Neither

by Chelsea M. Cameron

  Maybe the bind is a self-fulfilling prophecy. Maybe Peter can't love me like that while he loves Di. It's a different kind of love he has for her. Maybe he's not capable of the romantic kind. If we knew for sure, then I wouldn't worry so much. It seems insane that he's been with me this long and it hasn't happened. I wish Di had been more specific in her binding promises. I'm not sure if I can control myself much longer from jumping his bones. They're such sexy bones.

  “I will take a shower while you get dressed,” he says, walking past me and shutting the bathroom door.

  I get a flash of anger from him and hope he doesn't break anything. I wait for a second, just in case. The water turns on and his energy calms. Phew. I don't want to be around angry Peter unless that anger is directed at Di.

  I put on my most comfortable jeans and a soft t-shirt. It's warm enough to wear sandals, so I put my flip-flops on.

  “You might want to turn your back as well, Ava. I am not dressed,” Peter says behind me. Crap, I forgot all about his clothes, too. They're buried in the bottom of my dresser in the back so Mom doesn't find them if she goes to put laundry away.

  “Okay, they're closed,” I say.

  He spots my lie right away. “Are they?”

  No, they aren't. I sigh and close them. He's too good. I hear him walk across the carpet and lean down to pick out clothes. The towel drops and my breath catches in my throat. Sweet Jesus. I've never seen Peter naked, but not because I don't want to. He just seems oddly modest for someone who's immortal. The rest of them don’t seem to have the same qualms, especially Cal. I shiver when I think of his name.

  His boxers slide over his skin with the most delicious sound. I'm only able to hear it because of the increased senses I acquired when he Claimed me. I was usually glad for the increased hearing, but this is sweet torture, and I have to bite my lip and try really hard not to open my eyes.

  “Are you all modest? I really don't feel like you are, seeing as how little value you put on clothes. Well, all of you except Cal.” The bastard.

  “I am not modest with anyone but you, Ava,” he says as he pulls his pants on. “It is only self-preservation. You make me want to do so many things that I do not think you are ready for. That I do not think I am ready for.”

  “You mean sex?” There, I said it. We need to get that out in the open. “Is it because of the bind?”

  “Partially,” he says, putting his shirt over his head. “I do not think it is a good idea to be involved... that way when there are so many complications.”

  “But there will always be complications. This whole relationship is a complication.” My eyes are still closed, but I know he's dressed so I open them. Even without the wings, he's a magnificent specimen.

  “I know. I just don't think now is the right time.”

  “You don't think it's ever the right time for anything,” I say, trying not to pout. I'm whining, but I can't seem to help myself. If he wasn't so damn good-looking things would be so much easier.

  “I know,” he says, walking over and kissing my forehead. “That's why I'm the one who has to say no.”

  I sigh heavily and cross my eyes at him. I hope he's going to smile and kiss my lips, but he doesn't.

  “Your mother is about to come up. I will be on the roof,” he says, and without further ado, is out the window. Seconds later my mother pokes her head in the door. She's sans wig today, just a scarf on her head. She must be gardening, seeing as how her knees are covered in dirt.

  “Hey, ma fleur, you're sleeping late again. You feel okay?”

  “Yeah, I'm good,” I say, keeping my head turned away from her so she can't see the bite on my neck. Peter was good enough to do it low, almost where my neck meets my shoulder. Still, I'm going to have to find a way to hide it. Or grow a pair and tell her, but that's going to require a long explanation I'm not sure I'm ready to give.

  “You want some pancakes?”

  “Thanks, but Tex and I are going out. Is that okay?” I feel horrible for turning down her pancakes, but I have to talk to Tex. She's the only one who will give the play-by-play of last night that I need. I also need to talk to Viktor.

  “Oh, that sounds like fun. I finally got in touch with the girls, and they're coming over this afternoon.” I almost wrench my head around to meet her eyes, but I don't.

  “You sure?”

  She nods. “Absolutely.”

  “Do you want me to leave?”

