by Judi Nolan
"I'm afraid I'm all out of water," Kate managed, tearing her gaze away as a strong shudder ran through her.
She closed her eyes on a soft groan. This was far too much unwanted fantasy come to life for her to handle all at once. But his warmth surrounded her senses, meddling with her determination to keep her distance.
"Kate…?"
"What?" She looked up.
His dark blue eyes were concerned. "Are you sure you're all right?"
Kate felt her cheeks heat. "Truly, I'm fine," she muttered, taking a hasty step backwards.
"Well, I guess I'll have to survive without water. But I had a message on my answer phone from the estate agent when I got back this morning."
He flexed his shoulders. "She said you were thinking of giving up the lease on the cottage. That you weren't happy here. But you refused to tell her why. Care to explain your reasons to me now?"
"Oh, damn." Kate's eyes widened. She felt acutely uncomfortable. "No, not really."
She was hot, tired and the disturbed clamoring of her senses shortened her temper. She didn't need this kind of cross examination. "I'm afraid it's rather complicated."
"Obviously." Spencer gave her a long, hard look. "But then it always seems to be complicated with you. Why, Kate?"
"It no longer matters." Kate was aware Jamie could return at any moment. "I changed my mind. I...if it's all right with you, I've decided that I'm staying."
"Good. I was beginning to believe it was me."
"No. Oh, no, it's not you." Kate managed to laugh. "I was just feeling a little restless." How could she admit the truth? "I can't think why you would imagine something that." She braved his stare, managing to hold on to her composure as Spencer's eyes studied her, testing the truth of her words.
"Fair enough," he said finally, threading his fingers through his hair, pushing it back from his forehead. "But if there are any more problems, I want you to come to me with them. I don't want to hear again that you're unhappy through some third party. Agreed?"
"Agreed." Kate did her best to keep her eyes on his face.
But the beautifully defined, sweat slicked muscles of his chest were too close, too dangerously attractive for her comfort. She could feel the vital heat radiating off him through every pore of her skin.
Suddenly the back of his hand flashed out to feel her moist brow. His questing fingers pushed the damp curls of hair off her skin. "Your cheeks are flushed. You could be heading for a case of heat stroke. How long have you been working out here in this hot sun?"
"Only for the morning." Kate snapped her head aside to avoid his touch. But the long fingers of his free hand gripped her upper arm.
"I warned you about the sun Down Under when we first met, remember?" he growled. "So, what about protection? What are you using?"
"Oh, I remember." Kate's heart pounded against her ribs as her stalled breath jammed for a moment in the base of her throat before she managed to mutter, "Factor thirty-plus, if you must know. I was told it's Cancer Society approved."
"Just as well. I get the impression you'd be hard to deal with as a patient." Spencer's wry smile lightened his expression as his assessing gaze ran over her long sleeved cotton shirt and denim shorts. "At least, you've dressed sensibly. The New Zealand sun is not to be played with. Your skin is far too pale and this isn't wintertime in Chicago. The ozone layer is a lot thinner down here."
"I'm well aware of that." Kate set her teeth at his instructing tone. "I do know the dangers of too much sun. We do have summers in Chicago too." She pulled her arm from his grasp.
"Touché." Spencer's smile widened in appreciation of her indignation. "Now, since we've taken the trouble to come and visit you, aren't you going to invite us inside for something cold to drink?"
"Lemonade." Jamie reappeared at her side with Lobo behind him. "I like lemonade."
"I think I have a bottle of lemonade somewhere." Kate counted to ten, fuming inwardly.
It seemed she didn't have a choice. No matter what she said, Spencer was obviously determined to shepherd her inside out of the sun.
But she was also aware of the need to be sensible. Her pale skin was beginning to glow. She'd been about to go in anyway. She didn't appreciate being told what to do.
"Please." Spencer disarmed her, raking his fingernails crisply through the dark beard shadowing the line of his strong jaw. "I promise to be good."
"Somehow I doubt that," Kate muttered crossly. "Very much."
