by Susan Laine
Evan thought he must be in hell, or at the very least, a purgatory of bad friends.
When Adam turned on the newest karaoke game on his Xbox and “Can’t Help Falling in Love” by Ingrid Michaelson started to play on the hidden speakers around the room, Evan knew with absolute certainty he was being punished for being the worst friend ever.
“Adam…,” Evan tried to say in a choked voice as he watched Adam putter around the room humming, take off his jacket, kick off his shoes, and in general make himself comfortable.
“Yeah?” Adam hopped onto the bed and leaned against the headboard and a stack of pillows. He appeared relaxed, like a guy readying for a laid-back evening with his best friend. “Want to pick a song?”
Evan pinched the bridge of his nose, fighting a rising headache, most of it undoubtedly all in his head, figuratively speaking. “Adam, you…. I….”
When not much came of Evan’s stammering, Adam finally snorted. “Stop it, Evan, for God’s sake. Geez, you’ll give yourself an aneurysm.” He sighed. “Listen. I know I’ve been hard on you lately—”
“Funny,” Evan murmured, mostly to himself.
“—but I just want and need you to know that… that my feelings aren’t gonna change, and I’m not going anywhere. So… take all the time you need to make sense of all of this, okay? I’ll still love you tomorrow. And the day after that. You know, till infinity.”
“That’s just it, dammit. How can you possibly know that?”
Adam shrugged, an innocent smile on his full, luscious lips. “’Cause I have faith. In me, in you—in us.” His bashful blush only made him look cuter. Evan was slipping. “Even if you’re still mad at me about last week and the, uh… misunderstanding.”
The memory of their last disastrous date night caught Evan unawares. He’d pretty much blocked the whole incident from his mind. Now he was forced to take a long look at it again. Why? Because deep in his heart, Evan suspected his reaction had been excessive.
At the time he hadn’t tried to analyze his feelings in any way. He’d known pain when he felt it. But why had he felt so wounded by an imagined slight when deep down he knew Adam would never have acted so callously or cruelly?
The truth was—Evan actually lost his breath when the realization hit him—that he’d felt so bruised and battered, angry and hurt and disappointed, because for the span of a heartbeat, he’d felt elated and hopeful when he’d seen Adam there.
He’d thought, like the song declared, he would have been lucky to fall in love with his best friend in the whole wide world. Thought of how many heartaches, rejections, or breakups he might then be spared since Adam would never hurt him.
But then doubt had crept in. And instead of hope, his heart filled with fear and indignation about being ridiculed by someone he’d thought he could trust unconditionally. Adam was right. Evan hadn’t considered the possibility Adam might have been serious that night. In fact, he’d refused to. The pain he’d felt at the apparent betrayal had made Evan turn inward, to seek solace within, to deny Adam’s feelings—and his own.
Now he knew better. It was high time to be honest. For both their sakes.
Evan sat on the bed, close to Adam’s now-bare feet, and sighed. “It’s more complicated than you think. The misunderstanding, I mean.” He stared at the floor without really seeing it, and then at his fingers, nervously shaking in his lap. Anything to avoid a direct look at Adam, who was waiting so patiently. “I know I should never have thought that you’d make fun of me like that.”
“Good. ’Cause I wouldn’t.” Adam’s firm tone gave Evan chills. In a good way.
“Yeah. But I… I still believed that at the time.” Evan chewed on the inside of his cheek till he tasted blood. “What I didn’t tell you—or myself, as it happens—is the reason why.”
“Why what?” Evan heard the bafflement in Adam’s voice and, in his mind’s eye, saw the endearing small scrunch above his nose Adam got when he was confused.
Evan swallowed hard. His nerves were wreaking havoc on his attempt at composure. But he did his best to soldier on. It was strange but they’d never had trouble in the past talking about anything at all. They’d been capable of shooting the breeze about almost anything. Now… it was all up in the air.
“The reason I got so freaking emotional—and if you ever use that word about me, I’ll kick you in the nads!” Evan pointed a finger at Adam, who appeared to be struggling to keep a straight face, shoulders shimmying.
