She understood, but it still hurt like hell to hear, especially when her body craved the deeper release only he could give her. The knowledge that another woman wore a physical symbol of attachment to her man made her stomach kink into several tight knots.
With concentrated effort, she sat up, pulled her dress back into place and tied the sash around her waist. She squeezed her slick thighs together and bit her lip to keep from moaning when the movement teased her clit, setting off blissful flutters within her.
“This isn’t going to be easy for her.” Jai stood and Sabria admired the muscles in his back as he zipped and buttoned his pants. “The last thing I wanted to do was hurt her.”
“What will you tell her?”
“I don’t know.”
Sabria remained silent for a moment while he put his sweater back on. “Do you love her too?”
Chapter Four
Asking the question caused as much anxiety as waiting for Jai to answer. He met her gaze after he tugged his sweater down.
“Melanie has been there for me. I was just living day to day, uncertain about my future, confused about my past, and she accepted and loved me. The connection I feel with you is nothing like the one I have with her.” Jai locked both hands behind his head. “Melanie doesn’t deserve this. Fuck, this is so messed up.”
Sabria sighed. “How did you leave things before you came over here?”
“She thinks I went to the gym.”
“And how did you explain that kiss?”
Jai unlocked his fingers from behind his head and stuffed one hand into his jeans pocket. “She stormed out shortly after you left when I couldn’t give her a plausible reason to be kissing you. We’re supposed to talk later.” Jai shook his head. “You couldn’t have shown up like two weeks earlier and explained all this mythological shit?”
“I’m sorry.” Sabria scooted off the bed and stood. “I was beginning to think we wouldn’t find each other in time.”
“How long have you been looking for me?”
“Almost twelve months.”
Jai cursed. “I’m sorry.” He came to her and lifted her chin with his thumb. “I can’t imagine how much stress you’ve been under.”
“It’s not your fault. Sometimes, it takes time to remember. I’m just happy you do now. I’ve been so worried.”
Jai wrapped his arms around her and Sabria briefly closed her eyes, savoring the protective warmth of his tight hug. “I’m here now. I’m going to go talk to Melanie and then we’ll be together.”
“You’ll come back tonight?” Sabria asked against his chest.
“I want to, but I don’t think that’s possible.” He pulled back to look at her.
“Why?” Sabria felt herself blush. “You do remember that our bond isn’t fully in sync until we’re one.”
Jai’s semi-erect cock became fully hard. The inquisitive light in Sabria’s beautiful eyes darkened as they stared at one another and he knew she too was remembering how intense sex always was the first time they were together after being reunited. “I haven’t forgotten we aren’t safe from the flames until I come deep inside of you,” Jai said, enjoying the rosy hue rising on her cheeks that matched her suckable nipples. “I will be back as soon as I can and we’ll figure out what our next move is together.”
“Okay,” Sabria said as he released her. “I’ll wait for you here. It’s my turn to pick where we live this time.”
“Let me guess…the Bahamas?” Jai asked as he headed toward the door.
“It’s a surprise.” Sabria rose up on her tiptoes to softly kiss his lips. “Just hurry back to me. This is the first time we’ve ever waited so close to our time being up to consummate our bond again.”
Jai pressed her up against the wall and considered his sanity for leaving her before claiming her again. He bent his head and nipped her neck, enjoying her delighted giggle. “I will hurry back, but you should know once I have you in my bed again I will take my damn time loving you.” He heard her sharp intake of breath as he ground his erection against her belly. “I need to reacquaint myself with every soft, delectable inch of your body.”
Sabria moaned beneath his lips as he kissed her again. When he pulled back he could see the passion and need in her gorgeous green eyes. She opened the door and Jai stepped, regretfully, out into the hallway. “I will call you when I’m on my way.”
“Okay.”
He gave her a quick smile before pivoting. Jai exited the hotel, reveling in the chilly air blowing around him as he walked to his car. He was so hot, his need for Sabria increasing by the second.
