by Dylan Allen
We bid Liz good night and walk out into the humid, but pleasantly fragrant evening and start the walk to my car.
“You hungry? Let’s head down to Twist and get something to eat.”
“I could eat. And I love that place. But, first, I want us to find a place where I can thank you for doing what you did.” She leans against my car and smiles up at me. I reach up to brush at the thick lock of curls that’s fallen on her forehead off her face.
“It’s a special place. When I wrote that check, I was a little ashamed. My car costs more than what I gave them. I can’t wait until I can do more,” I murmur while my fingers trace the line of her cheekbone and down to her jaw to tap on her chin.
“Me, too. I can only give my time. But if I could do anything, it would be to take care of Carlos. Make sure that even if he’s never adopted, he always has a home.”
I stare at her and mark this moment as one I won’t forget it. This is when my feelings for her turned from mere attraction, respect, admiration, and desire to something more.
10
EVERYTHING
REMI
“I don’t like that girl.” My mother issues her indictment from the table where she’s reading her newspaper.
“That’s shocking,” I return dryly without turning around.
I can’t take my eyes off the vision walking toward me. She’s wearing a dress, it’s bright yellow with thin straps that are both sliding off her bronze shoulders as she strolls up our drive and toward the front of the house. The breeze picks up the dark cloud of curly hair and it bounces and sways with each step she takes.
Her face is half covered with huge sunglasses so I can’t see her eyes. But I know they’re sparkling because she’s wearing a smile that outshines everything around her.
I’ve made a total fool of myself for her this summer—taking her flowers, waiting for her outside work, buying her bags of that cinnamon candy she loves. I even painted her toes last week.
I’ve loved every second of it. Even the uncertainty of what we’ll do when I leave for school hasn’t been able to put a damper on us.
My mother’s constant complaining about me seeing Kal hasn’t done it either. For once in my life, I don’t care if she’s happy with my choices.
I love talking to someone who doesn’t think it’s crazy that I want more than fame and fortune.
She’s a quiet storm that rolled into my life just when I needed her. And instead of bringing destruction, she watered seeds that had been dormant inside of me for a long time
Now, my convictions about my own life are taking root… Right alongside my feelings for her.
“Remi. I’m talking to you.” My mother’s sharp reprimand brings me back down to earth.
I turn to face her. “What did you say?”
She huffs in disappointment and closes her paper. “You’ve got a semester and season ahead of you that are going to be very jealous mistresses of your time. The last thing you need is to be trying to maintain a relationship with her. And don’t forget sweet Joni. She won’t wait forever. I’m just grateful she can see this dalliance for what it is.”
“It’s not a dalliance,” I say firmly.
She raises an eyebrow before she frowns.
“It can’t be anything else, Remi. Finish sewing your wild oats, and make sure you’re discreet about it. She’s nothing like Joni. Or anyone I’d approve of.”
“Nothing like Joni,” I say and move to the door and watch her stop to talk to old Mumford, the gardener.
I want to tell my mother how “sweet” Joni’s been offering her pussy to me for two years and see that knowing look on her face disintegrate. But she’s easier to manage when she thinks she’s right.
This issue with Joni and I, however, is a nonstarter because we’re a nonstarter. She’s a nice girl. But, I’m not interested in dating someone just because it would be good for my family.
Kal throws her head back and laughs at something Mumford says and I watch the nearly seventy-year-old man pull his cap off and hold it to his chest like he’s pledging his love. She waves at him and continues down the long drive toward me.
No, she’s nothing like Joni or anyone else I’ve met. She’s got a wildness in her that’s contagious. Her imagination is full of magic that’s more than a cheap trick of the eye and she’s got a beauty so distinctive that I know I could travel the whole world and not find anyone who reminds me of her.
I think about my grandfather’s warning and I know he was right. She’s a siren whose call is pitched perfectly for me.
Her face is coming into focus and I find myself eager as a puppy to get outside and get even closer.
“Remi, I mean it. Remember your goals. Don’t get sidetracked.”
“My goals? Or yours?” I mutter under my breath.
“Don’t be cute.” Her voice is cutting and sharp and she stands up from the table as if looking up at me while she scolds me takes some of the sting out of it.
In truth, there’s no sting in it at all anymore. Any compliance from me is for my sake, not hers. I just let her think she can still intimidate me as a sort of indulgence.
“Be careful. Don’t go catching feelings,” she calls after me as I open the door and step out onto the porch.
Too late.
“I’ll see you later,” I call as I walk out the door.
I cross the driveway to close the distance between us. The small brown paper-wrapped parcel is tucked into the back of my jeans. I want my hands free so I can touch her.
“Hey, what’s up?” I ask as soon as we’re close enough to touch. I have to restrain myself. I want to slide my fingers through her hair and kiss the soft pink center of her lips.
I settle for just gazing down at her beautiful face.
I frown at her.
“You’re not supposed to frown when you see me.” Her lips pucker in disapproval.
I lift her sunglasses off her nose.
“Nah, not frowning at you. I just wanted to see your eyes.” She smiles and bats her eyelashes, in that way she does whenever I pay her a compliment.
