Girl Power Omnibus (Gender Swap Superhero Fiction)

by P. T. Dilloway

Geiger signaled for the band to stop as Melanie reached the top step. The so-called Queen of the World sat atop a golden throne she’d probably liberated from the Smithsonian. “Ah, there you are. Kneel before your new queen.”

  “I should have you know, as a citizen of Pacifica I am not bound by your authority,” Paul said. “I have come here with my friends as an envoy of Queen Neptune.”

  “That hag is no queen!” Geiger roared. “She is nothing more than the mayor of a squalid underwater village.”

  “She is the rightful ruler of Pacifica and everything beneath the waves.”

  “For now. Once I have consolidated my power here, then we will see.”

  “There’s no need for that. Queen Neptune has no quarrel with you. You’ve done her a favor by deposing the United States government. They’re the ones who killed her husband and mother. She’ll be pleased now that they’re gone.”

  “What do I care about that?”

  “You said you need to consolidate your power. Think of what an army of men like me could do, the havoc we could wreak on this world now.”

  Geiger shifted on her throne and cupped her chin in one hand as she weighed this. None of this had been in the plan, but Melanie realized Paul was ad-libbing to buy them some time. The longer they kept Geiger occupied, the longer until she realized they were tricking her. That would give Tonya and Garlak longer to save the hostages.

  “What would your queen want for your services?”

  “I can’t really speak for the queen, but my guess is she wouldn’t want more than a non-aggression pact that would give her complete dominion of the oceans.”

  “What? I am Queen of the World! It all belongs to me!”

  “She would be happy to let you keep everything above the waves. The rest she would keep.”

  “And how do I know your queen won’t betray me? If I let your warriors come ashore, how do I know they’ll go home?”

  “Pacificans have no love for the surface. I spent over thirty-five years on land and even I’ve seen how much better it is to live underwater. It’s so calm and peaceful down there. The food leaves a little to be desired, but you get used to it.”

  “This is something to consider. When could I meet your queen?”

  “It would take a couple of days for me to return to Pacifica and consult with her.”

  “You can take your leave, after I’ve dealt with your friends.” Geiger glared at Melanie. “On your knees, fools.”

  Melanie got down on her knees. She hoped Tonya and Garlak didn’t need much more time, as they were about out of it here.

  ***

  Tonya hadn’t been on a flight this rough since she’d gotten caught in a thunderstorm over St. Louis eight years ago. He had flown into the storm on purpose to test whether the armor could handle a sudden electrical surge—like being struck by lightning. He learned it could—after he threw up seven times into his helmet.

  This time she wasn’t likely to be struck by lightning. Her stomach was remaining calm, at least for now. The roughness was from the four-hundred-pound cavewoman thrashing in a net beneath her. “Would you stop that already?” Tonya shouted. “We’re almost there!”

  It didn’t do any good; Garlak continued fighting against the net, despite that if she succeeded in her efforts she’d wind up a smear on the Beltway. No one ever credited Neanderthal with brains.

  After a couple more minutes, the steel mill came into sight. It was mostly recognizable because it was the only building with smoke coming from its stacks. She checked her helmet display to see they had two minutes before the next government Popsicle would get tossed into the soup.

  God, had her plans been this megalomaniacal back when she’d been a man? She thought back throughout her career. Besides helping Inertia try to bring down Velocity Man, Tonya had stuck mostly to the fringes of the supervillain world. Hostage-taking was something he had always avoided because then you had to shelter, feed, and take a bunch of people to the potty; it was like babysitting a group of toddlers.

  And he hadn’t done any of that Dr. Evil shit of building a death ray or stealing a nuclear weapon. His biggest job had been to hijack a freighter loaded with valuable antiques. What the hell had he thought with that one? There would have been no way to unload that stuff for probably twenty years. Trying to take it on water had guaranteed Lord Neptune would show up for his sorry butt.

