Charlotte glanced at the clock. “Oh dear, quite right.”
“Come along, Lily. Time to put your doll away while you learn the alphabet.” Miss Winston reached out her hand.
“Yes, ma’am,” Lily replied, not sounding too keen on the change of activities.
Charlotte snickered at her facial expression. She had a way of puckering out our lower lip to display minor disappointments.
“Yes, and I must be off for my activities.”
“Do you still feel the need to help the Salvation Army?” Miss Winston queried.
“Of course I do. The need is always present, and besides, it brings me joy to continue lending a helping hand.”
After giving Lily a quick hug before departing, Lily threw her arms around her neck and squeezed her in return. It always brought Charlotte pleasure and affirmation that she had done the right thing.
As the carriage traveled toward her destination, Charlotte noted the weather had turned cloudy and threatened rain. It added to the gloomy thoughts regarding Albert that often plagued her mind. Even though she attempted to eradicate him from her thoughts, the memories of the weeks past—both pleasant and unpleasant—churned through her mind. Her emotions will still raw and wounded from their last meeting.
Upon arriving at the soup kitchen, Charlotte greeted Captain Brown. He looked a bit confused at her arrival.
“I didn’t expect you, Lady Rutherford. How is young Lily doing?”
“Splendidly,” Charlotte said with a pleased grin. “She is just a joy to have in my household.”
“Your kindness has been the talk of the mission.”
“I don’t wish to be the talk of anything,” she replied. No accolades were needed when a human being just does the right thing out of good conscience.
“Frankly, we are a bit overstaffed today, so you need not help,” the captain announced.
“Overstaffed?” Charlotte found it surprising because it usually turned out to be the opposite.
“More volunteers?”
“Yes, a new gentleman has joined the ranks. He has been helping daily for the past week.”
“A local?” Charlotte inquired, wondering who he could be.
“From a similar background as yourself,” the captain replied. “Out to help the less fortunate.”
“Oh, I see.” Her eyes scanned the dining hall, looking for a new face. To her utter surprise, Albert stood with a ladle in hand, pouring soup into bowls, grinning from ear to ear. She had never seen him expose so many teeth at one time. The sight so caught her off guard she became faint and wobbled in stance.
“Are you all right, Lady Rutherford?” the captain inquired. He reached out and grabbed her shoulder. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”
It took a few seconds to regain herself before replying. “Yes, I’m quite fine, thank you, but surprised. He’s the last person in the entire world I would have expected to see here.”
The captain expelled a soft chuckle. “Well, I was a bit hesitant when he arrived asking for work dressed in his fashionable outfit. He pleaded and practically got down on his knees for the opportunity, making an odd comment about humble pie.”
“What?” Charlotte looked at him cockeyed.
“Frankly, he’s done quite a good job since he began. He appears sincere enough at least.”
Sincere. Charlotte found it hard to believe. Nevertheless, there was the proof. He was pouring soup into bowls, smiling, and having small talk with the locals.
“Thank you, Captain Brown. I’d like to remain for a while and greet him.”
“Yes, of course.”
Charlotte stepped to the end of the line unnoticed by Albert. She picked up an empty bowl, held it in her hands, and continued to move along, hiding behind the people. It wasn’t until she stopped directly in front of him she spoke.
“Soup, please, sir.”
He poured the broth into the bowl and finally lifted his head to see her standing there staring at him in disbelief.
“Charlotte!” He gasped. His hand shook as he put the ladle back in the pot. “What are you doing here?”
“I could ask the same as you, Albert.”
“I... I didn’t expect you would be back after taking in Lily.”
“Well, here I am.” She smirked. “It appears you have weaseled your way into taking my job.” She narrowed her eyes at him as if she were irritated.
“Ahem,” came a voice behind Charlotte. “By the looks of that fancy dress, don’t look like you need that bowl, young lady.”
“Oh, sorry,” she replied. “Here take mine.”
He did and then grinned at Albert. “Boy, looks like you got a pretty one makin’ eyes at ye.” He laughed aloud.