Her eyes are my favorite thing about her. At first glance, they’re a deep dark brown. But when the sunlight catches them, they glow an amber that I swear would rival the actual gemstone. I can’t resist placing a kiss right at the turned-up edge of her left one.
I know my mother’s watching from the window and I don’t want to give her a show.
Or ammunition.
Kal, knowing nothing of my mother’s hard-eyed stare, lifts up on her toes and I feel that tingling start. Every time her lips are in proximity to mine, they wake the fuck up. She never wears any lipstick or even ChapStick. Her lips are always naked and they’re smooth and full and so fucking beautiful they’re practically begging to be kissed.
And I can’t deny my lady anything. I lean down and take a taste of her bare-naked lips. They’re the essence of her. Soft, strong, and they need absolutely zero enhancement to make them stand out.
I start to pull away.
“Remi.”
She cups my neck and holds me in place and deepens the kiss. I could do this forever, but I can feel my mother’s eyes burning into my back. I break the kiss.
“Your lips are the sweetest things I’ve ever tasted. I plan on kissing them as much as you’ll let me until I leave for school.”
“So why are you stopping now?” She pouts and pulls me back.
I pull away again. “My mother is inside watching everything we do from that window.” I jerk my thumb over my shoulder.
“She is?” She stands on her tiptoes and peers in the direction I’m pointing.
“Yes.”
“She knows we’re dating, right?”
“Yeah, but…” I trail off and hate that this is even a conversation.
“She doesn’t like me much,” she says.
I feel like shit that she knows my mother’s not a fan. It’s so bitchy and childish of her and I’m embarrassed that she’s acting
this way.
“Ignore her. She’s just miserable.”
“She doesn’t seem miserable to me. Just kinda… mean.”
“She’s mean, too. Come on, let’s go.” I pull her toward the side of the house.
“Go where?”
“We’re not going over there today.” I sling an arm over her shoulder and lead her away from the little gazebo on the other side of our property where we usually sit in the evenings. She slips an arm around my waist before I can stop her.
“What’s this?” she asks tugging the little package out of my pants and pulling it up and holding it in her hands.
“Oh, just a little something I got you.” I smile down at her. I feel pleased as a motherfucker that she’s smiling like that and hasn’t even opened it. I snatch it back from her and tuck it under my arm. “I want to give it to you. Later.”
“Why later? What’s wrong with now?” She ducks her head around me and reaches for it.
I move it out of her grasp. “Nothing, it’s just that I have plans for us.”
“Plans? Like what?” She stops and crosses her arms over her chest. The yellow cotton of her dress stretches tight over her very ample tits and my mouth waters.
“It’s a surprise,” I say and walk us around the side of the house to where my grandfather’s truck is parked. Tonight the huge flatbed has got a small mattress rolled up in it and a stack of blankets along with some torches and bottles of water.
“You’re full of surprises,” she says happily as she surveys the stash when I drop the door of the pickup gate.
“You’re the best surprise I’ve had all year, Kal. I know it’s just been a couple of months, but it’s been fucking amazing.”
She slides those eyes at me and the sun hits them just right when she does. They turn into that translucent coppery color that mesmerizes me. She slips her hand into mine and squeezes it.
“It has been amazing. I don’t know what happens next, but I’m thinking maybe, this story of ours has a happy ending.”
“If it’s not happy, it’s not the end.” I chuck her under the chin. And stroke the soft, supple skin right below her lip with my thumb. “Now, let me turn that think into a know.
I tug her around to the passenger side and open the door and give a short bow. “Your carriage.”
She starts to climb in and I grasp her hand and squeeze her fingers until she looks back at me. As soon as those luminous brown eyes meet mine, I forget what I was going to say.
“You okay?” she asks in that soft voice of hers and a familiar stirring starts in my fucking pants. I don’t ignore it this time. I’ve got plans for it. And soon.
“Yeah. I’m good. Just wanted to get one more look at the prettiest girl I ever saw.”
She tucks a lock of hair behind her ear and bites her bottom lip as a smile breaks and I swear it feels like the sun is rising in them when her eyes join her lips in the act this time.
“You’re the prettiest boy I ever saw.” She leans forward and presses a kiss to my cheek; her lips are wet and soft and cool against my cheek. I cup the back of her neck and hold her there. Her breath hitches and when I pull away so I can see her face, her eyes are closed.
I lean back in and put my mouth to her ear. “I’m not fucking pretty.”
She throws her head back and laughs in delight.
“I know, you’re a badass motherfucker, too, Remi. But you’re a pretty one, too. Accept it.”
She winks and steps up into the truck.
When I climb in, I open my palm on the seat between us and she lays her hand on top of it. I run my fingers up her palm before I link them with hers. I press it to my lips for a kiss and as we drive off toward the lookout I found; I know this will be a night I’ll never forget.
11
FIRSTS
KAL
After dinner, he drove us out of the city. To this park in Rosenberg where the lack of streetlights makes it possible to see the stars.