  So far being a superhero had it all over being a supervillain. Sure the pay sucked but it was pretty cool when some cute girl threw herself at you when you saved her. It had felt good to watch all those prisoners in Atomic City emerge from their pens. She could definitely get behind this gig—

  A half-dozen warning lights went off as the armor froze. The temperature gauge went from a balmy eighty-seven inside the suit to a nipple-hardening twenty-four in seconds. The engines seized up completely, dropping her like an iceball towards the ground below.

  “Crap,” she muttered through chattering teeth. She’d let herself space out so Icicle could get the jump on her. Well, she would show the frigid bitch a thing or two once the de-icer got humming—

  Except from her projections she was going to hit the ground before the engines could de-ice and restart. Garlak was about on the ground already. I guess she’s finally getting her wish.

  A few seconds later the gyroscope in the helmet started to go crazy. From the gyroscope and the topsy-turviness of her stomach, Tonya knew she was spinning through the air. How the hell had that happened? Garlak, you beautiful Neanderthal, she thought a second before she slammed through a factory wall.

  The armor protected Tonya from any serious injury, though she would probably have a few bruises in the morning that would make any doctor think she had an abusive boyfriend. Her plunge through the wall had the benefit of knocking loose most of the ice from her armor. More of it cracked as she got to her feet.

  She looked up to see the blocks of ice from the video. With hesitant steps she made her way towards the vat of molten steel. It wouldn’t be long now until Icicle dropped another. She might try to drop them all now that she knew the jig was up.

  A warning sounded in her helmet. This had nothing to do with the cold. As expected, Geiger had left some of her irradiated bees in here. Why she was so obsessed with these things, Tonya had no idea. They were like something out of a 50s science fiction movie. She didn’t have any time to play with them, not right now.

  “You’re too late!” Icicle shouted. She shoved a block of ice over the edge.

  “Shit.” Tonya tried to ignite the jets, but an error message came up. They were still iced up.

  She could try to shoot the block of ice to change its direction—

  Help arrived in the form of a cavewoman with a steel girder held like an oversized baseball bat. Garlak swung the girder with a mighty roar. The end of it connected solidly with the block of ice. The giant ice cube tumbled away from the vat. It didn’t tumble quite enough, the end of it striking the edge of the vat. For a moment Tonya worried the block of ice might still fall in, until it toppled over, onto the floor.

  “Home run!” she shouted to Garlak. The irradiated bees came down at them now. Garlak tried to smash them with her hands, but that wasn’t doing much good. “Get behind me, big stuff!”

  For once the cavewoman heeded the call of common sense. She rumbled towards Tonya, the bees in hot pursuit. “Time for a little pest control,” Tonya said as she pulled the trigger on her rifle.

  She was glad the barrel of the rifle wasn’t jammed up from ice. A blue cloud of light erupted from the barrel to envelop most of the bees. They disappeared in a tiny series of supernovas. A few remained buzzing around, but they wouldn’t be much danger. “See if you can clean those up. I’m going up top.”

  The engines had finally de-iced enough that she could trigger them. They hesitated for a moment before she rocketed up towards the roof. Icicle was up there, waiting to use her freeze power again. Not this time, Tonya thought.

  From out of the righ
t arm came a grappling hook and length of rope. This wrapped itself around Icicle’s feet. Tonya hovered before her. She lifted the visor of the helmet so Icicle could see her triumphant grin. “Go ahead and freeze me. We’ll both end up as part of the soup course.”

  “Never!” She did the only thing possible; she tried to freeze the rope. That wouldn’t do any good; the steel fiber cable would only turn brittle at about absolute zero. Icicle continued to struggle with it for a few seconds. “You bitch!”

  “You’re one to talk. Now, here’s what you’re going to do: you’re going to turn yourself into a nifty ice sculpture.”

  “Why would I do that?”

  “It’s either that or see if you can swim in molten steel.”

  Icicle considered this proposition. Then her body began to turn blue. Ice radiated from her until it formed a neat rectangular prism like her prisoners. The cable was still attached, but that was easy enough to fix.

  Tonya descended back to the floor, where Neanderthal was swatting at the bees. “Afraid we need to take another ride,” Tonya said.

  “No like flying.”

  “I don’t like you flying either, but there’s not much choice.”