“I doubt it, Gordon,” Albert said, keeping his gaze away from Charlotte.
Flabbergasted over the comradery between the two, Charlotte poked fun. “On a first-name basis already with the clientele? I’m impressed.”
“Yes, ma’am, he’s a right good chap, this one,” Gordon replied. “Gives soup and good company but tells terrible jokes.”
Albert looked mortified over the man’s comment. “I need to get back to my work, Charlotte. You’re holding up the line.” He picked up the ladle ready to resume his duties, although his hand still trembled.
It was time to move on as the line extended behind her by ten hungry souls. “All right, Albert Beckett. I will leave you with your good deeds.” She started to step away when he called after her.
“Charlotte, might I call on you later? I have a lingering matter I must resolve between the two of us.” He glanced at her with pleading eyes that tugged at her heart.
“All right, Albert. You may call upon me late this afternoon,” she replied.
“Thank you.”
His sincerity and tone of voice had been uncanny. In all the time they had spent together, she had never seen him so docile in character. Something had changed.
Chapter Nineteen
A Heart of Flesh
Albert watched Charlotte depart and then returned to his duties. He hadn’t expected to see her, choosing a different time of the month than she usually decided to lend a helping hand. Two weeks’ worth of chipping in where needed had done him a world of good.
After the incident at the gentlemen’s club, which had nearly broken his jaw, something snapped in his soul. He decided not to return to Bristol. Instead, he discerned a more significant problem needed solving instead. It was time to slaughter his arrogance and open his eyes to the world around him. The only way he could accomplish that task lay in a soup kitchen in the East End of London that catered to the less fortunate. Albert wanted to prove to himself good character and decent souls lived among the underclass he had so often despised.
The first few days proved difficult. Odors, filthy people, tattered clothes, shoeless feet, and smiles with rotten teeth bombarded his senses. Once he moved beyond the physical aversion of being in the presence of grimy human beings, a new world opened when he conversed with the people who held the bowls. Their hungry stomachs and eager eyes yielded a vast array of humanity he had ignored his entire life. Most were kind and incredibly thankful for the nourishment, but there were a few who were habitually drunk and foulmouthed. Nevertheless, men, like Gordon, had taken a fancy to him. Between scooping bowls of soup, Albert ventured out into the dining room, sat down, and chatted with the male guests.
To his surprise, they weren’t the criminals or lazy riffraff he’d envisioned. They were hardworking people down on their luck. Jobs had been lost or were scarce. Their menial labor skills didn’t always afford them opportunities for long-term employment. When he discovered many of them slept in slum housing in a box padded with straw, it brought guilt when he slipped between the clean covers of his warm bed at night. People had no money for food, housing, clothes, or the bare necessities of life. Hopelessness had been their bitter existence as he noted when he first met Charlotte. Nevertheless, beneath bleakness were kind people who could st
ill snort a hearty laugh at one of his bad jokes despite their poverty.
Had it been a cruel God who relegated those people to destitute lives? Albert questioned his aristocracy theories of class until eventually his beliefs, which he held to so tenaciously, altered. In ignorance he had wasted hours, lecturing Charlotte about what constituted good society. In the end, the views he once held had crumbled as if Charlotte took a hammer to his stone heart and broke it into pieces. Nothing remained except to admit the blunder of his ways.
As the afternoon approached, Albert took off his apron and hung it up on a nail in the kitchen. Captain Brown came up to his side and gave him a pat on the back.
“Thank you for your help, Mr. Beckett.”
“You’re welcome. I wish I could do more.”
“As I told Lady Rutherford, there is only so much one person can do. Whatever service you give to the poor does not go unnoticed by heaven.”
“I’m more concerned about what a certain woman thinks of my actions rather than God,” Albert confessed. “If it weren’t for Lady Rutherford showing me the error of my bigheaded thinking, I’d still be looking down at my nose at you and everyone else here.”
“Might I ask if that’s part of the humble pie you’ve mentioned?”