But she was tired and the struggle was quickly becoming an unequal one. "Come on in then." Turning her back, she took Jamie's hand like a lifeline and led the way into the house.
Spencer dragged on his shirt as he followed her inside; his broad frame filled the cozy lounge, making Kate even more aware of him. She hurried through into the kitchen, putting the width of the partition between them.
"Sit there." She pointed to the stools at the breakfast bar that divided the small neat kitchen from the lounge. Exchanging frowning glances, Spencer and Jamie sat.
"Why's Auntie Kate crabby at us, Papa?" She heard Jamie ask in a loud whisper.
Kate's hands tightened on the plastic bottle of lemonade she plucked from the refrigerator. Did she seem crabby? She reviewed her behavior since they arrived in the garden and guessed she did.
What was it about this man that brought out the worst in her? She shut the fridge door with a nudge of her hip. She turned back to them with a rueful smile.
"I'm sorry. I guess I deserved that."
Spencer grimaced. "And we shouldn't have come over uninvited. Perhaps we should go."
"But, I don't want to go yet." Jamie frowned. "I want to stay."
"Oh, yes, please. Stay. I'm sorry. Besides,"—she winked at Spencer's small son—"I was getting tired of my own company."
She poured three glasses of the chilled lemonade before passing her guests theirs. "Tell me, how is your aunt?"
"Thea Alexia went back to Australia," Jamie supplied, in a serious tone. "Papa and me, we flew her back to live with my grandpa. She was real mad at Papa for making her go to hospital. She said some real mean things. When Thea Alexia came home, her and Papa got into a huge fight."
"Let's say we agreed to disagree." Spencer exhaled a long breath. "It's for the best."
"I see." Kate sipped her lemonade.
Her eyes lifted thoughtfully to Spencer's. Her heart thumped with worry. Sending his aunt back to Australia—it made the old lady sound like an unwanted parcel.
"Don't worry, it was Alexia's idea." Spencer's mouth turned down at the corners. "She'd been feeling under-appreciated for some time. And she's not getting any younger."
He smiled. "Besides, my father has lined up the best medical care money can buy. Alexia will want for nothing and she's taking great delight in ordering her nurses about. She'll be more than fine."
"So, what will you do now?" Kate questioned. "For help with Jamie, I mean."
"Jamie has a very good friend in Tommy Barker." Spencer finished his lemonade in one long swallow and raised an eyebrow, holding out his glass. Kate moved to refill it.
"I've made arrangements with Tommy's mother for Jamie to go with him after school until I'm free to collect him."
"And when you're on call?"
"Vicki Henry, the wife of my stable manager has agreed to do the daily housework and look after Jamie when I'm not there. They have children of their own."
"Of course. I'd forgotten about your horses." Kate finished her lemonade, turning away to put the glass in the dishwasher.
"They're not all mine." Spencer stood. "I provide the land, stabling and maintain the fencing. I have people who run that side of things for me. The practice takes up most of my time. But, I like to keep my hand in."
"Grandpapa has lots of horses." Jamie walked around the end of the breakfast bar and into the kitchen to hand Kate his glass. "He lets me ride them sometimes."
"Keeping it in the family," Kate remarked.
"My father runs a large thorou
ghbred stud outside Melbourne." Spencer told her. "He also owns an interest in a local winery, runs a few head of cattle and grows some olive trees. He hates to be idle."
Like father, like son, Kate thought, her gaze slipping away from his. What the Stelanos family did was none of her concern. And she needed to remember that.
But she could never picture Spencer being idle. Not that she wanted to picture Spencer Stelanos at all, if she could somehow manage to turn off the erotic picture show playing endlessly in the back of her mind.
"We went to see Mama in Sydney," Jamie said then, screwing up his small face. "She said she'd be there." He heaved a deep sigh. "But she wasn't. She'd gone sailing with her new man friend."
"Next time we'll telephone first. Make sure your mother remembers we're coming," Spencer put in quickly, obviously to soften his son's look of deep disappointment.
