Southbound Surrender

by Raen Smith

  She has to be there. I know she does.

  I run up the incline that leads to the dock and soon my feet are pounding against the wood platform. The faint song of a carousel is playing in the distance. I come barreling up to the entrance, my legs burning while I push my way forward in desperate search of the pink-striped sweater. I pause for a second to put on my shoes. I step into them as fast as I can, pounding them onto my feet with my steps. My eyes are peeled, hoping for just a glimpse of familiarity. But all I see are workers ebbing and flowing to finish setting up the rides and tents. I slow down, checking every hidden space around me. Just as I’m coming to a fast walk…

  BAM!

  A loud crash sounds, making me stop. A large wooden slab swings down on a food stand, and a face appears through the opening. Bags of popcorn hang above her. She smiles at me for a second with bright red lipstick before returning back to the popcorn machine. The other side of the stand is open and through the window I see more rides on the dock. The vendor looks friendly enough so I take a few steps toward her.

  “Have you seen a woman in a pink-striped sweater and blonde hair?” I blurt out. I’m panting now, so I put my hands on my knees.

  She nods her head but keeps her eyes on the popcorn machine and continues to work.

  “Oh, thank God. Please, tell me which way did she go?” I ask, leaning up against the stand now. My head is half-way into the stand when a hand clasps my shoulder.

  “Sir, the carnival isn’t open. I’m sorry, you’re going to have to leave.” The voice is deep and rough, and I’m afraid to see where it’s coming from. He spins me around, and I look down to see a short, surly man with a curly beard that fills up the entire space of his neck. His mustache is wiry and is twisted up on the ends with a serious amount of wax. I stare down at the sheen of his bald head that glistens in the sun and follow it to his torso. He’s wearing a black t-shirt that exposes the veins in his incredibly superhuman biceps. This guy looks like the strong man at the circus act except he’s missing a red and white-striped leotard and big barbell with ball weights on the end.

  “There’s a woman I need to find…” I start.

  “Sorry, sir. You have to go,” he repeats with a shake of his head. “We don’t open for another hour.”

  “Please let me look for her, and then I’ll leave,” I say. “I promise.”

  He looks at me with a blank expression, as if he’s bored. I realize that he’s not going to budge under the current circumstances. I never thought I’d do what I am about to do, but it’s Piper that we’re talking about here. So I slide my hand into my pocket and retrieve my wallet.

  “I’ll give you twenty bucks,” I say, opening my wallet and grabbing a twenty. I hold it up, but all he does is raise his eyebrows and fold his arms across his huge chest. His arms are so big that he can barely fold them across his body.

  The woman in the popcorn stand lets out a small noise that sounds like a laugh. I turn around to see a huge, pink bubble in front of her face. She lets it pop and sucks the gum back into her mouth, somehow not smudging her red lipstick.

  “Forty?” I ask, grabbing another twenty from the wallet, but he doesn’t flinch. I’m desperate, and he’s knows it. I look into my wallet to see a handful of bills, including another set of twenties and a couple of fives. I pull it all out and flash it in front of his face. “I have close to a hundred bucks here. Plus, if you have an ATM around here somewhere, I can pull more money out. It’s all yours. Please.”

  A cluck sounds behind me, and I turn to see the woman now leaning over the counter. “Oh, Jasper. Just let him go find her already. He’s obviously pretty desperate.”

  “Yeah, Jasper. Please,” I say as I turn back to the man. I’m waiting for him to snatch the bills out of my hand, but he keeps his arms folded and laughs instead.

  “I was just seeing how far you would go,” he finally says as he takes a step toward me. He unfolds his arms and wraps his hand around my arm and squeezes. “This girl you’re after, why is she running from ya? You ain’t some kind of abuser or killer, are ya?”

  “No, no, no. Not at all. God, do I look like one?” I ask.

  He shrugs his shoulders and tightens his grip. Somehow this little man is emasculating me, and it’s really starting to get on my nerves that Piper is out here somewhere, and he’s not letting me go after her.

