Saving Ever After (Ever After #4)

by Stephanie Hoffman McManus

  Fuck, it was so hard to stay mad at her. I wanted to comfort her and tell her it was okay, but I couldn’t do that. Instead, I wiped the tears away with my thumbs and then continued to clean her up. I felt when she relaxed back into sleep. Once I had cleaned the sweat and vomit from her skin, I maneuvered her into my shirt and then I just stared down at her for a moment.

  “Why Mia, why do you do it?” I whispered, and then saw her eyes crack open.

  “I’m sorry,” she muttered quietly and then her eyes closed again.

  I got to my feet, picking her up with me. Her bed was still a mess so I couldn’t put her there. I carried her across the hall into my room, and set her on my bed, before returning to her room. I stripped all the bedding, carrying the sheets and blanket into the bathroom and dropping them in the hamper. Then I carried the entire hamper out to the laundry room, putting everything in to wash. Then I found a set of clean sheets and a spare blanket and remade the bed.

  Walking back in my room to get her, I came to a stop at the edge of the bed. She had snuggled deep in my blankets and was hugging my pillow closely to her body. Fuck, was it so wrong to want to leave her there?

  Yes, but I wanted to anyway.

  Something about seeing her there made everything else stop, like there was nothing else. Just me and her, and she was mine to take care of. Mine to hold if I wanted. But she wasn’t, and it was such a conflicting thing to feel when I was still so frustrated with this whole mess.

  I had to force my feet to move to her side of the bed instead of climbing in next to her and pulling her into my arms. She sighed deeply when I picked her up, and then burrowed into my arms, her sleepy head on my chest. I held her tighter. Everything this girl made me feel was wrong and confusing. How could I be so mad, and yet feel this thing tugging on my insides at the same time?

  I carried her back to the guest room and placed her down on the freshly made bed, tucking the blanket around her. I made sure the heavy blinds and curtains were both closed, hoping that would help her to sleep through the morning. She was going to be in hell when she woke up. I went and got a bottle of water and pain killers, setting them on the nightstand, knowing she would need those later.

  I left the door to her room open, and mine, so that I would be able to hear if she got sick again. Then I stripped out of my clothes, seeing the small scrap of paper that fell from my jeans pocket. I picked up the note with Kris’ phone number and set it on my dresser so I would remember to give it to her in the morning. I wasn’t sure about the guy, but he had gotten her out of that party and stayed with her instead of leaving her to fend for herself. I just hoped he wasn’t like the rest of her shitty friends. I wished she could see that they were not really her friends. They obviously didn’t give a shit about her.

  They should have been the ones that held her damn hair back while she puked her guts out, and made sure she got home safe. Yet, here I was taking care of her. This situation was totally ass backwards. They didn’t care enough, and I cared too much when I shouldn’t.

  Chapter 14

  Mia

  I sat on the bed in my dorm, staring at the scribbled handwriting on the back of my BU bookstore receipt. I didn’t remember everything from last night, but I remembered enough, hence my reluctance to call Kris with a ‘K’. I didn’t know if I was actually going to be able to work up the nerve to make the call when I felt so completely mortified. I didn’t even know him, but I called him Legolas. And a liar. Then he’d essentially taken care of the train wreck that was me last night, until the “real” Chris, came to my rescue.

  Then he’d given Chris his number and a message to pass along this morning, which he had. I still didn’t know what he meant by that. What the hell secret had I shared with him last night? I couldn’t remember telling him any secrets, unless he meant my friendship with Chris. If that was the case, I wasn’t so sure that there was anything to keep secret after the long lecture and reaming he gave me this morning before I bailed from Ace’s.

  My morning was already crap, so I didn’t see how it could get much worse, which is maybe the only reason I finally gave in and called the number on the paper. He didn’t answer. Probably because it was Monday, and everyone who wasn’t as hung over and miserable as I felt, was in class. I left a very brief message on Kris’ voicemail, basically just squeaking out my name and then quickly hanging up. I fell back on my bed and pulled a pillow over my face and groaned. I would still be in bed back at Ace’s if Chris hadn’t barged in and started chewing me out. Now there was too much on my mind to go back to sleep.