  While they were in midair, Tonya triggered the radio. “We’re all set here, boss. Zero casualties.”

  There were only two clicks in response. Melanie must still be hanging with Geiger. That would be easy enough to fix too. Tonya smiled to herself. This superhero thing was pretty damned awesome.

  Chapter 19

  Killer Whale had no idea what day it was or how long she had been in the dungeon. There was no sun in Pacifica to tell the passage of time. There was no clock in her cell and she never saw any watches on the wrists of the guards who shoved her food in. As a woman she couldn’t even grow a beard to help her gauge how long she had been in here.

  She started to wonder if her sister were hoping to bore her to death. That or the fool thought days—or weeks—of isolation would drive Killer Whale to surrender. If so, she had another thing coming. After all, a Pacifican noble was never truly alone so long as she was underwater; she could still hear the thoughts of the fish that passed by.

  At the moment she listened to a school of flounder. The fish didn’t think in actual words so much as vague impressions that were translated as images in Killer Whale’s mind. She had little interest in what they said; she only cared about their sense of freedom as they swam through the city. So long as she could feel that, she could remember what it was like to swim the ocean depths uninhibited by walls or bars.

  The slit in the door opened. Killer Whale stared at it, waiting for more food to slip into the room. It didn’t seem like feeding time, but then she had spent hours with the flounder. As she waited, no food came through the slot.

  With a sigh, she finally rolled out of bed to swim over to the door. It was probably a guard checking on her to make sure she was still alive. Or maybe it was her sister for the same reason.

  Instead, she saw a chubby toddler with orange-red hair and cheeks dotted with freckles. The girl gasped and then swam backwards, her gold-trimmed white gown bunching around her. Though they had never met, Killer Whale knew who this was: it was her niece, Ariel.

  “Don’t be afraid, little one. I won’t hurt you.”

  The girl edged closer. She sucked on a thumb for a moment, taking it out to say, “You don’t look like a monster.”

  “Did your mother tell you I’m a monster?”

  “No. Ursula told me.”

  “Who’s Ursula?”

  “She takes care of me when Mama has to go away.”

  “Does Ursula or your mother know you’re here?” The girl shook her head. Killer Whale said, “You should go home then. The dungeons are not a safe place for babies.”

  “I’m not a baby!” Ariel shouted. She belied this by jamming her thumb in her mouth. She took it out again to say, “If you’re not a monster, why are you in there?”

  “Ask your mother, child. I have no time for such prattle.” She did in fact have all the time in the world; she had no patience to deal with a toddler.

  “Ursula says you hurt people.”

  “I suppose I did.”

  “Why?”

  “I don’t have to explain myself to a child.”

  “Do so. I’m a princess and that means you have to do what I say.” The girl’s noble bearing was again marred by the thumb in her mouth. Hadn’t the nanny thought to break the child of such disgusting habits?

  “I’m already a prisoner. There’s nothing you can do to me.”

  “Why are you so mean? Pretty girls shouldn’t be mean. They should be happy. In Ursula’s stories, it’s always ugly girls who are mean.”

  “They’re teaching you well already,” Killer Whale said with a grin. Her niece would end up a preening fool like her mother.

  “Are you in there for being mean?”

  “That’s right, but I wasn’t really mean.” Killer Whale forced herself to smile. “I’m too pretty to be so mean, aren’t I?”

  She hoped maybe she could convince the girl to let her out, but the child didn’t budge. She sucked on her thumb for a few moments as she thought. Finally she asked, “Do you know where the bad people took Daddy?”

  “Yes. I can show you. All I need is for you to let me out.”

  This had the desired effect; the child swam forward to pull at the door. It of course did not move. “You can’t open it like that, sweetheart. You need the key.”

  “Where’s that?”

  “The guards have it.”

  “I’ll go tell them—”

  “No! You can’t do that.”

  “Why not? I’m the princess.”

  “But your mother is the queen. They have to obey her before you.”

  “Oh. Then what do I do?”

  “You wait for a chance to take the keys when they aren’t looking.”