It was difficult to be completely excited about his future with his flamma when he knew Melanie would be waiting for him, wanting an explanation, knowing she deserved one.
Melanie had always teased him about holding back from her, keeping his deepest feelings locked away. Once, she’d even jokingly asked him about loving another woman. He’d denied loving anyone else and she’d never pushed him for more. Jai navigated through traffic, thinking about how happy Melanie had been when he’d proposed.
In just a few minutes, he was going to hurt the one person who’d made the last eleven months of nothingness bearable.
Jai swore, hit the accelerator and ignored the impatient horn of the vehicle he cut off to make his turn. It killed him to know how long Sabria had been searching and worrying about him. He could only imagine the pain he’d caused her when she’d discovered him with Melanie. Just the thought of finding Sabria with another man…loving another man…made him crazy.
Melanie’s car was present when he pulled into his designated parking spot. He turned off the engine, got out of the car and walked up to his building with a heavy heart. Once inside Jai knocked on her door.
“Hello, Melanie,” Jai said when Melanie opened the door seconds later.
“Jai.”
He could tell she’d been crying and it made the band of regret around his heart squeeze tighter. “Is this a bad time?”
Melanie laughed and the bitter, mirthless sound jangled unpleasantly in Jai’s ears. “A bad time to break up with me? That is what you’re about to do, isn’t?”
“Can I come in?” Jai asked, distressed by her obvious anguish.
Melanie crossed her arms and he noticed she was still wearing the diamond ring he’d given her. She sighed, turned away from him and he walked inside. “Melanie, I’m sorry that you saw that kiss.”
“Me too,” Melanie said whipping around to face him. “I don’t think you’ve ever kissed me like that.” She gave him an over-bright smile while shaking her head. “In fact, I’m certain you haven’t. Who is she, Jai?”
“She’s an old flame,” he said and the tacky irony of his words was not lost on him.
“An old flame? It looked like things are still pretty damn hot between you two. I asked you once if you were in love with another woman. I always felt like there was someone else, but you told me there wasn’t. Remember?”
“Yes, I remember. Melanie, I didn’t expect this to happen.”
“And I didn’t expect to find you in a passionate lip-lock with another woman. Do you love her?” The sadness in her eyes weighed heavily on Jai. “What am I even asking? I saw the way you were kissing her. What did she mean by ‘time is running out’?”
“Melanie, it was never my intention to hurt you. You’ve gotta believe that. I wish I could explain this to you, but I can’t.”
“Can’t or won’t? After everything we’ve shared together, that’s all you have to say? Because you’ve said surprisingly little.”
“I know and you have every right to be angry,” Jai said as she ran shaky fingers through her hair. “I care about you, Melanie.”
“You just don’t love me, right?” Melanie lifted her hand and Jai’s engagement ring sparkled in the light. “She’s the woman who holds that part of your heart I always wanted for myself, but I was content because you’ve treated me better than any other man. I told myself that meant more than having your l-l—”
“Melanie, stop.” Jai went to her when she couldn’t finish, hating being the cause for her tears, wishing he hadn’t gotten involved with her. Usually, his kind didn’t make deep human connections, which made it easier to avoid the questions that arose when their time was up.
Melanie pushed away from him. “No, stop trying to reassure me and tell me the truth. Do you love…love…what’s her name?”
“Sabria,” Jai said quietly.
Melanie drew in a shuddering breath. “Do you love Sabria?”
“Yes.”
Something died in his fiancée’s eyes.
“How could you do this to me?” Her voice shook with emotion as she brushed past him sobbing and opened her door.
“Melanie, wait,” Jai said following her out into the hallway.
“No! There’s really nothing left to say is there?” Melanie struggled to remove the solitaire he’d given her two weeks before. “Here.” She held out the ring. “Give this to Sabria. She’s the one who should be wearing it.”
“Melanie—”
“Take it!”