  Sadie’s impending return this afternoon was hanging over my head. I’d begged and pleaded with Chris not to tell her about last night. I’d promised him I wouldn’t so much as look at another bottle of alcohol. He hadn’t been happy about my request, but he hadn’t been happy about much of anything this morning.

  For about thirty seconds, I’d thought I was in heaven when I woke this morning in nothing but my underwear and a large t-shirt that smelled like Chris. I had vague recollections of being in his arms.

  Then the pounding started in my head, and my mouth tasted like something died in it overnight and my stomach started rioting. That was when everything from last night started sinking in and I realized it was official that I was the world’s greatest jackass and Chris was pretty much the sweetest guy ever, maybe even eligible for sainthood, for dealing with me.

  Of course, then the much less sweeter version of Chris came in and made me feel ten times worse. Not that I could really blame him after he cleaned up my vomit last night. That was about as humiliating as it got and I didn’t know if I would be able to look him in the face after today.

  Hell, he’d practically stripped me naked, but I’d been way too out of it to even enjoy it. Not to mention, the fact that he was cleaning up my vomit kind of took all the sexiness out of it.

  I truly meant it when I told him it wouldn’t happen again. Living through that humiliation was enough, then having Chris add on to it by throwing in my face how reckless, immature and irresponsible I’d been, only made the embarrassment and shame worse. No way did I want to go through it again.

  I understood his frustration and anger, but when he’d been yelling at me this morning, I’d just wanted to shout back at him and ask why he’d even bothered coming to get me, but I didn’t. I kept my mouth shut, blinking back hot tears, until he stormed back out of the room. Then I saw the neatly folded clothes sitting on the dresser and realized he’d also taken the time to wash my things. There was no holding back the tears then. I was such an idiot and in one night had probably ruined whatever shreds of friendship had existed between us. I gave myself that moment and let the tears fall for about a minute before I pulled myself together, shoved all the ugly feelings and thoughts down, got dressed and got the hell out of there.

  Now everything was coming back up to the surface. I wondered if I kept my face buried under my pillow, if all my problems would just disappear. Somehow I doubted it, but it would have been so easy to hide out and mope in my room all day.

  Unfortunately, after a while, my angry and empty stomach demanded I get up and do something about it. I was hungry, and my shelves and mini fridge were pretty bare, probably because I almost never bought groceries, and instead opted to eat in the dining hall or off campus. I dragged myself up and made a note to start stocking my fridge with actual food for instances like this one.

  I eyed my bed longingly one more time, before very reluctantly forcing myself to shower and dress so that when I ventured outside, I at least wouldn’t look like the undead creature from hell that I felt like. I didn’t have the energy or inclination to care about my hair, so I just pulled it back as much as I could into a messy bun. Strands fell loose all over, but I grabbed a pair of sunglasses to hide behind and called it as good as it was going to get.

  I nodded and mumbled a couple of “hi’s” as I passed familiar faces in the hall, but I didn’t give anyone the chance to pull me into a conversation,
quickly moving down to the elevators. The fresh air felt good when I stepped outside the building. It did a lot for making me feel human again. It was a nice day out for October, only slightly chilly with the sun peeking from behind a few fluffy clouds. I didn’t know what Boston weather was usually like, but in Seattle we’d be into the rainy season by now, the summer sun almost a distant memory.

  The weather was quickly forgotten when I noticed someone making a beeline for me. My eyes widened behind my sunglasses and I discreetly started looking for an escape route. The someone was Kris with a ‘K’ and he was striding toward me with a cocky grin and determined gleam in his eyes.