  “No, baby, you don't have to leave. You can stay if you want. It's your house and I'm sure they would love to see you.”

  I haven't seen her friends in a long time. Before her terminal cancer diagnosis, I saw them nearly every week for some sort of get-together so they could complain about the school board, kids, stretch marks, and other mom things. Mom has other things on her mind now.

  I'm not sure if I want to be around today, but I know Mom will need the support. Dad will be no help and he'll probably hide in his office like he usually does when they get together. What is it about men and groups of women? It's like they're allergic to them or there's too much estrogen for them to take or something.

  “Okay, well I'll be home later. You making them lunch?” I ask.

  “I thought I'd do pasta salad. You want to help?”

  I grin at her. “What kind of question is that? Of course I do.”

  “Oh, good. I don't want to infringe on your friend time.” It isn't really friend time, but I can't tell her that. She took the Peter-being-immortal Thing Two and Two-and-a-half well, but I don't think she'll take this well. Yay for Things Three and Four.

  “You could never do that,” I say. I want to get up and hug her, so I pull my wet hair over my neck.

  “You sure you're okay?” she says, studying my face.

  “Yeah, just tired.”

  “Did you stay up late reading again?”

  “Uh huh.” God, I'm a bad liar. I can tell from her tone that she knows I'm lying, but doesn't know exactly what I've been up to.

  “Don't feel like you have to rush back. Have fun with Tex. Tell her I miss seeing her.” Yeah, I miss having Tex over, too. Maybe it's time to pull the trigger and tell her about Mom.

  I flop back on my pillow when she leaves.

  “Peter, why does this have to suck so much?” My ironic use of the word suck is lost on me until a few seconds after I say it. He slips back through the window and comes to sit next to me on my bed.

  “I am sorry you have so many burdens. I wish I could take them from you.” He starts rubbing my feet. Yup, he's perfect.

  “Yeah, me too.” I sigh again. “What am I going to do about this?” I gesture to my neck.

  “I am not sure. I wish I could heal it for you.”

  “Yeah that would be nice. That should be part of the Claiming package. Instant healing, now for only three easy payments of nine dollars and ninety-nine cents.”

  “I am sorry. I did not know another way to manage it.”

  “I'm not mad at you, so stop being like that,” I say. My fingers find the wound, poking at it. It doesn't hurt as much as I thought it would. Maybe I'm getting desensitized. That would be kind of nice, being desensitized to pain.

  “I guess it's time for the scarf again.” I really should buy another one. The one I have is cute, a dark blue paisley, but I need something else.

  “I went back to the thrift store and found something for you,” he says, going to his drawer. I didn't know he did that. When had that happened? “I may have gone after hours, but I left money in the till.”

  He pulls out a bag from the store and hands it to me. It's the first real present he's gotten for me. I take something out of the bag. It's a beautiful green scarf in a material so soft and shiny that I have to fight the urge to rub it against my face.

  “You seem to really have a thing for green,” I say, wrapping it around my neck and trying to figure out the best way to tie it so it hides my bite without making me look like I'm hiding something. I twitch it into place.
/>   “How does it look?”

  “Perfect.”

  I go to the mirror in my bathroom and look at it. The scarf is gorgeous, and it almost matches my eyes. That sneaky Peter.

  “Thank you,” I say, walking toward him with the intent to kiss him. He moves away at the last minute.

  “We should go,” he says. I've been denied twice in one day. My ego is bruised, but I'm not going to show him that.

  I nod instead and go downstairs, saying good-bye to Mom as I grab my keys. Dad is MIA, which is good. I dash out before Mom can comment on the scarf. Actually, I have a good reason for wearing it if I tell her that Peter gave it to me. Brilliant.

  He meets me at the end of the driveway and gets in the car without a word. Mom is still unaware that he spends the night in my bedroom. I'm not ready to broach that conversation, either. So many secrets.

  The drive to Tex's house is mostly silent.

  “Aren't you worried?” I finally say, because I can't stand it anymore.

