His Love Endures Forever

by Beth Wiseman

  “Danielle and . . .” Levi pulled his eyes from his father’s and shifted his weight. He looped his thumbs in his suspenders, thankful it was a warm and sunny day. He’d have done anything to be spared asking his father this next question, but he had to know. “Danielle and I haven’t . . .” He shrugged, still not looking up.

  “Haven’t what?”

  “Uh, you know . . .” Levi locked eyes with his father. Read my mind, Daed. Don’t make me say it.

  In some ways, Levi and Danielle were so close. But in other ways they were miles apart, and Levi’s question was one that needed to be answered if he was going to narrow the distance between them.

  “Ach . . . do you mean . . . you haven’t been intimate?” Daed’s expression was difficult to read.

  Levi nodded. “I’m afraid . . .” He took a deep breath. “I’m afraid I’ll hurt her.”

  Daed raised a brow, frowning. “Huh?”

  Levi rubbed his forehead and sighed. “You know, because she’s pregnant. I’m afraid for the baby.”

  A slight smile formed on his father’s face. “Ach, I see. If there are no problems, married couples have relations usually until just three or four weeks before the baby is born.” Daed paused, stroking his beard. “Or in the case of Jacob, all the way up until the day he was born.”

  Levi could feel his face turning three shades of red as he avoided his father’s eyes.

  Daed slapped him on the shoulder. “Go home and be a husband to your fraa tonight. I promise you, it will be fine.”

  Levi knew his face was still red, but he smiled ear to ear just the same, wondering if they would finish early for the day today.

  VERA WASN’T SURE who she was trying to avoid the most. Danielle or Sarah. She could barely stand to think about Danielle and Levi married, yet Sarah’s attempt at seducing her son—then telling Danielle about it—wasn’t settling well with her either. Vera didn’t regret asking Sarah to try to talk Levi out of his marriage to Danielle. The boy needed to be reminded about what was at stake. His life. His faith. But Sarah took it a step further than Vera would have liked. Although, if she was honest, she couldn’t help but wonder if she’d be finding fault with the girl if her plan had worked, which made Vera question her own morals a bit.

  She longed to know how Levi was doing. Was he happy? Well fed? Did Danielle read from the Bible with him in the evenings? Did they share devotion time? She doubted it. And that caused a pain in her heart. She was lost in her own thoughts when Lillian gently nudged her.

  “Vera, what do you want to contribute?” Lillian was holding a pad and pen in hand, smiling. The main purpose of today’s gathering was for everyone to come up with a list of food items to take to a nearby homeless shelter.

  “I’ll make a lemon pie and bring a pot of my stew.” Vera smiled, watching Danielle out of the corner of her eye. Both Katie Ann and Emily had stayed close to her. Probably to protect her from any bitter words from Sarah. Or Vera. She frowned as she thought about her own daughter having to protect Danielle from the likes of mean ol’ Vera. That is not who I am.

  Everyone was gathered in Emily’s living room, plates in their laps, as Lillian continued to make the rounds. Vera had barely touched the sampling of everything she had on her plate. She stood up and weaved her way through the chairs and into the kitchen. As she tossed her plate in the trash, she noticed that none of the cookies Danielle had brought were gone.

  Well, it was no wonder. Who would want to eat those cookies with all the homemade treats around?

  She twisted her mouth from side to side, knowing how she would feel if no one ate something that she brought. Glancing back into the living room, she knew that most of the women had loaded their plates for the last time. She let out a heavy sigh, sure that Levi must be starving in his new household.

  Vera stared at the box for a few more moments. As discreetly as she could, she grabbed a handful of Danielle’s store-bought chocolate chip cookies and stuffed them into her apron pockets. The girl had brought about two dozen cookies, and Vera probably now had about a dozen in her pockets.

  She hurried through the living room, found her purse, then excused herself to the restroom. After she closed the door, she stole one of her daughter’s hand towels, wrapped the cookies inside them, and stuffed them in her purse. Betsy would eat anything.