  “She’s the love of my life, and I need to be with her. I need to tell her that,” I say.

  “Aw. How sweet,” the woman says behind me. “Jasper, just let him go already. Honey, I saw her running toward the carousel. It’s right next to the Ferris wheel. She’s probably there unless someone caught her and kicked her out. ”

  Jasper loosens his grip and gives me a light shove in the chest. “You better not make me regret letting you go. You better not be lying to me, boy.”

  “I’m not, I swear. Thanks.” I shove the money in my wallet and cram it back into my pocket. I look up to see the Ferris wheel poking into the sky and start jogging toward it.

  “Now go get that girl!” The Popcorn Lady yells behind me. I imagine it’s in between bubbles.

  Chapter 16

  The Ferris wheel seats are rocking gently in the breeze, pulling me closer to Piper with every step. The carousel music is louder in my ears, and I catch the swirl of the bunnies and rabbits and horses going around and around in my peripheral vision. They become a blur as I try to focus in on the one thing I want to see.

  A big lollipop of balloons catches my attention tied to a cart just before the Ferris wheel. I dig out my wallet, throw a bill on the counter, grab a pink balloon, and pass the attendant before he can say anything. I’m walking up to the Ferris wheel now, pink balloon in hand, when I see her climb into a seat. A man in a black shirt puts the bar down and fastens her in.

  “Piper! Wait!” I sprint the last few steps to the metal fence barricading the Ferris wheel. The rest of the seats are empty, and no one is in line. It’s just Piper on the ride by herself. “Let me come on.”

  She opens her mouth like she’s about to say something but then clamps it shut. Her face is still flushed and her eyes are red, but she’s the most beautiful sight I’ve ever seen.

  “Please, Piper,” I say before I turn my attention to the man running the ride. “Can I ride with her, please?”

  He turns away from me and looks at Piper. I’m on the other side of the fence, holding my breath as I wait for her answer. He’s standing in front of her, and I can’t hear or see her reaction, but he opens up the bar across her lap.

  Never in my life have I wanted to ride on a Ferris wheel this bad.

  He opens the gate and says, “You lucky son of a bitch.”

  “Tell me about it,” I reply and walk through the gate. The pink balloon bobs behind me.

  A small smile curls up in the corner of her lips as I walk closer to her.

  “For you, lovely lady,” I say as I extend the balloon to her. She takes the string in her hand and gazes up at the balloon before she looks at me with tears in her eyes.

  “I’m sorry –” she whispers.

  “Don’t.” I slide in next to her and set the bag alongside of me. “Not now. Let’s just enjoy the ride.”

  I grab her hand and squeeze it as the man puts the bar over our laps and secures it. He syas, “Just be sure you don’t let that balloon go. Keep it close on your lap so it doesn’t get caught on the spokes and cause some crazy malfunction.”

  “I won’t,” she says as she snakes it closer to her lap until she’s holding the balloon in her hands.

  “Don’t worry, I won’t ever let her go.” I turn to Piper and squeeze her hand again.

  “Whatever,” the man mutters before he goes to the controls and fumbles with a few buttons before I feel us inching backward.

  “Cash?” Piper asks softly as we rise up into the air, above the ocean and the people on the beach that look like small multi-colored dots.

  “Yeah?”

  “I don’t ever want
you to let me go,” she says as she lifts her face toward mine. I twist my body and meet her lips in a sweet, soft kiss that ignites a fire through my body as we tumble toward the ground. I slowly release her lips and press my back into the seat, still holding her hand. Then she rests her head on my shoulder, and my body feels like it always should, with Piper resting against it.

  “I won’t,” I whisper. “Believe me, I won’t.”

  We sit the rest of the ride in silence, holding hands, and letting our bodies go up and down with each other over the crashing waves of the ocean.

  I want to leave you here thinking of us riding the Ferris wheel, holding hands for an eternity in the bright sunshine of Miami and the shimmering waves of the Atlantic Ocean. But our journey isn’t finished. There’s one more thing that Piper and I need to do even though in this moment, we can’t possibly fathom what’s about to happen. There’s one last strand that the universe left loose. She, my friends, won’t let us rest until we thread it.