  Crap. He was even better looking than my drunken recollection of him. Tall, athletic build and prettier than any guy had a right to be. I still thought he looked a little like Legolas with all that pale blonde hair, if Legolas had that whole kind of trendy, but a little punk, vibe going on. Tight, but not hipster tight, black pants, a plain white v neck t with a woven button up left unbuttoned and a beanie covering most of that hair.

  It was a good look for him, not that I thought there would be a bad look on him, but he looked the kind of good that made girls whip their heads around for a second take as he walked by. It was too late for me to run back inside to avoid him, but at least my shades kept him from witnessing the way I just so thoroughly checked him out.

  “Hey Mia,” he said with a wide grin as he neared the spot where my feet were rooted to the ground.

  “Uh, hey Kris.”

  “Oh, so you believe me now,” he teased.

  “Yeah, sorry about that. Did you, uh, get my message?” I awkwardly looked down.

  “You mean the one where you said, ‘It’s Mia’ and then hung up? Yeah I got it.” He was still smiling.

  “Okay, good.”

  “You want to go get some lunch? Or is this breakfast for you?”

  “Ummm,” I hesitated, but then couldn’t really come up with a good reason to say no. “Sure.”

  We ended up at a little café not too far from campus with plenty of greasy food on the menu, which was absolutely what my body was craving. I ordered a cheese omelet with extra bacon, a huge plate of hashbrowns and toast, even knowing that it meant I was finally going to have to find my way to the fitness center on campus. Kris looked at me in awe, but then ordered the same thing himself, only he got the loaded omelet.

  “So, I guess I should say thank you for making sure I didn’t end up passed out in the bushes last night,” I told him after the waitress had taken our order and our menus.

  “Or in Leland Taylor’s bed again,” he said bluntly.

  I grabbed my glass of ice water and took a sip, not wanting to look him in the eye. “So I told you about that huh?” I certainly didn’t remember it, but I wasn’t altogether surprised considering my state of mind and how pissed I’d been last night.

  “Not exactly, but it seemed pretty likely after you called him a douche monkey, ass face, jerk hole, and then said you were going to ‘merc his ass’.” I looked up at his face to see him smirking at me.

  “You should probably just put me out of my misery now,” I groaned.

  “What fun would that be for me? I like you Mia,” he stated plainly and that made me feel slightly better and less like I needed to find a hole to crawl into. I guess that meant it was time to ask him what I’d been wondering all morning.

  “So what did you mean when you told Chris that you’d keep my secret?”

  His smile grew and my apprehension ratcheted up a notch. “I meant that I won’t tell anyone you’re hiding the drummer for Ashes and Embers’ number in your phone, since you seemed to be keeping that bit of info to yourself.” Just as I was about to breathe a sigh of relief, he added, “And I won’t tell anyone that you’re completely, hopelessly, pathetically in love with him.”

  “There’s no way I told you I’m in love with him,” I retorted. “Because I’m not,” I added. “In love with him.”

  “You are, but like I said. I won’t tell anyone.”

  “Whatever. Even if it were true, you don’t even know me so why are you being nice to me? Around here that secret is like gold. The first one, not the second one because that’s complete bullshit. Why wouldn’t you tell everyone I know him and that you met him?”

  “Like I said, I like you, and it seems like maybe you could use a friend. One who’s not going to ditch you at a party to go get high in another room.”

  “Wait, what do you mean? Who was getting high?”

  “Your good friend Jillian. Dawn. That whole group. It’s how they party.”

  I guess I shouldn’t have been so surprised to hear that. I knew a lot of kids in high school who messed around with pills and other stuff. It was never my thing though, and after walking away from the wreck that killed Lexi and Emma, I wanted nothing to do with that stuff. They’d both been so high that night, and I’d been too drunk to even realize how far gone they were. We all got in that car, letting Lexi behind the wheel. It was on me and Emma just as much as it was on her, but I was the only one left who had to live with that.

  As much as it didn’t surprise me that Jillian and the rest of them would be into that scene, I also didn’t just want to take this guy’s word for it.