  DANIELLE DUMPED THE box of macaroni and cheese into the pot and set the timer. Levi would be home soon, and she wanted to have a hot meal for him. After the noodles had cooked exactly ten minutes, she drained them and added the cheese powder and a can of tuna. Voila! Dinner. She smiled as she recalled her day. Most of the ladies had been nice to her and included her in their conversations. Danielle hadn’t said much, but she had to admit that she felt the glow of a new bride when several of the women had congratulated her. No one brought up the baby, though, and that made her kind of sad. Vera and Sarah had nodded when Danielle arrived, but then stayed away from her. And that was fine by Danielle.

  She gave the noodles and tuna a final stir, pulled the pot off the stove, then glanced at her box of cookies. At least a dozen were gone, so she felt good about that. And she could send the rest with Levi for his lunches. She glanced around the kitchen. The sink had last night’s dishes in it, but she’d been gone a good part of the day. She’d get to them tomorrow.

  A few minutes later, she heard Elam’s buggy pull up, and she knew Levi would be coming in. She smoothed the wrinkles in her skirt and waited for him, looking forward to a kiss and hug after a long day. Levi burst through the door just as she leaned down and picked a stray noodle from the floor. His face was flushed and he seemed out of breath.

  “I made dinner.” She straightened and smiled. “Something cooked. I mean, it’s probably nothing like—”

  Levi’s mouth shushed her with a kiss like she hadn’t experienced since her wedding night. He swooped her into his arms, kissing her all the while as he carried her directly to their bed. And as he leaned over her, looking at her with such passion as he unwound her braid, Danielle had one thought.

  I should have cooked a hot meal a long time ago.

  Fifteen

  LEVI HAD NEVER FELT MORE UNCOMFORTABLE IN his life, and he wasn’t sure how or why he’d agreed to this. He glanced around the waiting room filled with pregnant women. This is no place for a man.

  Danielle latched on to his hand, and he didn’t pull away, even though public affection made him a little uncomfortable. But he knew why he was here.

  Ever since he’d spoken with his father a couple of weeks ago, Levi and Danielle had spent a lot of time in the bedroom. And it seemed like Levi would agree to most anything while they were in there. He scratched his chin with his free hand as he recalled their conversation last week when Danielle had asked him to come to the doctor’s office with her.

  Danielle waited until today to tell Levi that he would come in for her examination, then they’d run a machine over her stomach and tell them if the baby was a boy or a girl. If the first part wasn’t frightening enough, the second part seemed downright unnatural. He glanced down at his black slacks and long-sleeved blue shirt. The only part of his Amish attire that he’d shucked was his hat. His hair was still in the traditional cut, and he wasn’t sure he could keep his britches up without suspenders. Danielle had suggested a belt, but Levi kept the suspenders. He wondered if everyone could tell he was Amish.

  He reminded himself that he wasn’t actually Amish, even though he and Danielle had attended worship service recently. But it wasn’t the same, and Levi was working on feeling at peace about all that.

  His mother still hadn’t been by for a visit, but Emily had come by twice. God bless his sister. She’d brought homemade bread, cookies, a pot of stewed chicken, and a batch of creamed celery. Danielle hadn’t seemed offended at all, and for the next three nights they’d eaten the way Levi was used to eating. He was praying every night that Emily would find time to teach Danielle to cook. Emily had learned from the best. Their mother.
<
br />   “Don’t look so nervous.” Danielle squeezed his hand as she leaned over and whispered to him.

  “I’m not nervous,” Levi finally said as he asked God to forgive the small lie. He forced a smile, wishing he were anywhere but here. He was sure his father had never had to do this before. Jacob and Emily were delivered by a midwife, and Levi had often heard his father tell of how he waited on the front porch until they were both born. And even though Levi and Betsy were born in a hospital in Middlefield, Daed had been outside in a waiting room, and to Levi’s knowledge, he’d never been to a doctor’s appointment with their mother.

  Levi swallowed hard. “I just don’t know why you’d want me in there when they . . .”

  Danielle smiled. “Okay, listen. You don’t have to come in for the exam, but I really want you to be in there to hear the baby’s heartbeat. Remember the other day, when the baby kicked and you got to feel it? That was cool, huh?”