  It was then a hand seized Ariel’s arm. She squealed in surprise. Queen Neptune floated down so Killer Whale could get a good look at her. “What are you doing to her?”

  “Nothing. The child decided to pay her aunt a visit.”

  Queen Neptune looked down at the girl. “Ariel, what have I told you about wandering the palace without a grown-up?”

  “I’m sorry.”

  “You could have been hurt or bad people could have taken you away like your father.” This prompted the toddler to cry. Queen Neptune scooped the child up into her arms. She ran a hand through her daughter’s red hair. “It’s all right, baby. There’s no harm done this time, but you need to be more careful. Understand?”

  “Yes, Mama.”

  The queen turned back to Killer Whale, her eyes blazing like the royal trident. “You stay away from my daughter.”

  “You spoil the child. Look at her, so flabby and weak. She’s not fit to sit on the throne of Pacifica.”

  “Shut up! She’s just a baby.”

  “Am not,” Ariel said. “I’m a big girl.”

  “Oh, I know you are, baby. Come along, let’s get you back to your room.”

  As her mother carried her away, Ariel peeked over the queen’s shoulder. She waved to Killer Whale, who waved back. As absurd as it might seem, her ticket out of here might be a three-year-old thumbsucker.

  ***

  Robin was lost. Mommy had taken her into the house of mirrors and even though Robin had promised to stay close, she had lost sight of Mommy. Now she had no idea where she was in the maze. All she could see were hundreds of reflections of herself in her pretty green dress and her face painted like a tiger.

  “Mommy?” she called out again. The word bounced along the mirrors, but no reply came. Robin trudged on, hoping she would find Mommy or at least someone who could tell her how to get out of here.

  Mommy had probably already left the maze by now. She was probably outside, waiting for Robin. Or she had gone to get help. If Robin waited, maybe some nice policemen or firemen would break through the mirrors to find her.

&
nbsp; But no, she didn’t want to stay put. She didn’t like it here. It was scary. All these mirror images of her, some of them distorted to make her tall and thin or little and fat, were so creepy. She wanted out of here. She wanted to go home to Mommy and Daddy and Jasper.

  As she rounded a corner, the lights went out. Robin screamed. She thought for sure a bogeyman would grab her, but she was still alone. That was until she heard a voice sing softly, “The itsy-bitsy Robin went into a hall of mirrors…”

  Robin screamed again. She bolted into the dark, no longer caring where she went. She knew that voice singing; it was the voice of the nasty clown from the carousel. She ran until she was completely out of breath. Then she dropped to the floor to rest. She curled up against the cool glass of a mirror while she sobbed.

  “What’s the matter, Robin? Are you scared of the dark?” the nasty clown’s voice hissed into her ear. A hand touched her shoulder. Robin screamed as she took off running again. The nasty clown’s laughter echoed in her ears.

  No matter where she ran, there was no end to the maze or the clown’s taunts. She seemed to keep pace with Robin, her breath always on the back of Robin’s neck. “Oh how the mighty have fallen,” the clown said. “Midnight Spectre, scared of her own reflection.”

  A light came on ahead of Robin. She saw a figure up ahead. It was a girl dressed in a gray bodysuit with a black cape wrapped around her. A black mask covered most of the girl’s face while a black hood cast shadows over much of the rest of it. The masked girl stood over another woman—

  “Mommy!” Robin bolted forward until she saw the pool of red around her mother’s body. She dropped to her knees. “No! She’s not dead. She’s not!”

  Robin charged at the girl in black. She beat her tiny fists against the girl, but it didn’t do any good. The girl finally seized her around the waist and then lifted her off her feet. She looked Robin in the eye and smiled. “Such a brave little girl.”

  “You leave Mommy alone!” Robin shrieked. She clawed at the girl’s face. After a few moments, she succeeded in pulling the mask loose. Robin screamed again. “No! No.”

  Beneath the mask, the girl’s face was painted like a tiger—just like hers. The girl pushed back her hood so Robin could see she had the same red hair too. “No!” Robin shrieked. She squirmed out of the girl’s grasp to land hard on the floor, in the pool of sticky red blood.