Albert laughed aloud. “Yes, I dare say it is. I’m afraid I’m about to have a second portion in the next hour or so, so if you’ll excuse me, Captain Brown, I’ll take my leave.”
After hailing a hansom cab, Albert settled back for the trip to Charlotte’s residence. Perhaps she would finally invite him indoors. If not, his apology would take place on the stoop. Regardless of the location, words needed to be said. Hopefully, Charlotte would receive them gracefully and offer forgiveness. Whatever the outcome, he would accept it and move on.
When the carriage came to a halt and Albert paid the fare, his palms turned cold and sweaty from nerves. Seeing Charlotte again resurrected the emotions he had pushed to the side. Only this time he saw her through different eyes, as if the veil had lifted. Albert’s perception of her personality had changed completely. Whatever thoughts he held regarding her behavior beforehand no longer existed. He loved her for her goodness of heart, although he kept no fanciful hopes such affections were reciprocated.
The knock on her door had been short, and a few seconds later it opened.
“Albert Beckett to see Lady Rutherford,” he announced. “May I come in?” He hoped at last entrance would be given, and to his surprise, she stepped aside.
“Her ladyship is waiting for you in the parlor. Follow me, sir.”
Albert removed his hat and clutched it between his fingers. The marble foyer glistened, illuminated by the large overhead crystal chandelier he had seen before. The walls lined with beautiful art and a wide staircase with deep red carpeting led upward to the second floor. Off to the left, a corridor led to other rooms. He followed the housekeeper and then stopped as she announced his arrival.
“Lord Beckett has arrived, your ladyship.”
“Thank you, Gladys. That will be all for now.”
Charlotte rose from the settee and faced him squarely, showing little emotion. Albert rubbed the rim of his hat between his finger and thumb unaware of his tense actions.
“Won’t you come in and sit down?”
“Thank you,” he said, taking a chair nearby. He fiddled a moment, trying to find a comfortable spot to ease his anxiousness.
“Shall I have Gladys bring us some tea?” Charlotte sat across from him.
“No, no, that won’t be necessary. I shan’t be staying long.” His eyes avoided contact with hers, so he glanced at the pleasant parlor surroundings. A heaviness grew in his chest, being in her presence. After inhaling a deep breath and the familiar scent of her perfume, he returned his gaze to her lovely face that had haunted him for nights on end. Charlotte’s warm smile eased his tension.
“This isn’t easy for me, Charlotte.” His voice trembled. “I am not used to admitting the error of my ways to many people—especially to a woman. Hence, I find myself struggling to find the right words.”
She settled back in her chair, appearing at ease. An entertained smile curled her lips, which revealed her enjoyment of his groveling. “I’ll be patient with you.”
“Well, I... well, I’ve been a pompous ass indeed,” he stammered. A vision of a donkey filled his mind, bearing his pathetic face braying hee-haw, hee-haw. “You were quite right in declaring I possessed a heart of stone.”
“I’m sorry for those harsh words,” Charlotte swiftly interjected. “But I burned with rage at your insensitivity.”
“No, no, there is nothing to be sorry about on your account. You were insightful and correct, and I wholeheartedly deserved your rebuke.” He leaned forward in her direction. “I spoke wicked things to you in the presence of your family and Lily, and I am truly sorry for my behavior.”
“Yes, you did. You spoke despicable, contemptible, hurtful, and shameful things,” she added, narrowing her eyes at him. Like a torturer in the Tower of London, each word turned the rack of shame tighter.
“I completely understand if you cannot forgive me.” To add insult to injury, his eyes watered.
“Might I ask how this change of heart came about all of a sudden?”
Albert chuckled nervously. “Well, I guess... I guess you could say Cedric knocked some sense into me.” He rubbed his jaw that still had residual tenderness. “After landing on my donkey ass, it made me think.”
“I heard of the incident and thought you would return straightaway to Broughton Hall. Instead, I find you at the soup kitchen of all places.” She looked at him with a playful glint in her eye. “You do look rather humble in an apron.”