Jai took the jewelry, wishing there was something he could say that would matter. “You are a beautiful, caring woman and in any other lifetime…”
Melanie gave him a tremulous smile. “Goodbye, Jai.”
She pivoted without another word and headed down the stairs toward the exit wearing nothing more than a pink T-shirt and black yoga pants.
“Melanie, it’s freezing out there. Let me get your coat.”
She ignored him, moving faster as he went after her. He cursed when she disappeared out of the door, picking up his pace to catch her at the exact same moment she screamed and the screech of tires sent a spear of dread through his heart.
No.
Jai rushed outside to see the driver of the van already getting out of his vehicle. The man’s face registered the shock and horror Jai couldn’t even begin to process as he hurried over to where Melanie lay in the street, crumpled and still, so fucking still, in a pool of her own blood.
* * * *
Sabria cursed when she got Jai’s voicemail for what had to be the twentieth time. Something was wrong.
Three days had gone by with no call from Jai. She’d texted the following morning when he hadn’t come back only to receive a very cryptic text back from him to tell her he needed a little more time to work things out.
A little more time? That was the one damn thing they didn’t have. She’d thought Jai had understood that before he’d left. Time was of the essence and each hour she watched go by only increased her level of anxiety.
Where the hell was he?
Sabria read Jai’s stilted message again before tossing her phone on the pillow beside her. Her stomach twisted into knots and then untwisted. He’d told her nothing to raise her concern and yet everything he hadn’t said set off a million alarms within her.
Something was seriously off. She had no problem giving him the space he needed to tie up loose ends, but the sound of his voice… So cold and distant. Totally unlike him. She’d tried calling him over and over with no luck, finally leaving him several messages of her own to call the moment he had a chance, to which he hadn’t responded.
“To hell with this,” Sabria muttered, grabbing her jeans off the chair by the television stand.
She’d barely been able to sleep or eat, too wired and anxious about Jai’s return. She was done waiting. Sabria pulled her jeans on along with her favorite boots. She grabbed a gray shawl to go over the black tank top she was wearing and headed out of the door.
Sabria barely heard the soothing sounds of jazz music wafting from the piano bar as she rushed through the lobby and outside. “Dammit!” She’d forgotten her keys lying on the bathroom counter.
Too frustrated to go back inside to get them, Sabria hailed a cab. She gave the driver Jai’s address and settled back into the seat, trying not to wrinkle her noise over the lingering scent of cigarettes within the vehicle. The driver weaved in and out of traffic, but Sabria stared unseeing out of the window.
Surely Jai hadn’t forgotten how critical time was for them? He had seemed to understand his relationship with Melanie would eventually come to an end regardless of whether he was ready for it to or not.
“Seventeen dollars and fifty cents,” the taxi driver called through the safety glass partition.
Sabria blinked in surprise. She hadn’t noticed they’d even stopped. She paid the taxi driver, exited the vehicle and stood in front of Jai’s building with butterflies in her stomach. The wind whipped around her and she welcomed the chilled air washing over her heated skin. She pushed the bell for Jai’s place, expecting to hear his voice asking who she was, but he buzzed her in.
She knocked and waited. Seconds went by, feeling like hours, with no signs of movement inside then she saw a shadow of light beneath the door before it was opened.
All the questions faded the moment she saw Jai. Her heart skipped a beat as her gaze ran over his unshaved beard, the dark circles beneath his eyes and the ragged jeans, unfastened and riding low on his hips. “Jai?”
He didn’t answer, barely looked at her before turning to let her inside his dim apartment. A blast of heat scattered goosebumps over her skin.
What the hell?
Her kind avoided unnecessary heat like some people avoided the sun. Every single curtain was drawn in Jai’s place. The only source of illumination came from the wood kindling in the ornate fireplace in the living room.
“Jai, it’s way too hot in here. What are you trying to do to yourself?”
“I was going to call.” His voice sounded as rough as he looked.
“Jai, what’s wrong?” She reached out to touch his arm and was taken aback when he moved out the way.