"I guess so," Jamie sighed again gustily. He looked up hopefully. "Papa, can Auntie Kate come to dinner tonight? You said she could sometime. We ate all her cookies. It's Saturday, so I don't have school tomorrow. Please, Papa."
Kate's heart tripped over its beat. Oh, no, that was asking too much. She shouldn't have baked those cookies.
It was on the tip of her tongue to politely refuse. She thought belatedly of the telephone call she'd forgotten to make, excusing herself from this very situation.
Spencer must have seen it in her face because he forestalled her smoothly. "I think another time would be better. Kate has been in the garden all day. She must be tired. I don't think—"
"I would love to come over," Kate replied, as if he hadn't spoken. She smiled at Jamie's brightening face. "What time do you want me?"
CHAPTER SEVEN
What demon of perversity prompted her to accept the invitation, Kate couldn't say afterwards. Maybe it had been the look of dismay evident in Jamie's unhappy expression. His own mother had already let him down badly, not seeming to care about her son. Now Kate didn't have the heart to deny his innocent request as well.
But to step willingly right back into the confusing morass of emotions and desires was at best unthinkable. At worst impossible.
So she couldn't back out. However much her logical mind told her foolish heart it was the right thing to do given the circumstances. Jamie had grinned from ear to ear, and was expecting her to appear at his house in a few hours. She would have to make the best of it.
Kate showered quickly before tossing through her wardrobe, going from a dress to jeans and back again without resolution until she felt quite ill. Giving up the unequal struggle, she finally settled on a peacock blue silk blouse and cream linen trousers that were demure enough not to get her into any serious trouble.
Besides, once she'd eaten, she could quickly make her polite excuses and leave. She wasn't expecting the evening ahead to be too taxing on her social skills.
As she walked along the moonlit path through the trees her heart suddenly stumbled. What she wasn't expecting was the taciturn escort silently waiting for her at the first bend. Spencer loomed up out of the shadows, startling her.
"Jamie was worried you wouldn't come," he explained roughly. "He doesn't find it easy to trust adults. I've been sent ahead to scout. Make sure you turn up."
"I make a habit of keeping my promises." Kate maintained her distance as they fell into step together. She was remembering the careless behavior of Jamie's mother. "Especially to small children."
In the semi-darkness she felt Spencer's narrowed gaze run over her. He appeared about to speak, but then seemed to change his mind. His hand closed over her elbow, helping her over a branch that had fallen across the path.
Kate shivered at the vital warmth of the impersonal contact. She pulled gently away. "Where is Jamie?" she managed to ask in a voice that wasn't quite steady.
"Waiting for you up by the first fence. Don't worry, Lobo's keeping guard. He won't come to any harm. He's so impatient to see you."
"You care deeply about your son."
Spencer pushed his hands into the pockets of his jeans. "Katerina never really wanted to have children. She certainly didn't want Jamie. In her view his advent was an inconvenience to her lifestyle."
His bleak tone sharpened, became crisp, completely devoid of emotion. "She had an extremely busy career in medical research when we first met and she was well on the way up to a high position in management. Both our families approved and it seemed the right thing to do, getting married."
He blew a frustrated breath. "Jamie's appearance took us both by surprise. I guess we were too involved with our respective careers to notice the signs, until it was too late for Katerina to take steps to prevent it."
"I'm sorry." Kate glanced up at his grimly set profile. The words of his last sentence carried a bleak finality. Spencer was obviously talking about abortion.
Biting her lips together she knew she didn't want to get into this with him. Into anything so deeply intimate and personal with this man. But she seemed to be constantly drawn in nonetheless. Maybe he just needed someone to talk to.
Now she simply couldn't help herself. "I'm sorry she thought that way. Children are gifts to be cherished."
"Yes, I agree. I've always wanted children." Spencer's warm breath fanned the back of her neck as he passed behind her, pushing aside a leafy overhanging branch. "But you don't have any yourself. Is that another lifestyle choice you've made for the advancement of your career?"