  “Ya. That was cool.” He smiled at the recollection, feeling relieved that he wouldn’t have to go in while the doctor examined her.

  “Then that’s that. I’ll come get you when it’s time for the ultrasound.”

  “And they will be able to see if it’s a boy or a girl?” Levi took a deep breath. “Or if anything is wrong with the baby?”

  Danielle gave his hand another squeeze. “Don’t worry. I’m sure nothing is wrong with the baby.” She paused. “I don’t care if it’s a boy or a girl. I just want a healthy baby.”

  The whole process made Levi nervous, but he nodded. His wife’s beautiful face was aglow, and if it would make her happy, he’d suffer through it.

  It was about ten minutes later when they called Danielle’s name. Danielle Detweiler. He liked hearing that.

  About a half hour later, a nurse came out and called Levi’s name, motioning for him to follow her. And he did. On shaky legs.

  Danielle was lying on her back, her head propped up with a few pillows, with electronic gadgets all around her. He frowned, thinking she looked sick.

  “I’m fine, Levi,” she said as the nurse left them alone, promising to be back shortly with the ultrasound machine. “The doctor said everything is okay, but I’ve kinda gained a little too much weight. So I’ll have to watch that.” She frowned, but Levi thought she was perfect. And how could she be gaining weight when he was sure he’d lost weight? His appetite just wasn’t what it used to be. Except maybe when Emily came calling. He smiled to himself, wondering when his sister’s next visit would be.

  A few minutes later, the nurse lifted Danielle’s shirt to reveal her slightly enlarged tummy. Levi felt his cheeks warming, but he reminded himself that Englisch men watched this kind of procedure all the time. That’s what Danielle had told him.

  He thought about the life she was carrying and how he’d be raising this child as his own, and suddenly he couldn’t wait to find out if the baby was a boy or a girl. But it feared him that something might be wrong with the child, and Levi knew that the machine would tell them that too. He held his breath as the older woman doctor squirted a thick goo over Danielle’s belly, then ran a round piece of equipment over her stomach. He watched the screen as gray images moved around. There was only a slushy sound, and Levi wondered if that was normal. Within a minute, there was a faint rhythm that got stronger as the doctor moved the wand.

  “There it is,” the doctor said. “A good, steady heartbeat.” She looked up at Levi and pointed to the monitor and circled a pulsing image. “Do you see this, Daddy?”

  Levi blinked a few times. Daddy. That sounded nice. He nodded as he watched the tiny life inside of his wife, a miracle, a blessing from God. Then he looked at Danielle as her eyes filled with tears.

  “Is everything okay with the baby?” Danielle bit her bottom lip.

  The doctor smiled. “Everything looks perfect.”

  Relief swept over Levi like sun rays on a wintry day.

  “Do you want to know what it is, a boy or a girl?”

  Danielle looked up at Levi, and he nodded.

  Levi couldn’t breathe. Any second, he would know if they were going to have a girl or a boy. He wasn’t sure Danielle was breathing either.

  “Congratulations, Mr. and Mrs. Detweiler.” The doctor smiled. “You are having a boy.”

  Danielle looked up at him as she squeezed his hand. “We’re having a son, Levi.”

  It was everything Levi could do not to cry. It was the strangest feeling. He knew in his heart that he hadn’t created this baby.

  God had.

  And He had chosen Levi to be the father.

  “Be a father to this child, Levi. He will do great things in the future.”

  Levi heard the voice loud and clear, and if he’d ever doubted that the Lord’s hand was resting on Him, Danielle, and the baby . . . he didn’t anymore.

  “Have you picked out a name?” The doctor smiled as she packed up the ultrasound machine and cleaned off Danielle’s belly.

  Danielle looked up at Levi. “Maybe.”

  The doctor smiled. “I’ll be eager to hear it when you’ve decided. Danielle, just check with the receptionist on your way out to make your next appointment.”

  Danielle nodded, then looked back at Levi as the doctor closed the door behind her. “I’d like to name him Joshua, if that’s okay with you?”