He finally met her gaze and the agony mirrored in the mocha depths of his eyes tore at her heart. Beads of sweat dripped from his bald head, down his proud jawline to splash on his bare chest. Sabria had never seen him in such a state. He was tortured by something…something they’d never dealt with before.
“Is it Melanie?”
Jai turned his back on her again with the mention of the other woman’s name. “She didn’t deserve this.”
“I know it couldn’t have been easy to end things with her.” Sabria watched him cross his arms, mahogany muscles momentarily taking her attention. “Especially when you couldn’t tell her the truth.”
“She opened her heart to me and what did I do?” Jai asked, absently scratching at his beard.
Sabria resisted the urge to walk over to him and wrap her arms around his waist, fearing he’d pull away again. “You did what you had to do. I know it couldn’t have been easy—”
“There was no easy way to tell her I couldn’t give her the love she deserved.”
“I’m sorry you had to go through that,” Sabria said softly, wishing she knew the right comforting words to say.
Jai cursed. “The look in her eyes when I told her I loved you…”
His voice had lowered to a hoarse whisper and Sabria felt guilty for feeling a spark of happiness at the mention of his love for her. “Jai, I know you didn’t want to hurt her.”
“Hurt her?” Jai pivoted quickly to face her. His handsome face was a mask of pain and anger. He walked up to her and took hold of her by both arms and the heat from his touch seared her skin.
“Yes, Jai, I know you didn’t want to hurt her.” Prickles of awareness zipped through where his fingers bit into her flesh.
“I didn’t just hurt her, Sabria. I killed her.”
The ferocity of his words shocked her almost as much as what he’d said. She flinched when he released her and almost flung her away from him. “What?”
“She’s dead. Melanie’s dead. I told her we couldn’t be together and she was so upset…so heartbroken. She rushed out of her place. I went after her and I guess she wasn’t looking…didn’t see the van coming.”
“Oh my God,” Sabria gasped, feeling the blood drain from
her face.
“I couldn’t save her.”
Sabria’s eyes widened in horror as Jai shook his head and paced the floor. “I didn’t even get to say goodbye. She died thinking I didn’t care about her.”
He stopped pacing and Sabria yelped when he smashed his hand into the wall, punching easily through the painted surface.
“Jai!” Sabria rushed to his side, took hold of his bruised, bloodied hand. She lifted her other hand to touch the side of Jai’s face. The moisture glistening in his eyes brought tears to her own. “I’m so sorry, Jai. I’m so, so sorry.”
“She died because of me, Sabria.” He met her gaze and Sabria wondered if she’d ever see the familiar light and joy in them again. “She died because of me.”
Sabria let go of Jai’s injured hand to cup his face with both hands. “Jai, listen to me…what has happened is beyond tragic. I can’t even begin to imagine the pain you are in right now, but you’ve got to know this isn’t your fault. It was an accident, a terrible accident.”
“One that never would’ve happened if she’d never gotten involved with me.” The storm in his eyes hurt her soul.
“Jai, please listen to me. Meeting and connecting with Melanie was a chance encounter you both found mutual pleasure and joy from. You didn’t know our secret. Your relationship was a series of unexpected happenings that you and she could not be held accountable for. The moment you knew it couldn’t work you went to her.” She searched his face for understanding, but only saw emptiness in his eyes.
“I let her down,” Jai said, pulling away from her.
He went into the kitchen, took out a clean dish towel and wet it beneath the faucet. Sabria went to his side, took the towel from his hand and wrung it out. She carefully wrapped the cool towel around his hurt hand.
“Melanie wanted you in her life. That was her choice. Always her choice.”
“A choice she wouldn’t have made had she known the truth.”
“You didn’t know the truth.”
“That doesn’t make me blameless, Sabria!”
The fury in his voice made her jump. He pulled from her grasp and went over to stand in front of his fireplace. Nothing but the crack of the wood in the fire could be heard for several long minutes.
Ashes to Flames Page 4