Until There Was Us

by Samantha Chase

  “What are you in the mood for?” he asked, bending to search. “We can have sandwiches, omelets…there’s some leftover chicken from last night…I can whip up some pasta…”

  “Oh, don’t do that,” she said. “Let’s not make a big mess. Sandwiches are fine. Quick and easy and very little cleanup.”

  “Deal,” he agreed.

  Together, they made a light meal and cleaned up as they went along. Rather than sitting at the kitchen table, they walked into the living room and sat on the couch. Alex turned on the television, and they watched some classic reruns while they ate.

  During a commercial, Alex looked at her and softly asked, “What are you thinking about right now?”

  “Baby blankets. Something soft and pink and very feminine,” she replied without really thinking. Not that it wasn’t true; ever since she’d seen Willow, her mind had been going wild with ideas for something special for her.

  “I suppose you’ll be shopping online first thing in the morning,” he said before taking another bite of his sandwich.

  Being so secretive with him over her hobby was getting crazy. She knew that. Alex was nothing like her father, and she knew he wouldn’t make fun of her or berate her for what she was doing. Maybe when they went upstairs…?

  The idea had merit, but she decided to finish her snack and relax before saying anything to him.

  When she was done, Megan let her head rest against the couch. “Okay, that was exactly what I needed, but now I may have to sleep right here.”

  Alex’s pose mimicked hers. “Because?”

  “I’m tired, and now my belly is full. The thought of moving is not appealing at all.” She yawned loudly. “Besides, we’re grown-ups. We can sleep where we want, and this sofa is huge. I think it’s bigger than the bed. Wake me when there’s pancakes.”

  Beside her, she heard Alex’s soft laugh. “Oh, no, you don’t,” he said, his voice a mere whisper. Even with her eyes closed, she knew he had turned off the television and was moving around, putting their paper plates and napkins in the trash. Before she could bring herself to open her eyes, Alex gently took one of her hands and maneuvered her until he could easily lift her into his arms.

  “Alex—”

  “Shh…you’re way too tired to argue, and personally, I enjoy sleeping in a bed. Particularly if you’re right there beside me, so…let me.”

  In all honesty, it was nice. She knew she should feel a little guilty he was carrying her around the house—and that’s exactly what he was doing. With her in his arms, he was locking the doors, turning off the lights, setting the alarm. Megan rested her head on his shoulder and murmured sleepily. At this rate, she’d be asleep before they reached the bedroom.

  “Oh, wait,” he murmured, and she knew they were heading toward the kitchen. “My phone’s almost dead. I need to put it on the charger.”

  As comfortable as she was, she knew it was ridiculous now to stay where she was. “Mine too,” she said around another yawn. “Let me down, and I’ll grab it.”

  “Where is it?”

  “My purse.”

  Without releasing her, Alex walked over to where she’d put her purse down when they walked in. He found her phone, walked to the kitchen and plugged it in right next to his.

  “Okay, now that’s it,” he said.

  “You’re sure?”

  Nodding, he kissed her on the forehead. “Positive.”

  He walked across the room, turned off the last of the lights, and began to climb the stairs. Once they were up in the bedroom, he laid her gently on the bed and helped her get undressed. While she was barely able to stay sitting up, he walked over and grabbed one of his T-shirts for her to sleep in. She hadn’t moved all of her things over, and on the nights when she did wear something to sleep in, it tended to be one of his shirts.

  Gently, he slipped the garment over her head and helped her get her arms through the sleeves. Megan watched in amazement as Alex managed to pull the blankets down without disturbing her too much and then quickly undressed. They slid beneath the sheets together, and he immediately wrapped her in his arms.

  Then she remembered she had something to tell him. Shifting slightly, she looked at him. “Alex, there’s something I wanted to talk to you about.”

  Even though it was dark, she could hear him yawn. “Now?” he asked softly. “Is everything okay?”

  Another yawn.

  “Everything’s fine. I just…I wanted to tell you about—” And dammit, now she had to yawn.

  “Tell you what,” he said, his tone going sleepy. “Hold that thought, and we’ll talk about it in the morning, okay?”

  “Okay.” Kissing him on the chest, Megan realized waiting a few more hours wasn’t going to hurt. And besides, she was way too comfortable and sleepy to talk anyway.

  “Good night, beautiful girl.”

  And just as she was about to fall asleep, she smiled at his comment.

  Romantic.

  * * *

  The next morning, Alex stood in the middle of his guest room and watched as Megan took several boxes, cases, and baskets from the closet. When she had everything on the bed, she stood back and motioned to it all.

  “What exactly am I looking at?” he asked.

  That’s when she started pulling things out—yarn, ribbons, scissors, crochet hooks, measuring tapes…

  “Are you thinking of learning how to knit or something?”

  With a small huff of exasperation, she faced him. “First of all, this is all for crocheting, not knitting. And—” With a short pause, she began to pull out some of the items she’d made. “This is what I do in my spare time,” she said with just a hint of defensiveness. “I make baby blankets and hats, dresses, sweaters, booties—”

  “So all the stuff you gave to Summer—”

  “I made myself.”