"We're not talking about my choices." Kate's heart contracted painfully, her breath hitching as she thought of Eric.
He hadn't wanted children. He told her they had each other, they didn't need anyone else, the old adage about three being a crowd. Now she could see that he hadn't wanted the complications involved in bringing up a child; monetary complications.
And the fact he already had two children of his own. After all this time the stark truth about her failed romance still possessed the power to sharpen her breathing with regrets that had nothing to do with Eric.
"You've gone very silent. Are you thinking about what might have been if you'd chosen family over career?"
"Oh no, nothing like that." Kate denied a shade too quickly. She attempted to lighten the tone of the conversation. "I guess, maybe it wasn't in my stars to be a mother." And now it was too late. She felt familiar regrets squeezing her heart. "There never seemed to be time."
Beside her Spencer frowned. "You would make a good mother. Surely there's still time." He hesitated for a moment. "Or don't you wish to have any children?" It would explain a lot about her.
The bleak question hung between them as they walked. Kate hesitated. It would be so easy to say yes. To let him go on thinking she had put her career first. That she didn't have time to become involved in romance. Or any kind of personal life. It would save her a lot of heartache and confusion, a small voice whispered.
"No," she said finally. "I love children. There doesn't seem to be enough time. Or the right time. I don't think I will ever get married."
"Or, perhaps, the right person?" Spencer asked then, very quietly.
"Yes." Kate tried to gauge his expression. But they had stepped from the moonlight into shadow. "I certainly believe children shouldn't be brought into the world without love."
Spencer brought them to a halt with a hand on her arm. "So what about you, Kate? Have you ever been in love?" His voice sounded strained.
Kate's heart hammered within her chest. "I really don't believe that's any of your business, Dr. Stelanos," she managed to reply, around the obstruction in her throat.
Spencer's head went back. He frowned as he dropped his hand. "No, I guess not. Sorry, forget I asked. Chalk it up to the moonlight."
"I think it would be best," Kate said stiffly.
She could almost hear his mind working, sifting through all the alternatives; making his assumptions. But she wasn't about to enlighten him about her love life. Or the complete lack of it.
Had he been about to question her again over her ex-fiancé?
> She turned away from the stark look in his eyes, increasing her pace. Ahead she could see a small boy and a dog waiting together. Kate's heart contracted further with a deepening sense of loss.
In another time Jamie could be her own child. She shook her head at the fanciful thought, hurrying forward to answer the boy's greeting and to take his outstretched hand in hers like a lifeline.
"This is something I brought back from Australia. My father's most prized specialty." Spencer held out a glass of pale amber wine towards Kate. "Tell me what you think."
"Thank you." Kate took the glass, careful to avoid his touch.
Now that she was actually here in his house, her courage was ebbing rapidly. Almost defensively she took a mouthful of wine, feeling its warming effect sifting through her empty stomach.
"Why, it's delicious," she murmured in surprise.
Spencer flashed a wry smile. "My father would be deeply offended if you found it in any way unpalatable. His is a very exclusive label and he's very proud of it."
"I can understand why." Kate inhaled the wine's unique bouquet before taking another sip.
She shut her eyes. Against her closed lids, she could almost see the rows of sun drenched vines lining the hillsides in neatly ordered rows. And an older version of Spencer standing among his grapes, his strong, handsome face turned up to the sun, dark eyes flashing, and his strong teeth gleaming in a wide carefree smile.
Kate swallowed tightly, a slight shiver traveling down her spine. She snapped her eyes open on a tiny gasp, looking up to find Spencer watching her, his expression challenging.
"Just the sort of reaction my father would expect."
"Then I'm glad I haven't disappointed him."
She raised her glass to her lips again. "Something certainly smells delicious."
"Baked beans and toast are off the menu tonight. We can offer beef with olives and a dish of chicken and then a chilled dessert."
"It sounds interesting." Kate felt her stomach rumble with anticipation.