  ***

  “How did you convince them to let you go on the ride anyway? I almost got kicked out,” I say as we meander through the rides and tents to emerge beneath the entrance.

  She gives a half-shoulder shrug and answers, “I guess I can be convincing.”

  “Tell the truth.”

  “I’m a girl, plus I was crying,” she replies. “It’s a weakness in most men. They don’t like to see women cry.”

  “Especially pretty ones.”

  “Either way,” she replies with another shrug. “I’m sorry for everything, Cash. I don’t know how to make it up to you, and I don’t know where we go from here.”

  “Well, for starters, I think you should stop running away from me.”

  “Agreed,” she says as we walk down the dock and back onto the sand. “I won’t run anymore, and I promise I won’t leave you anymore vague notes that don’t tell you where I’m going if, for whatever reason, I have to move or anything else.”

  “Good. That’s a good first step. I feel confident about it.” I nod my head and laugh.

  “Baby steps.”

  “That’s right,” I say. “If we take it slow, maybe we’ll make it through this thing.”

  “I think you should talk to Big Dave, too,” she offers. “I mean, I know the whole gist of the story from my dad’s perspective, but there are always two sides of a story. I think you need to hear it from Big Dave, and I think you need to ask why he never told you.”

  “I know he didn’t want me to worry about the cancer being hereditary, but I feel like it’s a huge deal to not tell your son about how his mom died,” I say. “Maybe he was waiting for the universe to speak to him. Like some epiphany that it was okay to tell me or something. You never know with Big Dave.”

  “Maybe,” Piper says. “But you need to find out from him. I feel bad that you had to find out this way and that he wasn’t the one to tell you. I need to apologize.”

  “How are we going to tell your dad?”

  “Well, I was thinking about how that conversation might go,” she says.

  “And?”

  “I was thinking that the conversation wouldn’t go that well, but it doesn’t matter. The heart wants what the heart wants, and my heart wants you, Cash. I know that the damage is done, and we can’t take anything back that’s happened in the past. All we can do is move forward. As much as I would like for our dads to get along and everything, does it really matter? When it comes down to it, all that really matters is us and how we feel. I can’t live in the shadow of my dad’s mistakes forever.”

  “I don’t want you to,” I say as we move out of the sand and walk along the sidewalk bordering the beach. “And for the record, which I think we are both quite aware of, my heart wants you, Piper. The second I laid my eyes on you and your gorgeous green eyes, your hair, your lips…it was you. It was always you.”

  “I know,” she says as she squeezes my hand tighter. “I’m glad you found me again.”

  “Can this ever be normal? Everything between us?” I ask.

  “I don’t think anything is ever going to normal between us, but that’s what I love about it. I love that I still don’t know what your favorite color is. I love that you were willing to show up at my front door with your big rig and convince me to go on a five-day trip to Miami after we didn’t see each other for five years. I love that you punched two guys for me in a matter of three days. And I love that you are willing to stand up for whoever and whatever you believe in, even if it is hauling loads to the shitholes of America like you said.”

  “Before I met you, my favorite color was blue. But now it’s pink. And don’t think twice about trying to change my mind. Pink drives me wild,” I reply. “And here’s another little fact about me: I absolutely hate public displays of affection, and you have totally thrown that annoyance of mine under the bus. I want to touch you every second I get, and I don’t care who sees it. So, there’s also that.”

  “See? We have so much to learn about each other. We can share every abnormal nuance with each other to add to the bizarre factor of our relationship.”

  “An impossibility in an impossible universe,” I say as we cross the street toward the storefronts.

  “Something like that,” she replies with a laugh.

  We walk past a little girl holding her mom’s hand. They’re both looking into the window of a cake shop, their heads almost pressed against the glass. Both the little girl and mom have blonde hair pulled tight into ponytails. Piper stops and turns to me, “Do you mind?”