  Then she really looked defensive as she seemed to wait for his response.

  “O-kay,” he began hesitantly, slowly stepping forward and looking at the tiny garments. Then he looked at her and smiled. “Megan, this is amazing! I mean, seriously amazing!” He held up a tiny sweater and marveled at the craftsmanship. It was delicate and soft and… “Why have you been keeping this a secret?”

  She shrugged, but he knew her better than she realized.

  “Who do you make these for? Or do you just keep an inventory of them for whenever you might need a gift for a baby?”

  With a sigh, Megan sat on the corner of the bed, picked up one of the blankets, and studied it for a moment before she answered him. “My great-grandmother taught me how to crochet when I was a little girl. I was always in awe of the things she would create, and when I expressed an interest, she started to show me how to do it.”

  Silently, Alex sat down beside her and waited for her to go on.

  “I got really good at it, and I started spending my allowance on yarn, and I would make afghans and scarves and whatever else came to mind.” She placed the blanket back in one of the boxes and then faced him with a sad expression. “My father told me I was wasting my time and that it was a ridiculous hobby to have. He told me to find something useful to do with my time.”

  “Oh, Megan. Sweetheart,” he said softly, taking one of her hands in his.

  With a small smile, she said, “I didn’t stop. I just made sure I did it when no one was home or in the privacy of my room with the door locked.”

  Alex looked at the sheer amount of yarn she had and the finished blankets and garments.

  Remembering his earlier question, she finally replied, “I donate them to hospitals and women’s shelters.” Her voice was quiet and a little uncertain—as if she was waiting for him to react the way her father had.

  “Is that why when I first took you around town you made note of those places?”

  She nodded. “I had planned on just doing
a Google search, but being out and seeing them in person was the motivation I needed.”

  He squeezed her hand and pulled her close. With a kiss to her temple, he said, “You’re an amazing woman. You know that, right?”

  But she pulled back and looked at him. “Remember the day you came and found me at the office? The week after Gabriella went to the hospital?”

  He nodded.

  Looking down at their joined hands, she said, “Those nights when I said I was working, this is what I was doing.” Then she looked up at him. “I don’t expect you to understand, but…doing this? Crocheting? Making things for precious little babies? It relaxes me.”

  “Megan—”

  “So I’m not completely hopeless, right? I mean, I do know how to step away from my work and relax and just…be normal.”

  And right there his heart broke a little bit for her. All this time she had felt the need to put on some sort of armor—something to prove she was a hard worker like the rest of her family, when really, there had always been this softer side of her she was too afraid to let people see.

  He knew what he needed to do—what would help her feel comfortable about letting her secret come out.

  “How about we have some breakfast, bring some of these goodies to the hospital with us, and deliver them to the nursery before we go see Gabriella and Willow?”

  Her eyes shone with unshed tears, and a slow smile spread across her face. “Really? You…you wouldn’t mind?”

  “Sweetheart, I think that what you do is incredible, and I can’t wait to see the looks of delight on the nurses’ faces when you bring these in.”

  One tear fell and then another. “Thank you.”

  Shaking his head, Alex leaned in and kissed her before wiping away her tears. “Nothing to thank me for. I’m the one who should be thanking you.”

  “For what?”

  “For trusting me enough to share this with me.” Then he paused and grinned.

  “What? What are you smiling about?”

  “You know now I’m going to want to go to the craft store with you and offer advice on what you should make for Willow, right?”

  Her smile was dazzling. “Well? What are we waiting for? It sounds like we have a full day ahead of us!”

  * * *

  Monday morning, Alex walked into the rehab center carrying a tray of coffee for some of the staff. It was something he did from time to time, and today he was in a good mood and wanted to share it. He smiled and waved at the people he passed, and when he got to the therapy room, he saw people setting up and getting ready to work with patients.

  “Good morning,” he called out. Spotting Tony, Alex held up the tray. “I have coffee!”

  “Thanks, man,” Tony said as he grabbed a cup. “How was your weekend?”

  Alex told him about the bike ride and then about Zach and Gabriella’s new baby.

  “That had to be cool for you.”

  “How come?”

  “Zach was a patient,” he said simply. “When you took him on, he had the worst reputation in our field. No one wanted to work with him, and really, no one was sure he’d ever walk again. Then you came along, and not only is he walking, he’s out biking and playing sports again, and now he’s married and has a baby. I know it makes me happy, and I don’t even know them.”

  Smiling, Alex took a sip of his coffee. “I am happy. And yeah, it was way more emotional than I thought it would be. Like you, all of those things ran through my mind when he walked out of the delivery room in a pair of scrubs. I thought, ‘Look at him. Look how far he’s come.’” Alex willed himself to not get choked up again. “It was definitely cool.”

  Tony took a long drink from his cup before saying anything else. “I was at a conference this weekend, and one of the presenters used your buddy Danny’s case in his lecture.”