Evan blushed and looked away again. “Anyway, like I said, I got angry and shit ’cause… when I saw you there at the table, for a second I was…. I felt….” He sighed so deeply he deflated and shrank into himself. “I felt… happy to see you there, like… like it was kismet or something. You know, how easy it’d be to already be best friends with the person you… you fell in love with.”
Much to Evan’s surprise, Adam burst into laughter. Evan wasn’t sure if he should glare, so he didn’t. But Adam chortled like mad, doubling over and holding his belly. As he wiped tears from the corners of his eyes, he smiled wickedly at Evan.
“Fuck, that’s exactly what I’ve been saying all along. You just now figured that out?”
“Shut up.” Evan’s cheeks heated at the amused reproach. But he started to smile purely on instinct, unable to hide it or hold it in.
He recognized it for what it was: joy. And, yes, love too. In his heart, he knew what he wanted at that exact moment: for his first experience to be with someone he trusted with his life. And he had that in Adam, a guy who loved him unconditionally and had implicit faith in him. Evan honestly couldn’t think of anyone better to pop his man-cherry.
“So, uh… now what?” Evan asked in a whisper, his heart racing as he rubbed the back of his neck self-consciously.
Adam bounced over to him and grinned. “You know what.”
And yeah, Evan did.
Chapter 8
ADAM GRABBED Evan by the waist, lifted him up, and tossed him on the bed on his back. Evan grunted and bounced on the bed briefly. Then he stayed still, tacitly allowing Adam to decide what to do.
And that was perfect because Adam had lots planned. Lots.
Adam yanked his T-shirt off in a rush and snapped open the top button on his jeans. Evan immediately focused on Adam’s crotch, exactly as Adam had hoped, and then Evan’s skin turned ruddy from arousal. Adam couldn’t rip his gaze away from the sight of Evan licking his lips nervously.
“We’ll go slow, okay, babe?” Adam said. “And if you wanna stop, we’ll stop.”
He waited for Evan to actually respond to his assurances. They were going to have sex for the first time. But things could go totally awry if they didn’t talk to each other.
Evan nodded slowly, as though he were in a daze, mesmerized by Adam. Electing to take the gesture as confirmation, Adam gripped Evan’s ankles, spread his legs, and knelt between them. Taking his time, Adam lowered himself on top of Evan until they were pressed together from lips to hips.
And they kissed. Adam expected some leisurely savoring. What he got instead was Evan full-on ravenous, fusing their lips together and delving his tongue in deep. Adam moaned and went with it, entangling his own tongue with Evan’s, tasting his lips and the inside of his mouth, sharing hot, tea-scented breaths. It was everything he’d dreamed of, only better because it was real.
Evan wound his arms around Adam’s broad shoulders, and Adam slid his hands up and down Evan’s sides to seek his heat through the layers of clothes, to feel the strength of his body, and to caress the curves of his hips, buttocks, and the backs of his thighs. And all the while Evan made raw keening sounds in his throat, seemingly unwilling to part from Adam’s lips even for an instant.
Adam was fine with that.
Soon, before Adam fully realized it was happening, they were both pretty much naked save for their underwear—both pairs tented. Adam pulled back from the kiss to take in an eyeful of Evan’s stunning rapture.
Words tumbled out of his
mouth of their own accord. “You’re so fucking amazing. I love you so much.”
Evan blinked, his eyes glossy, his lips full and glistening, and his skin pink and sweaty. Then a shy smile emerged, like sunshine from behind storm clouds. “You too. You too.” Though Adam felt slightly disappointed that Evan hadn’t actually said the words, he refused to allow that to ruin the mood. Then Evan sighed happily. “I love you, Adam.”
Adam could have been knocked over with a feather. Shocked, though in a positive way, he stared in awe at his best friend, who was finally willing to take a chance with him, to love him, to jump into the deep end with him to conquer the waters or drown. But Adam was determined they’d swim like sharks. They were in love.
“Glad you finally came around to my side of the fence,” Adam said with a chuckle and a mild, playful scolding as he shoved his underwear down his legs and kicked them off into the corner.
Evan giggled and rolled his eyes while shimmying out of his boxer briefs. “Don’t you mean to your balcony?”
