thirty-nine’s sister.” Connor said. “The short stop on the other team.”

  “Really?” I asked in surprise. “Kid was a fuckin draft pick, right? Golden Glove.”

  Connor nodded, and I swiped two stripes of paint. First under the right eye, second under the left.

  Connor took the paint and followed suit, only he did his left first, then the right.

  It was always like that.

  Baseball was a superstitious game. It was rare that we ever deviated from our routine.

  “Why’s she not their AT, then?” I asked.

  Connor shook his head and tossed the paint down into the stack of shit on the ground underneath his seat.

  “Not a fucking clue. Girl’s hot, though. I love that she’s our athletic trainer.”

  I agreed with that. One hundred and sixty-nine percent.

  She was thick and curvy, in all the right places, and I wanted to wrap my arms around her and kiss the hell out of her.

  Crazy enough, I didn’t think she’d be receptive to that.

  Not yet, anyway.

  She had on a Longview Lumberjacks team shirt, the tight khaki shorts that all the trainers wore, and a fucking ribbon in her hair.

  She looked like my high school wet dream come true.

  “You ready to warm up?” Connor asked.

  I nodded my head and started up the steps of the dugout, picking my bat up along the way.

  I hefted it in my hands, tightening my grip around the wood, and breathed deeply.

  “You first,” Connor nodded his head.

  I walked ahead of him to the plate, nodding at the coach.

  The coach nodded back, and I took my place at the plate.

  Once I was there, I dropped the bat onto the plate so it rested against my thigh, put my gloves on, and pulled my pants up above my calves.

  Routines.

  All of it routine.

  Once everything was perfectly in place, I fixed my hat, picked my bat up, tapped it six times on the plate, and lifted it to my shoulder.

  Hail No

  Book 1 of The Hail Raisers Series

  9-29-17r />
  Prologue

  I really am pleasant to be around as long as I’m not hot, tired, hungry, cold, thirsty, or itchy. Possibly if I can’t find my phone, or I’m uncomfortable in any way.

  -Evander to his employer

  Evander

  “Evander Lennox?”

  I stood up, hating the way my knees creaked and popped.

  I’d been in the military for seven years, then had worked for Hail for five more. It took spending four years in the pen, though, for me to start feeling fucking old.

  I guess getting jumped in the dark would do that to a person.

  “Hurry up, I don’t have all day.”

  I gritted my teeth, but kept my pace deliberately slow.

  Fuck him.

  The parole officer, my parole officer, sent me a glare the moment I got to him.

  “I don’t need your bad attitude. I have your file in my office and I’ve spent the morning going over it. There won’t be any ‘accidents’ while you’re under my supervision, got it?”

  The accidents he was referring to weren’t accidents. I’d never said they were accidents.

  In fact, I made sure to tell the guards exactly what had happened each time I’d had to use my hands to defend myself.

  I was just lucky that the guards liked me and lied when they went to write their reports.

  “Yes, Sir,” I found myself choking out.

  I wanted to call this man ‘Sir’ about as much as I wanted to take a shit in a plastic bag and carry it around in my pocket.

  Thirty minutes later, I was leaving his office with a slew of rules that I now had to follow, as well as some regulations I wasn’t aware that would be required of me.

  Needless to say, as I made my way home—walking, might I add—I wasn’t in a good mood.

  Not at fucking all.

  ***

  I ripped the sheet off of the couch, and coughed when a cloud of dust filled the still, stagnant air around me.

  “Fuck,” I gasped, waving my hand in front of my face to clear the air.

  It didn’t work, but at least I’d given it the good old college try.

  No one had been in here since I’d gone to prison. Not my mom. Not my dad—not that he even knew I’d gone to prison since I hadn’t seen him in years, and that was before I’d done time. Not even my sister had bothered to come in here and clean up. Though, that didn’t surprise me much. Every single one of my family members were selfish. I doubted cleaning my place up for me had even crossed their minds.