  “How do you know that?” I asked him.

  “Jillian is my cousin, not that I like to spread that around.”

  “So you’re not her biggest fan.”

  “Are you after last night?”

  “I don’t know. She hasn’t done anything to me, except be nice to me and –”

  “And leave you drunk, on your own at a party where you knew almost no one, and it sounds like it wasn’t the first time.”

  “It’s not her job to babysit me.” I didn’t even really know why I was defending her, except that she was my only real friend at school. Without her, I knew the rest of them wouldn’t have much to do with me. She’d been nice to me and included me. So she wasn’t perfect. I think Chris made a pretty good argument this morning that I too, was so very far from anything resembling perfection.

  Our food came and the Jillian discussion ended. I grilled Kris a little about himself, and he told me he was in his fourth year of a six year physical therapy program. He was a native Bostonian and played for the school’s hockey team.

  I’d never been to a hockey game before and didn’t know much about the sport. When I told him that, he invited me to watch his next game later in the week. It was in Amherst, which was about two hours away. I told him I would think about it. I was still a little guarded and leery of him. I had a hard time accepting that he just wanted to befriend a random drunk chick he’d met at a party. It wasn’t exactly a shining moment for me, but the more we talked, the more I relaxed.

  We spent the next half an hour talking about random things and it was hard not to like the guy. He was funny, smart and just sarcastically witty enough that our personalities clicked well.

  “That was so good. Exactly what I needed, but I think I’m going to have to run for about two hours to work it all off,” I gave a satisfied groan when I dropped my fork onto my empty plate.

  “You like to run?”

  I laughed. “No. I workout so that my pants will fit me, but if I didn’t have to, I wouldn’t. I’ve actually been pretty lazy since school started and haven’t even bothered setting foot in the fitness center yet. After today though, I don’t think that’s going to be an option anymore.”

  “I’ve got to workout later. You can tag along if you want.”

  I accepted, mostly because I needed to and I knew working out in front of him would give me serious motivation not to half ass it, and because I liked being around Kris. He was a likable guy.

  It wasn’t until we left the diner and were just walking around campus to kill time, that I realized just how many people felt the same way. He literally knew like everyone, and everyone wanted to stop and talk to him. He was Mr. freakin’ popularity, all easygoing and friendly. He was a damn people magnet, drawing
everyone to him like he was handing out puppies in the back of a white van, or free Coach bags for all the females that smiled, waved and flirted.

  It was the same way when we met back up outside my dorm to go workout.

  “You have a lot of friends,” I grumbled when we finally made it to the fitness center.

  “I know a lot of people, doesn’t mean they’re all friends.”

  “Sure seemed like it, the way you were high fiving and bumping fists with everyone. And those girls, I mean seriously,” I arched an eyebrow, “do people really love hockey that much around here? They were practically falling at your feet.”

  He just laughed, “I can’t help it if people love me. In case you’re forgetting, you threw yourself at me last night.”

  “I did not,” I huffed as I climbed onto the elliptical for a warm up. “You pulled open the bathroom door when I was leaning on it. I fell on you. I did not throw myself at you. There’s a difference.”

  “Whatever you say. Do fifteen minutes on here, but don’t push yourself too hard yet. I’ll be on a treadmill over there. Come find me when you’re done and then we’ll do a couple circuits.”

  “What the hell is a circuit?”

  “I guess you’ll find out.”

  I did find out. I also discovered that I hated circuits. My version of a workout was a twenty minute jog. Kris’ version of a workout was to push me through every damn machine in that place, timing me and counting my reps and testing my weight limits. When we were done, my arms and legs were noodles. It was a good thing for Kris too, because even though I wanted to murder him, I was too tired and sore to do it.

  Also, after watching him workout alongside me, I knew I couldn’t take him. He pushed himself twice as hard as he pushed me and didn’t look half as tired. He did all this on top of the practices he had every day. He was a madman and I started questioning if I really wanted to be friends with someone that insane.