  Levi swallowed hard. He doubted that Danielle knew the biblical meaning behind the name, that Joshua succeeded Moses as leader of the Israelites, leading the people to the Promised Land. Danielle probably didn’t know that Joshua was the Hebrew word for Jesus.

  “I think that is a great name.” He shifted his weight, reaching for her hand. “What made you choose it?”

  She sat up and pulled her shirt down. Then she shrugged. “I don’t know.” She let go of his hand and slid off the table. She pulled on her shoes, then picked up her purse from the chair. Reaching for the door, she stopped and faced him. “Actually . . .” She pushed her hair behind her ear. “I woke up the other morning with that name in my head.”

  Danielle smiled before walking out the door and down the hall. Levi stood there for a few moments before he followed her. God had given her the name. Just as surely as he’d just spoken to Levi.

  About an hour later, they pulled into the driveway, and Levi shook his head as he looked around the yard at all the work that needed to be done. He was glad they’d repaired the porch steps, which had been a priority since Danielle was pregnant, but there were still cracked windowpanes and a fence surrounding the front yard that was about to topple over. And that was just the outside. He recalled the pristine way his family kept their property and comforted himself, knowing it would take time to have their own place looking like that.

  But when he followed Danielle into the living room, he couldn’t help but eye the paper plate on the floor next to one of the rocking chairs, two half-empty glasses, and an Englisch magazine with a pretty woman on the cover. As they made their way to the kitchen, Levi scrunched his nose. Something smelled unpleasant.

  “What’s that smell?” He gazed upon the stack of unwashed dishes that had been there for several days.

  Danielle put her purse on the counter as she turned to face him. “What smell?”

  “Something smells bad.”

  She walked to the refrigerator and pulled out a bottle of water. “I don’t smell anything.”

  Levi cringed. He was thankful that his mother hadn’t seen the way they were living. “Want me to help you clean up the kitchen?” He was used to being at work all day, coming home to eat, bathe, and read his Bible, then before he knew it . . . time for bed. Today he was off work to go with Danielle to the doctor, and for the first time, made himself take a good look around. Didn’t his new fraa know how to clean house? Even though she worked most afternoons, she still had the mornings to do a little cleanup.

  Danielle walked into the living room, slid the paper plate on the floor over with her foot, and sat down. “No, that’s okay. I’ll get it done tomorrow.” />
  Really? Levi sat down in the other rocker and reached for his Bible on the makeshift table next to him. A cardboard box.

  “Why do you still read the Bible every day when you don’t have to anymore? I mean, since you’re not Amish.” She cocked her head to one side.

  Levi marked his place with his finger. “I just like to. I think about what I’ve read, talk to God, and pray about things on my mind.”

  “Like what?”

  Levi closed the book. Danielle rarely wanted to talk about anything to do with God, even though he knew she felt God’s presence sometimes, just like she had at the little church where they’d been married. Or maybe even that morning, when she’d decided on their son’s name. “Uh, well . . . today I’m thanking the Lord that the baby looks healthy and that everything went well at the doctor.”

  Danielle kicked the rocker into motion with her foot. “Hmm . . .” She laid a hand across her stomach.

  Levi missed the family devotion time with his parents and Betsy. “Do you want to . . . uh, pray with me?”

  She shook her head. “No. But you go ahead.” She leaned her head back against the rocker but turned her head to face him. “Is that bad?”

  He shrugged. “No. It’s not bad.” He opened the Bible again but couldn’t focus. Holding his spot, he said, “Do you pray? I mean . . . ever?” He held his breath. Please, God, let her say yes.

  “Sometimes.”

  Relief washed over him.

  “You know how I feel about all the God stuff.” She paused, biting her bottom lip. “But sometimes I feel . . .” She shrugged. “I dunno. Like maybe there is Someone out there far, far away that I just can’t reach. Maybe I don’t try hard enough. Or maybe I’m not worthy.”

  This was the most he’d gotten out of Danielle about God since he’d known her, and it thrilled him to be having this discussion. “None of us are worthy, Danielle. Only Christ’s sacrifice made us forever-worthy.”

  “Then why do it, the praying, the talking to Him?”