“Yes. My self-imposed penance,” he sheepishly admitted. “It’s been an eye-opening experience, to say the least.”
Charlotte studied him for a few moments. “I hope it’s made you a better man.”
Without hesitation, Albert replied. “You made me a better man, Charlotte.”
She sat quietly contemplating as if she were weighing the sincerity of his words and actions.
“My prideful and arrogant thoughts regarding good society have altered, I assure you.”
“How so?”
“There are fine people indeed whose happenstance of birth were no fault of their own. Though I don’t quite understand God’s thoughts in the matter regarding why some receive more than others in life, I do now comprehend my moral duty is not to preach about class separation but to reach out and help those less fortunate.”
After his confession, a rosy blush filled Charlotte’s cheeks, giving him an ounce of hope.
“Oh, Albert,” Charlotte began in a lowered voice. “I do accept your apology and am happy to hear about your change of heart.”
“You do? You are?” He leaned forward and grabbed both her hands in his and held them tightly. Before Charlotte could answer, they were interrupted. He dropped his grip when Lily ran into the room. Blond curls bounced up and down, and the skirt of pink swirled around her legs.
“Miss Winston said I’m learnin’ me letters really good,” she blurted.
A broad smile of approval lit up Charlotte’s face. “It’s my letters, dearest,” Charlotte corrected her kindly. “I’m proud of you.” She reached out and stroked the side of her head.
Lily suddenly turned and looked at him. Her smile faded, and she backed away.
“You’re that mean man who yelled at us.”
Shocked she remembered him so vividly, he spoke softly in return. “I’m sorry for yelling at you.” Lily continued to look warily at him. “Can you forgive me?”
“Oh, your ladyship. I do apologize. Lily just ran off before I could catch her from interrupting you in the parlor.” A young woman joined them.
“No worries.” Charlotte gave Lily a quick hug. “Now go along with Miss Winston, sweetheart. We can talk later.”
As quickly as Lily bounded into their presence, she ran out, scowling at Albert as
she flew by his chair.
“Is Miss Winston her governess?” he inquired.
“Yes, and a wonder. She does well with Lily and has the patience of a saint.” The atmosphere between them changed. Charlotte’s demeanor became aloof as she glanced around the parlor and fiddled with a wrinkle in her skirt.
“I’m sorry, Charlotte. I should have never judged you for becoming Lily’s guardian. You’ve accomplished a benevolent deed.”
“You frightened her, you know,” she replied. Her eyes shot disapproval. “After you left Cedric’s, she burst into tears.”
“I wish there was a way I could make it up to her.” Albert doubted he would ever get over the mortification he carried for his offensive rant. Out of answers, he got up from his seat.
“Perhaps I should go.”
Charlotte stood before him. “Must you?”
He didn’t want to go. Nothing had changed. The longer he gazed into her eyes, the more love swelled in his heart. “I think I should.”
A sense of defeat and his hopelessness in winning her heart incited the departure. He was about to turn and head for the door, when Charlotte leaped forward, threw her arms around his neck, and kissed him. Her ardent actions caught him off guard, and he stumbled in balance. Her ceaseless display of affection incited Albert to embrace her and return the kiss with passionate affection. When their mouths parted, he grinned in relief. “I didn’t expect that response.”
Her cheeks blushed red as the hue of her hair. “Frankly, I surprised myself.”
Charlotte kept her arms wrapped around his neck. His hands rested on her waist. She was such a beautiful creature inside and out he didn’t want to release her and leave.
“I thought I had lost you forever, Charlotte, though I never really believed you were mine during our foolish game.” Albert caressed her face, giving her a sweet, short kiss.
“You haven’t lost me, Albert. If anything, you’ve gained my love.”
He took her hand and placed it on his chest. “I fell in love with you with a heart of stone that was shallow and lacked depth. But now it has turned to flesh, I love you beyond measure.”
Ladies of Disgrace Box Set Page 41