  That wasn’t anything new. Danny’s accident had made the local news, and during the first few years after it, he had gone through most of the rehab centers in hopes of someone finding a therapy that would help him regain some movement.

  But they’d all failed.

  Then Alex thought of the difference between Danny and Zach—both had traumatic accidents with very different injuries and outcomes. What Alex wouldn’t give for Danny to have had the kind of recovery Zach had and to be living a life where he was celebrating with a wife and baby.

  “Can I ask you something?” Tony said after a moment, interrupting Alex’s depressing thoughts.

  Alex nodded. “Sure.”

  “What are you doing here?”

  Alex looked at him funny. Tony was a good guy—he easily had ten years on Alex—and he was the kind of guy who looked out for everyone. He was one of the lead therapists at the center, and as far as Alex could tell, he’d been doing physical therapy forever.

  “What do you mean?”

  Putting his coffee down, Tony crossed his arms over his chest. “Look, don’t get me wrong, I love having you on staff.”

  “Okay—”

  “But awhile back—maybe a year or two ago—you talked about branching out on your own and starting your own practice. Are you still thinking about it?”

  He shrugged. “Sometimes,” he admitted, “but it’s not a priority. I enjoy being here, and I have some clients I work with on my own plus my work with Danny, but…I don’t know. You know the old saying—if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.”

  Tony chuckled. “I know that saying, but…dude, you have so much more to offer. You’re young, and you’re a gifted therapist. You’re bouncing around from place to place. Why?”

  “I’m not bouncing around,” Alex argued lightly, wondering where all this was coming from. “I’m here with the center, I have clients on my own—”

  “You also work with patients over at Portland General and at Cornerstone Rehab,” Tony pointed out.

  “Is that what this is about? I’m working for the competition?” Alex asked incredulously.

  “That’s not what this is about.” Tony leaned against the massage table. “I look at you, and I see so much of myself when I was younger—I was ambitious and loved my job and had dreams of starting my own practice. But I never did it. I had the stability of working here, and it was easier to stay than to go. I don’t want to see that happen to you.”

  Well, damn.

  “Look, I appreciate what you’re saying, but…I’m happy with the way things are. I don’t want to leave anyone high and dry, and maybe if the perfect place came along, I’d consider it. But for now…things are good.”

  Tony gave him a smile that said he understood all too well.

  “Just think about it,” Tony said after a minute. He straightened and shook Alex’s hand before walking away.

  Reaching for his coffee, Alex took another long drink and frowned. It had begun to go cold.

  It wasn’t as if he hadn’t thought about starting his own practice. He had. A lot. It wouldn’t be hard for him to find a location, nor would it be hard for him to find clients. He turned down requests all the time—most of them were athletes with sports-related injuries. Similar to Zach’s but not as extreme. And maybe that was it—he didn’t want to be the guy who was giving massages to athletes who pulled a muscle. He enjoyed working with people who required intensive therapy—exactly like Zach.

  And Danny.

  More than anything, however, he wasn’t sure if the time was right, and why rock the boat when things were going so well?

  He thought about Megan and how she took a chance—leaving everything and everyone she knew on the east coast to take a job in Portland. Granted, she had her cousins here, but it still meant taking a leap of faith.

  Something maybe he should think about a little more.

  He worked with the two patients he had at New Hope and left at lunchtime. The thought of surprising Megan at work was app
ealing, but his mind was still on his conversation with Tony, and he wanted some time to sort things out in his head before he talked to her. Driving around with no particular destination in mind, he began a list of pros and cons for branching out on his own.

  Pros: Be his own boss, take on the patients he felt needed him the most, have a more regular schedule.

  Cons: Let down his colleagues at New Hope, Cornerstone, and Portland General, say goodbye to his current patients there.

  While the list of cons was smaller, it affected him more. One of the things Alex loved most in this world was helping people—helping them heal, helping them achieve their goals. How could he know if leaving was going to hinder someone’s recovery? What if their next therapist did things differently and their progress suffered? He wasn’t sure he could take that chance. It would be selfish, wouldn’t it?

  And Alex knew he had many flaws, but being selfish wasn’t one of them.

  With a sigh, he raked a hand through his hair and continued to drive—this time heading back to the house so he could grab something to eat and maybe work out for a little while to clear his head. It wasn’t as if he was giving up on the idea completely, but for now he was going to stay where he was and wait until he knew the time was right.

  He thought about Megan and compared their relationship to his current situation. From the moment he met her, Alex knew she was special, but the timing wasn’t right. And now look where they were! Things were great and only getting better. Why? Because he hadn’t pushed like he had wanted to, and eventually everything had worked out. Chances were—if he were patient again—it would be the same where his career was concerned.

  Nodding, he reached out and turned on the radio.

  He felt good, like he’d accomplished what he needed to. Waiting. It was the smart decision. The right decision.

  But damn if it didn’t leave him feeling the slightest bit disappointed.

  * * *

  Whenever the Montgomery family got together to celebrate, it was always loud. It was fun, but more than anything, it was loud. As Megan sat in Zach’s backyard and looked around at all the people there, she felt happy.