  “Not at all. I was thinking the same thing.” I let go of her hand to let her do this alone.

  She walks up to the little girl and bends down, handing the balloon toward her. The little girl’s eyes widen in surprise and she looks up at her mom. Her mom smiles and then the little girl nods her head wildly. The little girl takes the string into her hand and clenches it tight, letting the pink balloon bob near her mom’s head. The words ‘thank you’ escapes from the woman’s lips before they turn back to the window.

  Piper strides back to me with a smile on her face and takes my hand again, “She promised to never let it go.”

  “I hope she doesn’t. It was a twenty-dollar balloon,” I say. Piper hits me on the shoulder as we move up the street. “Cash Money should be done by now, but I’m starving. Do you want to grab something to eat before we head back? We should still be able to make it back to Madison by Saturday. That will give you an extra day to study and to tell that roommate of yours that he should heavily consider legally changing his name.”

  “I think if you would get to know him, you’ll like Kelly. He’s one of the good guys. And yes, I definitely want to grab something to eat. Anything will beat the mystery truck stop sandwiches.”

  “There’s a café on the other side of the street.” I point to a red awning a half a block away. “How does Rosewood Café sound to you?”

  “Sounds delicious.”

  Rosewood Café is clattering with noise and motion even though it’s a weekday afternoon. Almost all of the seats and booths are taken in the small cafe. It’s decked out in a nautical theme with fish nets hanging from the ceiling and a rainbow of surfboards running along the wall. Piper points to a pair of empty chairs tucked in the corner near the front window. We weave ourselves through full tables and a waitress who hands us a menu before we slip into our seats.

  I loop the bag around the back of the chair and open the menu. “This place is crazy busy for a weekday afternoon, don’t you think?”

  “Totally agree, and I would suggest that we go somewhere else, but I’m starving and exhausted. I need food now, otherwise it won’t be pretty,” she says as she scans through the menu.

  A static crackle echoes above the clanks of the forks and the chatter. “Is this thing on?” A voice booms through the space.

  “Yeah!” A few people yell and clap before the room becomes silent.

  Piper whispers, “What the hell?”

  I shrug my shoulders as a
man with a long ponytail jumps up on the counter with a mic. “We are on. Welcome to Rosewood Café and to Miami’s finest afternoon trivia game. I’m Jimmy, and I’ll be your host for today’s game. Right now, the lovely Leanna is passing around slips of paper and pens. It is not a requirement to partake in the activities, but if you’re sitting here watching, throw us a bone and buy a coffee or something, will ya? Especially Frank over here.”

  A few customers raise their mugs toward a man with matching white hair and beard and let out cheers. I finally realize that most of the people are at least double, if not triple, our age. There are floral shirts and varying shades of gray hair galore.

  Jimmy waves his hand, signaling the crowd to quiet down. “Most of you know the rules. We recommend that your group doesn’t exceed six people, and you may, based on Frank’s insistence, go at the competition alone. Winners or winner,” he eyes Frank who is already writing something down on a piece of paper, “receives a coveted spot on Rosewood Café’s winner board and bragging rights, along with a twenty-five dollar certificate to the café redeemable on your next visit. Please write a team name on your first sheet of paper and hand it back to Leanna or… it looks like the lovely Reba joined us as well.” He points to a dark-haired woman with a pencil behind her ear who gives a little wave. “Give your sheets to Leanna or Reba please. We will have three rounds this afternoon and teams will be eliminated after each round until we have a victor.”

  Piper looks at me and says, “Are you up for the challenge? I think it could be kind of fun. As long as I can order food at the same time, I’m in.”

  “Sure, why not?”

  “We could wager something. I’m a betting kind of girl.”

  “Okay,” I say, nodding my head as I weigh the odds of me winning. Piper’s wicked smart, but I’ve been harboring a serious amount of random facts for a long time. “Since it is only day three, and I’ve already won what I want, why don’t I give you a shot at winning what you want? If you win, I’ll go to med school.”

  She studies me seriously and asks, “Who says you won your prize yet?”