“Shut up.” Adam had never felt so ecstatic, like he was floating on air, and he couldn’t stop grinning. “We still doing this?”
Evan snorted. “If you stop, I’ll inflict serious pain.”
“To my nads?”
“Any body part within reach.”
To emphasize his point, Evan tentatively brushed his fingers over the hot, hard length of Adam’s shaft. Just that one wind-soft touch caused Adam’s dick to leak copious amounts of precome, and he groaned, jolting.
Evan’s eyes rounded. “Are you…?”
Adam shook his head. “I’m fine. Great. Felt… awesome.”
Biting into his bottom lip, Evan blinked hesitantly. Then he tested the same move again, and his fingers teased Adam’s cock with feather-light touches. Adam had to sink his teeth into his own lip to prevent himself from crying out. But when Evan wrapped his hand around Adam’s dick, Adam lost it and moaned loudly.
The reaction seemed to make Evan bolder. His grip tightened, and he started a slow tug, up and down, taking his time. Adam had had his dick stroked by hands other than his before. But it had never felt as spectacular as it did now. Was the reason Evan? Adam chose to believe so.
All too soon he was close to the edge. He put a hand over Evan’s to halt him.
“Don’t wanna come yet,” Adam breathed out, feeling like his body was literally on fire, inside and out. He was sweating bullets, his dick was painfully erect, and his balls twitched with a need to release their heavy load.
Evan released him slowly, with a lingering thumb swipe over the leaking slit. Then he lifted his fingers and put them in his mouth. Adam had to take a death grip on the base of his cock or blow then and there.
“Jesus, Evan,” Adam whispered hoarsely. “You’re killing me.”
A devilish flame in Evan’s amused gaze told Adam that his best-friend-turned-lover had a pretty good idea of what he was doing to Adam. “Couldn’t help it. Wanted to… taste your flavors. Mmm, sweet.”
Adam lost it. He plastered his body over Evan’s and started a fierce grind against him, their cocks nuzzling heatedly. Evan oomphed when Adam came down hard on top of him. Adam was beyond caring, so out of his mind with want burning through him. He hooked his hands under Evan’s shoulders to anchor himself and picked up the pace. Evan clung to him, first with his arms only but then throwing his legs around him too, surrounding Adam like vines wrapping a tree trunk.
Nothing more was said. They panted and ground against each other in a feverish rush to reach a point of climax. Evan kissed Adam’s cheek and neck, whispering sweet words of love and lust in his ear. Adam repaid in kind, slobbering wet, hot kisses wherever he could and murmuring his own love confessions against Evan’s soft, smooth skin.
Evan wiggled one hand between their writhing, taut bodies, clumsily grabbed both their dicks, squeezed them together, and stroked almost savagely. Adam joined him, sliding his own hand in, the motion made slippery with ample droplets of precome from both of them. The scent and sounds of sex increased. Rough panting filled the air, drowning out other noises, save for the creaking of the bed.
Adam craved reenacting all his favorite scenes from Evan’s books. But he found that, despite his recent forays into the exciting world of gay porn, he didn’t really have a clue what the hell he was doing. Sleeping with girls, a grand total of two, hadn’t prepared him for the intricacies of gay sex.
So within his head, Adam let his imagination take over. All the sex scenes from Evan’s stories paraded in neat order, one following another, each one showcasing the two of them locked in heated embraces, limbs entwined, lips fused, hearts beating as one.
No man could have resisted the overwhelming surge of desire and fulfillment mixed.
“Shit, E-Evan, g-gonna come,” Adam gasped as his orgasm rolled over him.
“M-me too,” Evan replied in a shaky, cracking voice.
Then hot spunk wetted their hands where they were joined over their cocks. Adam jerked so violently he feared he’d crack a bone or snap a tendon. His hips moved of their own volition, his muscles soon protesting the strain. But he couldn’t stop moving until he had wrung out every last drop from his prick.
“Oh God, A-Adam,” Evan moaned, his body shaking, his arms and legs quivering. He too lurched and jolted with each new wave of pleasure until slowly the climax ebbed and gave him a chance to calm down.