  “About what?”

  “The bind that Viktor made to avenge Ivan. Aren't you worried?” Has he forgotten?

  He blinks. “Not particularly. He is my brother. We will find a way out of this.”

  “No offense, I'm glad you got us out of there, but undoing a promise with another promise seems kind of silly.” Actually, it sounds like the dumbest thing ever, but they're supposed to be the brilliant immortals.

  “We did what we could at the time. We will work it out.”

  “I wish I had your confidence,” I say. How can he be so sure? He was sure of Cal and look how that turned out.

  “So do I.” Grr.

  The only car in Tex's driveway is hers, so I feel comfortable going inside. Still, I have this vision of Viktor waiting for us with a chainsaw like we're in some horror movie. That's ridiculous because I'm pretty sure a chainsaw wouldn't stand a chance against Peter.

  “You're alive!” A pair of arms throws themselves around me, and my face is pressed to Tex's chest as soon as I step in the door. Hello, boobs.

  “Can't breathe,” I manage to get out.

  She pulls back. Her eyes are wide and excited behind her purple glasses. Wait a second... There is something different about her. Something, more? It's like she got a haircut, only times a million.

  “What happened to you? You look...” I can't put my finger on it.

  “Uh, yeah, that's what we want to talk to you about,” she says, holding her hand out behind her, as if she's reaching for something. Or someone. Viktor emerges from the living room and takes it. Well, that's a development.

  “So you guys are like, together?”

  “More than that,” Tex says, looking back at him with a look I've never seen on her face. It isn't that flirty look or the sexy face she tries to make. It's pure and she looks happy. Really, really happy. What the... I look at her face and back at his.

  “What did you do?”

  Tex nods at Viktor, giving him permission. I think I know what's coming, but this can't be happening.

  “I Claimed her,” he says.

  “Shut the front door!” I stare at Peter. Everything had gone to hell in a handbasket while I’d been sleeping.

  Peter

  Ava is as shocked by Viktor Claiming Texas as I thought she would be. We all go to the living room where just the day before I told them my deep secret about how I killed Josie and how Cal saved me. Now we are sharing more secrets.

  “What the hell were you thinking?!” Ava yells at both Texas and Viktor, nearly leaping off the couch. I have to hold her hand so she won't. Her face is red and pinched, and her anger flows into me like fire.

  “Why are you yelling, you hypocrite! I guess it's fine for you, but not fine for anyone else? Why are you so damn special, Ava?” Texas yells back. They are both waving their arms and glaring at each other.

  We all hear the footsteps at the top of the stairs. Texas' brother is here, trying to eavesdrop. Little does he know that all of us can hear him doing it.

  Texas turns her head and yells up the stairs. “Coby, we are having adult time. Now get back in your room and put your headphones on before I break them and then cut your hair while you're sleeping.”

  Coby mutters a curse at Texas under his breath, but goes back to his room and shuts the door. Seconds later, loud music blares out of his headphones and into his ears.

  “I don't understand what the big deal is,” Texas says.

  Ava is about to scream again, but suppresses it. I give her hand a squeeze. She is not alone. She takes a breath and thinks before she speaks again.

  “You don't know what you're getting yourself into. It's like...” She struggles to find the words. “It's like letting someone else live inside of you. Get inside your head and share the most intimate parts of you. Sometimes Peter can read my mind. Sometimes I get sick when he doesn't have enough blood. We can't even be one room away for very long. You saw the pain that it caused last night and you still did it. What were you thinking?”

  Texas hesitates for a moment, looking at Viktor.

  “We thought that it was the best decision for the moment. She is involved in our world now and needs to be protected,” he says. Ava starts to say something else, but he cuts her off. “I will not hurt her, just as Peter has not hurt you. I did not take this lightly, but I knew that she would be a target after Cal and Di found out about her. I had to protect her.”