“You remembered,” I whisper. My heart is so full it could burst.
“Yeah… I did. You wait until the sun finishes setting… it’s beautiful here,” he says and wraps an arm around me to pull me close. It is beautiful here. The truck is running and “Your Body is a Wonderland” by John Mayer is playing on repeat.
If I’m honest, I’ve never loved Houston. Rivers Wilde and all its quaint suburban perfection is the first place I’ve lived that I could imagine myself staying. Before we moved there, I couldn’t wait until I was old enough to go live somewhere glamorous. Maybe Paris. Wherever it is, I need to be able to see the stars.
“Thank you so much. This is perfect.”
“I have one more thing.” He sits up and reaches behind him to pull out the brown paper-wrapped package I’d seen him slide into the truck with us.
“You’ve spoiled me so much.” I nod at the bouquet of flowers laying by my side.
“Those are nothing.” He nods at me to open the package. I sit up and unwrap it taking my time not to tear the paper. I plan on keeping it.
“Oh.” My breath catches in my throat and I run unsteady fingers over the dust cover of the book. Where the Side Walk Ends.
“It’s signed by the author,” he says and I press it to my chest as if I can hold back the bursting dam of happiness inside of me. If I couldn’t hear the music, and feel the breeze and see the stars, I might think I was dreaming.
“This is… oh, I’ll treasure it. Thank you so much.”
“You’re so welcome.” And then he gives me the best present of all.
The flowers were beautiful. This book is beyond precious. But nothing compares to Remi’s smile. It lights up his entire face. The star of the show, wide, full, dimpled and sincere—it steals my breath. And he had the most perfect teeth I’d ever seen on a guy.
I am so smitten. This summer we’ve spent together has been full of firsts.
He’s the first boy to hold my hand.
The first boy to give me a present just to see me smile.
He’s the first boy to hold a door open for me.
He was the first boy to kiss me like my kisses were the only thing keeping him alive.
And tonight, I’ll ask him to be my first lover.
If he’ll have me.
I’ve stopped holding him at arm’s length, but he’s never tried to take us further than making out.
I suspect it’s because his whole life is about to take off in a way that doesn’t include me. The thought causes an ache in the middle of my chest, but I push it away. Not tonight on the most perfect day. With my dream man lying next to me under the sky that reminds me of his eyes.
I’m going to give him my virginity. He may go away and never think about me again, but I know he’ll give me a “first time” worth remembering. With someone who looks at me like I hung the moon. Who makes me laugh. Who helps me believe that all of my secret dreams are actually possible. I’ll never forget him.
I sigh into his shirt and tip my head up to look at him.
His eyes are flooded with the last light from the sun that’s dropped from its high perch in the sky. It’s going to start to set soon. I want to lie out here with him all night and see the sun rise again. “I want today to never end,” I say wistfully.
His smiles spreads and the fingers that have been twirling in my hair move to my cheeks and start to write a word, letter by letter on it.
“It’s been a pretty perfect day,” he says as he strokes out a M on my cheek.
I giggle at the tickle and squirm against his side. But as soon as my thighs brush his, my giggle dies and my squirm becomes more languorous. His body feels so good.
“What are you writing?”
“Did you catch the first letter?” he asks instead of answering me.
“M.” I confirm with a nod.
“Good, spell along.”
“I.”
“N.”
“E.”
I repeat each letter as he paints them onto my skin.
&n
bsp; “Mine?”
“I want you to be,” he says.
“Me, too,” I admit and then push back the sadness I told myself I wouldn’t acknowledge until after he was gone. “I know summer’s going to end and you’re going to leave… but maybe we can pretend?”
“I want to do more than pretend, Kal.”
My heart thumps in my chest at the serious expression in his eyes and at the heat behind it.
I nod.
“Okay,” I say and when he starts to lower his head to kiss me, I raise my face to meet him halfway. When our lips touch a moan passes my lips right before his tongue sweeps inside my mouth. I’ll never get used to how delicious he is.
His tongue swipes against mine and I taste the apples we ate after dinner. I grasp his face in my hands and hold on for dear life while I let his kiss brand me.
He peppers kisses on my face, on the lids of my eyes, down the bridge of my nose, and then his hands slide under the straps of my dress and he yanks it down.
“Damn, Kal,” he groans when he finds me bare underneath it. He rubs the firm, but soft pad of his thumbs over my nipples while he kisses me again. In a few seconds, they’re as hard as thumbtacks and I’m coming out of my skin.
“Please kiss them,” I pant. I’ve never asked a boy to do anything to me, but I’ve never known a boy like Remi. And since he showed me how good everything can feel, my body is so hungry I can’t take it.
The urgency of the night drives our hands and mouths to seek, touch, taste. I spent most of my summer pining for him and I could kick myself for keeping my distance. Because what wouldn’t I give to have had that first month full of touches like this.
His breathing is ragged and his chest heaves against mine when he breaks the kiss and flips us over on the pile of blankets he’s laid in the truck’s bed. He’s been treating me like this since I met him. I don’t even know how I’ll go back to my everyday life after this.