Adam was too weak to move an inch. Thankfully Evan didn’t object. For a good while, they lay that way, Adam on top of Evan, the squishy substance smeared between them growing sticky and cool. Adam focused on breathing until he was no longer gasping for air and his raging heartbeat quieted in his ears.
Finally, after a couple of shaky efforts, Adam was able to push himself up and off Evan, and he landed on the bed next to Evan with a soft thud. Neither spoke yet. Adam relished the feel of his best friend’s warm, sweaty skin as their arms and legs still touched. He would never have thought such a small thing could affect him so profoundly.
“So… how was that?” Adam asked at long last, staring numbly at the ceiling but still flying high in the stratosphere of pleasure. He buzzed all over, tiny tendrils of electricity dancing over his skin and underneath it. Nothing in his past could have prepared him for the wondrous afterglow he felt.
“Gah…,” Evan muttered, out of breath. Apparently he had no words, not after what they’d just been through.
Adam found that funny, so he chuckled.
“Shut. Up.” Evan could be succinct and on point when he wished.
Adam smiled. He was so happy he felt he might burst apart at the seams. “So… wanna do it again?”
“Now?” Evan sounded so horrified that Adam started to laugh.
“No. Later. After we’ve had a nap. But… I meant, you know, you wanna do this again? With me, I mean?” Adam waited with bated breath, knowing what he wanted to hear but afraid of what he might hear. In an act of self-defense, he quickly added, “Was I too rough on you? I didn’t hurt you, did I?” God, was it possible he’d made Evan’s first sexual experience a bad one…?
Evan stretched and yawned. “I think I like sex. This kind of sex. Sex with you. Yeah, we’ll do it again. But later. I’m gonna catch some z’s first.”
Adam let out a relieved exhale. Evan was satisfied with what they’d done. Obviously it hadn’t been all that it could be, but there’d be time later to experiment to see what they liked and to talk about what they fantasized about.
The gist of the matter was that they’d taken their friendship forward onto a new level—that of lovers—and somehow made it work. The sex, at least. No, not sex, lovemaking. Yeah, that sounded better.
Adam reached for the nightstand and the box of tissues there, snatched a couple, and did what felt natural, which was to clean up the mess they’d made. The cold splatter on their chests and groins had become sticky and gooey, but he got it all off both of them.
“Evan?”
“Mmm-hmm?”
&n
bsp; “You think we’re gonna make it? You know, as a couple?”
“Uh-huh.”
Not a ringing endorsement but a sort of confirmation. Adam took that as a sign to throw the tissues into the trash, settle comfortably on the bed next to the guy he loved in so many ways, and try to get some sleep. Adam yawned, not realizing how worn out he was until his eyes fluttered closed, and settled in for the night.
Evan rolled on the bed next to Adam, wiggling backward until Adam took the hint and spooned him. It was a sweet position, Adam concluded, Evan’s scent enveloping his senses. He wrapped an arm around Evan’s midsection, and Evan pulled Adam’s hand up to his chest so he could hold it over his heart. The soft kiss Evan placed on Adam’s knuckles made Adam smile.
“Evan?”
“Hmm?”
“I love you.”
“I love you too, Adam. Now shush. Need sleep. Have plans for later. Big plans.”
“Evan?”
“Whaaat?” Evan huffed, an irritated note slipping into his voice.
“I’m glad you wrote those smutty books.”
“You’re welcome. Now…. Shut. Up.”
Adam chuckled and then snuggled closer to his best friend and beloved. Life was good, and Evan’s promise of what would follow come morning only sweetened the deal. He placed a kiss tenderly on Evan’s nape, closed his eyes, and let Evan’s breathing slowly lull him toward sleep.
Real love, Adam decided, was not based on romance or erotica, candle-lit dinners with champagne and strawberries, or fantabulous sex on a bearskin rug in front of a roaring fireplace. No, real love came from bottomless wells of affection, trust, honesty, respect, and compromise.
We have all that in spades, Adam thought just before his lights went out. A true friend like Evan knew everything about his best buddy—and loved him regardless.
Who said friends couldn’t be lovers? No one of consequence.
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