  “Thank you,” Texas says, looking at her hands in her lap. They are sitting close, but not touching. The energy between them crackles like lightning. Viktor does not know what he is in for with her. Or perhaps he does and chooses it anyway.

  Adele was like that. Fiery, passionate and impulsive. That is probably what attracted him in the first place. That fire in her eyes. They also look very alike.

  Those eyes go back to his face. I look at Ava, and she gazes at me. She's still thinking angry thoughts, and I get snippets of them from her, mostly with curse words. A tiny part of her, probably a part she doesn't even know exists, is relieved that she has someone to share this with. She is not alone.

  “It was so weird at first,” Texas says. “It was like I couldn't control what I was thinking. I just felt things I didn't think were my feelings. That doesn't make any sense.” She blushes, fiddling with her hands.

  “No, it does. How's your vision and hearing?” Ava asks.

  “Um, amazing? You didn't tell me about that part.” Texas smiles.

  Ava relaxes a little, but her anger is still simmering, pushed aside for now so she can share her experiences with her friend. Their bond is strong. Much like my bond with Viktor.

  Ava snaps her attention from Texas to Viktor. “What are you getting out of this, Viktor? Why did you do it?” Her tone is sharp again.

  “Because it needed to be done.”

  Ava nods, taking his words for their value.

  “You're a good person, you know?” Viktor says.

  “Thank you,” Ava says.

  “So, what now?” Texas says, shifting so she's closer to Viktor.

  “God, I don't know,” Ava says, rubbing her eyes. Even with all the sleep she got, she's still exhausted. I wish she didn't have to go to school the next day. I cannot keep her from her human life, as long as she is human. “We have got to find a way to break these binds. If we can do that, then we'll be set. Except we'll still have to get rid of Di. She's never going to stop trying to find a way to get me. And now we have to worry about Cal.” I want to brush the dark circles under her eyes away.

  “It's too bad we couldn't just stake you guys like real vampires. That would have solved a lot of our problems,” Texas says.

  “Right?” Ava says.

  Texas snaps her fingers. “I would have been on that Di like white on rice. But then, I probably would have staked you that first night Ava brought you to that party, Peter. I'm sorry I was so weird, but you weren't exactly what I expected. You weren't, either.” She directs the last part at Viktor.

  “I
did not expect you, either,” he says. They share a private moment, and I wonder if that is what I look like with Ava or what I could look like, if not for the bind. Viktor is free to feel however he wants about her. I am not.

  “I should be totally pissed at you right now. You Claimed my best friend and you promised to take my life,” Ava says.

  “Hey, it's not his fault. He was just trying to help,” Texas snaps.

  Ava holds up her hand to make her stop. “But I'm your friend, and you're my boyfriend's brother. So I'm going to let it go for now.” Ava's speech is met with silence. She glances at me and shrugs.

  “Sooo, someone needs to give me the full story of what went down. I was a little out of it,” Ava says, laughing a little.

  I put my arm around her back and she leans into me.

  Texas glances at Viktor before she tells her version of the story, which is mostly accurate. I interject a few times to explain something further. Texas is still ignorant of the power of the binds.

  “So if you promise something, you'll die if you don't do it? Why did you promise to avenge that guy's death in a year, you idiot?” Texas smacks him on the shoulder, but flinches back when her hand meets it. “Ouch. I can't even hit you,” she whines.

  “It was the only way. The only thing she would accept at the time. We will find a way in less than a year. A year is a long time,” Viktor says. It isn't, but he tells a small lie to assuage her.

  “How old are you?” Texas asks, turning to face him.

  “I don't remember,” he says.

  “Exactly,” she says, putting her finger in his face. “A year is like nothing for you. Don't you pull that crap with me, Viktor Belikov. I know my dates.” He told her his last name. That is not something he shares lightly. This relationship is more serious than I thought.

  “Wow, you know his last name?” Ava says.

  “I know a lot of things,” Texas says. “So, as I said, don't you pull that crap with me.” She pokes him in the chest.

  “I will try not to.”

  “Good,” she says, smiling at him.